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geekhack Community => Off Topic => Topic started by: noisyturtle on Wed, 17 April 2013, 16:46:14

Title: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: noisyturtle on Wed, 17 April 2013, 16:46:14: I've been hearing about this abomination for a few days now so I decided what the hell, my arteries could use a workout and ordered one up for lunch. When this beast arrived at my door, the delivery guy handed me my receipt which was coated in a thin shiny layer of grease that had pooled in one of the box corners and started to leak through. Oh boy, I thought, I'm in for a treat! Upon opening the box a waft of steam rose up hitting me square in the face, now it could've been the jalapeno and fatty oils that brought a tear to my eye, but I think there may have been some gluttonous joy mixed in there as well. The pizza itself was standard fare for Pizza Hut, stale mediocre toppings floating on a sea of D grade mozzarella and grease. But you don't order something called Crazy Crust for the pizza, and the crust was certainly crazy. Potato skin shaped boats of undercooked dough laden with what was easily half an inch of cheese pools oozing in all directions. My heart said no, literally, my heart seized up in horror at the mere sight of this thing, but my stomach said yes yes yes!

I decided to do the appropriate thing and pull off one of the cheese boats first. I must admit, the thing was pure bliss upon the first bite. Wads of pure dairy spurted hot grease in my mouth making a noise not unlike that of a toddler waddling around in a full diaper. I hardly even noticed the grease burns in my mouth as the cheese created a thick coat of protection in my oral cavity. This must be the American dream, I thought, this is what we are fighting to protect! After just the first slice I started to feel ill, but pressed on for science. The second slice wasn't nearly as enjoyable, as my body had already consumed enough dairy to put a lactose intolerant person into a golden crusted coma. Upon the third piece my body started to actively reject this glorious achievement of culinary delight, but still I pressed on. The fourth and final slice things began to grow dark as my head danced with visions of cheese boats afloat on a river of cheese, with a mozzarella gondoliers piloting the godly vessels into my arteries. At this point everything went black, and as I lay on the floor belching, streams of grease dribbled down my cheek. A few moments passed before I realized the inevitable had arrived and rocked back and fourth like an overturned turtle to upright myself and shamefully crawl to the bathroom where I proceed to vomit violently.

All in all this was a good lunch, and if you consider your self up for some adventure in intestinal fortitude the Crazy Crust pizza is a worthy opponent. It's a once in a lifetime experience, no really, if you eat one of these bad boys more than once in your life you will likely keel over and die.
[attachimg=1]
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: Alessandro on Wed, 17 April 2013, 16:50:05: Love the review, but it's utterly disgusting nonetheless.
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: vun on Wed, 17 April 2013, 16:53:25: My only response is "**** you" because the only Pizza Hut in Norway is at an airport on the other side of the country.

So mad jelly.
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: noisyturtle on Wed, 17 April 2013, 16:54:01: In Saudi Arabia they got this monstrosity: A cheeseburger pizza with cheeseburgers in the crust.
[attachimg=1]
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: tjcaustin on Wed, 17 April 2013, 16:54:35: Cheese, bread, and garlic can never be combined incorrectly.
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: IvanIvanovich on Wed, 17 April 2013, 17:02:32: You're assuming they use any of those 3 things at Pizza Hut... bad assumption. It's all grease and artificial flavors.
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: funkymeeba on Wed, 17 April 2013, 17:04:35: It looks so disgusting, but yet, so beautiful. I must try it.
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: tjcaustin on Wed, 17 April 2013, 17:08:30: Quote from: IvanIvanovich on Wed, 17 April 2013, 17:02:32
You're assuming they use any of those 3 things at Pizza Hut... bad assumption. It's all grease and artificial flavors.

They do a good job of making me think it's cheese, bread and garlic, then.
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: mmmty on Wed, 17 April 2013, 17:13:53: I had meatball pizza from Subway last week. It was good!!
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: Findecanor on Wed, 17 April 2013, 19:50:35: My intestines (those I have left) are far too vulnerable for that pizza... My stomach aches in anxiety.

