It's happened to many of us: You buy a vintage keyboard online, assuming it's just yellowed from age, and it turns out to be stained brown from tobacco smoke. What's more, the manufacturer was careless enough to use better plastic for the keys that didn't absorb the smoke as well as the rest of the board.
Don't struggle trying to brighten that disgustingly smoke-stained board! Just buy yourself a set of these great
pre-smoked keys for a mere $45 shipped!
You'll admire how evenly and professionally these keys have been imbued with that distinctively malignant smoked-around color. They're also guaranteed to reek so badly of tobacco that you can smell them from up to 30 feet away (unless you're a smoker yourself, of course, in which case you probably can't smell much at all—but that probably doesn't matter, where you're headed).
What's that, you don't
have a smoke-discolored board? No problem! Put these keys on an
unstained board and your KB-collector friends will see them and say, "How did that board stay so much cleaner than the keys?" And in true collector fashion, they'll construct elaborate theories involving plastic formulations, eccentric air currents, the keys being removed so the board could be smoked around separately, alien key abductions, etc.
Then you can reveal the truth, and possibly enjoy that rare phenomenon—an example of
humor among KB collectors! (For those of you not familiar with it,
humor is a message or event whose ingenuity, verbal skill, or incongruity has the power to evoke laughter.
Laughter is an audible expression of an emotion—including mirth, joy, derision, embarrassment or fright—by the expulsion of air from the lungs resulting in distinctive involuntary sounds, usually accompanied by movements of the mouth and contraction of the muscles around the eyes.)
LIMITED TIME – BONUS OFFER! Order these amazing keys now and receive a gift card for a
free chest X-ray for you or a self-destructing smoker you know!
