I'll start:
I was telling my wife about my new thick key caps. She said, "The only thick thing around here is you." And I said, "Hey, thanks—I think you're pretty sexy too."
RGB lighting makes it easier to find your keyboard if you've been typing so long that your hair has grown down over your eyes.
Trying to be a super-fast typist is like trying to be a super-fast dancer—except that with typing, forget about ever having a partner.
They use random sentences at typing contents because everyone else is in on the joke, and it's funny watching people spend their time like that.
I've started making artisan keycaps that look like keyboards, with tiny little artisan keycaps on them. I'd like to be sure there's really a point to this whole artisan-keycap thing before I need to buy an electron microscope.
When you go to keyboard meets, are you actually required not to have a girlfriend, or is it just a massive coincidence?
I worked at a software company where everyone competed for the flashiest RGB setup. We had to stop—people kept walking in, thinking it was a dance club.
My friends and I were at the beach last night and thought we saw some UFOs, but it was just some RGB seagulls.
My wife was complaining about the noise I was making bottoming out. "You must be thinking of someone else," I said, "We don't do that sort of thing."
It wasn't nearly as fun back in the '70s, when we collected mechanical pencils.
I told my wife I couldn't vacuum the house because I had to record a video typing demo. She said, "Go ahead and video yourself vacuuming, if that's what turns you on."
I dreamed I invented a keyboard switch that was linear, clicky and tactile. When I woke up, everyone's cars had been replaced by transporters.
I'm starting to think my MKs are bugging my wife... She's started putting rocks in the dryer, and last night she set off a string of firecrackers in the living room.
What did one key say to they other?
"Let's go to the spacebar and get lubricated."
