Wish I'd have seen this thread in January, or maybe it wouldn't have made a difference. I just read through the whole thing right after submitting my order for an Ellipse F77. Seems like a lot of people have used this thread as a bit of a confessional, as well as an advice and support thread, and it's been somewhat enlightening reading it all. So I'm gonna write my confession and maybe it'll spur a change in me, and we can heap it on this pile here with the rest.
My spending has spun out of control over the last six months. I already have credit card debt, student loans remaining (I'm 38 ffs) and overdrafts on two bank accounts. It's thousands but it's not like oh **** bankruptcy here I come. But I certainly don't feel 'secure'. I also have a partner who earns hardly anything and a 3yo daughter, so I'm not just responsible for me. This year I've earned a fair bit more than usual (than ever, actually) and really should have been using this opportunity to clear that debt, because I'm freelance and there's no guarantee this work is gonna continue. But I'm crap with money. Always have been. So instead I built a high end PC and I've poured money into keyboards. It may be crass but I'm gonna list what I've bought to illustrate the level of spending I'm talking about and give some perspective.
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Leopold FC660m
Matrix Abel
Planck on Massdrop
AMJ40 w/ alu case
Lightsaver
TX1800v2
Filco TKL
LZ-St
F77 from Ellipse
Fully modded HHKB
DSA Granite
GMK 9009 (all kits aftermarket)
DEVLIN SKIDATA
GMK YURI
GMK Oblivion
GMK Miami Nights
GMK Solarised Dark
Aerokeys pink topre mods
Extra stuff like a Hakko soldering iron, some Artisans, packs of Zealios, Phantom PCB, etc...
90% of that stuff is in the last two months. Because I know myself and I knew I'd end up there eventually, I decided to go straight for the customs after I got the Leopold, but I'm not rationalising that I've saved money by doing that. Maybe I'm attempting to speed through the whole process of trying everything and finding the thing I like so I can move on. But endgame is a myth, as everyone knows. I have rationalised that I'll find 2 or 3 boards that I love and sell off the rest, and get maybe 80% of the cost back, but I'm not great at getting rid of nice stuff, so we'll see. I am at least trying to sell the Leopold and Filco right now, and getting rid of the artisans.
I do a lot of mental acrobatics to justify purchases, and there's certainly personal issues with my work, family and just life in general which affect my reckless spending. I've given up a lot of stuff in the last couple of years and I think somehow keyboards have come in and filled some of the hole left behind. I've gone with it because nothing has really grabbed my attention so much in a long time and it's been nice just following it without analysing too much. I've learned
a lot, for sure, which is positive. Basic soldering, electronics, coding, touch typing... all completely new to me, and very interesting and fun to learn. And my god every single time I sit down at my desk and put my fingers on the HHKB or the GMK caps on the Zealios it feels good. It feels
so good. But the spending... it's too much. My partner doesn't know how much this stuff costs (she thought the Abel probably came to about £100, and I didn't correct her), and when the new boards on order start showing up a conversation about all of it is inevitable. Will I lie about it all, or 'fess up and tell her I've spent thousands on this stuff? I don't know but I feel the pressure and stress of that near-future horror everyday. I wonder if it's all part of a mid-life crisis cranking into gear.
Hopefully by writing all this out here it will motivate me to change. I have plenty of stuff to be getting on with now, boards and caps on order, so I hope I can chill on the spending. I've resisted a couple of boards I've really liked, and felt the relief when the GB period has ended, which is some small victory for common sense.
It's quite obvious there's a fairly common pattern in this hobby, and this forum, so in an attempt to expedite my journey through the stages, I'm shifting my attention from classifieds and group buys to off topic. After reading a lot of old threads it's evident the community is pretty ****ing great here and if you can resist the hype and FOMO it seems like a fine way to hang out online.
tl;dr - Same ****, different guy.