Quote from: vun on Wed, 17 April 2013, 16:53:25
My only response is "**** you" because the only Pizza Hut in Norway is at an airport on the other side of the country.
Well, in Norway you have smooth buns that are not filled and sprinkled with an excess of sugar. Believe it or not, but that's not that easy to find over here..
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: tp4tissue on Wed, 17 April 2013, 19:54:37: Quote from: Findecanor on Wed, 17 April 2013, 19:50:35
My intestines (those I have left) are far too vulnerable for that pizza... My stomach aches in anxiety.

Quote from: vun on Wed, 17 April 2013, 16:53:25
My only response is "**** you" because the only Pizza Hut in Norway is at an airport on the other side of the country.
Well, in Norway you have smooth buns that are not filled and sprinkled with an excess of sugar. Believe it or not, but that's not that easy to find over here..

OMG, I thought I was the only one to sprinkle my pizza with powder sugar.. :D
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: phetto on Wed, 17 April 2013, 20:01:58: (http://static.tumblr.com/6ksvijd/NEFljkd6v/tmnt-pizza.jpg)
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: tp4tissue on Wed, 17 April 2013, 20:51:21: Quote from: phetto on Wed, 17 April 2013, 20:01:58
Show Image
(http://static.tumblr.com/6ksvijd/NEFljkd6v/tmnt-pizza.jpg)

I knew American Obesity must've come from some-where..

Now, we know. :D
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: mushupork on Wed, 17 April 2013, 21:03:44: Quote from: Findecanor on Wed, 17 April 2013, 19:50:35

you have smooth buns
Thanks
Title: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: keymaster on Wed, 17 April 2013, 21:17:22: 5-star post
I've been meaning to try this thing. Perhaps when I'm really desperate and there's no food in the house.
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: dante on Wed, 17 April 2013, 21:21:41: You don't need to cut into that pizza; just fold it over like an Italian taco.
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: ekw808 on Wed, 17 April 2013, 21:28:38: Why is there green stuff and red discs on that cheeseburger pizza?
Title: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: phetto on Wed, 17 April 2013, 21:32:59: Bunny food
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: Krogenar on Wed, 17 April 2013, 21:57:48: Cut to the chase, America, and make a pizza with Big Macs as a topping.
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: tp4tissue on Thu, 18 April 2013, 03:00:25: Quote from: Krogenar on Wed, 17 April 2013, 21:57:48
Cut to the chase, America, and make a pizza with Big Macs as a topping.

You haven't seen EPIC MEAL TIME??
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: Krogenar on Thu, 18 April 2013, 06:47:06: Quote from: tp4tissue on Thu, 18 April 2013, 03:00:25
Quote from: Krogenar on Wed, 17 April 2013, 21:57:48
Cut to the chase, America, and make a pizza with Big Macs as a topping.

You haven't seen EPIC MEAL TIME??

Nope.

... wait, someone did this already? Big Macs as a pizza topping?

(Krog boards his personal escape spacecraft.)
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: esoomenona on Thu, 18 April 2013, 07:06:47: Quote from: tp4tissue on Thu, 18 April 2013, 03:00:25
Quote from: Krogenar on Wed, 17 April 2013, 21:57:48
Cut to the chase, America, and make a pizza with Big Macs as a topping.

