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geekhack Community => Off Topic => Topic started by: henz on Mon, 06 July 2015, 02:02:58

Title: TP thread
Post by: henz on Mon, 06 July 2015, 02:02:58
Topic is inspired by the recent hunterangel topic and the all the 100 other tp4 threads :)

A question: When you wipe your ass after going to the toilet, how many squares of toilet paper do you use each wipe, and how do you fold it? There are probably some which don't have compartmentalized(google couldn't find a better word) toilet paper, you can guesstimate.

i myself(a bit ocd ish) takes three and folds from left and then from right, perfect!

Also: Are there any toilet paper origamists out there ?
picture stolen from the internet, i have no idea how to do this :P
(http://i529.photobucket.com/albums/dd339/Shadyshadylady/craftjunk.jpg)
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: azhdar on Mon, 06 July 2015, 02:08:12
No rules for me, I just make sure there's enough paper so I don't touch the poop.

While we're on this topic, do you guys stand or sit to wipe?


I was a stand wipper for all my life until I discovered that some sit to wipe, and It's so much better.
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: hwood34 on Mon, 06 July 2015, 02:10:17
4 sections, fold in half to 2, wipe, fold again, wipe again. also, charmin ultra soft with aloe is literally the only acceptable toilet paper.
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: C5Allroad on Mon, 06 July 2015, 02:11:10

I begin to go to the potty. Once I'm done, I pull about 10 squares, fold in the middle, and use one square per wipe. So effectively making it a 4 ply roll.
I do this so I don't give a quick poke to myself while wiping.
 
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: fanpeople on Mon, 06 July 2015, 02:44:08
I was a stand wipper for all my life until I discovered that some sit to wipe, and It's so much better.

Wait, what. There are standing wipers? How the what?

How many standing wipers are there? I didn't know that was a thing?

Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: henz on Mon, 06 July 2015, 03:07:18
4 sections, fold in half to 2, wipe, fold again, wipe again. also, charmin ultra soft with aloe is literally the only acceptable toilet paper.
talk about using every bit of paper, NICE!
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: FreeCopy on Mon, 06 July 2015, 03:27:38
4 sections, fold in half to 2, wipe, fold again, wipe again. also, charmin ultra soft with aloe is literally the only acceptable toilet paper.

+1 for Charmin. Just got over a budget pack. Never again. I'll use my own socks before buying anything other than Charmin again.

This is also my method of paper usage. Sitting wiper.

I have to be up for work in less than 4 hours and this is what I'm up logging in to respond to. My priorities are **** ;)
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: henz on Mon, 06 July 2015, 04:24:21
I was a stand wipper for all my life until I discovered that some sit to wipe, and It's so much better.

Wait, what. There are standing wipers? How the what?

How many standing wipers are there? I didn't know that was a thing?
Maybe its a french thing :)
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: Air tree on Mon, 06 July 2015, 05:06:07
I'm American and I'm guilty of the stand and  wipe technique...
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: fanpeople on Mon, 06 July 2015, 05:08:11
I'm American and I'm guilty of the stand and  wipe technique...

But that is your right as an American!
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: rowdy on Mon, 06 July 2015, 06:17:51
Just remember that not all cultures use toilet paper.
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: henz on Mon, 06 July 2015, 06:27:17
Just remember that not all cultures use toilet paper.

what are you implying, wash and go? leaves?
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: fanpeople on Mon, 06 July 2015, 06:32:34
Just remember that not all cultures use toilet paper.

what are you implying, wash and go? leaves?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bidet

get cultured  ;)
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: henz on Mon, 06 July 2015, 06:34:37
Just remember that not all cultures use toilet paper.

what are you implying, wash and go? leaves?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bidet

get cultured  ;)

thats what i meant with wash and go. Im half portugese, and i grew up with one at home. There is also a japanese toilet which washes your bum at the toilet seat
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: fanpeople on Mon, 06 July 2015, 06:38:29
Just remember that not all cultures use toilet paper.

what are you implying, wash and go? leaves?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bidet

get cultured  ;)

thats what i meant with wash and go. Im half portugese, and i grew up with one at home. There is also a japanese toilet which washes your bum at the toilet seat

ah wash and go I get it, I have a Romanian friend and when his dad got back from travelling he had them installed in his house. Then called my friend disgusting  for continuing to use uncivilised paper to wipe. 
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: demik on Mon, 06 July 2015, 06:56:59
Baby wipes / shower > TP

You guys are nasty
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: ccarlitos2 on Mon, 06 July 2015, 07:02:30
Being in college and living in a fraternity house I have no control over my toilet paper :( I am subjected to the awfulness of ****ty 2-ply.
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: henz on Mon, 06 July 2015, 07:25:08
i know 1 person which wipes first, then washes the bum in the sink.
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: fanpeople on Mon, 06 July 2015, 07:27:16
i know 1 person which wipes first, then washes the bum in the sink.

