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geekhack Community => Off Topic => Topic started by: tp4tissue on Wed, 16 September 2015, 15:41:38

Title: Wife ?
Post by: tp4tissue on Wed, 16 September 2015, 15:41:38: Any Marriage xperts feel free to Chime in... (http://i.imgur.com/FOH0Uwa.gif)

I've received mucho-talking-to-s about the subject since I've come back to China.. (I am getting pretty up there in age afterall_)

However, I feel the layman's understanding of Wife is conceptually very "superficial"

I would describe Wife as thus:

Either the Least or Most likely person to Willfully poison your food.

This is a very intense contract...

And the only REALISTIC binder, is producing at least 1 child..

In MOST cases the Upfront cost to even setup the marriage at its fullest exceeds the short term benefits by Years and Years.

Essentially, Marriage is like granting a Giant Loan/Mortgage.... that may lead to default

It's like 1,000,000,000 x apple user-agreements; one in which you can't pay for by sending them your advertising preference.. (well, maybe you could, but that's certainly grey market")

(http://i.imgur.com/CeSVycg.gif)
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: azhdar on Wed, 16 September 2015, 15:52:29: There's also this problematic thing called divorce. That where tina (Suyin in your case) goes to fuk Brad and you loose the sex times and also half of your money.

You have to make contracts to specify those situations not to loose le money.

You have to leave computer to be with her, loose WPM because of that.

Then le kids arrive, they are big noob you have learn them all ****, meanwhile you keep loosing wpm.

Big scam imho.
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: tp4tissue on Wed, 16 September 2015, 15:54:00: Quote from: azhdar on Wed, 16 September 2015, 15:52:29
There's also this problematic thing called divorce. That where tina (Suyin in your case) goes to fuk Brad and you loose the sex times and also half of your money.

You have to make contracts to specify those situations not to loose le money.

You have to leave computer to be with her, loose WPM because of that.

Then le kids arrive, they are big noob you have learn them all ****, meanwhile you keep loosing wpm.

Big scam imho.

OMG.. You describes perfect.. so language, so accuracy

(http://i.imgur.com/fMbRqcg.gif)
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: azhdar on Wed, 16 September 2015, 15:55:24: **** forgot to mention the watermelon problematic :|
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: fohat.digs on Wed, 16 September 2015, 16:22:06: The awesome power of a wife's love

A very old man lay dying in his bed. In death's doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies drifting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands.

With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven. There, spread out up on newspapers on the kitchen table were literally dozens of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.

Was this heaven, or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table. The aged and withered hand, shaking, made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked on the knuckles with a spatula by his wife.
"Stay out of those," she said. "They're for the funeral.”
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: Binge on Wed, 16 September 2015, 17:03:10: Quote from: tp4tissue on Wed, 16 September 2015, 15:41:38
Any Marriage xperts feel free to Chime in...
Show Image
(http://i.imgur.com/FOH0Uwa.gif)

I've received mucho-talking-to-s about the subject since I've come back to China.. (I am getting pretty up there in age afterall_)

However, I feel the layman's understanding of Wife is conceptually very "superficial"

I would describe Wife as thus:

Either the Least or Most likely person to Willfully poison your food.

This is a very intense contract...

And the only REALISTIC binder, is producing at least 1 child..

In MOST cases the Upfront cost to even setup the marriage at its fullest exceeds the short term benefits by Years and Years.

Essentially, Marriage is like granting a Giant Loan/Mortgage.... that may lead to default

It's like 1,000,000,000 x apple user-agreements; one in which you can't pay for by sending them your advertising preference.. (well, maybe you could, but that's certainly grey market")

Show Image
(http://i.imgur.com/CeSVycg.gif)

See all other aforementioned SO = problems unless the SO has your best interests in mind for the simple wedding vows. Wealth, Health, and Happiness.

If your SO is not as invested into personally seeing these aspects respected and maintained then he/she will cause you grief as you will resume responsibility over making sure he/she has wealth, health, or happiness previously unattainable by them solo.
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: tp4tissue on Wed, 16 September 2015, 20:22:36: Quote from: Binge on Wed, 16 September 2015, 17:03:10

See all other aforementioned SO = problems unless the SO has your best interests in mind for the simple wedding vows. Wealth, Health, and Happiness.

If your SO is not as invested into personally seeing these aspects respected and maintained then he/she will cause you grief as you will resume responsibility over making sure he/she has wealth, health, or happiness previously unattainable by them solo.

So, the advice is, marry rich, and forget about the rest.. hahahaha
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: Computer-Lab in Basement on Wed, 16 September 2015, 20:25:20: pre-nup

small wedding

DINK
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: tp4tissue on Wed, 16 September 2015, 20:30:51: Quote from: Computer-Lab in Basement on Wed, 16 September 2015, 20:25:20
pre-nup

small wedding

DINK

Yea, it's easy to say this from a Functional, Utilitarian perspective..

A prenup makes perfect logical sense..

But when you bring the issue up with your chosen partner. It calls into question exactly how committed you are to this relationship.

Essentially, If you mention prenup, You've founded this marriage-conditionally, which is a departure from the Disney fairy-tale.

Even if in truth, all love is conditional, where Disney is a complete LIE, 99% of the females of the current generation were raised with "that distorted" expectation.

Some females may be intellectually able to reason that the Prenup is at least logical and correct approach to business, but NO MATTER what, it's inserting a cancellation clause into the Dream of Happily-Ever-After.

This is highly problematic.

