Sell it to me and I'll give it a good home where I'll feed and clothe him until one day he's old enough to leave the house on his own and join the Marines. Octo will go through rigorous training, eventually going overseas for combat. He'll see rough days ahead, and eventually get wounded in battle to be sent home with exploratory commendations.
I will pool together my savings and send Octo through to a good local college, where in his senior will meet the clack of it's dreams during a protest against unhomogenized hedgehog milk being sold in grade school cafeterias. He'll spend the night in jail for the protest, but get out and later go on to become valedictorian of his class and secure a good stable job in middle management.
Eventually he will marry his love, and together they will find a nice quiet keyboard in the suburbs and raise two beautiful mini clacks. On my deathbed he will thank me for saving him from spending the rest of his life in a box under the tyrannical thumb of thegunner100 and I'll just smile, placing my hand on his profile. "Octo you've grown before my very eyes, I am the proud papa" I'll say. "If you wish to learn your true origins my son, you must seek the factory of gnomes far to the east, beyond the rolling plains and mountains of Rocky. Far beyond the city of lights and sin, through the desert you must journey. All the way to the sea, to the bay of San Fran. This is where you shall discover the mystery behind your creation. Go my son. Go with great actuation force! Blllllahhhhh I am dead now."
Only then will Octo's true adventure begin.
*cue theme song* dundun dun dun DUUUUUNNNNNNN DODODODOD dundundun nananana do dee dodo dunnnnnnnn DUN DUN DUN deedee DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN....
