Author Topic: Stalker drama (Read 23297 times)

Input Nirvana · « **on:** Sat, 19 May 2012, 15:26:40 »

Anyone ever have an obsessed stalker that was so severe you needed to get a restraining order?
I may need to change my screen name if she stalks me here.

Dang.

Sigh.

keyboardlover · « **Reply #1 on:** Sat, 19 May 2012, 16:11:26 »

Post pics of her in DangWang's subforum!

Input Nirvana · « **Reply #2 on:** Sat, 19 May 2012, 17:40:13 »

Shoot. You guys obviously haven't had this issue. It's pretty rad.

-broke into my home and stole.
-numorois text, call, email, drivebys.
-email/call work, businesses saying crazy stuff etc.
-hacked personal email account and is emailing everyone with some crazy stuff.
-disconnected my business website/email.
-was a bookkeeper and has my business and personal filings, soc sec numer, banking info.
-had to get a credit monitoring service because she can check credit reports and see where I move.
-at this point is telling untruths about me to bolster her cause. How silly is that?

She wants a relationship that can never happen, I've tried to distance muself for months, and now I will never deal with her at any level again. Period. I actually don't care that she emails my friends, I mean really, they're my friends and that won't change. But it's sad, pathetic and dangerous.

Just got restraining order, but that only concerns her contacting me, not all the other stuff. I'm moving, making some other changes. I was an attorney years ago, but that doesn't help this situation. She is a heartbeat away from doing enough that the D.A. can bring a suit against her. I am tracking everything to eventually get her into a legal arena. But it's exhausting and I would rather have her just stop before its too late.

You guys be careful out there.

Input Nirvana · « **Reply #3 on:** Sat, 19 May 2012, 19:37:02 »

Dunno. That's part of the problem. She wanted it, I wouldn't give it.

Input Nirvana · « **Reply #4 on:** Sat, 19 May 2012, 20:19:18 »

Quote from: ripster;596097

Erm...
http://geekhack.org/member.php?14046-keyboardlover

I'm devoid of humor at this point

I didn't mention that I've been financially wiped out. Retirement is 100% gone, my business is dead, I'm scraping by for the next 90 days just to get back to zero, not sure what after that. I can maybe rebuild by January if nothing further derails me.

Need an opportunity.

thegunner100 · « **Reply #5 on:** Sat, 19 May 2012, 20:21:56 »

Quote from: input nirvana;596113

I'm devoid of humor at this point
I didn't mention that I've been financially wiped out. Retirement is 100% gone, my business is dead, I'm scraping by for the next 90 days just to get back to zero, not sure what after that. I can maybe rebuild by January if nothing further derails me.

Need an opportunity.

I havent been around long enough to know you... but you have my sympathy, and I wish you the best of luck! :hug:

Input Nirvana · « **Reply #6 on:** Sat, 19 May 2012, 20:51:19 »

Thanks man!
Yea, my ass has been kicked, I blame no one but myself. I've been too generous and carried too much for others for too long with virtually no return. Economic issues already took away the cream off the top, then a few companies rolled over and didnt pay...hard to come back from all that. The one thing I have going for me is that everyone has been paid and my credit is good. I haven't burned a soul. I owe the government a few bucks for my last business filings and penalties, but that's manageable.

Onward and upward!

To all: Please be careful you don't get in my situation. It's stressful, humiliating, difficult, and people don't really want to be around when you are sucking exhaust fumes.

It's lonely down here at the bottom

captain · « **Reply #7 on:** Sat, 19 May 2012, 21:05:22 »

Sorry to hear of your woes. I hope you are able to recover soon.

You tell us to be careful, but don't indicate how or what we should do and/or not do... How did that woman get enough info on you to do all of that damage? It sounds like you let her in. I mean, "hacked your email account"? Does that even happen without social engineering, an inside connection, or someone using "password" as his password?? I'm just curious to know what the weak points are and how one might prevent such craziness.

