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geekhack Community => Off Topic => Topic started by: Input Nirvana on Sat, 19 May 2012, 15:26:40

Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sat, 19 May 2012, 15:26:40
Anyone ever have an obsessed stalker that was so severe you needed to get a restraining order?
I may need to change my screen name if she stalks me here.

Dang.

Sigh.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: keyboardlover on Sat, 19 May 2012, 16:11:26
Post pics of her in DangWang's subforum!
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sat, 19 May 2012, 17:40:13
Shoot. You guys obviously haven't had this issue. It's pretty rad.
 
-broke into my home and stole.
-numorois text, call, email, drivebys.
-email/call work, businesses saying crazy stuff etc.
-hacked personal email account and is emailing everyone with some crazy stuff.
-disconnected my business website/email.
-was a bookkeeper and has my business and personal filings, soc sec numer, banking info.
-had to get a credit monitoring service because she can check credit reports and see where I move.
-at this point is telling untruths about me to bolster her cause. How silly is that?

She wants a relationship that can never happen, I've tried to distance muself for months, and now I will never deal with her at any level again. Period. I actually don't care that she emails my friends, I mean really, they're my friends and that won't change. But it's sad, pathetic and dangerous.

Just got restraining order, but that only concerns her contacting me, not all the other stuff. I'm moving, making some other changes. I was an attorney years ago, but that doesn't help this situation. She is a heartbeat away from doing enough that the D.A. can bring a suit against her. I am tracking everything to eventually get her into a legal arena. But it's exhausting and I would rather have her just stop before its too late.

You guys be careful out there.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sat, 19 May 2012, 19:37:02
Dunno. That's part of the problem. She wanted it, I wouldn't give it.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sat, 19 May 2012, 20:19:18
Quote from: ripster;596097
Erm...
http://geekhack.org/member.php?14046-keyboardlover

I'm devoid of humor at this point :(
I didn't mention that I've been financially wiped out. Retirement is 100% gone, my business is dead, I'm scraping by for the next 90 days just to get back to zero, not sure what after that. I can maybe rebuild by January if nothing further derails me.

Need an opportunity.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: thegunner100 on Sat, 19 May 2012, 20:21:56
Quote from: input nirvana;596113
I'm devoid of humor at this point :(
I didn't mention that I've been financially wiped out. Retirement is 100% gone, my business is dead, I'm scraping by for the next 90 days just to get back to zero, not sure what after that. I can maybe rebuild by January if nothing further derails me.

Need an opportunity.


I havent been around long enough to know you... but you have my sympathy, and I wish you the best of luck! :hug:
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sat, 19 May 2012, 20:51:19
Thanks man!
Yea, my ass has been kicked, I blame no one but myself. I've been too generous and carried too much for others for too long with virtually no return. Economic issues already took away the cream off the top, then a few companies rolled over and didnt pay...hard to come back from all that. The one thing I have going for me is that everyone has been paid and my credit is good. I haven't burned a soul. I owe the government a few bucks for my last business filings and penalties, but that's manageable.

Onward and upward!

To all: Please be careful you don't get in my situation. It's stressful, humiliating, difficult, and people don't really want to be around when you are sucking exhaust fumes.

It's lonely down here at the bottom :(
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: captain on Sat, 19 May 2012, 21:05:22
Sorry to hear of your woes.  I hope you are able to recover soon.  

You tell us to be careful, but don't indicate how or what we should do and/or not do... How did that woman get enough info on you to do all of that damage?  It sounds like you let her in.  I mean, "hacked your email account"?  Does that even happen without social engineering, an inside connection, or someone using "password" as his password??  I'm just curious to know what the weak points are and how one might prevent such craziness.

On the bright side, you are living in one of the best places in the world.  :-D
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Lanx on Sat, 19 May 2012, 21:16:52
Quote from: captain;596139
"hacked your email account"?  Does that even happen without social engineering, an inside connection, or someone using "password" as his password??

i'm guessing this is the part where she broke in and stole stuff, could be as simple as pillaging every sticky note on the monitor and just trying them all.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: TexasFlood on Sat, 19 May 2012, 21:18:17
Quote from: captain;596139
Sorry to hear of your woes.  I hope you are able to recover soon.  

...

I mean, "hacked your email account"?  Does that even happen without social engineering, an inside connection, or someone using "password" as his password??  I'm just curious to know what the weak points are and how one might prevent such craziness.

On the bright side, you are living in one of the best places in the world.  :-D

I wondered about the email account as well.  There are a couple of other possibilities, guessable password recovery questions, using someone else's PC set up to log keystrokes, find it written down or using his PC to change the PW after getting in with a cookie after braking in are a few that come to mind.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: TexasFlood on Sat, 19 May 2012, 21:21:12
Quote from: captain;596139
Sorry to hear of your woes.  I hope you are able to recover soon.  

...

I mean, "hacked your email account"?  Does that even happen without social engineering, an inside connection, or someone using "password" as his password??  I'm just curious to know what the weak points are and how one might prevent such craziness.

On the bright side, you are living in one of the best places in the world.  :-D

Sorry to hear about it as well and hope it passes soon. I wondered about the email account as well.  There are a couple of other possibilities, guessable password recovery questions, using someone else's PC set up to log keystrokes, find it written down or using his PC to change the PW after getting in with a cookie after breaking in are a few that come to mind.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: alaricljs on Sat, 19 May 2012, 21:37:46
That's some messed up crap, sorry to hear you're going through that.  I suppose I'm fortunate enough to have a personality that few women appreciate much less like, so no worries there for me.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sun, 20 May 2012, 00:13:03
Several months ago she was given my Macbook Pro to use for some data entry and run reports for my business. At that time unfortunately she was able to monitor some of my business email because of auto login. She had too much to drink one night and let something slip about a personal email in my business email account. After a few days I figured out she had access. So I changed all passwords on all accounts and came up with a new password naming convention, which I wrote down as I came up with it. She broke into my home and that notebook is one of the things she stole. Then it was a matter of spending hours trying the various combinations on the various accounts till she got one. Then she forwarded email conversations to her own personal email account and wrote people emails as though she was me until I secured that account.

I don't have much recourse but to let it play out.

Seriously, people need to go to jail for that, or be shot.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: captain on Sun, 20 May 2012, 00:23:05
or both.

Thanks for sharing your tale.  I hope the drama dies down and life returns to roses and sunshine.  I recommend a trip to Napa for a weekend of wine "tasting".  :-)
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sun, 20 May 2012, 00:28:27
I prefer Sonoma :)

The next 90 days are rough. I'll be financially recovering for the rest of the year, but hope to be on my new path before the holidays. Kinda blank-minded right now.

I'll have one or two Kinesis keyboards for sale soon.

BACK TO KEYBOARDS!
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: telepete on Sun, 20 May 2012, 00:35:54
Sorry to hear all this. Good luck.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: captain on Sun, 20 May 2012, 01:00:45
It's actually Sonoma for me too, but I wasn't sure people here would know what I was talking about.  I sure do like the Lodi zins and the Santa Lucia Highlands Pinots too.  Maybe the best idea is to pick up a case of assorted wines, and hit Santa Cruz for a weekend of surfing.  That always reset my system when everything had gone FUBAR.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sun, 20 May 2012, 01:20:33
Sonoma is more down to earth than Napa, and has more to offer, I think. I was working in Cloverdale for 10 days a few weeks ago. Nice.

I've been planning on moving to Santa Cruz for a while now. Probably at least 90 days away from THAT little treat! My surfboard is on consignment at a shop right now :(
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: captain on Sun, 20 May 2012, 02:51:05
Do NOT announce where you're moving to!  The crazy stalker might be reading geekhack!  ;-P
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Malphas on Sun, 20 May 2012, 05:17:32
I've had psycho exes but nothing as bad as this sounds. No doubt if you were a woman complaining of a male stalker you'd have gotten more appropriate responses instead of jokes initially. Good luck, input nirvana.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: keyboardlover on Sun, 20 May 2012, 07:52:59
Good luck buddy. Sounds nasty.

Do you think it could be karma for all your womanizing? I know a LOT about karma. I'm on the payment plan.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]50831[/ATTACH]
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sun, 20 May 2012, 09:01:56
The womanizing is mostly my online persona, along with my pseudo-aggressive and stupid comments I sometimes post here. I've met with/gone out with girls, not been interested, and moved on...is that womanizing? The only accusation I've had of that is by the disgruntled stalker...

Although I'm angry and ramping up to deal with this pproblem legally, more than anything I feel sad for her. She got her second DUI in 6 months when I first called the police about the break in, and she doesn't accept the blame for anything, but chooses to make her situations everyone else's fault. That's her justification for these crazy actions. She's lonely, bitter and high drama all the way. I mean really, she illegally gains access to my personal emails, sends long, rambling emails to people she doesn't know saying how bad I am and how good she is and wants to talk about it with them. And the lies, don't forget the lies, they are the diamonds in this mess :)

Dunno how karma works with money. I've been way too generous and easy with money, and it never flows back, so I won't hold my breath. Maybe a golden opportunity will present itself, but I currently have a serious lack the contacts usually neededd for opportunities.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: keyboardlover on Sun, 20 May 2012, 10:09:35
I'm sure it will all work out.

