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geekhack Community => Off Topic => Topic started by: jaffers on Sat, 06 February 2016, 07:56:33

Title: How to open a can of beer in complete silence
Post by: jaffers on Sat, 06 February 2016, 07:56:33
So, we all will have a reason to do so. Whether it be a second other, very very late at night, or because of overbearing parents even though you are of age and only have a week left with them until you have to go home, ****itsjust6days.

Either way, you may need to crack the can without the crack at some point in your life. Its simple, and for those new or uninitiated to the situation. Here's how

Tools:
One pointed knife.
Beer can

1. Place the pointy bit of knife in the middle of the bit that folds in and hold the knife with your left hand.
2. With your right hand you want to hit the butt of the knife enough to puncture the can, but do not bounce your right hand off the knife. Hold the pressure hold on the hold with the knife, this allows the gas to escape in a controlled manor without spraying liquid gold all over your monitor/desk/keyboard.
3. Lift the tab up until you can see the foldy bit start to seperate from the body of the can. It always cracks from one side, usually the right.
4. When you see a gap stop lifting the tab. Stick your knife in there instead and follow the crack the entire way round, opening the can with your blade ina a controlled manor.
5. If it made a sound you are doing it wrong. IF not, CONGRADULATION! You open can like ninja

Title: Re: How to open a can of beer in complete silence
Post by: Geroximo on Sat, 06 February 2016, 09:07:46
Beer doesn't deserve to be treated like that.
Title: Re: How to open a can of beer in complete silence
Post by: 27 on Sat, 06 February 2016, 09:47:58
I need a step-by-step informational video on this.
Title: Re: How to open a can of beer in complete silence
Post by: 3K on Sat, 06 February 2016, 10:08:51
What if you only have bottled beer?
Title: Re: How to open a can of beer in complete silence
Post by: fanpeople on Sat, 06 February 2016, 16:47:40
Although it is unlikely that i will require this trick as beer in a can is almost as houso as goon, i still would also like to see a demonstration video of this.
Title: Re: How to open a can of beer in complete silence
Post by: tp4tissue on Sat, 06 February 2016, 21:40:32
well if you chill the beer enuff , right above freezing, it should only make the metal tab sound.. the pressure would be minimal at that temperature.
Title: Re: How to open a can of beer in complete silence
Post by: jaffers on Sat, 06 February 2016, 22:14:00
well if you chill the beer enuff , right above freezing, it should only make the metal tab sound.. the pressure would be minimal at that temperature.

The metal tab sound it the loudest

Video incoming tonight when I crack a beer
Title: Re: How to open a can of beer in complete silence
Post by: xondat on Sun, 07 February 2016, 02:57:51
TIL. So why did you learn this?
Title: Re: How to open a can of beer in complete silence
Post by: Halverson on Sun, 07 February 2016, 03:07:51
I think many roommates would appreciate the silent opening. Although at some point you may end up just hurting yourself.
Title: Re: How to open a can of beer in complete silence
Post by: jaffers on Sun, 07 February 2016, 03:16:10
I learn this cause my parents are old as **** (not really they are in their 40's) and are always jumpin on my back about ****.

I did the video, but there was no sound. Grabbing another to do it again. Its like 7pm I dont even have to be silent tho **** IT
Title: Re: How to open a can of beer in complete silence
Post by: Halverson on Sun, 07 February 2016, 03:21:53

I learn this cause my parents are old as **** (not really they are in their 40's) and are always jumpin on my back about ****.

I did the video, but there was no sound. Grabbing another to do it again. Its like 7pm I dont even have to be silent tho **** IT

Ohhhhh to be young again....and also a robot in love
Title: Re: How to open a can of beer in complete silence
Post by: fanpeople on Sun, 07 February 2016, 03:25:55
I learn this cause my parents are old as **** (not really they are in their 40's) and are always jumpin on my back about ****.

I did the video, but there was no sound. Grabbing another to do it again. Its like 7pm I dont even have to be silent tho **** IT

Do they continuously tell you to turn the lights off after you have finished in a room? That used to drive me mental and I would be like **** you, you cheap bastards. Then I started paying for electricity and now I am the one telling people to turn the lights off when they have finished in a room.

Ah the circle of life.
Title: Re: How to open a can of beer in complete silence
Post by: jaffers on Sun, 07 February 2016, 04:24:39
They don't tell me to turn off the lights but they always leave the door open which drives me ****ing insane. DO YOU LIVE IN A TENT!

Here is the video. You can be super super quiet about this even though I wasn't but you get the idea. Ignore the siblings and parents in the background. I have a big family (7 people)

Title: Re: How to open a can of beer in complete silence
Post by: KingRama on Sun, 07 February 2016, 04:29:24
Method type 2 - "The Masked Noise"

1) Open canned beer + press buckling spring cap simultaneously.


Congratulations, you have now opened a can of beer "silently"  :p


They don't tell me to turn off the lights but they always leave the door open which drives me ****ing insane. DO YOU LIVE IN A TENT!Here is the video. You can be super super quiet about this even though I wasn't but you get the idea. Ignore the siblings and parents in the background. I have a big family (7 people)


Mate, where's your king beer (VB) at?
Title: Re: How to open a can of beer in complete silence
Post by: fanpeople on Sun, 07 February 2016, 04:32:07
Method type 2 - "The Masked Noise"

1) Open canned beer + press buckling spring cap simultaneously.


Congratulations, you have now opened a can of beer


Mate, where's your king beer (VB) at?[/size][/font]

I loled at this
Title: Re: How to open a can of beer in complete silence
Post by: fanpeople on Sun, 07 February 2016, 04:35:43
They don't tell me to turn off the lights but they always leave the door open which drives me ****ing insane. DO YOU LIVE IN A TENT!

Here is the video. You can be super super quiet about this even though I wasn't but you get the idea. Ignore the siblings and parents in the background. I have a big family (7 people)


You are such a Queenslander, that method tho. After a few full strength beers that could get really dangerous
Title: Re: How to open a can of beer in complete silence
Post by: jaffers on Sun, 07 February 2016, 04:36:02
VB is a transitional drink for people addicted to cat piss who are trying to quit

They don't tell me to turn off the lights but they always leave the door open which drives me ****ing insane. DO YOU LIVE IN A TENT!

Here is the video. You can be super super quiet about this even though I wasn't but you get the idea. Ignore the siblings and parents in the background. I have a big family (7 people)


You are such a Queenslander, that method tho. After a few full strength beers that could get really dangerous

I sat here for a few minutes trying to figure out how opening a beer/drinking a beer could be dangerous and then I remembered that I used a knife. But 4X is pretty good if you are thirsty or just drink without feeling like you are wasting it
Title: Re: How to open a can of beer in complete silence
Post by: fanpeople on Sun, 07 February 2016, 04:37:17
VB is a transitional drink for people addicted to cat piss who are trying to quit
 

Dis is true also
Title: Re: How to open a can of beer in complete silence
Post by: KingRama on Sun, 07 February 2016, 04:49:02
VB is a transitional drink for people addicted to cat piss who are trying to quit
 

Dis is true also
hahahaha yes