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geekhack Community => Off Topic => Topic started by: moonprismpwr on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:23:03

Title: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: moonprismpwr on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:23:03: Long story short, Glissant has this sweet mx mini that I fell in love with. I looked over at him with puppy eyes, mumbling how much I really liked typing on it. "You're not getting that keyboard." was all he said. Not one to take no for an answer, I wrote a little story on notepad to try to convince him of our love. It was only meant to be for lols but then he liked it so much that told me to post it. So I hope, if you've read it, you'll be on my side and convince him that mx mini and I are meant to be together. I hope this isn't considered NSFW, it's just meant to be a funny story :)

The story:

"Mmm.." I moan as my fingers press down on your body.
The resistance sends shivers down my spine. I love the way you clink softly as I type away.
You're so sleek. So silent, so perfectly smooth. It's what first drew you to me.

I felt dirty as my chocmini was only a few inches away, forgotten and abandoned. I couldn't help
myself. You drew me to you with your metal case, your smooth black keyset, the splash of color on
the ctrl, shift, and alt keys. I bit my finger. Should I? Should I touch you? I tentatively touched
the "J"key. The resistance was beautiful. It felt fresh, new, springy, wonderful. I lost myself in
your keys, typing away, my fingers exploring you. I was far gone now, I couldn't stop. I couldn't
believe I had ever been with those Dell keyboards, or even that Choc Mini. It was wrong, it was so
wrong. It was you all this time I had been waiting for. It was you, with your soft tinkling sound,
your cushioned touch. It was you all this time that I was waiting for. I paused from my frenzy, my
lips parted, my fingers hovering over your perfect body. I wanted you. I would have to tell the Chocmini
somehow, but it was me and you from now on. I wanted you in my usb slot. I wanted your big pink
cable in my tight usb slot. In that moment, I knew I was gone.

I opened my usb slot. Your thick cable was in my hand, ready to be put in. I moaned as I pushed
you into the slot. The window popped up, installing the driver. My toes curled with anticipation. I was so
ready for this. It finished installing and my fingers touched you. Slowly, but then the pace
quickened. I moaned loudly at the smoothness and resistance of our typing. Together we made beautiful
music and words. Together we typed paragraphs, endless sonnets of passion. My wpm was reaching levels
it had never seen before. My heart was racing, my breath came out ragged, desperate. So close now.
So close so close so- aaaaah! I finished typing and slumped back into my chair, waves of ecstacy
flowing through me. You were amazing. You were just so...sensual.

I looked over at my chocmini with disdain.

"Get out." I muttered. "Just pack your cable and get the **** out."

It was me and you now, mx mini. Just us.
Title: Re: Glissants making me post this
Post by: Sifo on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:24:07: OH MY GOD

10/10
Title: Re: Glissants making me post this
Post by: Xenderwind on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:25:06: What the hell did I just read...
Title: Re: Glissants making me post this
Post by: Photekq on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:25:58: I feel sorry for the Choc.
Title: Re: Glissants making me post this
Post by: Glissant on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:26:48: I laughed at that story. So creative and tricky ;).
You're still not getting it though.
Title: Re: Glissants making me post this
Post by: Patchwrks on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:26:55: 10/10 would buy mx mini again
Title: Re: Glissants making me post this
Post by: esoomenona on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:27:18: Keyboards have never aroused me in such a way...
Title: Re: Glissants making me post this
Post by: nubbinator on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:27:23: (http://i.imgur.com/2QjmZKK.jpg)
Title: Re: Glissants making me post this
Post by: Sifo on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:27:43: Quote from: Glissant on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:26:48
I laughed at that story. So creative and tricky ;).
You're still not getting it though.

LMFAO
Title: Re: Glissants making me post this
Post by: CPTBadAss on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:29:28: ROFL. 11/10, would read again!
Title: Re: Glissants making me post this
Post by: RabRhee on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:32:36: Now I see what Wilde really meant about the love that dare not speak its name. And you didn't even use those little USB caps for protection....
Title: Re: Glissants making me post this
Post by: Techno Trousers on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:35:48: I'm spent!
Title: Re: Glissants making me post this
Post by: dorkvader on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:37:32: This is excellent! quite a good writeup.

Glissant, you'll have to give in and give her the mxmini and buy another for yourself. :p
Title: Re: Glissants making me post this
Post by: Glissant on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:39:56: Quote from: dorkvader on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:37:32
This is excellent! quite a good writeup.

