Attached is my love letter to Keycon I wrote while we were eating pizza. Fyi, I went on a rather underwhelming date the Thursday before Keycon, so my heart was a little sore heading into the weekend, and that influenced my writing. I hope this is at least funny and entertaining for you all.
Here is the text of the letters, for all those that cannot read my loopy writing:
16 May 2015
Dear Keycon Attendees,
For months, I starred at that faraway date on my calendar: May 16, 2015, the day of Keycon 2015. My dreams were stuffed with animations of clicking, dancing keycaps and sparkling, shimmering custom Korean cases. My days were wasted with hours upon hours of my ear pressed to the sweet collapse of the buckling spring (capacitive, please). When the calendar flipped to May, what was once a distance hope turned into a tangible possibility. For once in my sad life, a dream could be achieved!
The morning arrived, and I jumped from my bed faster than when Bill wakes up next to Hillary. My 1998 Plymouth Breeze sensed the excitement, because it topped 80 mph for the first time since 2003. Not until mile 50 did I realize my shirt was on backwards. The giddiness that rivals Christmas morning worked me into a frazzled tizzy. My broken, crippled heart might finally recall that warming, comforting touch of an army of keyboards.
As I entered the room, with geeks and keyboards scattered about, my eyes screamed "Yes! Yes!" at the fulfillment of my seemingly endless search for true love. I couldn't restrain my eager fingertips from the tingle of doubleshot clicks and clacks. That feeling, that touch which nothing in this harsh and beautiful world can surpass.
Oh keyboards, my keyboards, why must you be the master of my emotions? I am your slave, your servant, your willing prisoner! I wish we could be locked a penthouse suite together for eternity. Ah, but all I have is a half day of your fantastical embraces, and then...another few months, perhaps years back into the cold chambers of my eternal loneliness.
Here I sit, the evening after our tryst, surrounded by fellow enthusiasts, but separated from my loves once again, remembering that pain of being alone in a crowd. But at least I know what it means to love, however briefly, before I am buried next to all the beamsprings that once clicked across the land.
-the keyboardist formerly known as prdlm2009
