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geekhack Community => Keyboards => Topic started by: LEGITBALLIN on Mon, 02 January 2012, 18:19:09

Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: LEGITBALLIN on Mon, 02 January 2012, 18:19:09
Ok, so i use my computer naked and when i was playing starcraft i had to poop really bad but i finished the game, at that point i couldn't hold it and when i turned around and accidently pooped on my keyboard its diareah so i don't really know how to clean it up because it is not a solid piece. PLEASE HELP I AM SERIOUS!!!!!!
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Deverica Wolf on Mon, 02 January 2012, 18:44:17
Is that the face you made when the incident occurred?

That isn't fruit juice...you need to sanitize that *****. I am interested in hearing how to do so.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: whiskerBox on Mon, 02 January 2012, 18:47:23
[ATTACH=CONFIG]36485[/ATTACH]
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: hazeluff on Mon, 02 January 2012, 18:47:36
I'm happy you got your priorities straight.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: bavman on Mon, 02 January 2012, 18:47:57
Use pee
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: LEGITBALLIN on Mon, 02 January 2012, 18:53:45
God damn i tried cleaning and the poop got in the switch and it is hard to press down.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: whiskerBox on Mon, 02 January 2012, 18:57:41
your tongue is probably the best tool you have for the job. so go eat some **** and have a friend film it so we can put it the wiki

[ATTACH=CONFIG]36486[/ATTACH]
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: demik on Mon, 02 January 2012, 18:57:45
consistent troll is consistent
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Deverica Wolf on Mon, 02 January 2012, 19:01:14
[ATTACH=CONFIG]36487[/ATTACH]
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: LEGITBALLIN on Mon, 02 January 2012, 19:07:11
Wow i try to post a legitimate thread and i get trolled thanks geekhack!!!!! ( this should be in all caps but geekhackwont let me)
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: demik on Mon, 02 January 2012, 19:17:08
trolling trolls is the only way to defeat a troll
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: REVENGE on Mon, 02 January 2012, 19:18:51
Nice, turn Cherry Blues into Browns into Blacks into Reds.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: weenis on Mon, 02 January 2012, 19:24:40
Amazing thread.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: LEGITBALLIN on Mon, 02 January 2012, 19:29:36
I guess thats why you call them cherry browns
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Lamaboi on Mon, 02 January 2012, 19:50:31
Quote from: LEGITBALLIN;482065
I guess thats why you call them cherry browns

(http://thelama.bullet-head.net/Stuff/Reaction%20GIFs/niccage.gif)
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: IvanIvanovich on Mon, 02 January 2012, 19:52:24
Best laugh I've had all year! GLWSCU.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Ekaros on Mon, 02 January 2012, 20:06:23
Quote from: lysol;482072
Best laugh I've had all year! GLWSCU.

You have had a very boring new year indeed I wish it will be more entertaining in the future ;D
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: fohat.digs on Mon, 02 January 2012, 20:17:14
Come on, this is simple mathematics.

What type of keyboard is it? * easy to clean / hard to clean * valuable / cheap *

Is it rare? What is it worth?

I might be inclined to harvest the keys, sanitize them with bleach, and toss the board, unless it could be disassembled and thoroughly disinfected.

On the other hand, you could tell your friends about it,then NO ONE would borrow or steal it from you, no matter how desirable it is!
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: jkercado on Mon, 02 January 2012, 20:22:33
Oh ****.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Findecanor on Mon, 02 January 2012, 20:30:17
Baaaad idea to walk around naked when you have diarrhea ... **** happens.

Disassemble completely. Clean with bleach. Clean the PCB with lots alcohol and let it dry for a long time.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Deverica Wolf on Mon, 02 January 2012, 20:38:24
Do you own a Filco? GOOD TIME TO GET ONE!

Welcome to geekhack.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Greenbean on Mon, 02 January 2012, 20:40:41
**** on it some more.

It's the best way to get the most out of your MX Browns.

