I took an Uber car to work today because I missed the bus. i was feeling a little ill all morning, and breakfast wasn't settling too well in the ol tummy. Just as my driver was pulling out of an intersection a Subaru ran the red light and we barely swerved to avoid hitting it nose-on. It was at that moment of intensity that I momentarily lost focus and let rip a rather substantial fart. I know the driver heard it since it was actually louder than the screeching tires from the near-crash. Well, a few precious moments later I started to smell it.
Right away I realized something was wrong, this was no ordinary smelling fart. I know the driver smelled it too, there was no way he couldn't. The pungent aroma was not unlike that of a used baby diaper and a pig farm combo scent. I knew something was off and adjusted myself in the seat. Immediately I felt the shameful wet and warm squish of a poo. I am an adult man, and here was poo in my pants on a workday!
Well I knew right away something was amuck and confronted the driver yelling, "DID YOU JUST PUT **** IN MY PANTS?" The driver look confused, but I think he knew that I knew he put **** in my pants while I was distracted. I only gave him 2 stars.