In the meantime, at least you're getting more action than me!

[ATTACH=CONFIG]50840[/ATTACH]
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sun, 20 May 2012, 12:44:38
LOL!

In the end, she just needs to understand there can never be anything between us at any level after all this garbage has occurred, not even friendly contact. I don't wish her ill will, and maybe she can get some help with whatever bothers her so much. She should move forward and find other things to occupy her time and mind. I'm off limits and am taking steps to legally protect myself from retribution. Anything else that slips through the cracks...oh well.

On to financial rebuilding!
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Djuzuh on Sun, 20 May 2012, 13:32:08
input nirvana: Karma doesn't exist. Unless you are personally responsible for her current state, you didn't deserve what she's inflicting you.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sun, 20 May 2012, 14:42:03
You guys are funny, thanks for that.

It's a difficult situation regardless, even when people just disagree on one small point. We see things from different perspectives and interpret things in different ways. It boils down to walking away if it doesn't work for you. Her issue is that she wants something, can't get it, and combined with her off-base perspective and drinking, is continuing to engage and be malicious. Another month and in her mind I'll be responsible for her ****ty childhood.

I don't hurt people, I have a lot of empathy and try to boost them up. I've spent too much time doing this across the board and need to focus on stabilizing and re-establishing myself. A scary time.

I sincerely hope no one else goes through this, it's a very big problem that makes no sense. All because someone wants a piece of me that I can't give and can't relate to that outcome. Crazy. But I still wish her well, I believe she's not right in her head and needs some form of help.

I will post two things:
1) If there is some kind of positive resolution that occurs at the permanent restraining order hearing on the 31st, or something that may happen sooner.
2) If I develope a plan for business that will substantially increase happiness/stability, whether it be my old business or something new.

Throwing it out there:
I'm very open to participating in a start up, or other endeavors. You can PM me if you like. I'm located 1.5 hours south of San Francisco, but will be moving very shortly.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: net2522 on Sun, 20 May 2012, 14:58:09
Hopefully you get out of this soon soon.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: keyboardlover on Sun, 20 May 2012, 16:32:08
Quote from: Djuzuh;596511
input nirvana: Karma doesn't exist.


Are you kidding? Karma is practically Newtonian!
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Quarzac on Sun, 20 May 2012, 17:50:23
Jeeze, man, that's rough. If I could buy you a beer, I'd buy you a beer.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sun, 20 May 2012, 18:04:25
Hey, if I can start sleeping more than 6 hours a night and get income greater than my expenses....I'll be in a much better spot, will start thinking more clearly, and make plans again.

And maybe people won't shun me and my black cloud!!!! Check this thing out! Huge, isn't it??
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: keyboardlover on Sun, 20 May 2012, 20:01:13
I was going to ask you for advice on getting this girl I like into bed.

..but now I'm afraid I might not be able to get her out of it!
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sun, 20 May 2012, 21:00:16
Haha!
I'm not a player, although my stalker says that I am, and wants the whole world to know what she thinks. As though anyone cares. Especially my friends of 15 years she trying to contact via email.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: TexasFlood on Sun, 20 May 2012, 22:02:41
Quote from: input nirvana;596678
Hey, if I can start sleeping more than 6 hours a night and get income greater than my expenses....I'll be in a much better spot, will start thinking more clearly, and make plans again.

And maybe people won't shun me and my black cloud!!!! Check this thing out! Huge, isn't it??


Following you around is it? :sad:

(http://vinteeage.com/product-images/teerex-black-cloud-of-happiness-t-shirt-vintage-t-shirt-review-cotton-factory-cotton-factory-2.gif)
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sun, 20 May 2012, 23:25:40
Holy **** TexasFlood, you're stalking me too!
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: audioave10 on Mon, 21 May 2012, 10:52:16
input nirvana...Good Luck!
I'm glad to be too old for such problems anymore.
When you first said Stalker...I thought you meant the game. LOL
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: TexasFlood on Mon, 21 May 2012, 11:23:24
Quote from: input nirvana;596853
Holy **** TexasFlood, you're stalking me too!


It's not me you have to worry about...

(http://www.midlifebachelor.com/images/articleimages/stalker.jpg)
(http://www.shrink4men.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/tiger-woman3-300x256.jpg)
(http://www.moroch.com/_media/glenn-close-fatal-attraction.jpg)
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: TexasFlood on Mon, 21 May 2012, 11:39:24
Said the cute little white bunny rabbit...
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Mon, 21 May 2012, 11:46:38
She's in her mid/late 30's...no spring chicken.

She's mostly just making herself more miserable, and being an inconvenience to me. Can't really hurt me much more unless she breaks the law. The contacting of people just makes her look like a lunatic. I've chosen to deactivate the email accounts she penetrated/attempted to penetrate. At midnight she was still attempting to reset passwords...I'm over it.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: TexasFlood on Mon, 21 May 2012, 11:56:51
I once had a woman basically do stakeouts to keep up with what I was doing and sometimes follow me so I've had a taste.
But luckily she either didn't have the skills or motivation to get into my email, make harassing calls to folks I know, or break into my place.
Either way you have my sympathy and assurance that such things can pass, did in my case anyway.
Hopefully the pictures above were taken with the humor intended, could be taken both ways I guess.
I almost didn't post them for that reason, but if you don't have your sense of humor then you're really screwed! :wink:
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: kriminal on Mon, 21 May 2012, 11:59:14
Quote from: input nirvana;596564

Throwing it out there:
I'm very open to participating in a start up, or other endeavors. You can PM me if you like. I'm located 1.5 hours south of San Francisco, but will be moving very shortly.


you guys sure its input nirvana we are talking to? O_o!!!
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: TexasFlood on Mon, 21 May 2012, 12:06:08
Excellent point, we don't really know do we? We might be talking to his stalker!
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Mon, 21 May 2012, 13:41:43
True.
Imav can verify my 2 IP addresses ffrom my phone and home comp. I guess.

If anyone has a link or a list of things I should do or be aware of...please post.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: TexasFlood on Mon, 21 May 2012, 13:48:21
Let's hope nobody else gets them, as a hard line ISP IP will reveal your location to probably within 700 meters.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: godly_music on Tue, 22 May 2012, 00:44:18
Sheesh, she is crazy. All the best to you.

One thing you might wanna do from now on is have your harddrive encrypted, so you'll have to enter a password at boot. TrueCrypt is excellent and available for Mac. This enables you to keep your auto login for e-mails and even store sensitive data in plain text (as long as your computer is well secured towards the internet). A strong password isn't one that uses lots of symbols and numbers, but simply one that has many letters. You can use mnemonic hooks well here. Something like 'GeorgeWashingtonBurnRoast' will never, ever, ever be brute forced.

I don't think she'll have a chance to access your computer again, but good security practices go a long way.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: DanGWanG on Tue, 22 May 2012, 02:33:21
So this is what's been going on....
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Tue, 22 May 2012, 21:38:16
She was served with the restraining order I filed for. In retribution, she has filed for one against me which I received today. I read it at work and my stomach started churning and I was sweating. No one has ever said or written such horrible things about me. She turned it 180 degrees around and added things you see on reality tv shows. Truly nasty and malicious. I sound like a complete monster in the complaint. It's all lies, and I know it, but it doesn't change how I feel about reading it. I'm sick. I would do anything to change this situation. Then today she started texting female friends of mine (I think she got their mobile numbers when she hacked one of my free email accounts...the IM or conversations on Gmail). I've known them all for over a decade, they live in other states, and they all threatened her with calling police for harassment.

All this because I tried to be supportive and help someone that has been spiraling down for months. I've been trying to cut the tie 100% for months...that created even more static. There was never a better, less problematic way of stopping the insanity. I realize that going to court will be a step in reducing the problem, but it's so mentally and emotionally disturbing. I have to handle all this by myself, no friends or family to help support through this nasty time.

It's hard for me to admit this...I'm scared.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: keyboardlover on Tue, 22 May 2012, 21:40:29
That sucks brother. I wish you good luck but honestly I think you will be fine and it will all work out.

In the end she will be out of your life and it sounds like that's all you really need. Focus on that. Focus on the positives.

In the meantime it sounds like you are doing all the right things. And anyone who she contacts you can just explain the situation to. They should understand if they care about you.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: TexasFlood on Tue, 22 May 2012, 22:00:37
Sounds like she needs the wonder of modern pharmaceuticals.
Until then I hope you weather the storm and come out OK.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Tue, 22 May 2012, 22:38:40
-Thanks guys. Yes they understand and are supportive. They know me well and deep.
-I know every few days it will be less bad, but the fear of the unexpected is wearing me out.
-It turns out she's been on various meds her whole life and has yearly ups/downs.
-My mind is the worst enemy....worrying, wondering, thinking, confused, don't know what to do, how to make it better....

