Easter...

[Computer-Lab in Basement]

Ok, I am in a bit of a jam.  First let me fill you in a little:

My family is insane.  Every Easter for the past 5 years we have been having these "UGLY EASTER EGG" competitions.  I know there are some pretty sick people on this forum, and I need a good idea so I can finally win this thing.
  There are only 4 rules:

1.No egg ****s in underwear
2.If your egg makes fun of camping your disqualified
3.The use of tampons is prohibited
4.No gnomes may be involved in any way

Those are the official rules.  I need help with this thing, and you guys are insane enough to help me out.  I think...

Just some more info, rules 1 and 3 were broken in 2 past events by my dad, and if only the pictures weren't X rated I would post some.

[didjamatic]

LMAO!  Thanks for the laugh.

[Computer-Lab in Basement]

Whatever that is isn't the grossest egg ever, my dad's egg was so ugly last year it got disqualified.  In an Ugly Egg contest, his egg was so hideous that is was disqualified!  That is why tampons are no longer allowed in these contests...

[kishy]

Someone doesn't spend much time online if they don't react adversely to hearing or reading the term "goatse".

Either that or they spend WAY too much time online.

[itlnstln]

Yeah, I throw up a little in my mouth when I see that word.

[microsoft windows]

Maybe you can make your egg look like one of these.

[ch_123]

Oh boy! More roadkill porn!

fap fap fap...

[kishy]

Or this:

[clickclack]

Ok, I am in a bit of a jam.... let e

I ate what is called a "thousand year old egg" years ago and it was perhaps the most disturbing thing I have ever seen. Hmmm.... yet I still ate it, what does that say about me? Basically it looks like a rotten and bruised fetus in a gelatinous egg shape.
Tastes oddly enough "ok" if you can actually get yourself not to focus on it =P

Someone doesn't spend much time online if they don't react adversely to hearing or reading the term "goatse".
Either that or they spend WAY too much time online.

What on earth could this be? It's in a video game right, so how bad could it be? Or do I really not want to know? How about another question mark?

[kishy]

In this case, Google is anything but your friend. It'll find what you don't want but are seeking to know.

[clickclack]

why must I be so curious...
 (hangs head in shame)
=(
FAIL

[kishy]

Word 'crossfire' reminded me of this.

>

[Computer-Lab in Basement]

Gee I though you guys would be more helpful.  Apparently not.  Oh well, maybe I will just combine all the prohibited items into one and make the most disqualified egg.

[kishy]

Gee I though you guys would be more helpful.  Apparently not.  Oh well, maybe I will just combine all the prohibited items into one and make the most disqualified egg.

I like this idea.

It's the off topic section. Even off topic topics won't stay on topic.

[Computer-Lab in Basement]

It's the off topic section. Even off topic topics won't stay on topic.

Too true.

[clickclack]

Gee I though you guys would be more helpful.  Apparently not.  Oh well, maybe I will just combine all the prohibited items into one and make the most disqualified egg.

=( seriously though, "thousand year old egg" it's horrid!

Hmmmm... what about taking a bunch of uncooked meat products (like turkey innards) pack them into a plastic easter egg and throw it in the freezer. Take it out of the plastic when frozen and present it just before the "judging". I am sure at that point it will just start to leak all kinds of juices as well as being just an absolute nightmare of mishmashed meat parts.

hmmm.... I quite like that idea actually :S

Shooting for being disqualified is just a cop out! =P

[Rajagra]

I ate what is called a "thousand year old egg" years ago and it was perhaps the most disturbing thing I have ever seen.

You haven't seen Balut then.
http://www.straightrazorplace.com/forums/finer-things-life/33264-balut-not-thread-squeemish.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balut_%28egg%29

And that George Lucas is asneaky so-and-so...

[Computer-Lab in Basement]

ok good ideas, I'll see what my dad thinks about them.

[clickclack]

howbout pasting a picture of Jocelyn Wildenstein on the egg, I am quite sure that would win. Maybe even a pic of McCain's smile.

google "20 ugliest celebrities" it's full of inspiration. I would also like to add that it will make you feel instantly better about yourself FTW! =D

[kishy]

Just walk into the room wearing a fried egg as a hat.

[clickclack]

You haven't seen Balut then.
http://www.straightrazorplace.com/forums/finer-things-life/33264-balut-not-thread-squeemish.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balut_%28egg%29

Nope! Not gunna do it! I already looked up one mind bendingly horrid thing today (trying desperately not to click the damn link... focus...FOCUS don't give in...).