You haven't seen EPIC MEAL TIME??
The official cooking show of America.
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: baldgye on Thu, 18 April 2013, 07:08:41: I wish we had the same level of Pizza scientists in the UK
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: BunnyLake on Thu, 18 April 2013, 07:11:41: Quote from: baldgye on Thu, 18 April 2013, 07:08:41
I wish we had the same level of Pizza scientists in the UK

we do

pizza hut ehre in the uk offers this

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Tbq4ZqqqanU/T4dTzei5MeI/AAAAAAAAAas/v0G8qXhOtrM/s1600/IMG_4779.JPG

hot dog stuffed crust glory
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: baldgye on Thu, 18 April 2013, 07:15:24: Do we have that crazy pizza shown in the OP ?
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: noisyturtle on Thu, 18 April 2013, 07:42:41: Quote from: esoomenona on Thu, 18 April 2013, 07:06:47
Quote from: tp4tissue on Thu, 18 April 2013, 03:00:25
Quote from: Krogenar on Wed, 17 April 2013, 21:57:48
Cut to the chase, America, and make a pizza with Big Macs as a topping.

You haven't seen EPIC MEAL TIME??
The official cooking show of America.
I will take the less popular opinion and say I prefer the all around good guys of Wreckless Eating. Check out their channel and stuff.
Title: Re: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: CPTBadAss on Thu, 18 April 2013, 08:19:30: Quote from: esoomenona on Thu, 18 April 2013, 07:06:47
Quote from: tp4tissue on Thu, 18 April 2013, 03:00:25
Quote from: Krogenar on Wed, 17 April 2013, 21:57:48
Cut to the chase, America, and make a pizza with Big Macs as a topping.

You haven't seen EPIC MEAL TIME??
The official cooking show of America.

Best part of this quote? The EMT guys are from Montreal or Quebec.
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: esoomenona on Thu, 18 April 2013, 08:21:46: I'm not sure what that matters. They belong to us now.
Title: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: phetto on Thu, 18 April 2013, 12:13:05: Why can't someone professional like halverson make a 'Post your Pizza' thread? ;P
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: tp4tissue on Thu, 18 April 2013, 12:40:40: It's weird in life, how you come across, "lose weight" threads, and then also "be a fattie" threads
Title: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: phetto on Thu, 18 April 2013, 13:04:21: You can eat 1 big fat American cheese meal a day and still be fit if you have a active lifestyle ;}
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: dante on Thu, 18 April 2013, 13:15:33: The garlic/cheesy garlic bread at Pizza Hut in the 80's/90's was really really good. It must have gotten axed when the transfat nazi's were out and about (and consequently was probably the secret ingredient that made them taste so good.)
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: tp4tissue on Thu, 18 April 2013, 15:09:57: And another thing... There are 16 'boats" on that pizza,, HOW HARD is it to octo-cut that thing,, they didn't even try... RAGE....
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: tjcaustin on Thu, 18 April 2013, 15:26:51: Oh god, I shouldn't have tried one of these...
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: keymaster on Thu, 18 April 2013, 15:29:41: Just ordered one of these now and I'm about to pick it up :p
I'll report back on my findings
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: tjcaustin on Thu, 18 April 2013, 15:33:23: Quote from: keymaster on Thu, 18 April 2013, 15:29:41
Just ordered one of these now and I'm about to pick it up :p
I'll report back on my findings

Stop at a maximum of four slices I beg of you.
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: jwaz on Thu, 18 April 2013, 15:53:23: this is like the novelty key caps of pizza
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: Halverson on Thu, 18 April 2013, 15:55:23: Glad I live in Canada, don't even want to try this. I would eat it all and undoubtedly go into cardiac arrest. Sharks no like grease.
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: tp4tissue on Thu, 18 April 2013, 15:59:18: Quote from: Halverson on Thu, 18 April 2013, 15:55:23
Glad I live in Canada, don't even want to try this. I would eat it all and undoubtedly go into cardiac arrest. Sharks no like grease.

actually, according to a separate post above, if you have the active lifestyle of a shark, of which needs to keep swimming or "stop breathing", then it is ok to pig out on the zas.
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: keymaster on Thu, 18 April 2013, 16:32:28: Quote from: tjcaustin on Thu, 18 April 2013, 15:33:23
Quote from: keymaster on Thu, 18 April 2013, 15:29:41
Just ordered one of these now and I'm about to pick it up :p
I'll report back on my findings

Stop at a maximum of four slices I beg of you.

