The
Filco Trooper
(Sung to the tune of The Trooper by Iron Maiden)
You'll take my silkscreen but I'll take yours too
You'll scratch my keytops but I'll rub yours through
So when you're waiting for the shiny spot
You'd better pray thats a thick matte coat
The click clack sounds as your typing begins
But on this battlefield etching wins
Your fingers fly on your keytops
But soon you'll see that glowing spot!
You try to complain and you try to run
You try calling those customer service bums
And as you carefully make your case
Out of the blue -- its Ripster's face!
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
"It happens to all keyboards, its just shiny!
Its all normal, no need to worry!
Learn to live with it, buy a sticker
But just dont complain about Filco!"
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
We try the vendor and all we get
Is Ripster's lines thrown back again
So now to touchtype you must learn
For in this vendor's policy there's no Return!
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Whats this now, the keys transpose
Dont type too fast or you'll be hosed
Try to complain and see Ripsters face
As he gets all up on your case
You better leave Filco alone
You better run or else you'll burn
Ripster's got it covered, and he's not alone
He's got Webwit for that comic turn
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
And as I lay here gazing at the glow
My keys are blank, my scan rate's slow
My board blows and all I can say
I'll never see my $120 again
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
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