In other peoples sinks?
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: Lurch on Mon, 06 July 2015, 07:56:28
Baby wipes / shower > TP

You guys are nasty

baby wipes ftw. two passes with tp, one pass with bw, another pass with tp

so fresh and so clean clean
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: katushkin on Mon, 06 July 2015, 07:57:05
Three. No folding, just scrunching it up for maximum coverage.
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: henz on Mon, 06 July 2015, 09:37:49
i know 1 person which wipes first, then washes the bum in the sink.

In other peoples sinks?

Juup
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: bazh on Mon, 06 July 2015, 09:39:08
23, fold in desired length, wipes on walls, unfold and rolls, throw to a random toilet's corner and watch it roll back to original length, pick it up and put to the toilet, then say **** to the paper and use a hand bidet
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: Computer-Lab in Basement on Mon, 06 July 2015, 10:05:15
Baby wipes / shower > TP

You guys are nasty

get a bidet
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: absyrd on Mon, 06 July 2015, 10:19:38
My DIY bidet:

(http://www.isoaker.com/Armoury/Analysis/1998/CPS1000_images/iS_supersoaker_cps1000_01.jpg)
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: Latin00032 on Mon, 06 July 2015, 11:12:56
I use 1 ply. I can control the amount of tp I use better. I'm always concerned that I going to clog the toilet.

I fold, too. No scrunching.

I fold about 12-ish squares for the first wipe. If it isnt too messy, I reduce it to about 10 or 8 squares.

I hate when the first wipe looks clean. You still wipe 1 or 2 more times anyway cause you think you "missed" your butt hole.
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: Computer-Lab in Basement on Mon, 06 July 2015, 11:14:52
tp thread is tp thread
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: absyrd on Mon, 06 July 2015, 11:14:56
What about penetration? How much b-hole penetration is okay for proper wiping? Fingernail deep okay?
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: sethk_ on Mon, 06 July 2015, 11:19:23
I dont really count, as long as it gets the job done
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: henz on Mon, 06 July 2015, 11:34:06
I use 1 ply. I can control the amount of tp I use better. I'm always concerned that I going to clog the toilet.

I fold, too. No scrunching.

I fold about 12-ish squares for the first wipe. If it isnt too messy, I reduce it to about 10 or 8 squares.

I hate when the first wipe looks clean. You still wipe 1 or 2 more times anyway cause you think you "missed" your butt hole.

Oh man, you use like one roll a day then? :D
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: Latin00032 on Mon, 06 July 2015, 11:36:40
I use 1 ply. I can control the amount of tp I use better. I'm always concerned that I going to clog the toilet.

I fold, too. No scrunching.

I fold about 12-ish squares for the first wipe. If it isnt too messy, I reduce it to about 10 or 8 squares.

I hate when the first wipe looks clean. You still wipe 1 or 2 more times anyway cause you think you "missed" your butt hole.

Oh man, you use like one roll a day then? :D
I clean my butt fast enough. I mostly poop at work. Single ply lasts pretty long since more squares fit on the roll.

It's not so bad.
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: fohat.digs on Mon, 06 July 2015, 11:53:31
Why, oh why, do I click on these threads?

Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: hashbaz on Mon, 06 July 2015, 12:25:50
I'm a proud sitting wiper. I grew up thinking that was the only way to do it, and didn't know that stand-to-wipe was at thing until a couple of years ago. Typically I grab three squares at a time and fold over into thirds for an instant 3X ply boost. Then I fold my 3-square in half for wipe number 2, and then usually again a third time. So at the end of the day it's one square, one wipe.

I also sit to pee unless there's a compelling reason not to (e.g., port-a-potty, long line). This provides an opportunity to tidy up in between poops. The freshness is real, don't knock it till you've tried it.
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: SpAmRaY on Mon, 06 July 2015, 12:34:57

On topic, I use wet wipes.


My question is, Do you flush your TP or toss it in the trash?
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: ccarlitos2 on Mon, 06 July 2015, 12:38:54

On topic, I use wet wipes.


My question is, Do you flush your TP or toss it in the trash?