This thing was an abomination...so much cheese...cant..move
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: esoomenona on Thu, 18 April 2013, 16:48:12: Is the bottom crust their thin, papery crust that becomes soggy with their pizza sauce or their thick, buttery crust?
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: blueasjim on Thu, 18 April 2013, 17:44:13: After seeing these reviews... I'm getting this. ASAP.
I live off pizza.
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: jalaj on Thu, 18 April 2013, 18:13:06: Looks like a good Man V Food challenge candidate. Adam can probably put away 3 with ease, the challenge should be 6 pies.
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: esoomenona on Thu, 18 April 2013, 18:14:01: Quote from: blueasjim on Thu, 18 April 2013, 17:44:13
After seeing these reviews... I'm getting this. ASAP.
I live off pizza.
I was hoping someone would answer my question because I'm about to pass a Pizza Hut. Guess I'll just stop, get one, and find out.
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: noisyturtle on Thu, 18 April 2013, 18:53:24: Quote from: esoomenona on Thu, 18 April 2013, 16:48:12
Is the bottom crust their thin, papery crust that becomes soggy with their pizza sauce or their thick, buttery crust?
They use a different crust for this pizza I think with little bumps on it. It somehow remains somewhat crispy while still leaking grease everywhere.
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: tp4tissue on Thu, 18 April 2013, 19:37:30: Just had it for dinner.. I got extra cheese plus version because that's the choice I usually get at Pzzhut... MISTAKE...

6 slices and I was DONE.....
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: esoomenona on Thu, 18 April 2013, 19:49:28: 6 tp! Geez, I only managed five. It's not as great as I was led to believe. It's alright. I think I would rather have a $5 Little Caesars pizza.
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: tp4tissue on Fri, 19 April 2013, 16:14:29: Quote from: esoomenona on Thu, 18 April 2013, 19:49:28
6 tp! Geez, I only managed five. It's not as great as I was led to believe. It's alright. I think I would rather have a $5 Little Caesars pizza.

First byte: mmm.. i'm gonna eat this whole pi by myself...mmm

2nd slice: oh yea, it's like i'm bathing in a tub of cheese

3rd slice: still great... eating the whole pi might be a challenge..

4th slice: pressure is on.....

5th slice: wooosaaaa.... concentrate, you can do this.....

6th slice: I'm drowning... oh god, //perspiration //panting

holds up 7th slice... ugh... hrrrr... //coca-cola // cough... // feel unmanly for Incomplete pizza challenge... :'(
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: mushupork on Fri, 19 April 2013, 19:27:23: well done TP ... I totally pictured Man v. Food as I read your account.
Title: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: Gupgup on Fri, 19 April 2013, 19:30:23: You guys need to take your reviewing skills to do some keyboards.. I'd probably purchase them right away! You make it sound amazing :p

Gupgup
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: ping111 on Fri, 19 April 2013, 23:21:23: Quote from: esoomenona on Thu, 18 April 2013, 07:06:47
The official cooking show of America.
Even though they're Canadians?
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: esoomenona on Sat, 20 April 2013, 14:53:26: Oh hush. Y'all like to always joke about America as the fattest country who eat everything and won't stop, and when I make a joke about them being official to that, now you want to keep them to yourselves?
Title: Re: Pizza Hut 'Crazy' Crust pizza: A review
Post by: TheProfosist on Sat, 20 April 2013, 15:15:13: I had that pizza on the first day it was out and was actally the first to get it in my city because i ordered it online when they didnt have the stuff up at the store yet or were offering it as their special. Though i only ate 3 pieces in one sitting. I still prefer stuffed crust which is the holy grail of fast food pizza. But I must say it was leagues better than the cheesy bites pizza as those bits are far too saltly.