Are your eyes bleeding? You can always change your theme.
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I think you would find the Zero most like an IBM. It uses white Alps which are louder than the Blues.Blue switches do not feel or sound at all like a model M. They are far too soft and the sound is too small and high pitched.The Alps will be closest for sure.http://www.elitekeyboards.com/products.php?sub=filco_keyboards,majestouch_87key&pid=fkbn87zeb
Phototristan, check here for 104 key info.Also, can you take a photo sometime of your Das with the faded lettering and post it in that thread? It's a common complaint but I've never seen a picture and since you're a photographer....
I also think leavy sound and feeling is very different from BS. Closest would be the simplified Alps.
I guess nothing really beats buckling springs! The Unicomps or Model Ms are durable too.