Once upon a time, in an appalachian hollow far far away, bladamson was a but a young thing, a mere shadow of the odd creature which he was to become.
At the time, the creature responsible for spawning this creature known as bladamson had the ugliest green 1968 Ford pickup truck known to man. Or at least the parts of it that were not covered with rust were green, though that may have just been some sort of moss or mold or something.
Anyway, one night this particular creature was out spotlighting deer. When he returned to the Childhood Lair of Bladamson, he forgot to turn off said spotlight (there may have been some alcohol involved in this process).
That night, the creatures within the Lair were awakened by a strange flickering orange light coming from outside. Up sprang the creatures, and they rushed outside to see what was amiss...
And lo, the 1968 Ford Pickup Truck was all aflame. With a mighty "Yee Haw!", the patriarch of the clan leapt into his burning pickup truck, so as to pull it away from the Lair, so that the lair would not burn... Then, upon his leaping out, several buckets of water were thrown upon both himself and his flaming chariot.
And then we went back to bed. And the truck smouldered.
In the morning, the creatures gathered around to survey the damage. Melted parts were pried away with crowbars, and the charred remains of the seat were pulled out. The pedals and gearshift knob were burned away. But strangely enough, the thing still ran.
The patriarch of the clan then placed an upended 5 gallon bucket upon a 50 lb bag of dog food inside of his chariot and declared it a "new seat".
We rode around in that thing like that for several months.
It was very unergonomic. Even moreso than the cheapo $60 executive chair upon which I am sitting now.
And they all lived happily ever after.
The End.
