What's Bothering You? (The thread about what is bothering you.)

[korrelate]

A couple last notes for NoisyTurtle:

1. "Best is the Enemy of Better". Maybe (of course I don't know for certain - this is just speculation) you're just not ready to be gunning for "THE" dream job, but I bet if you knew you were on your way you'd be more satisfied with yourself. Maybe instead of focusing on your dream job you focused on jobs that will look great on your resume for when you do go to apply for the dream job. What these are depends on your field - ask questions, research.

2. Consider the possibility that:
a. Something is really wrong with your resume (the folks in alumni job placement at your college might be a big help here).
b. Your resume just doesn't stand out enough (try writing competitions, try tutoring English. Get creative and purposeful here: make it obvious in your resume that you are busting your butt to be the kind of person that the dream job requires).
Both of these possibilities require you to entertain the notion that somebody may be better at something than you are. If you have a problem with (and that's not meant to sound facetious - I really don't know) then deal with it. Be thankful for any feedback you get and gracious to anybody who gives it - you'd be amazed at how far basic manners can get you. Of course some people will make frivilous comments that aren't helpful. Use them as an opportunity to practice being thankful and gracious anyway - that practice will serve you well when it comes to be truly thankful and gracious.

If you have actually sent out 450 (you've said 450 and 1000 at various points in your thread so I don't know where the hyperbole actually stops and reality starts) then either one of the above (or some variation of them) must be true b.c. I don't actually believe that the entire population of Seattle is actively conspiring to keep you down and I hope you don't either. Just realize that your dream job isn't going to gift-wrap itself for you.

Finally, be thankful for the fact that you know what your dream job is: you're really lucky in this regard. Many would probably say that that's the hard part. From what it sounds like, I'm probably older than you are and I still have no idea what that job is: I'm just glad enough when I find work that is actually challenging.

In addition to all of the above, but only as a coping method to help you get from one point to the next on your journey to your dream job, there's a comedian who's got some sage advice about happiness baked into one of his most famous tours: Dennis Leary's "No Cure For Cancer."

I'm not recommending this to sound like a smart a**, because I really do think this advice to myself frequently - it's the bit centered around the title of his new book (you'll know when you get there - I don't want to spoil it) but it's hilarious and it really is something we all need to say to ourselves when we begin letting ourselves feel overwhelmed.

I do this ^^^, and then I get on with solving the problem.


That's All Folks,

K

[noisyturtle]

If you have actually sent out 450 (you've said 450 and 1000 at various points in your thread so I don't know where the hyperbole actually stops and reality starts)

450 since COVID, 1k+ since graduation.

And yeah 100% agree on life is tough, but what weirds me out is how I miss out on the very basic lowest level achievements everyone else seems to achieve with no issues despite working my ass off to achieve them. It's ****in weird. Things that you would assume for any person on Earth are just givens. Guarantees like vehicle ownership, dating, having friends. Even owning a mattress has somehow eluded me for my adult life. How does someone approaching 40 never own a mattress or car? It's just weird.
Obviously yes, something is wrong with me.

[Findecanor]

Obviously yes, something is wrong with me.

At least you're not me. Be happy about that.

[korrelate]

LOL. Everybody's got something wrong with them. And that's OK.

So have you had anybody else look at your resume, gotten some help from college? If you send out 50 or 100 resumes and you get no response then that means something's broken: you're sending them to the wrong people, you're using the language, something. You need feedback on your resume ASAP.

Sounds like you could also use some constructive criticism from a reliable helpful source. College job placement, some place like that. Again, go ask a librarian (several different librarians even) - you'd be amazed at the variety of services the libraries offer (and that's not all - librarians are also familiar with the services that are on offer by other agencies in the community).

[fohat.digs]

How does someone approaching 40 never own a mattress

You can get a decent mattress on Craig's List for the price of a bag of your weed.

And I strongly recommend it, getting a good night's sleep is a joy and not getting it is torture.

