I started to quote some of that, but why?
Since you do not have a clue. My last name is Rittenhouse, people are always asking me if I am German. To which I reply, "No, it is an Americanization of a Dutch name". You see, we ask things like that because we are interested. You with all of your self confidence take it as an insult. The only place the insult is is in your mind.
Words only have emotional meaning in context. If I talk or write to you in a nasty manner, then I am probably intending insult. If I just use a word in a normal tone, I most likely am not. There is no such thing as a loaded word, only loaded minds waiting for a chance to go off.
I do admit that there are ignorant bigots who are trying to put others down, but they are doing that because they feel they are at the bottom and are trying, unsuccessfully I might add, to feel they are better than someone, somewhere.
And, by the way, my opservation has been that arrogance is usually a cover for a feeling of deep inferiority (usually hidden from themselves), and that those who do act that way are overly sensitive to perceived slurs. To most Americans the word Jap is to Japanese as Brit is to British. In other words it has no negative connotation at all. Thinking that it is an insult is going to give you lots of grief. The thing about selfrespect is that it does not require others to bow to it, the keyword there is self.
I, and most others, I hope, have no need to put someone down to feel OK about myself. I certainly am not going to ask anyone to change their vocabulary because of the inferiorities I do have. I do have them, as do most people, but I have spent a lot of time in theropy digging them out and exposing them to the light of day. In the bright light they are all laughable, and obviously my problem, not someone else's. Although I admit that I sometimes still respond to them without thinking.