[kishy]

Nope! Not gunna do it! I already looked up one mind bendingly horrid thing today (trying desperately not to click the damn link... focus...FOCUS don't give in...).

Muahahahaha

Worse things than the aforementioned mind bendingly horrible thing do exist. You must be careful.

I strongly advise that you never, ever view the article titled (I just edited this out...it's gotten worse since I last saw it and it's flat out unethical to endorse that crap for any purpose)

[sethstorm]

Muahahahaha

Worse things than the aforementioned mind bendingly horrible thing do exist. You must be careful.

I strongly advise that you never, ever view the article titled (I just edited this out...it's gotten worse since I last saw it and it's flat out unethical to endorse that crap for any purpose)

The question is if he could stuff an overripe durian in there?

for Wikipedia reference:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Durian
On their redeeming qualities w/r/t this contest

[kishy]

That would perhaps be along similar lines of questionableness as the jar guy.

[sethstorm]

That would perhaps be along similar lines of questionableness as the jar guy.

At the very least it's not as bad as the other listed alternatives.

[itlnstln]

howbout pasting a picture of Jocelyn Wildenstein on the egg, I am quite sure that would win. Maybe even a pic of McCain's smile.

Jesus, man, you're sick.  I need to go barf now.

[Computer-Lab in Basement]

Hmmmm... what about taking a bunch of uncooked meat products (like turkey innards) pack them into a plastic easter egg and throw it in the freezer. Take it out of the plastic when frozen and present it just before the "judging". I am sure at that point it will just start to leak all kinds of juices as well as being just an absolute nightmare of mishmashed meat parts.

I think I may use this idea but alter it a little.  Here was my plan:

1. Catch a fish.
2. Gut the fish
3. Cover hard boiled egg with fish guts.

Or this idea:

1. Go to Wal*Mart.
2. Buy some nightcrawlers (worms)
3. Mash worms into chunks.
4. Cover hard boiled egg with worm chunks.

[clickclack]

Jesus, man, you're sick.  I need to go barf now.

haahaa =S

I think I may use this idea but alter it a little.  Here was my plan:...

Uhhh... I don't think we need to help you anymore, haahaa 8S

[Computer-Lab in Basement]

Just made my Easter egg.  I'll post pictures tomorrow, but a little hint: it looks like a hard-boiled egg being eaten by worms and maggots.

[ch_123]

Sounds like Easter is a pretty fun time in the US.

[Computer-Lab in Basement]

Sounds like Easter is a pretty fun time in the US.

I just saw that on the news this morning.  It is quite disturbing.

[Computer-Lab in Basement]

I won! I will upload some pictures later.

[ricercar]

Maybe next year you can present a sculpture of a dismembered foetus, holding a protest sign made of a bloody hanger and the Roe vs. Wade "injunction denied" text. After all, it must be 'only' an egg (with a delicious sperm filling)  if it's not yet a human being, right?

[kishy]

That's a debate we REALLY don't need here with the very vocal republican crowd around...

[Computer-Lab in Basement]

Next year I get to be the judge, so I can't submit an entry.  But I am glad I won.  I will post pictures soon.

[EverythingIBM]

Next year I get to be the judge, so I can't submit an entry.  But I am glad I won.  I will post pictures soon.

I won! I will upload some pictures later.

Just made my Easter egg.  I'll post pictures tomorrow, but a little hint: it looks like a hard-boiled egg being eaten by worms and maggots.

Meethinkes there beeth an discrepancie.

Take some pictures with one of these:

Be careful, it requires at least 200 Mhz.

[Voixdelion]

I ate what is called a "thousand year old egg" years ago and it was perhaps the most disturbing thing I have ever seen. Hmmm.... yet I still ate it, what does that say about me? Basically it looks like a rotten and bruised fetus in a gelatinous egg shape.
Tastes oddly enough "ok" if you can actually get yourself not to focus on it =P


What on earth could this be? It's in a video game right, so how bad could it be? Or do I really not want to know? How about another question mark?

I kinda like the gelatinous part - the yolk is where I get gaggy, and they smell strongly of sulphur...

And I am trying desperately to resist what I will be sure to regret googling, if your reaction is anything to go by... Maybe if I tell myself I'll "do it later" I'll forget about it.  Probably at least one time when procrastination will prove to be my friend.