[tp4tissue]

they haz mattress @ costco

[yui]

If you have actually sent out 450 (you've said 450 and 1000 at various points in your thread so I don't know where the hyperbole actually stops and reality starts)

450 since COVID, 1k+ since graduation.

And yeah 100% agree on life is tough, but what weirds me out is how I miss out on the very basic lowest level achievements everyone else seems to achieve with no issues despite working my ass off to achieve them. It's ****in weird. Things that you would assume for any person on Earth are just givens. Guarantees like vehicle ownership, dating, having friends. Even owning a mattress has somehow eluded me for my adult life. How does someone approaching 40 never own a mattress or car? It's just weird.
Obviously yes, something is wrong with me.

are you searching for your dream job or just a job? i started where i am right now by drilling holes in aluminum pieces all day and now i am the IT guy at that company, pretty much as close as i can get to my dream job here, took about 5 years but got it in the end. not that you will always get that path but maybe you should not reject everything that is not your dream job (and recruiter will find a multiple years gap suspicious already when i had a 2 months gap some were suspicious and one even asked me if i went to prison in that time...)

[Kavik]

How does someone approaching 40 never own a mattress

You can get a decent mattress on Craig's List for the price of a bag of your weed.

And I strongly recommend it, getting a good night's sleep is a joy and not getting it is torture.

A soiled mattress?

[noisyturtle]

How does someone approaching 40 never own a mattress

You can get a decent mattress on Craig's List for the price of a bag of your weed.

And I strongly recommend it, getting a good night's sleep is a joy and not getting it is torture.

A soiled mattress?

Show Image

yes, let's bring bedbugs into the slurry of **** that is my life

[noisyturtle]

My birthday gift from my mom was rendered useless due to me not having a car. I thought I knew all the ways not having a car my entire adult life ruins things, but I never expected it to ruin a birthday present. It's almost all I think about these days, how improved my life would be with the freedom of mobility. It impedes basically every single facet of my life.

****, I didn't want to be sad today

[tp4tissue]

Outside = bad,  all the gud' stuff is inside.

[yui]

My birthday gift from my mom was rendered useless due to me not having a car. I thought I knew all the ways not having a car my entire adult life ruins things, but I never expected it to ruin a birthday present. It's almost all I think about these days, how improved my life would be with the freedom of mobility. It impedes basically every single facet of my life.

****, I didn't want to be sad today

you are in the UK right? aren't cars cheap there? well cheaper than in France i mean The US have it even better it seems with car prices. i understand that your situation is bad, but i am pretty sure that you could find a car for cheap and set a gofundme or paypal link and get your car paid by random strangers online and then with mobility maybe it will be easier to find a job, that is one thing employers do like.

[fanpeople]

My birthday gift from my mom was rendered useless due to me not having a car. I thought I knew all the ways not having a car my entire adult life ruins things, but I never expected it to ruin a birthday present. It's almost all I think about these days, how improved my life would be with the freedom of mobility. It impedes basically every single facet of my life.

****, I didn't want to be sad today

you are in the UK right? aren't cars cheap there? well cheaper than in France i mean The US have it even better it seems with car prices. i understand that your situation is bad, but i am pretty sure that you could find a car for cheap and set a gofundme or paypal link and get your car paid by random strangers online and then with mobility maybe it will be easier to find a job, that is one thing employers do like.

Pretty sure he is in the US of Ay.

[suicidal_orange]

Woke up still suffering from Spring induced depression (rest of year "life is pointless but easy", Spring "there must be a point, that can only come from relationships and you suck at them so will never see it") then reversed into a big white SUV that was parked across the street.  The SUV is fine but the car is damaged badly enough to claim on the insurance and the knock to my competence while already down really made me question why I'm still here.

[tp4tissue]

Woke up still suffering from Spring induced depression (rest of year "life is pointless but easy", Spring "there must be a point, that can only come from relationships and you suck at them so will never see it") then reversed into a big white SUV that was parked across the street.  The SUV is fine but the car is damaged badly enough to claim on the insurance and the knock to my competence while already down really made me question why I'm still here.

m0ar hobbies,  Less Saddo.

