OK!
Update and great news, I found out that the clock and data pins were actually inverted on the round pinout to the PCB mount pinout on the PS/2 port, so it was trying to send DATA to CLOCK and CLOCK to DATA the entire time.
That aside, I did manage to get it working and flashed properly with Arduino IDE finding the COM port with blinkies or whatnot, then flashing the bootloadered port. The 2k pullups seem to be working fine, with my little quad bumblebee setup going strong.
It only took me about a week to figure it all out, but it finally works. Sparkfun's signed driver is hidden somewhere in their github bin folder while I have to set the IDE to "Sparkfun Pro Micro" and likewise the driver thereof. Then, using the verbose readout on the arguments in Arduino IDE's printout area, I copied the entire code for flashing the hex file for blinkies or whatever it was.
The selections in Arduino IDE are Sparkfun pro micro (you need to download the package from the IDE package menu or something) then you also need the sparkfun driver from their official github because the IDE version drivers are outdated.
Then select COM X {Whatever your com port is that pro micro comes up on via the default first program or the reset pin period of 8 seconds}
Then select ATMEGA32U4 5v 16MHz (what I used)
Select ARDUINO AS ISP (ATMEGA32U4)
Finally I dropped it out for the name of the file to be flashed, and it all just copy paste flashes so long as you enter the right com port.
C:\Users\Administrator\AppData\Local\Arduino15\packages\arduino\tools\avrdude\6.3.0-arduino17\bin
This was where AVRdude is located when you install Arduino IDE, so it flashes from here without a hitch if you can start a CMD prompt in the address bar.
"C:\Users\Administrator\AppData\Local\Arduino15\packages\arduino\tools\avrdude\6.3.0-arduino17/bin/avrdude" "-CC:\Users\Administrator\AppData\Local\Arduino15\packages\arduino\tools\avrdude\6.3.0-arduino17/etc/avrdude.conf" -v -V -patmega32u4 -cavr109 -PCOM4 -b57600 -D "-Uflash:w:C:\Users\Administrator\AppData\Local\Arduino15\packages\arduino\tools\avrdude\6.3.0-arduino17\bin\HASUprebIBM.hex:i"
This is the command I parse through command prompt to flash it. Once the reset pin to ground is shorted, press enter on your keyboard, and it will flash successfully.
Cheers all! @Hasu this might help the other pro micro povo scrublords out here to concisely find out how to flash these little buggers.
The keyboards work flawlessly, even the usually non functional alps white taiwanese board I have works fine on this protocol! I've tried it on all the PS/2 ports I could in my office, but only your converter works with it!
