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geekhack Community => Other Geeky Stuff => Topic started by: Shawn Stanford on Fri, 29 October 2010, 20:48:17

Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: Shawn Stanford on Fri, 29 October 2010, 20:48:17: ...who will find this as totally wicked as I do:
(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/10/29/article-1324805-0BD3138C000005DC-146_306x375.jpg) (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1324805/Haynes-publishes-owners-manual-Star-Treks-U-S-S-Enterprise.html)
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: Ekaros on Fri, 29 October 2010, 21:44:56: I'm more of TNG and DS9 generation, but that's is quite nifty...
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: Fwiffo on Fri, 29 October 2010, 22:24:15: My sister got me this for Christmas when I was still driving a 486; maybe 15 years ago?

(http://geekhack.org/attachment.php?attachmentid=13233&d=1288409009)
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: Lanx on Sat, 30 October 2010, 00:36:35: (http://img835.imageshack.us/img835/6958/maptotal.jpg) (http://img835.imageshack.us/i/maptotal.jpg/)

full pic at this link
http://www.rpgplanet.com/starwars/articles/swi/map-total.jpg

I don't prefer either SW or ST, I know enough about both series to get me by on dinner conversations about either (but nothing deep!), but i'll say SW has ST beat cuz ST has ZERO games that are even as good as SW worst games... pretty much SW wins.
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: Shawn Stanford on Sat, 30 October 2010, 05:54:44: It's not about the games, it's about the chicks.

(http://www.toplessrobot.com/yvonne_craig_as_slave_girl_marta.jpg)
(http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTV84GNtjHDvZv51XeFNKWEBc-ILldEcK_e4kh-_WdIVMeVimc&t=1&usg=__zq5qEK2PYWFT5R2wZ2yK_4GhmGg=)
(http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQRcFk7zbxhhfu7j6E5iwJr8O3nVfW7-9KTMvn_KW5-036sBgA&t=1&usg=__Uwv6lq2i-v4BDf3jzeictpig7yE=)
(http://
[img]http://www.fdevault.com/ars/images/yeoman_rand.jpg)
(http://www.fastcopyinc.com/orionpress/sitegraphics/articles/WhoMournsSlate1Final.jpg)
(http://therestrainingorder.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/2109932314_0db807388a.jpg)
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6xoH967aC00/Sw3ybRuoH7I/AAAAAAAAVek/J0ybTf855A0/s400/cat036b.jpg)
(http://www.radix.net/~bbrown/pictures/t_garr/tg_sttos.jpg)
etc., etc., etc...

Trek TOS FTW!
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: Rajagra on Sat, 30 October 2010, 14:58:23: Quote from: Microsoft Windows, sometime in the future
You don't need one of those, I do just fine with one of these:

P.S. Kirk>Picard.
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: ricercar on Sat, 30 October 2010, 15:24:41: Quote from: ripster;240483
Now I'm like this.
Show Image
(http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/action/large/213a262.jpg)

You're in the middle?
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: chimera15 on Sat, 30 October 2010, 17:27:33: diy starship repair? roflol
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: chimera15 on Sat, 30 October 2010, 17:30:12: Quote from: Ekaros;240374
I'm more of TNG and DS9 generation, but that's is quite nifty...

According to the article it's not just the 1701.
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: kriminal on Sat, 30 October 2010, 18:04:19: Quote from: Rajagra;240552
P.S. Kirk>Picard.

pffft picard ****s on kirks face
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: Rajagra on Sat, 30 October 2010, 18:11:34: Quote from: kriminal;240577
pffft

Ha ha! Trolledya.
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: Shawn Stanford on Sat, 30 October 2010, 21:38:56: Quote from: kriminal;240577
pffft picard ****s on kirks face

1. When Data died, Picard had a funeral. When Spock died, Kirk reconstituted the body, forced it’s soul back in, and even got him laid along the way.

2. When Picard senses that Wesley is having emotional problems he sits down and talks with him about it. When Kirk sensed that Charlie X was having emotional problems he took him to the gym and threw him around on the mats until he got over it.

3. When Picard went back in time he brought back Data’s head. When Kirk went back in time he brought back a blonde.

4. Picard’s Enterprise was destroyed by a couple of Klingon chicks while he was stranded on a desert planet. Kirk’s Enterprise was destroyed when he blew up a crew of Klingons, stole their ship, and resurrected Spock from the dead.

5. Kirk has caused computers to self-destruct by out-thinking them on three separate occasions.

6. When Picard was in the Academy he got stabbed in the heart. When Kirk was in the Academy he beat the unbeatable Kobyoshi Maru scenario and bagged Carol Marcus in his spare time.