[suicidal_orange]

m0ar hobbies,  Less Saddo.

Filling time with anything masks the problem but it doesn't make it go away.  On a more emotionally balanced day/season I would say relationships are the most popular mask because they are the most time consuming thing you can do (especially when they result in children) but it's hard to argue that any hobby isn't enhanced by having someone to share either the experience or results with. When you're down doing something you're bad at (as you inevitably are when starting something new) knowing that even if you get good no-one will care just isn't appealing.

[tp4tissue]

Filling time with anything masks the problem but it doesn't make it go away.  On a more emotionally balanced day/season I would say relationships are the most popular mask because they are the most time consuming thing you can do (especially when they result in children) but it's hard to argue that any hobby isn't enhanced by having someone to share either the experience or results with. When you're down doing something you're bad at (as you inevitably are when starting something new) knowing that even if you get good no-one will care just isn't appealing.

Well, the specialization of modern crafting and technologies have freed us from previously necessary social bonds.

By making almost completely independent survival possible, human interdependence is naturally eroded along with companionship groups. Even the concept of family no longer makes much sense in the modern developed world.

If we must cling to old-world, Maybe sign up for some hobby classes that contain interactivity with other heughmahns.



it seems, dance / painting / cooking / pottery are popular with females,   This is a POST pandemic thing though,

For the next 2-3 years,  Vidya, Alcohol, Xercise,  Maybe Saxophone

[suicidal_orange]

Well, the specialization of modern crafting and technologies have freed us from previously necessary social bonds.

On a practical level you're right no doubt, but my relationship centric spring depression is as consistent as the waking of animals from hibernation - it has to be some natural cycle.

If we must cling to old-world, Maybe sign up for some hobby classes that contain interactivity with other heughmahns.

it seems, dance / painting / cooking / pottery are popular with females,

Wouldn't help, if I was at a class I'd be doing [whatever the class is] ignoring other people and even if I did get talking to an attractive girl I'd "know" that I'm not in the right state psychologically to be in a relationship so wouldn't let it go nowhere.

...

If today wasn't bad enough already the headphones I've used in bed for probably 10 years are broken (the rubber round the headband has cracked off despite still being rubbery not old-hard) and the LED lightbulb in my bedroom just refused to turn on.  Ever think something was trying to send you a message?  If only it weren't talking in riddles...

[tp4tissue]

riddles...

Blues Sax,  perfect for your mindset.

[Kokaloo]

the devils only being able to beat boston

[suicidal_orange]

riddles...

Blues Sax,  perfect for your mindset.

(Attachment Link)

I was surprised to find that I could have bought a saxophone for the money wasted in 30 seconds by being a dumbass.  Unfortunately that's not a suitable hobby to do after midnight though, I work shifts so that's quite important.

Considering quitting the internet and dedicating my time to making my handwriting beautiful - it's cheap, quiet, and ever so slightly more useful in the real world than making music or art.

[fohat.digs]

not a suitable hobby to do after midnight

Shopping while tired is like going to the grocery store while hungry.

[tp4tissue]

midnight though,

You can get The Yamaha YDS-150 Digital Saxofone, it's got volume control + headfonejack.

[suicidal_orange]

You can get The Yamaha YDS-150 Digital Saxofone, it's got volume control + headfonejack.

Wow, a brass instrument with very little brass in it and costing more than the much nicer looking standard ones!

[tp4tissue]

Wow, a brass instrument with very little brass in it and costing more than the much nicer looking standard ones!

Well, it's still technically way cheaper and more convenient an instrument because you don't have to buy 4 different saxophones to cover the different voices,  AND it's lighter, AND you don't have to learn all the difficult wind physicalities as they're done in the tone engine for you, like vibrato. .

[suicidal_orange]

Well, it's still technically way cheaper and more convenient an instrument because you don't have to buy 4 different saxophones to cover the different voices,  AND it's lighter, AND you don't have to learn all the difficult wind physicalities as they're done in the tone engine for you, like vibrato. .