It's like, when you buy something on Amazon, because it's so easy a process to cancel and return, MORE people will do it... Even over some very minuet defect which overall doesn't affect the long run product usage.
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: Air tree on Wed, 16 September 2015, 23:45:46: Stay single and reap the rewards mate.
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: tp4tissue on Thu, 17 September 2015, 01:10:47: Quote from: Air tree on Wed, 16 September 2015, 23:45:46
Stay single and reap the rewards mate.

Totes, #Ronery4ever

(http://i.imgur.com/CCz4hx0.gif)
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: Oobly on Thu, 17 September 2015, 05:21:08: Got to be "the one", else it's not going to be "til death do us part" except on purpose...

Prenup contract does clash with the wording of the marriage contract, so it's kind of a hard sell. On the other hand, if she really believes it's for life, there should be no objection to a prenup. But logic does not always prevail in the face of the feels (and claiming the high ground here may be a mistake). Compromise is part of the deal, fortunately only a small part if you have a lot of similar views, but there will always be some needed.

Finding "the one" is usually not based on trying. It's often based on giving up trying, since then you're just yourself. Focus on your career / hobbies / passions / WPM and you may find someone right alongside you after a while. Speed typing through life together....
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: Evo_Spec on Thu, 17 September 2015, 08:54:37: If it makes you feel any better, i've been with my wife for 6 ish years and i've seriously had no problems that have gone past sleeping over them. They're out there, but they're hard to pin down.
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: osi on Thu, 17 September 2015, 08:59:44: Choose love or money
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: jdcarpe on Thu, 17 September 2015, 09:04:27: "If ya havin' girl problems, I feel bad for ya, son. I got 99 problems, but a ***** ain't one."
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: azhdar on Thu, 17 September 2015, 09:07:28: Quote from: jdcarpe on Thu, 17 September 2015, 09:04:27
"If ya havin' girl problems, I feel bad for ya, son. I got 99 problems, but a ***** ain't one."

Hit me !
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: do_Og@n on Thu, 01 October 2015, 20:53:12: Think of a Wife like a seriously addictive drug.

If you never try it you will never know what you are missing out on and you save all that money from not having it.
If you do try it and don't like it you can end it quickly before you get to addicted.
The longer you try it though the more addicted you become and you eventually reach a point where you just can't imagine life without it. Which makes it A LOT more difficult if it becomes unavailable (divorce).

I've been married for 7 years now. Is it easy...no! Is it cheap...no! Knowing what I know now would I change being married...no!

I agree that a lot of younger women grow up with this unrealistic idea of what marriage should be and find out the hard way that it isn't a fairy tale ending. Some of them even go as far to make their ex-husband's life hell for not turning them into a princess.

My personal opinion is if you like being single...stay single. If you don't like being single...don't rush to get married. Have a long, healthy relationship first and if you feel like you can take it to the next level then do it.
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: Belfong on Thu, 01 October 2015, 21:13:32: Quote from: azhdar on Wed, 16 September 2015, 15:52:29
There's also this problematic thing called divorce. That where tina (Suyin in your case) goes to fuk Brad and you loose the sex times and also half of your money.

You have to make contracts to specify those situations not to loose le money.

You have to leave computer to be with her, loose WPM because of that.

Then le kids arrive, they are big noob you have learn them all ****, meanwhile you keep loosing wpm.

Big scam imho.
Asian wife is typically very loyal and will not fuk Brad.
But that wpm ****! That is real! Don't do it tp4!
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: tp4tissue on Thu, 01 October 2015, 22:34:54: Quote from: Belfong on Thu, 01 October 2015, 21:13:32
Quote from: azhdar on Wed, 16 September 2015, 15:52:29
There's also this problematic thing called divorce. That where tina (Suyin in your case) goes to fuk Brad and you loose the sex times and also half of your money.

You have to make contracts to specify those situations not to loose le money.

You have to leave computer to be with her, loose WPM because of that.

Then le kids arrive, they are big noob you have learn them all ****, meanwhile you keep loosing wpm.

Big scam imho.
Asian wife is typically very loyal and will not fuk Brad.
But that wpm ****! That is real! Don't do it tp4!

(http://i.imgur.com/11tvgZg.gif)
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: ideus on Thu, 01 October 2015, 22:53:11: What? is this "off topic"? No, no, no, it is THE topic.
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: tp4tissue on Fri, 02 October 2015, 00:16:34: Quote from: ideus on Thu, 01 October 2015, 22:53:11
What? is this "off topic"? No, no, no, it is THE topic.

Considering it may never happen for us #roneryies , very important discussion indeed.
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: fohat.digs on Fri, 02 October 2015, 16:44:57: Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

Troubled User

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support.

I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: tp4tissue on Fri, 02 October 2015, 17:28:47: I've heard that you can download m0ar sex with Bit-Girl 2.2.1, even installed on wife 1.0, but eventually it could lead to slow performance of the OS, and cause erratic expenses on Finances 5.0

Wife 1.0 os might start generating garbage files like drinking.log or painkillers.dat and take up all available OS space..

Is Bit-Girl 2.2.1 worth it? Haz anyones tried it.
Title: Re: Wife ?
Post by: ideus on Fri, 02 October 2015, 18:56:51: Quote from: tp4tissue on Fri, 02 October 2015, 17:28:47
I've heard that you can download m0ar sex with Bit-Girl 2.2.1, even installed on wife 1.0, but eventually it could lead to slow performance of the OS, and cause erratic expenses on Finances 5.0

Wife 1.0 os might start generating garbage files like drinking.log or painkillers.dat and take up all available OS space..

Is Bit-Girl 2.2.1 worth it? Haz anyones tried it.

:o