7. When Sisko met Picard he told him he hated him. When Sisko met Kirk he got his autograph.

8. Kirk does not play the flute.

9. Picard is from France.

10. When Picard has a problem he talks to Guinan about it. When Kirk has a problem he shoots it.

11. When Kirk screams it echoes across the entire planet.

12. When Kirk blew up the Enterprise, Starfleet built him another one and had it ready by the time he got home.

13. Kirk collects antique guns. Picard collects antique matrioshka nesting dolls.

14. Kirk chastises omni-powerful super beings for not being polite to women.

15. Kirk sword fights someone on a regular basis.

16. Kirk’s Enterprise did not have a day care.

17. Kirk once ordered Scotty to fire a photon torpedo on his position and then he dodged out of the way so it hit the alien he was fighting.

18. Kirk has a violently deadly disease in his blood but he doesn’t let it slow him down any.

19. When it’s time for shore leave Kirk goes rock climbing and drinks whiskey. Picard wears nut smashing banana hammock speedos and reads by the pool.

20. Picard’s name is known and respected throughout Klingon space. Kirk’s name is cursed and vilified.

21. The only Klingon serving on Kirk’s bridge would be a dead one.

22. Kirk jumps horses in his spare time. Picard owns a fish.

23. Kirk would never allow an “acting ensign” to lock out his command codes.

24. Picard quotes Shakespeare for fun. Kirk quotes Shakespeare to intimidate his enemies.

25. Kirk’s jump kick projects 650 pounds of blunt force.

26. Kirk once made a cannon that shot diamonds.

27. Kirk defies superior alien beings on an almost daily basis.

28. When the evil aliens use a stun ray on the crew, Kirk always stays conscious for a minimum of 15 seconds longer than everyone else.

29. Kirk is on a first name basis with every single admiral in Starfleet.

30. Kirk once said: “You’re the Captain’s woman, till he says you're not.”

31. When Sarek mind melded with Picard, Picard cried a lot. When Sarek mind melded with Kirk, Kirk decided to hijack the Enterprise and bring Spock back from the dead.

32. Kirk can shoulder roll at 127 miles per hour.

33. Picard’s engineer wears goofy wrap-around sunglasses. Kirk’s engineer wears a kilt and can drink you under the table.

34. If Picard’s engineer has a headache it’s because he wore his Visor for too long. If Kirk’s engineer has a headache it’s because he has a hangover.

35. Kirk looks good in sideburns. Really good.

36. Picard drinks tea. Kirk drinks Saurian Brandy straight from the bottle.

37. Kirk mocks Federation bureaucrats that he doesn’t like and then proves that their aids are Klingon spies, just to make the point.

38. Kirk once became an Indian god with the power to resurrect the dead.

39. Kirk can beat a Vulcan at chess.

40. Kirk’s love affairs extend not only across space but across time as well.

41. Kirk’s dress uniform does not actually look like a dress.

42. Kirk looks good in a ripped shirt, and he knows it.

43. Kirk repopulated the Earth’s once extinct humpbacked whale species.

44. When Picard wants the ship to go faster he calls down to engineering and asks to go faster. When Kirk wants the ship to go faster he sling-shots it around the sun.

45. When Klingons invaded Picard’s Enterprise he carefully neutralized them. When Klingons invaded Kirk’s Enterprise he had a massive sword fight with them.

46. Kirk has fought evil duplicates of himself on numerous occasions, always with screaming involved.

47. Kirk’s greatest nemesis was the genetically superior ruler of over a quarter of the Earth. Picard’s greatest nemesis likes to dress like him and occasionally cause inconvenience.

48. Kirk has punched out at least one member of over three thousand known alien races.

49. Kirk would never allow his first officer to get more tail than he does.

50. No matter what world Picard goes to, Kirk was there first and probably has an illegitimate child somewhere on the planet.

51. Everyone knows the phrase “Beam me up, Scotty!” The phrase, “Energize whenever you are ready, Mr. La Forge,” doesn’t exactly have the same notoriety.

52. Picard’s first officer is named after a bathroom code.

53. Kirk once yelled, “No blah-blah-blah! No blah-blah-blah!” and made it sound important.

54. Kirk’s hand phaser is sleek and sexy. Picard’s hand phaser looks like a Hoover dirt devil.

55. When Kirk wants to talk to the Enterprise he flips open his communicator dramatically. When Picard wants to talk to the Enterprise he has to tweak his own nipple.

56. Kirk’s youth was spent doing back breaking work on a farm in Iowa. Picard’s youth was spent squishing grapes with his toes in France.