I think I would have preferred being born in a time where cheap and weak/lazy-enabling weren't seen as good things, a time when there was achievemet to be felt for doing anything that wasn't non physical (whoever programmed 'wind physicalities' is probably very proud of their creation even if they can't touch it)

[tp4tissue]

Well, it's still technically way cheaper and more convenient an instrument because you don't have to buy 4 different saxophones to cover the different voices,  AND it's lighter, AND you don't have to learn all the difficult wind physicalities as they're done in the tone engine for you, like vibrato. .

I think I would have preferred being born in a time where cheap and weak/lazy-enabling weren't seen as good things, a time when there was achievemet to be felt for doing anything that wasn't non physical (whoever programmed 'wind physicalities' is probably very proud of their creation even if they can't touch it)

Well, over all, Every person has FINITE life-span.  You may find it useful to have churned butter in your life or baked your own bread ,   But the mind-set should never be ANTI-Modern.   We take the stairways we've been given and apply our personal innovation ELSEWHERE.

Humanity may have an Inifinite Frontier, but there is only a LIMITED 30-40 years of adult-YOU.

[noisyturtle]

Well, it's still technically way cheaper and more convenient an instrument because you don't have to buy 4 different saxophones to cover the different voices,  AND it's lighter, AND you don't have to learn all the difficult wind physicalities as they're done in the tone engine for you, like vibrato. .

I think I would have preferred being born in a time where cheap and weak/lazy-enabling weren't seen as good things, a time when there was achievemet to be felt for doing anything that wasn't non physical (whoever programmed 'wind physicalities' is probably very proud of their creation even if they can't touch it)

What bothers me most is how some people are proud of having no skills, being generally stupid, and not ever having a real job that requires work.
Like they think they gamed the system, but really they just gamed themselves.

[yui]

What bothers me most is how some people are proud of having no skills, being generally stupid, and not ever having a real job that requires work.
Like they think they gamed the system, but really they just gamed themselves.

although to be honest those peoples like live happier lives than us, being stupid is a blessing, you do not see the world crumbling around you

[noisyturtle]

Just spent 2hrs mopping 2in of **** water out om my bathroom. It is literally every single day something of this level happens.
It is clear I am cursed, which seems such an absurd notion, but how can someone have this kind of consistently bad luck on a daily biases for 7 years straight. I thought at first it's just a run of bad things, even after two years I still thought things could turn around. Then each year things get worse and worse, I think I found bottom but there's a brand new level below. Every single year, every single day. And the craziest thing is the more effort and work I put in to reverse or outshine the  bad things happening, the worse my life actually gets. Like if luck were quicksand.
Ask me 5 years ago and I'd tell you luck is a complete fabrication for people unable to enact change in their lives, but it is quite clear luck is a very real thing and probability has nothing to do with it.

I can vividly recall the 3 good days from the past year, and the 5 from the year before. Every detail of why that day  was great, mostly because nothing bad happened. Every other day of my life for the past few years is just a formless grey blur that runs togeather, and I can barely even remember yesterday.

[suicidal_orange]

Mother's day (UK), the day to say thanks to the person who gave you life.  Doesn't make much sense when you'd rather they hadn't but when they just followed natural instincts and appear to have done a reasonable job of something I could never do there's little choice but to play along.

[korrelate]

exactly this text would make the most hilarious mothers/fathers day card ever.      )

[tp4tissue]

exactly this text would make the most hilarious mothers/fathers day card ever.      )

Tp4's mother's day card,   

'You're almost as good as Ergodox, almost, not really, just kidding, Ergodox is Superior to all keyboards,  Comrade to all computer warriors"

/And it has pictures of Cherry mx Bloo the 3 other sides, nothing else.

hahahahahahahha

[Jsza99]

My messed up sleep schedule is bothering me. 

[fohat.digs]

you'd rather they hadn't

I certainly hope that my excellent children don't feel that way. I tried to teach them that life is a roller coaster and that they needed to enjoy the highs and learn from the lows.

Buddhist thoughts on suffering are sometimes useful:

#08 - “The seed of suffering in you may be strong, but don’t wait until you have no more suffering before allowing yourself to be happy.”

#14 - “Pain is certain, suffering is optional.”

#18 - “The greatest miracle is to be alive. We can put an end to our suffering just by realizing that our suffering is not worth suffering for! How many people kill themselves because of rage or despair? In that moment, they do not see the vast happiness that is available.”

[noisyturtle]

Mother's day (UK), the day to say thanks to the person who gave you life.  Doesn't make much sense when you'd rather they hadn't but when they just followed natural instincts and appear to have done a reasonable job of something I could never do there's little choice but to play along.

Thanks for squeezing me out Mom, glad you didn't pass me off as another large terd.
Happy Mother's Day!

[iri]

terd

Slang for buttered; a means of serving cafenated beverages with a buttered glass. This quaint method of drink decanting originates from the outlying areas of Northern Ireland, where it remains popular to this day. The glass is lightly coated with a thin layer of butter before the beverage is added, this gives the drink a fuller flavour and a slightly oily film on the surface of the liquid.

[jamster]

Definite first world problem:

I finally got longer USB C cables to use my weird split keyboard at my desk desk position, but don't want to give up the Realforce which has been my substitute board. Topre... really is that much nicer for me than MX-style.

The new USB cables have been sitting on the desk in front of me for almost a week now.

[yui]

terd

Slang for buttered; a means of serving cafenated beverages with a buttered glass. This quaint method of drink decanting originates from the outlying areas of Northern Ireland, where it remains popular to this day. The glass is lightly coated with a thin layer of butter before the beverage is added, this gives the drink a fuller flavour and a slightly oily film on the surface of the liquid.

that half sound like a french thing... butter+coffee, not the most english looking beverage around and i thought irish did not drink coffee, only whiskey
(i am joking around, i know that there is not only whiskey in ireland, there is also beer )

[Findecanor]

Went to buy a HDMI cable. Came home with a DisplayPort cable. DOH!

[noisyturtle]

Just missed my bus coming home by 2 mins, so I had to stand on the side of the highway for 34 mins at 9:30PM in the rain, dark, and winter cold with no umbrulla or coat. When it finally came I rode to my transfer stop only to watch my transfer ride straight by me as my bus pulled up. So I got to spend ANOTHER 30 mins in the cold winter rain waiting. It took me over 2.5 hours to get 7 miles from work to home. I am 200% miserable and 100% ****ing fuming. I am strongly considering quitting solely based on the bus ride home. I cannot do this every day, I'm too old for this kind of stress and bull****.

[fanpeople]

Just missed my bus coming home by 2 mins, so I had to stand on the side of the highway for 34 mins at 9:30PM in the rain, dark, and winter cold with no umbrulla or coat. When it finally came I rode to my transfer stop only to watch my transfer ride straight by me as my bus pulled up. So I got to spend ANOTHER 30 mins in the cold winter rain waiting. It took me over 2.5 hours to get 7 miles from work to home. I am 200% miserable and 100% ****ing fuming. I am strongly considering quitting solely based on the bus ride home. I cannot do this every day, I'm too old for this kind of stress and bull****.

Wait you got a job?

[noisyturtle]

Just missed my bus coming home by 2 mins, so I had to stand on the side of the highway for 34 mins at 9:30PM in the rain, dark, and winter cold with no umbrulla or coat. When it finally came I rode to my transfer stop only to watch my transfer ride straight by me as my bus pulled up. So I got to spend ANOTHER 30 mins in the cold winter rain waiting. It took me over 2.5 hours to get 7 miles from work to home. I am 200% miserable and 100% ****ing fuming. I am strongly considering quitting solely based on the bus ride home. I cannot do this every day, I'm too old for this kind of stress and bull****.

Wait you got a job?

been working at memetown for a while at below minimum wage and less than 20hrs a week, if you call that a job

[fanpeople]

Just missed my bus coming home by 2 mins, so I had to stand on the side of the highway for 34 mins at 9:30PM in the rain, dark, and winter cold with no umbrulla or coat. When it finally came I rode to my transfer stop only to watch my transfer ride straight by me as my bus pulled up. So I got to spend ANOTHER 30 mins in the cold winter rain waiting. It took me over 2.5 hours to get 7 miles from work to home. I am 200% miserable and 100% ****ing fuming. I am strongly considering quitting solely based on the bus ride home. I cannot do this every day, I'm too old for this kind of stress and bull****.

Wait you got a job?

been working at memetown for a while at below minimum wage and less than 20hrs a week, if you call that a job

Better than nothing.

[fohat.digs]

Blue skies and golden sunshine all along the way. Everyone, have a great day!

Just missed my bus coming home by 2 mins, so I had to stand on the side of the highway for 34 mins at 9:30PM in the rain, dark, and winter cold with no umbrulla or coat. When it finally came I rode to my transfer stop only to watch my transfer ride straight by me as my bus pulled up. So I got to spend ANOTHER 30 mins in the cold winter rain waiting. It took me over 2.5 hours to get 7 miles from work to home. I am 200% miserable and 100% ****ing fuming. I am strongly considering quitting solely based on the bus ride home. I cannot do this every day, I'm too old for this kind of stress and bull****.

[yui]

Just missed my bus coming home by 2 mins, so I had to stand on the side of the highway for 34 mins at 9:30PM in the rain, dark, and winter cold with no umbrulla or coat. When it finally came I rode to my transfer stop only to watch my transfer ride straight by me as my bus pulled up. So I got to spend ANOTHER 30 mins in the cold winter rain waiting. It took me over 2.5 hours to get 7 miles from work to home. I am 200% miserable and 100% ****ing fuming. I am strongly considering quitting solely based on the bus ride home. I cannot do this every day, I'm too old for this kind of stress and bull****.

Wait you got a job?

been working at memetown for a while at below minimum wage and less than 20hrs a week, if you call that a job

Better than nothing.

in some places it is much worse than nothing, as soon as you get a salary you get qualified from some or all reliefs in some places making it worthwhile to not get a job at all, to get paid more...

[Son0fAres]

Just missed my bus coming home by 2 mins, so I had to stand on the side of the highway for 34 mins at 9:30PM in the rain, dark, and winter cold with no umbrulla or coat. When it finally came I rode to my transfer stop only to watch my transfer ride straight by me as my bus pulled up. So I got to spend ANOTHER 30 mins in the cold winter rain waiting. It took me over 2.5 hours to get 7 miles from work to home. I am 200% miserable and 100% ****ing fuming. I am strongly considering quitting solely based on the bus ride home. I cannot do this every day, I'm too old for this kind of stress and bull****.

As someone who had a similar experience at University, 3 hours of commute every day to get to and from school really got to me. After a while I couldn't stand it anymore and decided to move to the dorms as quitting really isn't an option as a student. It helped a lot and I consider managing Time to be the most important aspect of life : we already don't have much of it.

Of course you have a couple options to find another job closer to your home, or move closer to your (or another) job. As others have said maybe sending your resume to have it checked could be beneficial in the number of replies you'll get from potential employers! I'd be glad to review it, for example.

Good luck!

[noisyturtle]

Jessica Walter passing away hit me harder than any of the celeb deaths from the past year. She was so goddamn good at being the waspy snarky sarcastic mother, she was the gold standard of that character type. There's gonna be a huge void to fill for those types of roles now

[fanpeople]

in some places it is much worse than nothing, as soon as you get a salary you get qualified from some or all reliefs in some places making it worthwhile to not get a job at all, to get paid more...

Except when someone is looking to get back into the workforce. It is better to have an active reference from a current/very recent employer as opposed to sitting on welfare for 3 years and having to explain the employment gap (where many won't even bother interviewing anyway). Even a ****ty job can be a ticket to that next interview.

It really depends on a person's plan. Just getting out of the house can be good for mental health.

[Thoughtfork]

I'm bothered that my friends play minecraft on a realm.  It just seems like there are so many reasons why realms are just not as good as server hosting.