Glissant, you'll have to give in and give her the mxmini and buy another for yourself. :p

Only if you give me one =p or buy my lz-gh.
That mx mini is mine. Even if I get couched.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: moonprismpwr on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:43:35: thank you for all the positive feedback guys! and for the support :) it looks like mx mini and I will have to elope together
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: YoungMichael88 on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:45:14: Quote from: RabRhee on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:32:36
Now I see what Wilde really meant about the love that dare not speak its name. And you didn't even use those little USB caps for protection....
I'm sure the USB had a shrink wrapped end for protection. But in all honesty, I need a smoke after reading that and I quit years ago.
Title: Re: Glissants making me post this
Post by: ApocalypseMaow on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:46:43: Quote from: Glissant on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:39:56
That mx mini is mine. Even if I get couched.
I fully support this!
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: RabRhee on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:51:54: Quote from: YoungMichael88 on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:45:14
Quote from: RabRhee on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:32:36
Now I see what Wilde really meant about the love that dare not speak its name. And you didn't even use those little USB caps for protection....
I'm sure the USB had a shrink wrapped end for protection. But in all honesty, I need a smoke after reading that and I quit years ago.

Lets hope the USB cable had protection so it could be bent round corners without breaking a core....
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: Yzeets on Sat, 20 July 2013, 23:06:10: my god I had no idea what I was reading but it became so good I lost myself in myself
Title: Re: Glissants making me post this
Post by: tjcaustin on Sat, 20 July 2013, 23:09:00: Quote from: Xenderwind on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:25:06
What the hell did I just read...

Pure weapons grade pornography.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: ninjadoc on Sat, 20 July 2013, 23:33:14: My god, keyboard porn! I think I have a "woody!"
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: The_Beast on Sat, 20 July 2013, 23:36:00: The last line sells it
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: ImaMoFoThief on Sat, 20 July 2013, 23:45:49: You should really consider writing a full short story about your love affair and he might reconsider!
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: Michael on Sat, 20 July 2013, 23:55:37: (http://i.imgur.com/PzN3V3T.gif)
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: MOZ on Sun, 21 July 2013, 00:04:21: Excellent read. KBPorn.

Glissant you have to give her the keyboard, can't you feel the passion, the love?
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: danielucf on Mon, 22 July 2013, 18:06:00: Just order a GON MX Mini moonprismpwr. Then you can get it in any color you want and you can make glissant jealous
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: clickclack on Mon, 22 July 2013, 18:09:00: Quote from: moonprismpwr on Sat, 20 July 2013, 22:23:03

"Mmm.." I moan...

If only Welly was still around. =P
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: mashby on Mon, 22 July 2013, 18:11:22: I think I need to lie down.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: Tarzan on Mon, 22 July 2013, 18:13:55: I'll be in my bunk.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: mashby on Mon, 22 July 2013, 18:17:37: Quote from: Greystoke on Mon, 22 July 2013, 18:13:55
I'll be in my bunk.

Better.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: Alessandro on Mon, 22 July 2013, 18:39:50: HGGGNNNNN!

:D
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: demik on Mon, 22 July 2013, 18:44:15: (http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbl0ea5Zfz1rqwyyoo1_500.gif)
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: oTurtlez on Mon, 22 July 2013, 18:49:17: I feel dirty after reading that. That being said, 10/10, would publish if I were a publisher.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: Lastpilot on Mon, 22 July 2013, 18:54:33: (http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/576/575/c77.gif)

I like a dis.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: phetto on Mon, 22 July 2013, 18:56:59: get this lady a mx mini already!!!
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: eth0s on Mon, 22 July 2013, 18:58:38: All I can say is: good thing it wasn't a Topre, the ecstasy might have killer her.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: Alessandro on Mon, 22 July 2013, 19:00:57: And if it was BS?
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: Glissant on Mon, 22 July 2013, 19:36:38: I can assure everyone that BS does nothing for her. I doubt topper can beat the love she has for this mx-mini. They are planning to elope; they don't think I know.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: esoomenona on Mon, 22 July 2013, 19:38:43: It's obvious you need to get her a MY board if you want your crappy MX Mini back. But then you're guaranteed to lose your wife. Your choice.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: tjcaustin on Mon, 22 July 2013, 19:45:29: Quote from: esoomenona on Mon, 22 July 2013, 19:38:43
It's obvious you need to get her a MY board if you want your crappy MX Mini back. But then you're guaranteed to lose your wife. Your choice.