57. Kirk fought the Greek god Apollo. And won.

58. The women on Picard’s ship wear long pants. On Kirk’s ship, miniskirts are mandatory.

59. Kirk’s middle name is Tiberius.

60. It runs in the family: Picard’s brother died trapped in a fire. Kirk’s brother died fighting swarms of alien invaders.

61. When Data hijacked the Enterprise, Picard was helpless to stop him. When Spock hijacked the Enterprise Kirk fought him to the death.

62. Kirk’s medical officer prescribes hard liquor as a cure all.

63. Kirk has heavy calluses on his right index finger from pressing the trigger on his phaser so many times.

64. When Kirk gets punched in the face he just wipes the blood off his lip and looks at it with a smirk.

65. Picard once wore formal Klingon robes for a Klingon ceremony. If Kirk ever wore Klingon robes it would be because he took them off a dead Klingon.

66. Kirk chops his own firewood.

67. Kirk once led a Mafia take over.

68. Kirk would have slept with Beverly Crusher by episode two.

69. In the episode “The Trouble With Tribbles” the tribbles bred at such a fast rate not because of instinct but because they were in the presence of Kirk.

70. When Deanna Troi talks about what she’s feeling, Picard listens carefully and thanks her for her input. Kirk would have called it “pillow talk.”

71. The emotional content level of Kirk’s speeches is an average of 782 times higher than the level of Picard’s speeches. If he’s talking about revolution, exploration or diversity, it is 1,089 times higher.
72. When Picard has an alien delegation on board he invites them to a quiet dinner. When Kirk has an alien delegation on board he gets plowed on Romulan Ale.

73. Kirk is familiar with 20th century slang.

74. The main computer on Kirk’s Enterprise once hit on him.

75. Kirk faced off against Wyatt Earp at the O.K. Corral and won.

76. Picard is a Frenchman with an English accent.

77. Kirk only requires thirty-two minutes of sleep a day.

78. Kirk eats multicolored nutrition squares because he’s too busy fighting stuff to eat a normal meal.

79. Kirk destroyed 672 uniform tunics during the Enterprise’s first five year mission.

80. 347 of those tunics were destroyed during combat with Klingons. The rest were destroyed by various women.

81. When Picard fought the Borg he got assimilated. When Kirk fought the Borg he blew up their home planet.

82. When Kirk was sent to the prison camp on Rura Penthe he hadn’t bathed or changed his clothes in days and was wearing animal carcasses for warmth but Iman still threw herself at him the moment he arrived.

83. When Abraham Lincoln appeared floating in space in front of the Enterprise, Kirk didn’t even blink.

84. Kirk can break out of any jail cell that is located anywhere in time or space within one hour. Within one half hour if Spock is with him.

85. When Kirk disguised himself as a Romulan, he stole a cloaking device and used it to escape to Federation space. When Picard disguised himself as a Romulan he ate some soup and then got captured.

86. Denny Crane.

87. 87% of all Klingon opera is about the singer’s desire to kill Kirk.

88. The other 13% of all Klingon opera is about the singer’s desire to be killed by Kirk in glorious battle.

89. Kirk once taught an emotionless female android how to love. Then he broke up with her.

90. Kirk’s evil twin womanized and swilled brandy. Picard’s evil twin liked to have his scalp massaged by Ron Perlman.

91. Even though they haven’t existed for hundreds of years, Kirk can still sort of drive a stick shift.

92. Kirk never dressed in green tights and pretended to be Robin Hood, and if he had, someone would have paid for it.

93. Even though Kirk often pauses between words, no one ever dares interrupt him.

94. Kirk went to the center of the universe, met god and wasn’t impressed.

95. When Kirk says “boldly go,” he means it.

96. "KHHHAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!!!"

97. Kirk blatantly disobeys one out of every five Starfleet orders just to remind them who’s really minding the store.

98. Starfleet estimates that the average Klingon has a 36% chance of being killed by Kirk at some point in their lifetime, regardless of their age, profession, location or social status.

99. Kirk once kicked a Klingon into the molten core of an exploding planet.

100. Style: Kirk did it first, he did it better and he did it wearing gold velour and Beatle-boots with a space girl on each arm.
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: msiegel on Sat, 30 October 2010, 21:58:04: ha! i'm watching Balance of Terror *right now* XD
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: Lanx on Sat, 30 October 2010, 23:36:35: How about we just say post startrek career.
Professor X > Priceline mascot.
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: msiegel on Sat, 30 October 2010, 23:42:29
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: zefrer on Sun, 31 October 2010, 06:08:45: I like Big Bang Theory's explanation:

"Original series over Next Generation but Picard over Kirk".
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: Shawn Stanford on Sun, 31 October 2010, 07:32:26: You can't have TOS without Kirk...
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: Shawn Stanford on Sun, 31 October 2010, 07:34:06: Quote from: Lanx;240652
How about we just say post startrek career.
Professor X > Priceline mascot.