On the bright side, you are living in one of the best places in the world. :-D

Lanx · « **Reply #8 on:** Sat, 19 May 2012, 21:16:52 »

Quote from: captain;596139

"hacked your email account"? Does that even happen without social engineering, an inside connection, or someone using "password" as his password??

i'm guessing this is the part where she broke in and stole stuff, could be as simple as pillaging every sticky note on the monitor and just trying them all.

TexasFlood · « **Reply #9 on:** Sat, 19 May 2012, 21:18:17 »

Quote from: captain;596139

Sorry to hear of your woes. I hope you are able to recover soon.

...

I mean, "hacked your email account"? Does that even happen without social engineering, an inside connection, or someone using "password" as his password?? I'm just curious to know what the weak points are and how one might prevent such craziness.

On the bright side, you are living in one of the best places in the world. :-D

I wondered about the email account as well. There are a couple of other possibilities, guessable password recovery questions, using someone else's PC set up to log keystrokes, find it written down or using his PC to change the PW after getting in with a cookie after braking in are a few that come to mind.

TexasFlood · « **Reply #10 on:** Sat, 19 May 2012, 21:21:12 »

Quote from: captain;596139

Sorry to hear of your woes. I hope you are able to recover soon.

...

I mean, "hacked your email account"? Does that even happen without social engineering, an inside connection, or someone using "password" as his password?? I'm just curious to know what the weak points are and how one might prevent such craziness.

On the bright side, you are living in one of the best places in the world. :-D

Sorry to hear about it as well and hope it passes soon. I wondered about the email account as well. There are a couple of other possibilities, guessable password recovery questions, using someone else's PC set up to log keystrokes, find it written down or using his PC to change the PW after getting in with a cookie after breaking in are a few that come to mind.

alaricljs · « **Reply #11 on:** Sat, 19 May 2012, 21:37:46 »

That's some messed up crap, sorry to hear you're going through that. I suppose I'm fortunate enough to have a personality that few women appreciate much less like, so no worries there for me.

Input Nirvana · « **Reply #12 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 00:13:03 »

Several months ago she was given my Macbook Pro to use for some data entry and run reports for my business. At that time unfortunately she was able to monitor some of my business email because of auto login. She had too much to drink one night and let something slip about a personal email in my business email account. After a few days I figured out she had access. So I changed all passwords on all accounts and came up with a new password naming convention, which I wrote down as I came up with it. She broke into my home and that notebook is one of the things she stole. Then it was a matter of spending hours trying the various combinations on the various accounts till she got one. Then she forwarded email conversations to her own personal email account and wrote people emails as though she was me until I secured that account.

I don't have much recourse but to let it play out.

Seriously, people need to go to jail for that, or be shot.

captain · « **Reply #13 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 00:23:05 »

or both.

Thanks for sharing your tale. I hope the drama dies down and life returns to roses and sunshine. I recommend a trip to Napa for a weekend of wine "tasting". :-)

Input Nirvana · « **Reply #14 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 00:28:27 »

I prefer Sonoma

The next 90 days are rough. I'll be financially recovering for the rest of the year, but hope to be on my new path before the holidays. Kinda blank-minded right now.

I'll have one or two Kinesis keyboards for sale soon.

BACK TO KEYBOARDS!

telepete · « **Reply #15 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 00:35:54 »

Sorry to hear all this. Good luck.

captain · « **Reply #16 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 01:00:45 »

It's actually Sonoma for me too, but I wasn't sure people here would know what I was talking about. I sure do like the Lodi zins and the Santa Lucia Highlands Pinots too. Maybe the best idea is to pick up a case of assorted wines, and hit Santa Cruz for a weekend of surfing. That always reset my system when everything had gone FUBAR.

Input Nirvana · « **Reply #17 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 01:20:33 »

Sonoma is more down to earth than Napa, and has more to offer, I think. I was working in Cloverdale for 10 days a few weeks ago. Nice.