Flush always flush. Do people really toss it in the trash? No judgement just curious as to why that preference.
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: SpAmRaY on Mon, 06 July 2015, 12:41:21

On topic, I use wet wipes.


My question is, Do you flush your TP or toss it in the trash?

Flush always flush. Do people really toss it in the trash? No judgement just curious as to why that preference.
My wife's family is very much against flushing toilet paper. I'll never understand it as we always flushed it growing up.

Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: ccarlitos2 on Mon, 06 July 2015, 12:43:24

On topic, I use wet wipes.


My question is, Do you flush your TP or toss it in the trash?

Flush always flush. Do people really toss it in the trash? No judgement just curious as to why that preference.
My wife's family is very much against flushing toilet paper. I'll never understand it as we always flushed it growing up.

Intresting.. Part of me wants to write sociology paper on this.
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: fohat.digs on Mon, 06 July 2015, 12:53:54

My wife's family is very much against flushing toilet paper.


On a septic system there is residue that accumulates over time and will eventually need to be pumped out. If you are on a city sewer system, they can pretty much take care of it.

Flushing wipes is much more problematic, since they do not disintegrate easily, at the minimum use the "flushable" type.
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: SpAmRaY on Mon, 06 July 2015, 13:00:19

My wife's family is very much against flushing toilet paper.


On a septic system there is residue that accumulates over time and will eventually need to be pumped out. If you are on a city sewer system, they can pretty much take care of it.

Flushing wipes is much more problematic, since they do not disintegrate easily, at the minimum use the "flushable" type.
Yeah we don't flush toilet paper or wipes.

The kids get confused when going to a public restroom because they don't want to flush the paper.
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: nubbinator on Mon, 06 July 2015, 13:06:07
Why, oh why, do I click on these threads?

(http://giant.gfycat.com/SophisticatedPleasedArchaeocete.gif)
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: demik on Mon, 06 July 2015, 14:56:26
Baby wipes / shower > TP

You guys are nasty

get a bidet
Nothing French is allowed to enter my house
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: azhdar on Mon, 06 July 2015, 14:59:30
Baby wipes / shower > TP

You guys are nasty

get a bidet
Nothing French is allowed to enter my house


On my way.

Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: demik on Mon, 06 July 2015, 15:05:02
It will give me time to put up more American flags
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: Nai_Calus on Mon, 06 July 2015, 20:58:52
I'm a roller. I don't put the roll on the holder, just sit it there. Roll around my hand a couple of times, wipe, fold, wipe again, repeat with new TP if necessary, wet TP if it's still somehow unclean.

I sit. Too awkward to reach around. I also do it the 'wrong' direction. If you get crap in the wrong place wiping forward I don't even know what you're doing but you're doing it wrong.
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: digi on Mon, 06 July 2015, 21:27:06
I hate when you keep wiping and waiting for the TP to be 100% clean but it takes like 20 wipes and you're getting no where...

Then you just give up, say F it, and wear what you got left??

too far??
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: SpAmRaY on Mon, 06 July 2015, 21:28:29
I hate when you keep wiping and waiting for the TP to be 100% clean but it takes like 20 wipes and you're getting no where...

Then you just give up, say F it, and wear what you got left??

too far??
Like a permanent marker!
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: digi on Mon, 06 July 2015, 21:29:11
lol
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: demik on Mon, 06 July 2015, 21:34:08
i, too, watch park and recs outtakes.
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: Joey Quinn on Mon, 06 July 2015, 21:39:33
I always fold and after college I swear I could use 80 grit and be fine.
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: rowdy on Mon, 06 July 2015, 22:45:12
tp thread is tp thread

Been waiting for this :))
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: iri on Tue, 07 July 2015, 05:27:38
I hate when you keep wiping and waiting for the TP to be 100% clean but it takes like 20 wipes and you're getting no where...

Then you just give up, say F it, and wear what you got left??

too far??
You are a murican, never give up! Just use wet tissues.
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: abswyfe on Tue, 07 July 2015, 06:50:05
3 for the front (abs says this is too much)
5 for the back (abs says this is too little)

And which one of you sicko mother****ers wipes from back to front?
I always run into someone who does when having this convo
Title: Re: TP thread
Post by: henz on Wed, 08 July 2015, 04:54:39
3 for the front (abs says this is too much)
5 for the back (abs says this is too little)

And which one of you sicko mother****ers wipes from back to front?
I always run into someone who does when having this convo

Do you mean using the same to for both?!?

Who would want to drag poop in their vagina/penis?!?

That **** is crazy, its like asking for trouble