P.S Doing this will also help you create a keyboard that looks like a Filco Camo.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: c0rbin on Mon, 02 January 2012, 21:26:06
Didn't happen...
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: mmmty on Mon, 02 January 2012, 21:54:07
Put it up for sale or trade - problem solved.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: reaper on Mon, 02 January 2012, 22:12:34
^ Good luck finding a buyer after that. lol  I know I wouldn't want it. =P
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: sordna on Mon, 02 January 2012, 22:31:43
Wow, this beats OCN people barfing on their keyboards!
So, what make/model was the keyboard, you didn't say.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: REVENGE on Mon, 02 January 2012, 22:34:27
Quote from: sordna;482143
Wow, this beats OCN people barfing on their keyboards!
So, what make/model was the keyboard, you didn't say.
It was NOT a Noppoo.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: pitashen on Tue, 03 January 2012, 01:17:50
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_DCDvGVLEjvg/S8KHKLvvbwI/AAAAAAAAAJ0/af3Wl_6Zslo/s1600/11981_2_9_2008_10_43_00_PM_-_oh_****-759720.jpg)
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Oqsy on Tue, 03 January 2012, 01:24:59
(http://www.lowbird.com/data/images/2010/08/photobucket-bull****-ten-points-from-gryffindor.gif)

this place keeps getting weirder...
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Tony on Tue, 03 January 2012, 02:18:02
Such ****load topics happens from time to time. OT shows poor story telling skills and imaginations however...
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Deverica Wolf on Tue, 03 January 2012, 03:47:22
Quote from: reaper;482133
^ Good luck finding a buyer after that. lol  I know I wouldn't want it. =P

He can just lie and say it's a chocolate keyboard. YUM YUM! :pop2:
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: insilica on Tue, 03 January 2012, 04:19:33
bizzare, otherwise no comment. I hate to encourage trolls!
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: LEGITBALLIN on Tue, 03 January 2012, 06:37:30
It was a das silent i cleaned up most of it but kind of pooled at the bottom of the keyboard and the spacebar some modifiers and some of the z-m line keys dont work, it also smells a bit bad, i might put it up for sale or try and send it back ill see.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: pitashen on Tue, 03 January 2012, 07:27:10
GL selling your crappy board.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Saviant on Tue, 03 January 2012, 08:01:48
I doubt warranty would accept it or anyone would buy a keyboard in that crappy of condition.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: keyboardlover on Tue, 03 January 2012, 08:34:25
How much u want for it?

Rappoo kicked in yo!
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Deverica Wolf on Tue, 03 January 2012, 08:52:25
Quote from: LEGITBALLIN;482256
it also smells a bit bad, i might put it up for sale or try and send it back ill see.

On, come on now...courtesy flush! :tsk:
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: TheSoulhunter on Tue, 03 January 2012, 08:56:38
It's easy, simply fill the board with dung beetles...

Quote
Most dung beetles search for dung using their sensitive sense of smell. Some of the smaller species simply attach themselves to the dung-providers to wait for their reward. After capturing the dung, a dung beetle will roll it, following a straight line despite all obstacles. Sometimes dung beetles will try to steal the dung ball from another beetle, so the dung beetles have to move rapidly away from a dung pile once they have rolled their ball to prevent it from being stolen. Dung beetles can roll up to 50 times their weight. Male Onthophagus taurus beetles can pull 1,141 times their own body weight: the equivalent of an average person pulling six double-decker buses full of people.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: squarebox on Tue, 03 January 2012, 09:06:04
I believe medical maggots will do a better job as they can get to small corners and also produce anti bacterial slime as well.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: iamnox on Tue, 03 January 2012, 09:49:46
Quote from: hazeluff;482045
I'm happy you got your priorities straight.


I seriously just laughed out loud. Good day sir.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: iamnox on Tue, 03 January 2012, 09:50:22
Quote from: bavman;482046
Use pee


I seriously just laughed out loud. Good day sir.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: iBro on Tue, 03 January 2012, 09:52:10
2/10
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Findecanor on Tue, 03 January 2012, 09:57:11
Quote from: Greenbean;482093
**** on it some more.

It's the best way to get the most out of your MX Browns.