Please stop filling this man's head with your blatant and obvious lies. What will save him is more cowbell.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: CommunistWitchDr on Mon, 22 July 2013, 19:47:51: Better give her the keyboard before she elopes with it and you lose them both.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: alosec on Mon, 22 July 2013, 20:20:01: Reminds me of Bloodninja's trolling in NSFW chatrooms.. He would pretend to cyber with random people and then ruin it in some way/become a wizard.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: esoomenona on Mon, 22 July 2013, 20:23:27: Quote from: alosec on Mon, 22 July 2013, 20:20:01
Reminds me of Bloodninja's trolling in NSFW chatrooms.. He would pretend to cyber with random people and then ruin it in some way/become a wizard.

I can just tell you've never even put on your robe and wizard hat.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: JPG on Mon, 22 July 2013, 20:28:28: At least, don't tell her about the GH65++ and it's MULTIPLE layouts!

With it, she could choose her layout of choice :p
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: Glissant on Mon, 22 July 2013, 20:33:22: Look what I caught when I came home
(http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/07/23/u5uhudaz.jpg)
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: ApocalypseMaow on Mon, 22 July 2013, 20:37:23: Quote from: Glissant on Mon, 22 July 2013, 20:33:22
Look what I caught when I came home
Show Image
(http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/07/23/u5uhudaz.jpg)

lol
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: moonprismpwr on Mon, 22 July 2013, 20:40:23: We're eloping now.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: CPTBadAss on Mon, 22 July 2013, 20:41:44: This thread just got amazing. Been laughing so hard
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: esoomenona on Mon, 22 July 2013, 20:44:12: GET THE CMYK BACK BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. You can still put that on a G81...
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: jdcarpe on Mon, 22 July 2013, 20:45:25: But Glissant, you have Epsilon now. You really should give poor moonprismpwr the MX Mini. It's only fair. :P
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: Sai on Mon, 22 July 2013, 21:01:00: l like reading this post. So, Glissant you should give mxmini to Moonprismpwr.

P.S you both are so cute. ;D ;D
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: rowdy on Mon, 22 July 2013, 21:37:15: You guys are great :)

I needed a smile after the recent clask sale.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: tadbitnerdy on Tue, 23 July 2013, 00:20:32: That story was great! And it looks like the story just continues through the thread. Pure epic-ness!
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: Sniping on Tue, 23 July 2013, 00:37:02: im 8 and what is this
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: Michael on Tue, 23 July 2013, 00:42:26: (http://imgur.com/ueUJ173.jpg)
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: korrelate on Tue, 23 July 2013, 00:46:24: LOL. Isn't it funny and great that something as apparently simple and under-appreciated as a keyboard can inspire things like this?
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: tipo33 on Tue, 23 July 2013, 00:47:16: I read this when I got to work and looked down at the Dell I have to use in discust... Can't wait to get home to my keyboard lover.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: Alessandro on Tue, 23 July 2013, 01:26:58: 11/10 thread.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: baldgye on Tue, 23 July 2013, 04:09:58: The best thing about this thread, is the title.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: iri on Tue, 23 July 2013, 05:05:20: Quote from: baldgye on Tue, 23 July 2013, 04:09:58
The best thing about this thread, is the title.
+1 :))
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: elton5354 on Tue, 23 July 2013, 05:09:42: (http://t.qkme.me/3qnwbk.jpg)
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: jil_jil32 on Tue, 23 July 2013, 05:54:08: This is the most funny thread I've read at GH lol
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: rowdy on Tue, 23 July 2013, 05:55:39: The best part about this thread is this thread :)
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: domoaligato on Thu, 01 August 2013, 01:03:48: this has to be the best thread I have read in off topic so far.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: foxer on Thu, 01 August 2013, 04:29:36: AWKWARD BONER.

No, I kid. That was funny! :D
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: TheSoulhunter on Mon, 19 August 2013, 01:30:43: Somehow I feel dirty now for having many keyboards and switching between em as I like :3
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: Melvang on Mon, 19 August 2013, 01:34:58: Dear God please don't let my wife find this thread when she joins.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: jwaz on Mon, 19 August 2013, 01:38:21: I don't see anything NSFW about that. True love.
Title: Re: Glissant's making me post this
Post by: rowdy on Mon, 19 August 2013, 01:39:42: Quote from: Melvang on Mon, 19 August 2013, 01:34:58
Dear God please don't let my wife find this thread when she joins.

:))

This certainly shows an alternative aspect to Geekhack!