Operation title: Beta Dog
location : Beaver Operation's Central Command Post, Washington State;
overall objective - keep the masses dumbed down;
stage 1 - deplete testosterone levels;
strategy - give them what they want >> High Definition and John Grisham spouting sh*t;
implementation - high speed internet + improved content;
outcome - 99% decrease in violent crime against homo erectus feminam/ S. Korean economy: fubar but the people have kpop;
unexpected outcome - 75% increase in Cougars stalking men.
high level official - "Put GPS surveillance on all Cougars";
low level official - "Yes sir, but how should I do it?";
high level official - "Use your brain ****-fer-brains and don't make me regret hiring you...jackass";
low level official (returns) - "Sir, I used a tranquillizer gun on him - got him the lower back area;
high level official - "Take him to the ****ing hospital for jocks for all I care!";
low level official - "Sir, what will they think if I bring a comatose 220 pound mountain lion into a hospital sir";
***insert pause***
high level official - "You sure it's comotose?";
low level official: "Gentle as a bear cub. He'll be out cold a good 6-7 hours thereabouts";
high level official: "tell you what son, bring him on over here; I'm kind of worried these guys are gonna go extinct with all this urbanization ****. Bring him in here and clear out the war table. Not all of it - just Africa. Go get a muzzle and leave him with me. When he comes to we'll get a few of you strong men to transport him over to my place. I'll keep him as a pet! Now I'm gonna take a valium and a take a nap in the next room. After you done muzzled him, leave him on the table and don't come in and disturb my sleep or you'll get worse that what you did to that dang Cougar I assure you. And it won't be no tranquilizer gun either! Lock the door behind you.";
***5 hours later***
high level official: "Darling, have you ever considered getting a Cougar as a pet? I hear they make great guard dogs..."
high level official's wife: "Sure hun, just make sure it's a male one. They make better guard dogs. And I've cancelled my massage with Sven today. Think I'll just relax a bit and watch Animal Planet...hunnn, we don't want to kill the neighbours children do we? So can you kinda find a toothless variety?"
high level official: "God you're just the perfect wife! Now do we need any groceries while I'm out? Maybe some peanut butter? Well, I'll just save a bunch and buy a quart."
high level official's wife: "LoL hun, that's so amazing - did you know male Cougars cum in quarts?" "Anyway, hurry back hunny bunny".