Pish...

[special][/special]
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: Shawn Stanford on Sun, 31 October 2010, 07:34:42: How do you do those nice, neat YouTube embeds?
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: WhiteRice on Sun, 31 October 2010, 12:32:01: Quote
68. Kirk would have slept with Beverly Crusher by episode two.

lol
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: Rajagra on Sun, 31 October 2010, 13:43:57: Quote from: Shawn Stanford;240636
68. Kirk would have slept with Beverly Crusher by episode two.

Even after putting her son Wesley in a red shirt and getting him killed in episode one!
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: Voixdelion on Sun, 31 October 2010, 16:11:00: "76. Picard is a Frenchman with an English accent."

Huh, you know I never really noticed that but that IS kind of weird.

But Kirk had no... finesse. He might as well have BEEN Klingon! And he had to reincarnate Spock because without a higher logic to back up all of his impulsive and rash behavior and save him from himself he would have been in deep dung. Picard had way more brawn in the brain. Kirk would just have slept with Luoxana Troi and likely never escaped her after while Picard had enough restraint, for greater good, to behave around a woman who would be the perfect complement to him by design. Picard was Kirk with humility and wisdom and manners. Kirk was a self centered and arrogant caveman, he could not have dealt with Q givin his limited toolset, since his primary weapon was often his tool. Good thing there were so many green women out there.

But the ultimate awesome was truly Data. And Seven of Nine. And I think the best doctor was the hologram.

What do you think Janeway et al vs Kirk n' crew - who wins?
Or just Janeway v. Kirk - Does his Masculine charm work or does she deflate his ego?

Edit>> actually the ultimate proof that Picard>Kirk: I'd like to see Kirk pull off what he did WITHOUT HIS HAIR!! I can't even force myself to fully picture that... But I think Picard would have a shot with Janeway.

Oh yeah - and then there is this: "Denny Crane -Alan Shore = 0"
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: Voixdelion on Sun, 31 October 2010, 16:27:31: Quote from: msiegel;240655

What is this from? Never seen it before, but its hilarious.

"I remember EVERYTHING..."

LOL~
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: chimera15 on Sun, 31 October 2010, 16:59:20: Quote from: Rajagra;240552
P.S. Kirk>Picard.

Janeway>Kirk>Picard>Archer>Sisko

Really though the only count as far as TV goes is who had the longest run.

In that case it'd be Picard=Janeway=Sisko>Archer>Kirk.

lol

The other of course would be movie count.

Kirk>Picard

Of course if you go by box office, and don't count that last travesty of a movie that for some ungodly reason was 3 times more popular than the highest grossing star trek film before.

Picard>Kirk
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: ricercar on Mon, 01 November 2010, 01:32:49: Quote from: Shawn Stanford;240636
1. When Data died, Picard had a funeral. When Spock died, Kirk reconstituted the body, forced it’s soul back in, and even got him laid along the way.

...

100. Style: Kirk did it first, he did it better and he did it wearing gold velour and Beatle-boots with a space girl on each arm.

Did you really write that? Amazing.

So ... Kirk > Chuck Norris?
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: Shawn Stanford on Mon, 01 November 2010, 06:28:51: No, I didn't. It's been floating around the internets for years. The comparison between ST:TNG and The Love Boat is also funny as hell...
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: Lanx on Mon, 01 November 2010, 16:09:45: Quote from: Rajagra;240798
Even after putting her son Wesley in a red shirt and getting him killed in episode one!

*Sigh*
we have to do this to him for ppl that watch "The Guild"
he's pretty much just as annoying in "The Guild" as he was in TNG.
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: Earth Worm Jim on Mon, 01 November 2010, 16:50:43: Earth Worm Jim has 'Liked' this. :-)
Title: I know there are other Trek geeks on GH...
Post by: chimera15 on Thu, 04 November 2010, 16:43:15: Quote from: Lanx;241268
*Sigh*
we have to do this to him for ppl that watch "The Guild"
he's pretty much just as annoying in "The Guild" as he was in TNG.

He was playing an *******, so he would be annoying. Have you seen the new season? I guess it's not going to be on youtube? He was pretty funny in some of the other Greg Benson/Mediocre Films stuff.

He also responded to several of my comments on youtube personally, so I have to say I'm a fan. We're also almost exactly the same age. lol