Author Topic: Old Friends, Same Old Stories  (Read 975 times)

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Offline Kavik

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Old Friends, Same Old Stories
« on: Wed, 19 May 2021, 10:36:52 »
My core group of friends has been the same bunch of guys since middle/high school. It's great that we've continued being friends for ~20 years. But one thing that peeves me a bit is that they inevitably meander into talking about the old times when we hang out, and they talk about the *exact* *same* *memories* every time. We have tons of memories, and I even gave them a document with tons of them written out upon graduation, but they always want to talk about the same four or five things over and over again, and they act as though we haven't discussed them since they happened. I guess one interesting thing is to see how the memories change over time since we (they) remember less and less.

A year or two ago, it seemed that we spent all of our rare hangouts just talking about old memories instead of making new ones. It's nice to reminisce, but it does get stale after a while.
Maybe they're waiting for gasmasks and latex to get sexy again.

The world has become a weird place.

Offline tp4tissue

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Re: Old Friends, Same Old Stories
« Reply #1 on: Wed, 19 May 2021, 10:48:21 »
It's the limitation of our corporeal selves.   We have arms and legs our whole lives unchanging,  if suddenly we had wings.  You'd have your new memories.

This applies to all aspects of our being. With the addition of free time, internet, television, we've already lived several life-times in condensed form by age 30.  The net result is modern life feels same-y as you've described.

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Offline suicidal_orange

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Re: Old Friends, Same Old Stories
« Reply #2 on: Wed, 19 May 2021, 12:23:47 »
I guess most of them now have families, all but killing new memory making opportunities?  You also get older and wiser so no longer have catastrophic failures doing things (one of my group's* best memories was one guy taking mains electric while sat on his bent leg, flinging him to the other end of the bed where another dodged and saved his laptop - adults just don't do this) so life in general is more boring (from my singleton perspective, kids are supposedly a game changer)  I've never been one to meet up just because though - if I see people it's to do something.  As such we would be reminiscing over a pool table or game of poker so I have not noticed and been annoyed by the declining memory or repetitious nature of said reminiscing though it may well be happening.

Maybe when the kids grow up you'll be able to move on and make more memories when you have more spare cash, though it seems for most this time is spent/wasted with their partner.


*if you can call it that - there have been multiple 5 years gaps where we barely spoke and although we were meeting up weekly pre-covid I have only spoken to one of them once since)
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Offline iri

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Re: Old Friends, Same Old Stories
« Reply #3 on: Wed, 19 May 2021, 15:03:51 »
look at all you jammy ****ers having friends
(...)Whereas back then I wrote about the tyranny of the majority, today I'd combine that with the tyranny of the minorities. These days, you have to be careful of both. They both want to control you. The first group, by making you do the same thing over and over again. The second group is indicated by the letters I get from the Vassar girls who want me to put more women's lib in The Martian Chronicles, or from blacks who want more black people in Dandelion Wine.
I say to both bunches, Whether you're a majority or minority, bug off! To hell with anybody who wants to tell me what to write. Their society breaks down into subsections of minorities who then, in effect, burn books by banning them. All this political correctness that's rampant on campuses is b.s.

-Ray Bradbury

Offline brodiegrizz

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Re: Old Friends, Same Old Stories
« Reply #4 on: Wed, 19 May 2021, 23:54:31 »
Road trip time! This reminds me of the movie Wild Hogs

Seriously, I get this, convincing others to try new things or even finding new things to do can be tough. I think in a world of living a fast-paced lifestyle we need to take a step back and explore.

Offline Kavik

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Re: Old Friends, Same Old Stories
« Reply #5 on: Fri, 21 May 2021, 14:15:40 »
I guess most of them now have families, all but killing new memory making opportunities?  You also get older and wiser so no longer have catastrophic failures doing things (one of my group's* best memories was one guy taking mains electric while sat on his bent leg, flinging him to the other end of the bed where another dodged and saved his laptop - adults just don't do this) so life in general is more boring (from my singleton perspective, kids are supposedly a game changer)  I've never been one to meet up just because though - if I see people it's to do something.  As such we would be reminiscing over a pool table or game of poker so I have not noticed and been annoyed by the declining memory or repetitious nature of said reminiscing though it may well be happening.