I'm afraid that would give the keys a mushy feeling.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: keyboardlover on Tue, 03 January 2012, 09:57:40
V-tec crapped in yo!

V-turd kicked in yo!
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: sordna on Tue, 03 January 2012, 11:42:31
Quote from: LEGITBALLIN;482256
It was a das silent i cleaned up most of it but kind of pooled at the bottom of the keyboard and the spacebar some modifiers and some of the z-m line keys dont work, it also smells a bit bad, i might put it up for sale or try and send it back ill see.


I don't think you should sell it without a disclosure. Whatever you do, you should submerge the entire keyboard in alcohol or something overnight to disinfect the whole thing. If you dry it well before re-using it, it should survive fine, and it may even clear up the bad keys.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: dimoniy on Tue, 03 January 2012, 11:51:59
Congrats! Now you know how are the better of rubber dome types are made
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: guilleguillaume on Tue, 03 January 2012, 12:06:03
You should try this:

(http://i.imgur.com/rvgIn.gif)

Then if doesn't work try that:

(http://i.imgur.com/HjpfC.gif)

Gifs made by Ripster
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: keyboardlover on Tue, 03 January 2012, 12:08:21
I don't believe that the OP actually did it.

I suspect that the Giant Man (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/29/north-korea-giant-man_n_1175175.html) is the REAL poopetrator.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: REVENGE on Tue, 03 January 2012, 15:14:53
This thread stinks.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Oqsy on Thu, 05 January 2012, 03:28:18
Wow. All these serious responses worry me almost as much as the fictional OP.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Tony on Thu, 05 January 2012, 03:40:34
Such ****load topics makes geekhack forum interesting. A bit stinky forum, though.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: pitashen on Thu, 05 January 2012, 03:41:26
plz don't bump this thread up. Leave it alone. THX
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: WhiteFireDragon on Thu, 05 January 2012, 04:22:18
Quote from: LEGITBALLIN;482036
Ok, so i use my computer naked and when i was playing starcraft i had to poop really bad but i finished the game, at that point i couldn't hold it and when i turned around and accidently pooped on my keyboard its diareah so i don't really know how to clean it up because it is not a solid piece. PLEASE HELP I AM SERIOUS!!!!!!


use reverse psychology, so that means poop on it some more. but if that doesn't work, just eat your keyboard
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: REVENGE on Thu, 05 January 2012, 04:25:44
Two Chicks, One Keyboard
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: mbc on Thu, 05 January 2012, 06:33:34
So i have to make sure never to buy a keyboard from you.

BTW: TOO MUCH INFORMATION
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: FinancialWar on Thu, 05 January 2012, 07:19:21
picture please.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: shrap on Thu, 05 January 2012, 13:44:00
Well thank you for guaranteeing I will never buy any more used keyboards, from anyone anywhere.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: scriz on Thu, 05 January 2012, 13:47:38
Quote from: bavman;482046
Use pee


x2
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: mmmty on Thu, 05 January 2012, 13:48:35
Quote from: shrap;483948
Well thank you for guaranteeing I will never buy any more used keyboards, from anyone anywhere.


Must have no-poop guarantee.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: NorrisB on Sat, 07 January 2012, 22:16:15
sounds like you had a crappie day
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Tony on Sat, 07 January 2012, 23:13:56
OP did not do anything, he's telling stories and hope his imagination will be entered into wiki by ripster.

Noppoo sales department will be proud.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: KillerBee on Sat, 07 January 2012, 23:33:11
Spray that sucker with WD40 then wash the keyboard with no keys on
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: REVENGE on Sun, 08 January 2012, 01:41:51
Riposte at OCN and Hard, then link us.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: NorrisB on Sun, 08 January 2012, 01:50:39
This is why you dont buy a Noppoo keyboard
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: keyboardlover on Sun, 08 January 2012, 12:47:10
Are you still selling it? I think I found a potential buyer (http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/esooj/how_do_you_clean_jizz_out_of_a_laptop_keyboard/c1annc6).
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Deverica Wolf on Sun, 08 January 2012, 16:02:10
Troll has done job well.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Soarer on Sun, 08 January 2012, 16:40:08
Butt does it ring?
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: keyboardlover on Sun, 08 January 2012, 16:50:45
Just goes to show, you should NEVER TKL your browns.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Oqsy on Mon, 09 January 2012, 20:46:21
Quote from: pitashen;483676
plz don't bump this thread up. Leave it alone. THX