I've been planning on moving to Santa Cruz for a while now. Probably at least 90 days away from THAT little treat! My surfboard is on consignment at a shop right now

captain · « **Reply #18 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 02:51:05 »

Do NOT announce where you're moving to! The crazy stalker might be reading geekhack! ;-P

Malphas · « **Reply #19 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 05:17:32 »

I've had psycho exes but nothing as bad as this sounds. No doubt if you were a woman complaining of a male stalker you'd have gotten more appropriate responses instead of jokes initially. Good luck, input nirvana.

keyboardlover · « **Reply #20 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 07:52:59 »

Good luck buddy. Sounds nasty.

Do you think it could be karma for all your womanizing? I know a LOT about karma. I'm on the payment plan.

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Input Nirvana · « **Reply #21 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 09:01:56 »

The womanizing is mostly my online persona, along with my pseudo-aggressive and stupid comments I sometimes post here. I've met with/gone out with girls, not been interested, and moved on...is that womanizing? The only accusation I've had of that is by the disgruntled stalker...

Although I'm angry and ramping up to deal with this pproblem legally, more than anything I feel sad for her. She got her second DUI in 6 months when I first called the police about the break in, and she doesn't accept the blame for anything, but chooses to make her situations everyone else's fault. That's her justification for these crazy actions. She's lonely, bitter and high drama all the way. I mean really, she illegally gains access to my personal emails, sends long, rambling emails to people she doesn't know saying how bad I am and how good she is and wants to talk about it with them. And the lies, don't forget the lies, they are the diamonds in this mess

Dunno how karma works with money. I've been way too generous and easy with money, and it never flows back, so I won't hold my breath. Maybe a golden opportunity will present itself, but I currently have a serious lack the contacts usually neededd for opportunities.

keyboardlover · « **Reply #22 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 10:09:35 »

I'm sure it will all work out.

In the meantime, at least you're getting more action than me!

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Input Nirvana · « **Reply #23 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 12:44:38 »

LOL!

In the end, she just needs to understand there can never be anything between us at any level after all this garbage has occurred, not even friendly contact. I don't wish her ill will, and maybe she can get some help with whatever bothers her so much. She should move forward and find other things to occupy her time and mind. I'm off limits and am taking steps to legally protect myself from retribution. Anything else that slips through the cracks...oh well.

On to financial rebuilding!

Djuzuh · « **Reply #24 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 13:32:08 »

input nirvana: Karma doesn't exist. Unless you are personally responsible for her current state, you didn't deserve what she's inflicting you.

Input Nirvana · « **Reply #25 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 14:42:03 »

You guys are funny, thanks for that.

It's a difficult situation regardless, even when people just disagree on one small point. We see things from different perspectives and interpret things in different ways. It boils down to walking away if it doesn't work for you. Her issue is that she wants something, can't get it, and combined with her off-base perspective and drinking, is continuing to engage and be malicious. Another month and in her mind I'll be responsible for her ****ty childhood.

I don't hurt people, I have a lot of empathy and try to boost them up. I've spent too much time doing this across the board and need to focus on stabilizing and re-establishing myself. A scary time.

I sincerely hope no one else goes through this, it's a very big problem that makes no sense. All because someone wants a piece of me that I can't give and can't relate to that outcome. Crazy. But I still wish her well, I believe she's not right in her head and needs some form of help.

I will post two things:
1) If there is some kind of positive resolution that occurs at the permanent restraining order hearing on the 31st, or something that may happen sooner.
2) If I develope a plan for business that will substantially increase happiness/stability, whether it be my old business or something new.

Throwing it out there:
I'm very open to participating in a start up, or other endeavors. You can PM me if you like. I'm located 1.5 hours south of San Francisco, but will be moving very shortly.

net2522 · « **Reply #26 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 14:58:09 »

Hopefully you get out of this soon soon.

keyboardlover · « **Reply #27 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 16:32:08 »

Quote from: Djuzuh;596511

input nirvana: Karma doesn't exist.

Are you kidding? Karma is practically Newtonian!

Quarzac · « **Reply #28 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 17:50:23 »

Jeeze, man, that's rough. If I could buy you a beer, I'd buy you a beer.

Input Nirvana · « **Reply #29 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 18:04:25 »

Hey, if I can start sleeping more than 6 hours a night and get income greater than my expenses....I'll be in a much better spot, will start thinking more clearly, and make plans again.

And maybe people won't shun me and my black cloud!!!! Check this thing out! Huge, isn't it??

keyboardlover · « **Reply #30 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 20:01:13 »

I was going to ask you for advice on getting this girl I like into bed.

..but now I'm afraid I might not be able to get her out of it!

Input Nirvana · « **Reply #31 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 21:00:16 »

Haha!
I'm not a player, although my stalker says that I am, and wants the whole world to know what she thinks. As though anyone cares. Especially my friends of 15 years she trying to contact via email.

TexasFlood · « **Reply #32 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 22:02:41 »

Quote from: input nirvana;596678

Hey, if I can start sleeping more than 6 hours a night and get income greater than my expenses....I'll be in a much better spot, will start thinking more clearly, and make plans again.

And maybe people won't shun me and my black cloud!!!! Check this thing out! Huge, isn't it??

Following you around is it? :sad:

Input Nirvana · « **Reply #33 on:** Sun, 20 May 2012, 23:25:40 »

Holy **** TexasFlood, you're stalking me too!

audioave10 · « **Reply #34 on:** Mon, 21 May 2012, 10:52:16 »

input nirvana...Good Luck!
I'm glad to be too old for such problems anymore.
When you first said Stalker...I thought you meant the game. LOL

TexasFlood · « **Reply #35 on:** Mon, 21 May 2012, 11:23:24 »

Quote from: input nirvana;596853

Holy **** TexasFlood, you're stalking me too!

It's not me you have to worry about...

TexasFlood · « **Reply #36 on:** Mon, 21 May 2012, 11:39:24 »

Said the cute little white bunny rabbit...

Input Nirvana · « **Reply #37 on:** Mon, 21 May 2012, 11:46:38 »

She's in her mid/late 30's...no spring chicken.

She's mostly just making herself more miserable, and being an inconvenience to me. Can't really hurt me much more unless she breaks the law. The contacting of people just makes her look like a lunatic. I've chosen to deactivate the email accounts she penetrated/attempted to penetrate. At midnight she was still attempting to reset passwords...I'm over it.

TexasFlood · « **Reply #38 on:** Mon, 21 May 2012, 11:56:51 »

I once had a woman basically do stakeouts to keep up with what I was doing and sometimes follow me so I've had a taste.
But luckily she either didn't have the skills or motivation to get into my email, make harassing calls to folks I know, or break into my place.
Either way you have my sympathy and assurance that such things can pass, did in my case anyway.
Hopefully the pictures above were taken with the humor intended, could be taken both ways I guess.
I almost didn't post them for that reason, but if you don't have your sense of humor then you're really screwed! :wink:

kriminal · « **Reply #39 on:** Mon, 21 May 2012, 11:59:14 »

Quote from: input nirvana;596564

Throwing it out there:
I'm very open to participating in a start up, or other endeavors. You can PM me if you like. I'm located 1.5 hours south of San Francisco, but will be moving very shortly.

you guys sure its input nirvana we are talking to? O_o!!!

TexasFlood · « **Reply #40 on:** Mon, 21 May 2012, 12:06:08 »

Excellent point, we don't really know do we? We might be talking to his stalker!

Input Nirvana · « **Reply #41 on:** Mon, 21 May 2012, 13:41:43 »

True.
Imav can verify my 2 IP addresses ffrom my phone and home comp. I guess.

If anyone has a link or a list of things I should do or be aware of...please post.

TexasFlood · « **Reply #42 on:** Mon, 21 May 2012, 13:48:21 »

Let's hope nobody else gets them, as a hard line ISP IP will reveal your location to probably within 700 meters.

godly_music · « **Reply #43 on:** Tue, 22 May 2012, 00:44:18 »

Sheesh, she is crazy. All the best to you.

