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die, keyboard, die



I suppose a little context would help.

This person put this keyboard in the oven on broil. Here is the full text. ( I got this off of reddit )

t's pretty easy, and once you try this, you'll never cook a keyboard any other way. (Works for mice and trackballs too, but I'll assume keyboard for the rest of the post.) I have to give credit where credit is due, I found this on reddit initially. EDIT: Although I could swear it was longer ago than this, it appears that I originally learned of this technique in August of 2007, at this Reddit submission

Start with a keyboard. This process is going to improve the mouth-meltiness, so you can use a cheaper model, and make sure it has some function keys. I prefer Belkin or Kensington models. Lay the keyboard on a plate and shake enough sea salt onto it that you can barely see any keys. You want a lot of salt, and don't worry, it's not going to stay there.

If you like garlic:

Use your garlic press to extract a few cloves of garlic onto the keyboard, on top of the salt. With a knife, spread the garlic around liberally. What you're aiming for is a keyboard slathered in sea salt, with lots of garlic on top. Salt breaks down garlic, so with a few movements of the knife, you'll have a pasty garlic mash on top of the salt. Sprinkle more salt on top.

If you'd rather have herbs:

Get some herbs (rosemary, basil, whatever your taste). If they're fresh, you need to dice them extremely fine. You're probably better off either using dried herbs, or throwing an over-quantity of fresh herbs in the food processor to chop them up quickly. Follow the same procedure as with the garlic, by placing the herbs on top of the salt and spreading them around with a knife. The salt won't break down herbs as it does garlic, so you aren't going to get a paste effect, just make sure there are bits of herbs covering the entire keyboard.

Flip the keyboard over and repeat the process of salting and adding garlic or herbs.

Leave the keyboard sit at room temperature for about an hour for each inch that the keyboard is thick. If you've done it right, you're going to see chemicals leaching out of the keyboard and onto the plate. When the time is up, go to the sink and rinse every last bit of salt (and garlic or herbs) off the keyboard. Then, with some paper towels, remove every last drop of water from the keyboard.

Throw it on the grill. When it's cooked to taste, don't bother adding any spices or sauce to it. The keyboard will have absorbed a slight bit of salt, as well as the garlic or herbs.

Can't remember offhand what the physics are, but in a nutshell, the salt penetrates the chemicals in the plastic and delivers the garlic or herb flavor to it. Meanwhile, the salt extracts excess liquid from the keys. You wind up with a flavored keyboard which, ironically, is more tender and juicy without the liquid which has leached out.

For anyone who's ever eaten at Texas de Brazil and wants to know how they prepare their garlic qwerty, this is it.

I've tried a lot of variations on this theme. Pretty much all herbs work well. The one thing I hoped would be tasty but wound up not infusing any flavor at all was citrus. I tried placing lemon and lime slices against the salt hoping for a citrus flavor, and got absolutely nothing but far more leached liquid than usual. I think the salt vamped the juices out of the fruits directly to the plate instead of transferring them to the keyboard - probably has to do with the acidity.

I'm not sure if this is a good idea, the fumes from melted plastic can be highly toxic.

Second that.  Not a good idea.

I think this one looks interesting:

Melted keyboard on flickr


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