Welp--I finally summoned up the balls to do it. Rather, I got off my lazy ass after the last straw with the issue and took thirty seconds to shave off some of the base of both keycaps and--lo and behold--they no longer get stuck. Very happy with this simple and easy fix and, however minimal the act was, I feel that much closer to being a Geekhacker. Pretty satisfying feeling. Maybe I'll ruin my next board by trying to solder LED's onto it.
Nah.