Thanks! I am definitely getting this!
Your name is Butthurt the Clackhunter; you are a Ra(n)ger.
You were born with a third arm; which you eventually had amputated.
Raised by nobles, you are an entitled champion destined for the throne.
Failing to kill a Black Widow in your family cellar during your training has been your biggest regret.
One to enjoy happy hacking, your great-grandfather was named Alfred.
Half an hour ago, you got crushed by a boulder...
... a strange smell reminiscent of guano lulls you to sleep. You slowly loose consciousness.
Suddenly, you see a man wearing a robe and holding a SSK. He makes his way towards you.
Unsure of how he appeared there, you punch yourself in the face.
This is your story.