In 90 days I'll be caught up with my monthlies, and that will be a daily hassle that is gone along with the stress that creates. Then I can take a few baby steps on fine tuning and improving. My current employment will love me, I'm pretty kick ass with everything...but that takes a little time. Then perhaps some better opportunities will present themselves so I can stand a better chance.

Thanks again. This is a very lonely and disconcerting time. This is what I get for trying to be supportive to a person that has been spiraling down for 6 months. It was going to be ugly making the separation (not that we were dating even though she believes that) no matter what.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: godly_music on Wed, 23 May 2012, 01:38:02
Separate the things you can do something about, and the things you can't. Don't worry about the latter. I know it's hard, but the more energy you conserve and the more efficiently you can spend it, the happier you'll be.

You say it yourself, your mind is the worst enemy. That's true for a lot of people. We have this habit of constantly chewing on problems and amplifying their effects on us, but it doesn't really help.

Maybe set some time aside where you do something rewarding. Get a good sweat on, hobbies, relaxation, whatever. As long as you don't let your mind linger on this. Don't let this situation 'own' you.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Wed, 23 May 2012, 02:06:20
Godly---

Thanks for that. I really appreciate it. I also know it... this is tough for me in spite of everything.

More than anything I'm posting this so others can see and be aware. I've heard similar stories many times. I never thought it was possible in my world. But my situation is almost the worst. She has ALL business/personal credit, banking, soc. sec.#, etc. I'm at a point where I almost don't care anymore, the damage to ME has been done. I'm unhappy :(

I'll end this as soon as I can... it's ugly no matter what.... but tonight is a turning point. I'm moving on. It's a decision. And a bottle of vodka.

Thank you. I really appreciate everyone's input. I've been beside myself with this crap.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: laffindude on Wed, 23 May 2012, 02:17:12
I'll drink to that friend. Cheers.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Wed, 23 May 2012, 02:39:22
Bottom line...it's ****ed. I'm bringing in every text, email, smoke signal she's sent to people that she got from hacking my email, going through my work notebook and their responses to not bother them. I'm certain the judge will note I've not called, texted, emailed, etc, yet SHE says she's been bothered. I've just been able to copy all my SMS messages with a nifty program called PhoneView that shows her dozens of nasty, drunken texts harassing me and my one or two encouraging her to be careful and get help.

Never again.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Wed, 30 May 2012, 20:58:11
A new low level of humiliation. Tomorrow I leave work early to go to court and hang out with the dregs of society to try and have the temporary restraining order made permanent. How did I get here? Never in my life did I think I would be needing to do such a thing.

After she was served with the restraining order, as retribution, she had me served as well (which is fine), but she lied and said we were romantically involved, and that I did horrible things like use her for money, abuse her, etc.

I'm checking out mentally tonight and putting myself into a self-induced coma that I'll schedule to come out of during the weekend. Anything to get through this BS. I don't know how it's handled, but if I see her there, I'm going to address the court to say that even though peeps have their good points and bad points, that whatever she and I are going through is unhealthy, and that I have safety concerns and request absolutely no contact. That I don't hate her and wish her well, but that I can under no circumstances tolerate/forgive/accept the harassment, email hacking, alcoholism, contacting of people/work/companies etc. That she needs to accept that, and not continue her actions of retribution (legal or otherwise), but to let it go, since it won't change anything, and I'll never deal with her again, and will in fact use the courts further if needed. I need to mention that she has my Soc.Sec# so the court will instruct her to not try and run credit reports or use/damage my credit.

Ok. Anybody here that thought they are having a bad day or have a lot of problems....you should look up to the sky after reading this and just smile about how good you have it.

Be careful out there.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: cactux on Wed, 30 May 2012, 21:12:24
^ Good luck! there is always light on the other side of the tunnel.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Wed, 30 May 2012, 21:14:29
:)
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: keyboardlover on Wed, 30 May 2012, 21:18:15
Nasty stuff...good luck bud.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: fohat.digs on Wed, 30 May 2012, 21:20:58
I really feel for you, man.

That is some ugly sh!t. My own life has had its ups and downs, but nothing to compare to this.

I have a lawyer friend who has handled hundreds of divorces, and he has told me some mind-bending tales of anger and revenge (never any names, dates, or places, of course) that transcend logic and credulity.

The term "crimes of passion" used to mean something like catching your wife in bed with another man, and killing her/him/them, but I have come to believe that there are people crazed enough, and sufficiently detached from reality, to fabricate entire scenarios and then act on them.

I worked for a man in the 1980s (a brilliant architect, by the way, who died very young) with an apparent sleeping disorder. He would sometimes come to work at 10:00 or 11:00 am, completely disoriented, and spew out all sorts of bizarre accusations at us.

Eventually, we concluded that when he finally went to sleep, he had wild dreams about the office, our projects, and our work, which he then brought in as if what he had "experienced" was actually real. In that light, it all fell into place. Not that it was any help, you can't confront the guy who signs your paycheck! And the other 90% of the time, he was great and loving and kind!

Stay calm, tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. All logic, no conjecture, no assumption, no emotion. This, I know.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Wed, 30 May 2012, 21:26:10
Thanks for that. Some people don't understand why it's so hard if I didn't do anything that I need to worry about, which I haven't. But it sucks. I just want it to be in the past. I have a very small concern that somehow I may get sued by her, since now she's making all sorts of accusations...but THAT's crazy worry :)
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: cactux on Wed, 30 May 2012, 22:10:45
This whole story will be part of your past tomorrow and you will see that life has something nice waiting for you.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Wed, 30 May 2012, 22:15:19
Quote from: cactux;604364
This whole story will be part of your past tomorrow and you will see that life has something nice waiting for you.

I hope you're right...

[ATTACH=CONFIG]51892[/ATTACH]
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: keyboardlover on Wed, 30 May 2012, 22:16:00
^ Dibs on the right one.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Wed, 30 May 2012, 22:20:08
Quote from: keyboardlover;604368
^ Dibs on the right one.

Dude...been there....you're late again....



Really, I bet she's a model....I always believed 98% of all women are beautiful...and the other 2% are in the military. Mebbe that changed with 9/11 though.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Thu, 31 May 2012, 16:54:55
Stupid court. Denied BOTH restraining orders, because we each said that we wanted nothing to do with each other and would not contact each other. The court said if there was any contact it would be a very bad thing and an RO would be issued. Why not just do it now, then? Sigh. Whatever.

If you don't hear from me ever again, you might see her parading around town with an Input Nirvana skin trench coat.

Maybe she got some closure from this.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: keyboardlover on Thu, 31 May 2012, 17:02:10
Quote from: input nirvana;604954
Maybe she got some closure from this.

Hope so. If you need to lay low come to the east coast. We'll get some beers.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Thu, 31 May 2012, 17:10:52
You got it I have a lot of history in Baltimore, DC, Miami, Atlanta, Long Island :)
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: fohat.digs on Thu, 31 May 2012, 20:31:48
Start a journal.

Make an entry at least weekly, even if it says "no observable signals this week" and be consistent about it.

This thing may have an eccentric orbit and come back at some wildly random future date, especially if there is a money cache (no pun intended) somewhere.

As much as you never want to think about it again, look at it like the need for virus protection.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Fri, 01 June 2012, 01:26:12
Very good point, and insight. I feel so much better for whatever reason. It's just settled in my view. But I decided if there is ANY form of harassment or contact, I'll be on 911 within seconds and back to the court to file for the RO again. I think the judge erred in not issuing the restraining order....I thought they handed them out like candy, to keep people from killing each other. Oh well.

One thing though...when I was explaining "my side" I clearly made a point of explaining that I never had any interest, didn't have any interest, and will never have any interest, and now with the lies and malicious behavior that I'm disgusted by her. I also explained that she always wanted a relationship and I never did, and that's why there was tension. It must have been humiliating for her. I'm hoping that made an impact.

In the end, I'm feeling good for the first time in since April 22. I didn't even think about this for about 4-5 hours this afternoon/evening. I bet I could almost forget about it. Not that I should....I still gotta be careful regardless, as everyone should.

Moving on...BACK TO KEYBOARDS!
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: cactux on Fri, 01 June 2012, 01:28:30
^ You flush out all your stress. Welcome back to GeekHack :-)
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Fri, 01 June 2012, 01:47:37
Yea, no doubt. Flush stress. It's the first official release to deal with it since the whole mess started.

I hope this has been informative to somebody somewhere to always be cautious because things can spiral in a pretty crazy fashion. Be diligent.

I know there may be some blowback at some point, but it will be virtually nothing if at all.

Now, to find a career, get out of debt, find some happiness.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Thu, 07 June 2012, 22:42:08
On a pathetic side-note to this whole mess....

When I went to court, trying to get a restraining order from being harassed from the nut-job, she walks in, and starts hyperventilating like she was afraid and stressed. The judge asks why I want the restraining order, so I do my song and dance and reference the 3 police reports I made. Then he asks her if she is contesting the restraining order. SHE SAYS YES! Wtf???? She counter-filed an RO "after" she got served by the RO I filed against HER. Why would she not want mutual restraining orders??? Then she proceeds to try and explain that we had a romantic relationship, as "evidence" she produces 2 pictures...one of her and me at a table smiling while eating at a restaurant, and the other....get this....I fell asleep while she was doing some bookkeeping (which was never done correctly or filed, hence my IRS/State/Employment Department problems, and why I fired her), so she GETS CLOSE TO MY HEAD AND TAKES A PICTURE OF HERSELF LOOKING AT THE CAMERA WITH ME SLEEPING!!!! Is that not pathetic and sick? Who the **** does that stupid ****? She also produced 2 letters from people that I don't know that said we were a couple. What I don't understand is this....what would that have to do with the RO or anything else?

My life has been making steady improvements every week since this happened, so I'm getting out of the hole...but what the hell????

Be careful studs...loser, psychos with no life, no hope, no future are waiting to suck the juice right out of you like a parasite. The good news is that once you pry the god damn leach off your vein, them and any memory of them quickly fades away.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: The_Ed on Fri, 08 June 2012, 02:37:26
I'm 20 and I've never even been able to ask a girl out on a date... Hopefully when I do this won't happen to me... I need to get out of the basement more often...

You should get one of these mousepads (or mugs, they have those too) to help cheer yourself up.

(http://geekhack.org/attachment.php?attachmentid=52465&d=1339140932)
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: cactux on Fri, 08 June 2012, 04:14:39
^ If you do not talk to the girl you have 0 % chances to date her. So if you just try, your chances are for sure higher than 0%. Think about it ;-).

Is just like touch-typing the fist time you do not have a clue where is the "a", but with practice you can go up to 100wpm, without even looking at the board.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: fohat.digs on Fri, 08 June 2012, 08:10:44
To Ed -

Societal pressures make too many young guys chase the "cheerleaders" and "models" who are usually unobtainable.

Look for a quiet nerdy girl, she will appreciate your attention. After all, you are not insulting her by hitting on her.

If your minds can connect, your bodies may follow.

Being shot down is nothing to worry about. I have been embarrassed thousands of times in my life, and will be thousands more.

Sticks and stones, etc

Except when you are extremely unlucky like our unfortunate colleague. Then you need to run like hell as soon as you can see the writing on the wall.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sat, 09 June 2012, 10:24:48
I've dated some highly attractive girls (lets call them "9"s for the sake of example) and what I've found has been interesting. Some of them know they get a LOT of looks ALL the time, but are very rarely approached seriously. Others were hit on CONSTANTLY. The difference that I came up with? One was lifestyle. Where they went and what they did, and the types of people they came in contact with. The other, which is huge, is a combination of factors including how they carried themselves...if they made eye contact, appeared busy or distracted, body language, etc. Whether they are aware of it or not.

Overall, I've found the "7"s I've gone out with had far more 'serious' interest from men. The "9"s got a lot of flake or were considered unapproachable. Weird. We're all just people. All that matters is what's on the inside.

My suggestion to be a happier, healthier human being....talk to everyone openly and honestly, men, women, kids, dogs, cats, parking meter maids. View them all as equals....get plenty of face time. And, in your interactions, some will hopefully prove to be good people for you, and at least one will be extra special...in the end, that's all that matters. Make yourself a great person so they want to have an interest in YOU. It's a lot easier when they are doing the chasing.

About 10 years ago, for about a week after a haircut, I would have girls bump their shopping carts into my cart at the grocery store. That was a hell of a lot of fun.
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: SmallFry on Sat, 09 June 2012, 13:40:59
Glad to see you back Input Nirvana!
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: nmd on Sat, 09 June 2012, 16:41:39
Stalkers are the worst. :(
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sat, 09 June 2012, 22:38:53
I did some reading...stalkers suffer from overbearing feelings of inadequacy...that's why it's often male on female or female on male...the whole relationship thingy....

I'm over it. I spend about 5 mins a day thinking about it. I don't know if there will be any other problems...after what I said in court that she was never a person I would ever be involved with (I was looking pretty good that day, was gonna hit on a very sharp looking blonde attorney with a cute little black dress...and stalker was looking rather horrid) and that I never wanted to see, hear, think of her ever again or I would call the police again. If that doesn't send a clear message, I don't know what does. I'm not to worried about anything she may try to do anymore...she's already tried to do damage, with very limited results. Maybe she is seeing things more clearly now and will move on.

All I know is that I'm pumping 50+ hours a week working and am getting some recognition for my efforts and results, which is elevating me, and I'm making baby steps out of my hole. Now to control what few negative issues I have, get a framework lifestyle back, and start seeing mo' WOMEN!!!!
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: Roguemaster8 on Sat, 09 June 2012, 22:40:49
You get em tiger!
Title: Stalker drama
Post by: net2522 on Sat, 09 June 2012, 22:41:57
Quote from: input nirvana;610617
(I was looking pretty good that day, was gonna hit on a very sharp looking blonde attorney with a cute little black dress...and stalker was looking rather horrid)


:rofl::rofl:
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sat, 28 July 2012, 16:17:59
Hey you guys....

All bad that happens will eventually pass....

I've been working at my slave wages now for 90 days (60 hours weekly last 6 weeks) and slowly paying off the massive debt I incurred, and have gotten the other messes identified or under control even if everything isn't completely resolved. Selling stuff, getting used to a crazy schedule, working out of town, etc. I have not done as much as I could have to clean up life, but when you work massive hours....somethings gotta give.

The stalker still sends the occasional text/email...usually at 2am when it's drunk...and drives by constantly. I'm going to go to try and get the restraining order again. It wants 'to talk'...pathetic. I've never ever responded...I now know this is what the parasite wants...contact to validate it's ****ty feelings. It was shut down by all the people it contacted when it hacked my email. I'm touched that girls and former employees from 10 years ago defend me so strongly after so much time. I'm gratified.

I finally looking for a higher paying job with a better overall situation. I have one or two possibilities and will move closer to the bay area in about a month once I lock down one of these jobs. I decided to go back into self-employment after the first of the year. A big decision considering all that's happened. I made that decision while driving to the bay area at 4:30 am one morning. Strong thinking time.

I met a sweet girl accidentally over a month ago. She is 200 miles away, so I've only seen her once, but there is a pretty strong attraction. I've told her almost everything... Hard to say what will happen, I certainly was not looking for a girlfriend...I mean my life is a disaster! But I've illustrated where I am, where I have been (which is impressive) and where I think I want to go, with an associated timeline. She's sexy as hell. Schwing!!!!

So basically I anticipate the job change and move in 20-60 days maximum. In that same time most of all things get addressed/settled other than the longer-term business debt and filings I still carry, but that too will eventually be taken care of.

In spite of the tough path I've had recently, I've not hurt, burned, lied, cheated, bailed, stiffed, let down, not paid, scammed anyone or anything. I sleep well at night knowing I'm giving 100% to those I'm obligated to. The only entity that feels that I'm a scumbag is the parasitic stalker, that still sends texts to a former employee of mine (that it met) asking why he still deals with me considering how I ripped it off, used it, and scammed it. So it still blames me for all it's problems. Whatever. If that's the only entity that feels slighted...I'm comfortable with that.

I give you this update so anyone that has had or is having some pretty bad situations...no matter how horrible it may seem (mine was pretty shi-TAY)...there is always tomorrow...and it can be as good as you make it. I wonder how much better things would be if I was smarter, more careful, more talented, stronger, etc. Any of you that may feel overwhelmed or let down, or hopeless, just tap into your family/friends for support, make a reasonable plan that you can live with, and start doing what makes you happy. It comes from the inside, it's definitely NOT external. Never think that it is, 'cause it ain't.
 
It is what it is.

And I sincerely appreciate the awesome PMs you guys have sent. I had a couple nights where I was going to sleep being thankful for the generous offers and support from you. I do not forget such things and even in my crappy situation am trying to pay it forward.

<copy GH and DT>
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: csm725 on Sat, 28 July 2012, 18:08:12
You're a great guy. I remember talking to you a long time ago about a group buy and you were really nice and even though I was new to the KB community you didn't hesitate in sharing things with me, and that was really appreciated.
I've been following this thread since its inception and I am seriously smiling IRL right now. So happy to hear you're still able to live in Cali, more so in the Bay Area!
This bit is especially meaningful to me:
"In spite of the tough path I've had recently, I've not hurt, burned, lied, cheated, bailed, stiffed, let down, not paid, scammed anyone or anything."
Just shows that with the right amount of (immense) willpower, maintaining superiority is possible, and that's one hell of a life lesson.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: iMav on Sat, 28 July 2012, 22:58:11
Thanks for the update I.N. 

Don't sell all your Kinesis 'boards...you need at least one to keep for yourself.  :)

I've witnessed some stalking situations and have gone through situations where someone has been obsessed with me.  Zero response/acknowledgment was the best course of action.  (fortunately, I didn't go through anything nearly as bad as your situation)

I consider you a valuable member here and hope that, as you continue to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, you have time to stay engaged here.  I feel we are going through a bit of a rebirth here at geekhack...and am excited about it.  R00tw0rm may have done us a favor (in the long run).
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Wildcard on Sat, 28 July 2012, 23:48:00
when it's drunk..

This is how I imagine your stalker (aka IT) now...

(http://images.wikia.com/wikiality/images/b/b0/Pennywise.jpg)

Glad to see you've made it out of that hell.

I hope things continue to swing upward and onward.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sun, 29 July 2012, 00:32:33
Thanks guys, really.

Geekhack kinda needs a clean slate/restructuring/new clear direction (no offense). And....I've contributed to some of the crapola in the past.

For the record....I'm a friggan soldier, you want me on your team, BUT....I have 3 things that will freak me out/put me down:
1) kick in the balls
2) clowns  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coulrophobia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coulrophobia)
3) midgets/dwarves (I apologize for this one)

Riffraff, your pic above is a weenie-shrinker. Please don't do that anymore!
iMav...if I sell off my last Kinesis...I won't be able to type, and therefore won't be able to spew my crap on the intertoobs. THAT won't be happening anytime soon.



P.S.  If the stalker was a man, I would have put it in a body bag by now and dug a shallow hole in the desert.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: fohat.digs on Sun, 29 July 2012, 17:25:57
Thank you. Your perseverance is an inspiration to the rest of us.

Like I say to my kids when they are watching garbage on TV: "doesn't this make you appreciate your own lives being normal?"

I am truly sorry for the unnatural volume of sh|t that you are enduring.

Continue to ignore it and it will fade away. Eventually.

Good Luck.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Wildcard on Sun, 29 July 2012, 17:41:00
P.S.  If the stalker was a man, I would have put it in a body bag by now and dug a shallow hole in the desert.

"Allegedly"
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: captain on Sun, 05 August 2012, 08:12:57
Congrats on the new lease on life input nirvana!  I'm particularly interested in your escaping from the hole.  Got any suggestions for quick, legal money making?  The tax man is coming to take it all away!  :-o
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Tue, 07 August 2012, 16:25:54
Congrats on the new lease on life input nirvana!  I'm particularly interested in your escaping from the hole.  Got any suggestions for quick, legal money making?  The tax man is coming to take it all away!  :-o

Being excessively busy, even at such low compensation rates has been good, it's kept the mind from dwelling.

I'm such a team player at this point I haven't done much thinking on generating income other than for my employer, which is fine temporarily. Of course working 60+ hours a week reduces free time :)

Quick, easy, legal...isn't that what everybody looks for? LOL

I have a dear friend who has discovered a way of buying/selling a certain semi-automatic gun model (not in California...we don't allow guns in this state) and changing the trigger package so he makes about $900+ per gun re-sell. He's been doing a buy/sell every 4 weeks or so steadily. It's also part of his hobby, so he is getting paid to play, so to speak. How cool is that?

For me, I need to start my business again, or another business. I've only made a few fledgling attempts at making some contacts at this point. It's the only sure way to increase income.

With my moving, I'm going to lose a couple thousand dollars of 'stuff' that just needs to go. Can't take all the time to sell, pay to store, have the hassle...etc. Bums me out, but only so much can be done sometimes. Money/finances are extremely fluid, that's for sure. I've really learned the value of a dollar these past months. My biggest issue is earning more, but I'm going to focus on spending less for my 4 walls. I've always spent too much on mortgage/rent. And it's cumulative...you save every month... Or driving a car with no car payments, HUGE monthly savings.

Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: DanGWanG on Tue, 07 August 2012, 16:29:45
Even if it isn't making you lots of money, you seem like you're living a humble life, earnest and hardworking.  A lot of people would be fine with just that their whole life, and sometimes I wish I could be like that.

BTW...STUFF...I WANT =D
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Tue, 07 August 2012, 16:43:56
Yea, I've figure I've made a lot and spent a lot in the past...I'm over the 'buying' compulsion. Life is pretty simple, we make it hard...some of it is a product of our culture. I'm going for a simpler, less cluttered and easier existence between now and next summer. Wanna work on 'me' a bit to get dialed into life again. Plans, priorities, goal setting, fun, enjoyment. I've realized there is NO REASON to not have these things where you want them in your life.

One of my great attributes is that I get things done. I don't see the obstacles, I see the result. I'm angry I don't do it on the bigger playing field like I did in the past, but I've lost resources and momentum.


I'm open to opportunities if anyone has ideas or direction :) After all, I'm near Silicone Vally!

Stuff...costs money...takes time...and space...and mental energy...


Oh yea, the parasite sent a text last night at midnight (when it's drunk) and wants to talk to me or it's going to sue me for some fabricated reason. Whatever. A couple weeks ago it emailed me a pic of me with no text. Pathetic. It just needs to go away and live life anywhere...as long as it's not near me. I will never deal with the creature again. I'll go for another attempt at the restraining order soon. I contacted the phone company and found out I can have a phone number blocked so I don't get calls/texts. COOL!
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: captain on Wed, 08 August 2012, 17:10:52
Maybe it's time for a new phone number at the same time you move to your new location.  You have made certain that Parasite cannot find your new home, right? 

Count your blessings!  Starting with which is *having* 60+hrs/week to spend on anything.  When I'm lucky, I have about 30.  Every try to get a "real" job when you only have 5hrs/day available?  :-/
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Wed, 08 August 2012, 22:58:51
I work at a crazy low rate...that's why they work me so much. Any change will be a boost for me...and after 3.5 months of this I need a change desperately...but I recognize this was necessary. The next 30 days are going to be very stressful.

I don't want to change my number...though I guess it's really not such a big deal. But the harassment is minor at this point and I will need to pursue with the RO if it continues. People can always find out where you live/number if they want to, so I'm not going to freak out too much over it...but I may change number....good idea.

I'd be happy to work a 32 work week :)  But only 5 hours available? The problem starts there :)
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Gerk on Wed, 08 August 2012, 23:14:09
Sorry to hear about all this man ... I've been there too dude.  Luckily in time it tends to go away.  For me (and I won't go into the whole drama of it all) it went on for about 6 months and then she found someone else to spend her energies on stalking and trying to make miserable.  A few years later, no word of a lie, I saw here again out the blue ... on TV (seriously) ... and not just any TV, on one of those daytime Jerry Springer like TV shows.  I watched her tell the story of how she was stalking this other dude (thank god she moved on).  She ended up chasing him to a new city he moved to (8 hours away) and stalking him there.  She climbed up to his 4th floor balcony and broke into his apartment (yes she actually could pull that off too, ex military crazy chick!).  She ended up getting arrested and doing jail time for it (and then when she got out scored a spot on that TV show).

The moral of the story is that she will go away once it's no fun any more and she finds someone else to creep on ... stay strong man!
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Gerk on Wed, 08 August 2012, 23:15:17
Oh sorry, the other difference is that I did indeed sleep with her (too many times) ... I guess at least I got _something_ out of the whole ordeal.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Wed, 08 August 2012, 23:28:45
LOL!!!

But, in principle...does that make a difference? Obviously in the real world it does, but having sex doesn't give your life over to someone. It's just sex.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Gerk on Thu, 09 August 2012, 12:08:28
Ya you'd think ... but I guess that doesn't land you a spot on daytime TV if you don't LOL
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: captain on Fri, 10 August 2012, 18:07:33
Just abide, man.  Give the nihilist your $4, and let it go.  She's already killed your car.  You're getting off cheap. 
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sat, 22 September 2012, 13:26:09
The fat-ugly-white hill trash-disgusting-freak-pathetic-drama filled-embezzeling-crappy bookeeper-parasitic-tick-stalker called my phone yesterday. I'm re-compiling EVERYTHING and going to courthouse Monday am to get this **** to stop. I have as much as I can so I can go on the offensive for a possible harassment suit. Restraining order is about all I can try to do again.

I've done this:
-job changed
-moved
-locked down credit access/reporting with 2 different and expensive services for track record and legal action if it tries to access my credit.
-changed bank accounts
-changed email addresses
-contacted state/fed agencies re: taxes/misc biz filings
------------------------------------------------------------
-about to change phone number
-can't do much about internet stalking, name is out there, it's out there (can't use any social media personal or professional with an internet stalker)

WHAT THE HELL ELSE DO I NEED TO DO? Let me know if there is something else.

I actually felt sorry for it for a few months because it's so sad, empty and completely worthless at all levels. But not anymore. This is getting downright scary. Time to elevate the level of personal protection.

Priorities.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: sth on Sat, 22 September 2012, 13:30:35
come to the meetup to take a break from all this craziness!
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sat, 22 September 2012, 13:36:30
I really should, but I have some sudden work items to take care of, blah-blah-blah.

This weekend was almost always a stretch just because of stuff overall.

Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: rayuki on Sat, 22 September 2012, 14:05:39
The fat-ugly-white hill trash-disgusting-freak-pathetic-drama filled-embezzeling-crappy bookeeper-parasitic-tick-stalker called my phone yesterday. I'm re-compiling EVERYTHING and going to courthouse Monday am to get this **** to stop. I have as much as I can so I can go on the offensive for a possible harassment suit. Restraining order is about all I can try to do again.

I've done this:
-job changed
-moved
-locked down credit access/reporting with 2 different and expensive services for track record and legal action if it tries to access my credit.
-changed bank accounts
-changed email addresses
-contacted state/fed agencies re: taxes/misc biz filings
------------------------------------------------------------
-about to change phone number
-can't do much about internet stalking, name is out there, it's out there (can't use any social media personal or professional with an internet stalker)

WHAT THE HELL ELSE DO I NEED TO DO? Let me know if there is something else.

I actually felt sorry for it for a few months because it's so sad, empty and completely worthless at all levels. But not anymore. This is getting downright scary. Time to elevate the level of personal protection.

Priorities.

man all that just because you didn't sleep with her :(

any regrets? surely if you just slept with her in the beginning and she found out how bad a root you were this would never have happened?

(disclaimer, obviously im joking, trying to cheer you up with my dry humor :P )
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sat, 22 September 2012, 14:28:15
I'm good with your humor, it's funny!

But this is a PITA. In the end, I'm over it. But I'm recognizing a few danger signs.

Lessons learned. Don't let losers anywhere near you...ever.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: tp4tissue on Sat, 22 September 2012, 14:50:12
LOL!!!

But, in principle...does that make a difference? Obviously in the real world it does, but having sex doesn't give your life over to someone. It's just sex.

Mmm... see this is the problem here. the modern departure of sex from purposeful procreation..

It's something that women can't handle, because their biology is such that oxytocin, the neurochemical responsible for pair-bonding occurs at a level 4 times greater than in men.

So, it wouldn't be a surprise that certain "stalker-prone" women may have even more elevated levels of said brain chemistry.

In conclusion, it may be a medical condition. ;D


That said, if she was ugly, why did you flirt with her in the first place... this story sounds a bit troll' fishy, but since internet truth is all but inconsequential... I'm inclined to believe it..

You could always pay someone to make her disappear, it wouldn't surprise me if she hasn't thought about killing you. Obsessions are tortuous for the victim, but often also exhausting for the perpetrator.

So, in a fit of classic romance, she may decide to off you and then herself.

No legal action will save you then..

I don't think distancing yourself from the problem is enough if this women is as resourceful and obsessive as you say.
 
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sat, 22 September 2012, 15:09:24
At this point I don't feel anything I do will "stop" its insane obsession. It lives in some weird unrealistic dream world it seems. Until it has something better/more time consuming in its own pitiful existence it would seem I'm the focus and blame of its problems. It seems to think there is some 'tie' since I was nice to it. I just don't know/understand the whole thing. That's the scary part...it doesn't make ANY sense. I just want to ignore it, so if I can be in a position of not being aware of its obsession, I'm comfortable with that. Ignorance is bliss. I don't want to be inconvenienced anymore, give it any further attention. And, to a certain point, I can distance myself from it and the problem it's trying to create and consider it the equivalent of junk mail/spam/traffic/nasty bowel movement. Forget about it. It happens, don't give it any attention/effort. It'll pass just like a bad day. Especially if I can reduce it to internet hassle.

If it doesn't send a text or whatever, I never think about it. It has that little meaning in my life. It's of no consequence.

As far as me being eradicated...I'm comfortable with my life and who/what I am. Any of us can go at any time. I'm prepared. But, should something make an attempt, I'll do everything I can do eliminate it first. Obviously. I consider that entertainment. Eat or be eaten. I'm good with that.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: tp4tissue on Sat, 22 September 2012, 15:37:39
At this point I don't feel anything I do will "stop" its insane obsession. It lives in some weird unrealistic dream world it seems. Until it has something better/more time consuming in its own pitiful existence it would seem I'm the focus and blame of its problems. It seems to think there is some 'tie' since I was nice to it. I just don't know/understand the whole thing. That's the scary part...it doesn't make ANY sense. I just want to ignore it, so if I can be in a position of not being aware of its obsession, I'm comfortable with that. Ignorance is bliss. I don't want to be inconvenienced anymore, give it any further attention. And, to a certain point, I can distance myself from it and the problem it's trying to create and consider it the equivalent of junk mail/spam/traffic/nasty bowel movement. Forget about it. It happens, don't give it any attention/effort. It'll pass just like a bad day. Especially if I can reduce it to internet hassle.

If it doesn't send a text or whatever, I never think about it. It has that little meaning in my life. It's of no consequence.

As far as me being eradicated...I'm comfortable with my life and who/what I am. Any of us can go at any time. I'm prepared. But, should something make an attempt, I'll do everything I can do eliminate it first. Obviously. I consider that entertainment. Eat or be eaten. I'm good with that.

Classic move, dehumanize your "enemy", referring to her as "it".

This never works out. Notice that every nation does this in a time of war, and it only serves to prolong the fighting while never addressing the root of the problem.

Based on your other posts, you've demonstrated awareness of the fact that you bear some responsibility for this situation.

Relationship problems always take two to create, and two to end.


If not mutually resolved, we arrive at the dreaded romantic suicides.


I'm assuming you're younger, since you've decided to throw time at the problem, hoping it would resolve itself, you've got life ahead.

If you are "not" young, perhaps a more active approach is necessary.

Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sat, 22 September 2012, 16:02:45
I didn't dehumanize it, the creature has dehumanized itself already. I have no regrets. I am on the defensive, I want to be left alone, this is my right, there are no actions of contact on my part since before the restraining order court date months ago. I know it wants contact to somehow legitimize itself, bet I will NEVER address it again. It is of NO consequence or importance in my life at any level, even if I die as a result from carrying this point of view.

I'm responsible only because I gave it the time of day and attempted to be somewhat supportive of its issues because I felt sorry for it...until I realized it created the issues and accepts no responsibility for the disastrous results, at which point I backed away. Can't help something that doesn't help itself. I was never the one pushing forward. It saw an open, friendly door, and latched on like a cancerous barnacle.

My active approach will be through legal channels only. I find this whole mess disgusting, unfair, scary, and I try to put it out of my mind (very successfully most of the time I might add). Somehow it sounds like you feel I bear more responsibility than I feel I do. I understand that, it seems 'everything can be talked out and solved'. This is not the case here. This is an incomplete, obsessive personality that only has one outcome in it's mind. Period. There's no reasoning with that. I need legal protection, and documented. After that, whatever it does, is for the history books. Life is short and I won't contribute to the uglification in my life.

Maybe this is a bit more extreme than what others have gone through. I've heard of it, but never paid much attention. I'm sharing this because it is such a crazy and impossible situation with virtually no possible 'win'.

Be careful out there.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: tjcaustin on Sat, 22 September 2012, 16:17:40
I didn't dehumanize it, the creature has dehumanized itself already. I have no regrets. I am on the defensive, I want to be left alone, this is my right, there are no actions of contact on my part since before the restraining order court date months ago. I know it wants contact to somehow legitimize itself, bet I will NEVER address it again. It is of NO consequence or importance in my life at any level, even if I die as a result from carrying this point of view.

I'm responsible only because I gave it the time of day and attempted to be somewhat supportive of its issues because I felt sorry for it...until I realized it created the issues and accepts no responsibility for the disastrous results, at which point I backed away. Can't help something that doesn't help itself. I was never the one pushing forward. It saw an open, friendly door, and latched on like a cancerous barnacle.

My active approach will be through legal channels only. I find this whole mess disgusting, unfair, scary, and I try to put it out of my mind (very successfully most of the time I might add). Somehow it sounds like you feel I bear more responsibility than I feel I do. I understand that, it seems 'everything can be talked out and solved'. This is not the case here. This is an incomplete, obsessive personality that only has one outcome in it's mind. Period. There's no reasoning with that. I need legal protection, and documented. After that, whatever it does, is for the history books. Life is short and I won't contribute to the uglification in my life.

Maybe this is a bit more extreme than what others have gone through. I've heard of it, but never paid much attention. I'm sharing this because it is such a crazy and impossible situation with virtually no possible 'win'.

Be careful out there.

It's a super scary scenario that I was in recently as well.  Just hope she doesn't do what mine did and try to claim that she's pregnant.  Even though it's clearly a lie, it's more drama and issues.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sat, 22 September 2012, 16:34:16
Hahaha!  I'd LOVE to see THAT immaculate conception-devil-baby pop out! That would prove the extent of the lies.

I'm sorry you have a similar nasty issue. I can tell it's substantially different than mine...you obviously had a 'relationship'...hence your lack of understanding with my confusion and frustration. The actions I'm seeing are like that of a jilted long term lover. Totally crazy.

Someone said this to me, and I think I'm going to listen: "It's only as much of a problem as you allow it to be." I guess if I take the stand that I disavow and ignore, basically pokerface it...at least it won't occupy my time/energy and at some point it will end. The more I acknowledge it (good or bad), legitimizes it and the more impact it can have on the world around me. A couple more actions on my part to distance, change, insulate, and protect, plus time...and pokerface it is. The truth is I'll forget about it like a rash once it's gone.

I'm not buying drama, so no point in someone trying to sell it to me.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: tjcaustin on Sat, 22 September 2012, 17:16:25
Hahaha!  I'd LOVE to see THAT immaculate conception-devil-baby pop out! That would prove the extent of the lies.

I'm sorry you have a similar nasty issue. I can tell it's substantially different than mine...you obviously had a 'relationship'...hence your lack of understanding with my confusion and frustration. The actions I'm seeing are like that of a jilted long term lover. Totally crazy.

Someone said this to me, and I think I'm going to listen: "It's only as much of a problem as you allow it to be." I guess if I take the stand that I disavow and ignore, basically pokerface it...at least it won't occupy my time/energy and at some point it will end. The more I acknowledge it (good or bad), legitimizes it and the more impact it can have on the world around me. A couple more actions on my part to distance, change, insulate, and protect, plus time...and pokerface it is. The truth is I'll forget about it like a rash once it's gone.

I'm not buying drama, so no point in someone trying to sell it to me.
I think you have me confused, I completely understand your mentality.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sat, 22 September 2012, 17:25:23
I'm referring to:
Having a relationship with someone and stopping is easier to understand their obsessive refusal to let it go and the subsequent hounding that follows. It definitely takes both to create this situation.

Not being involved with someone at that level, but still having the same crazy obsession and pursuit... my lack of desire to engage it to try and resolve it...it only took me being like I am with anyone else at any given time and this garbage started.... so my lack of initial input is what fuels my belief that I shouldn't put any effort into a direct contact resolution. This is about contact and less about the content of the contact.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Drakan290 on Sat, 22 September 2012, 18:30:27
This honestly seems like something you can go to a medical professional with, and get her declared mentally ill..
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: tp4tissue on Sat, 22 September 2012, 18:39:38
This honestly seems like something you can go to a medical professional with, and get her declared mentally ill..

I see you didn't read the whole thread, the story goes, the stalker female is already on pills, on/off her whole life.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sat, 22 September 2012, 18:40:04
EGG-zactly
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Drakan290 on Sat, 22 September 2012, 19:14:10
This honestly seems like something you can go to a medical professional with, and get her declared mentally ill..

I see you didn't read the whole thread, the story goes, the stalker female is already on pills, on/off her whole life.

No, I understand pills. This is destructive behaviour and is endangering other people. That is something totally different than depression/bipolarism/OCD.

She could probably be committed if you file a police report saying a mentally ill woman broke into your house/stole your financial information/is running amuk with your SSN

Seriously, you're being way too passive with this. There are so many more outlets to explore.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: tp4tissue on Sat, 22 September 2012, 19:34:49
This honestly seems like something you can go to a medical professional with, and get her declared mentally ill..

I see you didn't read the whole thread, the story goes, the stalker female is already on pills, on/off her whole life.

No, I understand pills. This is destructive behaviour and is endangering other people. That is something totally different than depression/bipolarism/OCD.

She could probably be committed if you file a police report saying a mentally ill woman broke into your house/stole your financial information/is running amuk with your SSN

Seriously, you're being way too passive with this. There are so many more outlets to explore.

I also find this portion as somewhat of a disconnect in the story.

If the women did illegally perpetrate your accounts/savings/ 401k/ How could there possibly be no evidence of it, of which you can use against her in the court.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sat, 22 September 2012, 19:53:56
I had the police involved. The proof it stole anything wasn't all clearly there, but I now have texts printed out admitting to being in my house, while threatening me. I initially wasn't going to go down that path, but now my feeling sorry is changing to anger and frustration.

As far as the financial portion, that has been dealt with, mostly.

It's the harassment that is the issue now.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: SmallFry on Sat, 22 September 2012, 22:00:15
I hope that things can clear up for you IN. I really really do. We are here for your support... at least I am.

On a note to hopefully cheer you up, what do you get when you get when you add a potato to a penis?---A ****-Tater!
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: tp4tissue on Sun, 23 September 2012, 03:05:32
I had the police involved. The proof it stole anything wasn't all clearly there, but I now have texts printed out admitting to being in my house, while threatening me. I initially wasn't going to go down that path, but now my feeling sorry is changing to anger and frustration.

As far as the financial portion, that has been dealt with, mostly.

It's the harassment that is the issue now.

So how is she "not" already in jail, for vandalizing your finances. That doesn't make any sense. People go to jail for much much less.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sun, 23 September 2012, 10:09:13
I had the damn thing arrested.

The stalking is part obsession, part retribution. The messages vacillate wildly between wanting to be amicable to anger over what happened. Depends on time of day/drunk or not when sending.

I'm having to produce quite a bit for the DA, who is pressing the charges. After this happened, I was wiped out and started working 65 hours a week out of town, so many details had to be delayed. Then, I was falsely accused of doing ALL the things that were done to me...which is now shown to not be the case, but took some major emotional energy to deal with.

This whole experience has been emotionally, financially, and patience draining. Initially I was fired up to solve this, but dealing with the slow wheels of the system was very frustrating, as a result at this point I've become somewhat passive...I've had to put food on the table and a roof over my head...it's been a struggle. Maybe you can see why I want to walk away at this point, be left alone, and start over. I'm exhausted. I can't have a real relationship with someone with garbage like this polluting my life, I can't really relax/feel secure. I get a text and my anxiety level shoots up. On a personal level I really need a closing action, then my healing and time can begin. It doesn't feel much different than the time this started....I need to resolve this and move forward. The posting the last day or so has really made it clear to me that somehow, some way this needs to either be ended or put away in a place it doesn't have such an effect on me. Life is so short, in the end none of the stupid things that happen mean anything and it's a sad waste of life to spend dealing with it. It's sad.

Also, understand...justice costs money and time and energy and can be very unpleasant. I'm short on all, and it's been extremely unpleasant. I won't mention the incredibly scary thoughts that have gone through my head, alone, late at night when I couldn't sleep, with all the windows in my house screwed permanently shut. The thoughts of failing, not being able to pay what I owe to everybody, the realization I was less than 30 days from being homeless, carless, losing all my 'stuff', businesses being mad at me, destroyed credit. I actually went 24 hours hungry. Yea, that was rough. The thoughts I had in my head were not thoughts anyone should have, I was surprised I would have those types of thoughts. That's the entire reason why I had started this thread, to bring a level of awareness and maybe at one tiny level that may help someone in some way. So they don't think or do what was in my head. Nothing in the world is worth that. Being a victim sucks.

My path:
After 24 hours being hungry:
An out of state friend ordered me $50 of home delivery pizza that lasted 3 days. Then:
I borrowed $40 for gas/food from a brand new co-worker the first week. Then:
I took an advance after a week of work. Then:
I sold my Datahand/equip. immediately for the discount price of $1200. Then:
I got my first paycheck.
Sadly, the emergency job I took didn't pay enough for me to 'make it' and I worked 12 hours daily, 6 days a week just to stop sliding down.
I'm still juggling bills, behind with everything, selling things, reduced all spending/overhead to below minimum.

I went from a 6 figure income to begging for food. The penthouse to the outhouse. I'm way past the humiliation. It was survival. Would have been a tough change to try and earn income without the benefit of a safe place to sleep, shower, poop, and regroup daily. How would I have been able to do a good job at anything? I'm sure if I had lost the roof over my head, the rebuilding wound be greatly delayed and much more difficult. I live in a small tourist town, not a lot of easy opportunities to jump into. Even though it was a beautiful life in such a great place, the lack of potential depth has caused me to rethink, and as a result, move to the big city for greater opportunity/more contacts should anything take a dip for the worse in the future.

I just don't want anyone else to suffer with the horrific and frightening state of mind I had for a few weeks. I will take another 6 months to grow and heal past that nasty, scary time.


EDIT:
In short, this has been far more about my immediate mental health and overall survival, than anything else. If I can be ok today, then I can pursue the past crime more aggressively with the DA. If I'm completely devastated, not much satisfaction if I'm homeless, no phone, etc. Priorities.

Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sun, 23 September 2012, 10:48:19
I hope that things can clear up for you IN. I really really do. We are here for your support... at least I am.

On a note to hopefully cheer you up, what do you get when you get when you add a potato to a penis?---A ****-Tater!

REALLY???????

LOL
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: tp4tissue on Sun, 23 September 2012, 18:10:51
I had the damn thing arrested.

The stalking is part obsession, part retribution. The messages vacillate wildly between wanting to be amicable to anger over what happened. Depends on time of day/drunk or not when sending.

I'm having to produce quite a bit for the DA, who is pressing the charges. After this happened, I was wiped out and started working 65 hours a week out of town, so many details had to be delayed. Then, I was falsely accused of doing ALL the things that were done to me...which is now shown to not be the case, but took some major emotional energy to deal with.

This whole experience has been emotionally, financially, and patience draining. Initially I was fired up to solve this, but dealing with the slow wheels of the system was very frustrating, as a result at this point I've become somewhat passive...I've had to put food on the table and a roof over my head...it's been a struggle. Maybe you can see why I want to walk away at this point, be left alone, and start over. I'm exhausted. I can't have a real relationship with someone with garbage like this polluting my life, I can't really relax/feel secure. I get a text and my anxiety level shoots up. On a personal level I really need a closing action, then my healing and time can begin. It doesn't feel much different than the time this started....I need to resolve this and move forward. The posting the last day or so has really made it clear to me that somehow, some way this needs to either be ended or put away in a place it doesn't have such an effect on me. Life is so short, in the end none of the stupid things that happen mean anything and it's a sad waste of life to spend dealing with it. It's sad.

Also, understand...justice costs money and time and energy and can be very unpleasant. I'm short on all, and it's been extremely unpleasant. I won't mention the incredibly scary thoughts that have gone through my head, alone, late at night when I couldn't sleep, with all the windows in my house screwed permanently shut. The thoughts of failing, not being able to pay what I owe to everybody, the realization I was less than 30 days from being homeless, carless, losing all my 'stuff', businesses being mad at me, destroyed credit. I actually went 24 hours hungry. Yea, that was rough. The thoughts I had in my head were not thoughts anyone should have, I was surprised I would have those types of thoughts. That's the entire reason why I had started this thread, to bring a level of awareness and maybe at one tiny level that may help someone in some way. So they don't think or do what was in my head. Nothing in the world is worth that. Being a victim sucks.

My path:
After 24 hours being hungry:
An out of state friend ordered me $50 of home delivery pizza that lasted 3 days. Then:
I borrowed $40 for gas/food from a brand new co-worker the first week. Then:
I took an advance after a week of work. Then:
I sold my Datahand/equip. immediately for the discount price of $1200. Then:
I got my first paycheck.
Sadly, the emergency job I took didn't pay enough for me to 'make it' and I worked 12 hours daily, 6 days a week just to stop sliding down.
I'm still juggling bills, behind with everything, selling things, reduced all spending/overhead to below minimum.

I went from a 6 figure income to begging for food. The penthouse to the outhouse. I'm way past the humiliation. It was survival. Would have been a tough change to try and earn income without the benefit of a safe place to sleep, shower, poop, and regroup daily. How would I have been able to do a good job at anything? I'm sure if I had lost the roof over my head, the rebuilding wound be greatly delayed and much more difficult. I live in a small tourist town, not a lot of easy opportunities to jump into. Even though it was a beautiful life in such a great place, the lack of potential depth has caused me to rethink, and as a result, move to the big city for greater opportunity/more contacts should anything take a dip for the worse in the future.

I just don't want anyone else to suffer with the horrific and frightening state of mind I had for a few weeks. I will take another 6 months to grow and heal past that nasty, scary time.


EDIT:
In short, this has been far more about my immediate mental health and overall survival, than anything else. If I can be ok today, then I can pursue the past crime more aggressively with the DA. If I'm completely devastated, not much satisfaction if I'm homeless, no phone, etc. Priorities.



Was that six figures with a 1, or a 3+ in the left most digit. I don't see how sharing that would be a problem, since you don't make it currently.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Sun, 23 September 2012, 22:14:51
Almost always a 1, lol. but 3 years with a 3, and about 5-6 with a 2. I have the ability to make a comeback. Today I lack connections and the opportunity. Or at least I THINK I lack these things. Just need a few baby steps to get re-situated. Definitely need to be in the correct arena to pull those dollars. I'm a team kinda guy.

I wrote a letter to a group of friends recently...about how any of us may have already earned more than we may ever earn again, and to see the bigger picture of life. I wrote that in reference to me being wiped out financially in hopes they would more strongly consider my outlook that it didn't really matter.

Odd, I feel stupider and less capable than ever before... I hope I don't value myself by the income I earn :(

I may be chopping wood for a portion of this coming week at $10 hourly, the tree trimmer working today where I live needed help and I busted my hump cutting and hauling. While 2 other jobs are slooooooly considering me for employment. Life goes on....
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: JustCallMeCrash on Thu, 27 September 2012, 10:26:37
Tough year,man!  (between this and Smoochie)  Here's looking up, IN... hope you get back on your feet quickly.  We're all pulling for you.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: mmmty on Thu, 27 September 2012, 12:07:36
Good luck, input nirv!!!
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Fri, 28 September 2012, 00:05:57
Thanks guys.

I cry about Smooch. The loss is one issue, then I have guilt that I didn't take him to vet sooner. He had a bacterial infection that took him down and he passed from organ failure. People have consoled me with 'life happens', which I understand, but doesn't alleviate my guilt that I could have and should have been more attentive and aware of the tiny signs that there may have been a problem. Hell, go to the vet anyhow, for no reason, just do it. It's only money. Oh, yea, I've been near financial ruin since summer '11, which has affected Smoochie and other things :(

I would do anything. ANYTHING. To change what happened to Smoochie. anything.

And, the stalker stuff. I'm not afraid for my safety anymore, nor about what it can try to do contacting people, or eventually gaining access to whatever info/accounts/job/etc. I'm over it and the only power it has is what ever power I give it in my life. Other than my social security number (which can be changed) I have no more exposure or liability than anyone else in any other situation. But if another legal line is crossed, I'll do everything I can and pursue to the full extent of the law, even if it accomplishes nothing for me but punishes or puts another black mark on the stalkers record. It's already stuck in the legal system for at least 2 years as it is.

I'm making fundamental changes within myself, lifestyle, expectations, performance and I hope to re-establish myself by the end of the year. Then start to make a new life plan (I don't have one now), if you don't plan, nothing happens. And no more taking things for granted.

You guys more careful than I was with who I hired and/or let in to my life. I had a lot of good things going on and people knew it. I didn't protect it enough and let it slowly get downgraded. No one to blame for that but myself. Lessons learned.

I have a few good things happening right now that should put the ball in motion to start pulling out of this. Finally.
Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: fohat.digs on Fri, 28 September 2012, 08:48:33
This thread has really saddened me, but maybe the light is finally visible at the end of the tunnel.

You have established a high ground for yourself with the arrest, from there on out everything will be "public" which may be embarrassing but you have defended yourself appropriately, morally and legally.

Clearly this has always been a mental health issue, and we can only hope that the State finally feels that her threat to society is great enough that it can afford to keep her off the streets for a long time.

Title: Re: Stalker drama
Post by: Input Nirvana on Fri, 28 September 2012, 21:01:10
I know I've whined and cried and complained a lot...some out of hopelessness, fear, confusion, anger and just not knowing what the heck to do. The whole mess is just so flipping CRAZY. I go over it in my head now and stop and think WTF? ??? But when your home, personal belongings, email, accounts, financial paperwork/contacts are compromised, and someone is contacting your work, people you know, etc....it can really mess with your head and how you see things. Keep in mind I have no family at all and no friends in the town I live in, everyone I know are time zones away...so a very solo existence, so when things go poorly, there is no one to fall back on. Everyone is a phone call or email away. It creates desperation, especially during painfully long and sleepless nights. You lose perspective. For me, it felt horrible, but in the end it's turned out to only be an expensive, hassle and emotional time waster. It was the fear that was so damaging. What has happened? Why is this happening? What will happen next? What do I do? Who can I trust? What more will I lose? How much worse can this be? FEAR SUCKS.

That's one reason I wrote this, so if ANYONE has a critical, or hopeless feeling, no matter how bizarre ( a freaking STALKER???), to know that you will get past it. I so hope no one ever has an issue like this, but I know someone will, and that makes me sad :(

The upside is that with all the people it contacted, they all contacted me to say what a nut job (some of these peeps I have not had contact with in years), so no personal damage (that I know of) had been done. I give credit and stand by my relationships with people, whether new friends or old...they know/knew me and have an element of trust that isn't shaken by a random accusation. Whew!

I perhaps should not have vented here as I have, and maybe should just close the thread. Again, we all need to be cautious of who we allow access into our lives, personal or professional, and also know that bad things can and will happen, you have to expect and be prepared that every day will not be a great day, some days are devastating, and all problems are relative. If I had not been financially zeroed out, things would have been easier and not nearly as desperate for me. I went hungry for 24 hours. That night I was going to go to McDonalds with the other bums and beg for food that they throw out in the dumpster at night. I was pretty hungry and had to go to work the next day. Fortunately, I didn't resort to that, but it's a fine option to keep in mind.

I need to put this behind me, and that's a conscience action that must take place (I promise to do that now)...it's so much easier when you are busy with work, misc. duties, friends, activities, and most of those things being positive...rather than to sit in fear and stew. My temporary work the last 4 months paid very little and was a toxic environment, so I'm glad that's over with. That has no helped the last couple months at all.

I got more calls/offers today, so again, more steps in the right direction. But I know this will still take till next year to completely flesh out and get squared away. And I may need to consider some counseling to address some of the thoughts I had that no one should ever have. Yuck. I was surprised, and not in a good way. I'm sure others could have handled this situation in a more positive way. The only way I saw to make a drastic change for my better, would have been to pick up and split, leaving everyone, bills, obligations hanging. I chose to not do that.

Thank you to everyone in this thread and PM....some very generous offers. I will not forget.

Sooooo......

BACK TO KEYBOARDS!