OK, so although it did seem better, it was still freaking out every now and then which was annoying me a lot because I'm trying to do more stenography with Plover and I need those thumbkeys to work...
And, I now officially have the weirdest keyboard around...
Two days ago, I installed a MOSFET (basically a transistor - an electrically-controlled switch) which is controlled by the pin that controls left led 1 from the MCP23018, so when my invisible key is "pressed", it will auto-jumpstart itself by lighting the led, and shorting that line to 5V.
I had to do a bit of research to learn how MOSFET's worked, but they're exactly what I needed for this to work. Originally I was planning to use a relay but wanted to have a solution that has no moving parts, lol!
Also the fact that it's about the size of a grain of rice is good as well.
The mosfet that I used was 18c (I had to buy a minimum of 10 though, which really raised the budget). So far it seems to be working perfectly. I'll give it a more permanent, nicer looking installation once I'm sure everything is good. I've got it set to put a message out to hid_listen when it switches layers and auto-jumpstarts itself, and of course it hasn't had a siezure in the two days since I did the install, but I'm confident it will work.