One thing you might wanna do from now on is have your harddrive encrypted, so you'll have to enter a password at boot. TrueCrypt is excellent and available for Mac. This enables you to keep your auto login for e-mails and even store sensitive data in plain text (as long as your computer is well secured towards the internet). A strong password isn't one that uses lots of symbols and numbers, but simply one that has many letters. You can use mnemonic hooks well here. Something like 'GeorgeWashingtonBurnRoast' will never, ever, ever be brute forced.

I don't think she'll have a chance to access your computer again, but good security practices go a long way.

DanGWanG · « **Reply #44 on:** Tue, 22 May 2012, 02:33:21 »

So this is what's been going on....

Input Nirvana · « **Reply #45 on:** Tue, 22 May 2012, 21:38:16 »

She was served with the restraining order I filed for. In retribution, she has filed for one against me which I received today. I read it at work and my stomach started churning and I was sweating. No one has ever said or written such horrible things about me. She turned it 180 degrees around and added things you see on reality tv shows. Truly nasty and malicious. I sound like a complete monster in the complaint. It's all lies, and I know it, but it doesn't change how I feel about reading it. I'm sick. I would do anything to change this situation. Then today she started texting female friends of mine (I think she got their mobile numbers when she hacked one of my free email accounts...the IM or conversations on Gmail). I've known them all for over a decade, they live in other states, and they all threatened her with calling police for harassment.

All this because I tried to be supportive and help someone that has been spiraling down for months. I've been trying to cut the tie 100% for months...that created even more static. There was never a better, less problematic way of stopping the insanity. I realize that going to court will be a step in reducing the problem, but it's so mentally and emotionally disturbing. I have to handle all this by myself, no friends or family to help support through this nasty time.

It's hard for me to admit this...I'm scared.

keyboardlover · « **Reply #46 on:** Tue, 22 May 2012, 21:40:29 »

That sucks brother. I wish you good luck but honestly I think you will be fine and it will all work out.

In the end she will be out of your life and it sounds like that's all you really need. Focus on that. Focus on the positives.

In the meantime it sounds like you are doing all the right things. And anyone who she contacts you can just explain the situation to. They should understand if they care about you.

TexasFlood · « **Reply #47 on:** Tue, 22 May 2012, 22:00:37 »

Sounds like she needs the wonder of modern pharmaceuticals.
Until then I hope you weather the storm and come out OK.

Input Nirvana · « **Reply #48 on:** Tue, 22 May 2012, 22:38:40 »

-Thanks guys. Yes they understand and are supportive. They know me well and deep.
-I know every few days it will be less bad, but the fear of the unexpected is wearing me out.
-It turns out she's been on various meds her whole life and has yearly ups/downs.
-My mind is the worst enemy....worrying, wondering, thinking, confused, don't know what to do, how to make it better....

In 90 days I'll be caught up with my monthlies, and that will be a daily hassle that is gone along with the stress that creates. Then I can take a few baby steps on fine tuning and improving. My current employment will love me, I'm pretty kick ass with everything...but that takes a little time. Then perhaps some better opportunities will present themselves so I can stand a better chance.

Thanks again. This is a very lonely and disconcerting time. This is what I get for trying to be supportive to a person that has been spiraling down for 6 months. It was going to be ugly making the separation (not that we were dating even though she believes that) no matter what.

godly_music · « **Reply #49 on:** Wed, 23 May 2012, 01:38:02 »

Separate the things you can do something about, and the things you can't. Don't worry about the latter. I know it's hard, but the more energy you conserve and the more efficiently you can spend it, the happier you'll be.

You say it yourself, your mind is the worst enemy. That's true for a lot of people. We have this habit of constantly chewing on problems and amplifying their effects on us, but it doesn't really help.

Maybe set some time aside where you do something rewarding. Get a good sweat on, hobbies, relaxation, whatever. As long as you don't let your mind linger on this. Don't let this situation 'own' you.

News:

Author Topic: Stalker drama (Read 23297 times)