Maybe when the kids grow up you'll be able to move on and make more memories when you have more spare cash, though it seems for most this time is spent/wasted with their partner.


*if you can call it that - there have been multiple 5 years gaps where we barely spoke and although we were meeting up weekly pre-covid I have only spoken to one of them once since)

Yeah, all of but one is married, and three of them have kids. The primary offender has five kids and lives a couple hours away, so, yeah, doing much with him besides the occasional sit and chat is out of the question.

I guess your point about adult life's boring nature and responsibility are probably the reason; whenever the conversation does divert from old memories, it's usually about home improvement, gardens, woodwork, work, or other such boring things.

Something else I've noticed about adulthood that may contribute is that even interesting things that happen nowadays don't really stick out or get retained in memory (unless there's a picture or video of it). Maybe it's because interesting/funny things in adulthood aren't all that novel compared to the rest of life up to that point.
Maybe they're waiting for gasmasks and latex to get sexy again.

The world has become a weird place.

Offline Sintpinty

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Re: Old Friends, Same Old Stories
« Reply #6 on: Wed, 26 May 2021, 20:53:04 »
My core group of friends has been the same bunch of guys since middle/high school. It's great that we've continued being friends for ~20 years. But one thing that peeves me a bit is that they inevitably meander into talking about the old times when we hang out, and they talk about the *exact* *same* *memories* every time. We have tons of memories, and I even gave them a document with tons of them written out upon graduation, but they always want to talk about the same four or five things over and over again, and they act as though we haven't discussed them since they happened. I guess one interesting thing is to see how the memories change over time since we (they) remember less and less.

A year or two ago, it seemed that we spent all of our rare hangouts just talking about old memories instead of making new ones. It's nice to reminisce, but it does get stale after a while.

wow you guys have friends? I don't, thats why im on this forum

Offline Kavik

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Re: Old Friends, Same Old Stories
« Reply #7 on: Wed, 26 May 2021, 23:52:30 »
My core group of friends has been the same bunch of guys since middle/high school. It's great that we've continued being friends for ~20 years. But one thing that peeves me a bit is that they inevitably meander into talking about the old times when we hang out, and they talk about the *exact* *same* *memories* every time. We have tons of memories, and I even gave them a document with tons of them written out upon graduation, but they always want to talk about the same four or five things over and over again, and they act as though we haven't discussed them since they happened. I guess one interesting thing is to see how the memories change over time since we (they) remember less and less.

A year or two ago, it seemed that we spent all of our rare hangouts just talking about old memories instead of making new ones. It's nice to reminisce, but it does get stale after a while.

wow you guys have friends? I don't, thats why im on this forum

Lol, you'd better make 'em now. It only gets harder as you get older; hence, why most of my friends are from this old group.
Maybe they're waiting for gasmasks and latex to get sexy again.

The world has become a weird place.

Offline tp4tissue

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Re: Old Friends, Same Old Stories
« Reply #8 on: Wed, 26 May 2021, 23:55:33 »
Net-friends are gud' cuz you don't have to worry about them not showering and coming to your house.

Offline james97

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Re: Old Friends, Same Old Stories
« Reply #9 on: Mon, 14 June 2021, 22:57:03 »
I think it's good that you still have friends that know each other for more than 20 years. I am 26, and barely contact any friends from my primary school.
Sometimes, the old days make us feel so peaceful and memorial, since we all young and energetic. But we have to be present and always heads to the future. So, encourage your friend to activities like sport, travelling, movie with each other, you will have more stuff to talk about.
Thanks for sharing your story.  :D