But didn't yr post...  Ohhh i c
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: HolidaySHRIMP on Thu, 12 January 2012, 18:57:11
Almost as my epic as my pissing incident on my XIM3. haha

http://www.xim3.com/community/index.php?topic=11873.0
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: HolidaySHRIMP on Thu, 12 January 2012, 20:57:09
Dude you beat my high score when I pissed on my XIM3. haha

http://www.xim3.com/community/index.php?topic=11873.0
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: qwxc on Sun, 15 January 2012, 14:47:42
Quote from: ripster;486072
This one was MUCH funnier.

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/esooj/how_do_you_clean_jizz_out_of_a_laptop_keyboard/



http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=11890&title=r.-kellys-piss-on-you-music


Agreed, that one was actually funy, this is just sad :(
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Deverica Wolf on Sun, 15 January 2012, 16:13:07
Poop thread is not dying. What the poop is going on with geekhack?! :peep:
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Lusit on Sun, 15 January 2012, 18:26:53
Why would you play Starcraft naked?  That just seems like a recipe for disaster.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Deverica Wolf on Sun, 15 January 2012, 21:19:01
Now don't put naked down. I am naked right now. Naked is fun.

[video=youtube;H0gPlQP63VQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0gPlQP63VQ[/video]
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: The_Ed on Fri, 24 February 2012, 02:33:50
I once saw a picture YEARS ago of a keyboard with a WHOLE TURD on it! The caption said that it was his pissed off roommate that did it while he was away. I have no idea anymore as to whether or not it was mechanical though.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: The_Ed on Fri, 24 February 2012, 02:44:16
[video=youtube;onZczlPRZNc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onZczlPRZNc[/video]
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Kamikaze K on Fri, 24 February 2012, 02:59:36
BAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA nice one! Made me laugh. :painkiller:
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: dirge on Fri, 24 February 2012, 09:47:19
If your a naked starcraft player, invest in a butt plug.

Sounds like you were playing a 'RANK'ed match.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: REVENGE on Fri, 24 February 2012, 11:29:32
It gets rid of the Ping.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: 1391406 on Fri, 24 February 2012, 11:32:58
I knew I shouldn't have clicked on this thread.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: thebilgerat on Fri, 24 February 2012, 12:34:11
brings new meaning to "topre fart"
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: REVENGE on Fri, 24 February 2012, 15:06:56
Biatch.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: The_Ed on Fri, 24 February 2012, 15:17:02
I just wish "somebody" could find that roommate turd keyboard picture. Though it was probably deleted a decade or so ago...

Heres what sombody's Ex's cat did to their keyboard instead.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]41606[/ATTACH]
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: thebilgerat on Fri, 24 February 2012, 16:26:08
I'd rather have a satan cat than another logitech board.
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: Supertoaster on Fri, 24 February 2012, 16:36:07
Well, It looks like this is one ****ty keyboard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0L2KnT9oXs
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: MyNameIsFinn on Fri, 06 April 2012, 22:22:16
REVIVED
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: The_Ed on Fri, 06 April 2012, 23:20:23
Finding pictures of ****ty keyboards is hard...

[ATTACH=CONFIG]47649[/ATTACH]

(http://geekhack.org/attachment.php?attachmentid=47654&d=1333772546)

I found a second picture of a keyboard waffle maker!

[ATTACH=CONFIG]47650[/ATTACH]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]47651[/ATTACH]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]47652[/ATTACH]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]47653[/ATTACH]
Title: How do i get feces out of my keyboard (story inside)
Post by: REVENGE on Fri, 06 April 2012, 23:26:07
I think I've had enough of this crap. :closed_2: