geekhack
geekhack Community => Off Topic => Topic started by: tp4tissue on Thu, 21 March 2013, 13:12:42
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At a friend's house, he's recently married..
Apparently, there's been a good deal of fighting ever since..
Pre-marriage, my friend had built a substantial gaming computer.. it was his "wifey"
So, post-marriage, the computer was officially dubbed "wife #2" while human wife was "wife #1"
I was over just this morning, and the human wife came home with the groceries..
My buddy walks over and asks her if she got the chips he wanted.
She responds: "Oh, did you want chips, that round tummy of yours told me otherwise.."
My buddy goes into an outrage, // hands flinging in the air
he remarks: "heggghhhhhhh, that's it, that's it.... you're not wife #1 anymore, from now on I'm having dinner with my real wife, and you can eat by yourself in that stupid dining room, with the stupid $6000 furniture..."
Human wife: "//cry, uuuggh..... you bastard.."
I just got a phone call, seems like wife #2 (the computer) might have to stay at my house for a whole month.. :cool:
though, arguably my personal wifey is better tuned for starcraft :))
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Your buddy doesn't seem to know where his priorities are (it's not the computer). funny though
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Your buddy doesn't seem to know where his priorities are (it's the computer). funny though
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Your buddy doesn't seem to know where his priorities are (it's not the computer). funny though
Well... they were probably fighting about the furniture...
Priorities, hmm.. IDK, I'm not married, so I'm not sure what to prioritize in this situation.. ???
the computer is pretty important, it's indispensable in modernity... You can't get away from it... ever
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Beer heals all wounds.
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Beer heals all wounds.
So does chloroform.
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My girlfriend always complains that I spend too much time with my computers ( I guess I'm a polygamist. lol ) That was also the Ex's major complaint. I see a small pattern here....
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My girlfriend has no problems with me being on my computer, it's in the living room so we are always together.
Y'all need to get better girlfriends.
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i pet my girlfriend when i'm behind a computer
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i pet my girlfriend when i'm behind a computer
is this some scary russian stuff?
like your gf is chained to some water main pipe in a basement, where your computer sits infront of?
and by GF you mean your kidnapped female childhood friend who rejected you when you proposed because of your economic situation..
:eek:
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i pet my girlfriend when i'm behind a computer
is this some scary russian stuff?
like your gf is chained to some water main pipe in a basement, where your computer sits infront of?
and by GF you mean your kidnapped female childhood friend who rejected you when you proposed because of your economic situation..
:eek:
No, I'm Russian. And my GF isn't chained to a waterpipe, or kidnapped. :D
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Your buddy doesn't seem to know where his priorities are (it's not the computer). funny though
This could be the case, but might not be. One of my best friends is married to someone who gives him a hard time when he snacks, is on the pc late at night or when he is out with his friends and comes home late. Now all of those things would make sense under some circumstances, but he is neither fat, nor is he a lazy insomniac or someone who is out at all hours. He accepts all of it, and it creates this unhealthy situation where he does the same thing to her. I don't think you need to be like that. Someone should not feel guilty for doing the things he likes to do. The person you are with should respect your hobby as long as it is not too far out of line or somehow destructive.
I am happy my girlfriend does not give a crap. She jokes about it when I am going "to a LAN-party" to her friends and things like that. But secretly she likes that I have things that make me happy like cycling, computers, chess, and football. I feel the same way about her hobbies. If she wants to stay out a weekend to go horse riding she has my @#$% blessing.
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i pet my girlfriend when i'm behind a computer
is this some scary russian stuff?
like your gf is chained to some water main pipe in a basement, where your computer sits infront of?
and by GF you mean your kidnapped female childhood friend who rejected you when you proposed because of your economic situation..
:eek:
No, I'm Russian. And my GF isn't chained to a waterpipe, or kidnapped. :D
I have a feeling that's the unanimous response on part of the whole kidnappers community. :D
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Your buddy doesn't seem to know where his priorities are (it's not the computer). funny though
This could be the case, but might not be. One of my best friends is married to someone who gives him a hard time when he snacks, is on the pc late at night or when he is out with his friends and comes home late. Now all of those things would make sense under some circumstances, but he is neither fat, nor is he a lazy insomniac or someone who is out at all hours. He accepts all of it, and it creates this unhealthy situation where he does the same thing to her. I don't think you need to be like that. Someone should not feel guilty for doing the things he likes to do. The person you are with should respect your hobby as long as it is not too far out of line or somehow destructive.
I am happy my girlfriend does not give a crap. She jokes about it when I am going "to a LAN-party" to her friends and things like that. But secretly she likes that I have things that make me happy like cycling, computers, chess, and football. I feel the same way about her hobbies. If she wants to stay out a weekend to go horse riding she has my @#$% blessing.
Horse riding.... is this a typical hobby in your proximity? hmm....... best stalk her one time just to make sure it's vanilla riding on vanilla horses. ;)
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i pet my girlfriend when i'm behind a computer
is this some scary russian stuff?
like your gf is chained to some water main pipe in a basement, where your computer sits infront of?
and by GF you mean your kidnapped female childhood friend who rejected you when you proposed because of your economic situation..
:eek:
what you described is some plain vanilla russian stuff. not scary at all!
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Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.
I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this was included with the product information. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Fishing 7.5, and Motorcycling 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
THE REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is due to a very common problem that generates many complaints. It is due to a primary misconception generally by male users. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that it is merely a “Utilities and Entertainment program”.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run everything! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and return to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating systems files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained.
It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to disallow this.
Some have tried Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than in the original system. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under “Warnings - Alimony/Child Support.” I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation.
I suggest installing the background application C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest that you read the entire section regarding “General Partnership Faults (GPFs).” You must assume all responsibility for any faults and problems that occur, regardless of their cause. You will also find that GPF’s are cyclical. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. Avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 (which replaces Burn It 1.0), Trash 4.0, and Do Bills 4.2.
You must, however, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 should this happen.
WARNING! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
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Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.
I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this was included with the product information. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Fishing 7.5, and Motorcycling 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
THE REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is due to a very common problem that generates many complaints. It is due to a primary misconception generally by male users. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that it is merely a “Utilities and Entertainment program”.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run everything! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and return to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating systems files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained.
It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to disallow this.
Some have tried Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than in the original system. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under “Warnings - Alimony/Child Support.” I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation.
I suggest installing the background application C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest that you read the entire section regarding “General Partnership Faults (GPFs).” You must assume all responsibility for any faults and problems that occur, regardless of their cause. You will also find that GPF’s are cyclical. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. Avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 (which replaces Burn It 1.0), Trash 4.0, and Do Bills 4.2.
You must, however, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 should this happen.
WARNING! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Win! ;D
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..... 404 creativity found...
GJ :D
Basically the moral of that story is Always stick with Girlfriend 7.0 and use it until the trial period expires (aka Commitment counter)..
And just get another box w/more trial period :p :p :p
The only useful software that comes with wife 1.0 seems to be cook it.exe , but honestly that is not worth the trouble. :))
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Just so you guys know, I did not write that myself, although I would be glad to take credit for it.
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i got a new matias quiet pro and complained to my girl that it's gritty. she googled the switch, found its disassembling instruction and told me i must lube the switches.
15 minutes before that she didn't know mechanical keyboards existed.
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i got a new matias quiet pro and complained to my girl that it's gritty. she googled the switch, found its disassembling instruction and told me i must lube the switches.
15 minutes before that she didn't know mechanical keyboards existed.
well if you chain a girl to the water main in a basement in front of the computer, she's bound to become quite proficient. :D
Russia- standard practice :))
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you'd look very nice in my basement, my dear friend, in a cage made of realforce junk parts!
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you'd look very nice in my basement, my dear friend, in a cage made of realforce junk parts!
real force parts are rubbish and of inferior quality to filco// all other cherry keyboards...
No realforce cage can hold me... ;D
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you'd look very nice in my basement, my dear friend, in a cage made of realforce junk parts!
real force parts are rubbish and of inferior quality to filco// all other cherry keyboards...
No realforce cage can hold me... ;D
Arguing like an old married couple, no?
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Oh man this thread making my day...
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you'd look very nice in my basement, my dear friend, in a cage made of realforce junk parts!
real force parts are rubbish and of inferior quality to filco// all other cherry keyboards...
No realforce cage can hold me... ;D
keycaps are really nice actually. and i will chain you to the waterpipe anyways!
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you'd look very nice in my basement, my dear friend, in a cage made of realforce junk parts!
real force parts are rubbish and of inferior quality to filco// all other cherry keyboards...
No realforce cage can hold me... ;D
keycaps are really nice actually. and i will chain you to the waterpipe anyways!
I would agree that the caps are average and better than filco..
What's scary is there are people out there with fantasies about "being captured and imprisoned" and living in a gimp suit makes them happy.. ???
I suppose being devoid of responsibility is aight.. but no video games, no tv shows, no movies...