Be someone/something else

[ideus]

Probably a notable science fiction writer.

What prevent you to do that now?

[CPTBadAss]

I discovered recently you can be the world's leading expert on a food and even become a professor of said food. I would like to be the world's leading expert on ice cream.

[Krogenar]

I discovered recently you can be the world's leading expert on a food and even become a professor of said food. I would like to be the world's leading expert on ice cream.

Ice cream? Pfft. Dibs on bacon.

[SpAmRaY]

I discovered recently you can be the world's leading expert on a food and even become a professor of said food. I would like to be the world's leading expert on ice cream.

Ice cream? Pfft. Dibs on bacon.

Did someone say bacon?

I eat bacon on my bacon.

[Krogenar]

I discovered recently you can be the world's leading expert on a food and even become a professor of said food. I would like to be the world's leading expert on ice cream.

Ice cream? Pfft. Dibs on bacon.

Did someone say bacon?

I eat bacon on my bacon.

I was kicked from the hallowed halls of Academe when I was caught in my study eating a salad. I am no longer Professor Emeritus of Bacon. 

[SpAmRaY]

I discovered recently you can be the world's leading expert on a food and even become a professor of said food. I would like to be the world's leading expert on ice cream.

Ice cream? Pfft. Dibs on bacon.

Did someone say bacon?

I eat bacon on my bacon.

I was kicked from the hallowed halls of Academe when I was caught in my study eating a salad. I am no longer Professor Emeritus of Bacon. 

You know what goes reall good with salad?

bacon.

Actually it's hard to think of something bacon wouldn't go with.

[Krogenar]

Actually it's hard to think of something bacon wouldn't go with.

So bacon goes with everything? How about bacon and Hitler? Huh, do they go together well?
Racist.

(sobs)

I thought I was tenured!

[SpAmRaY]

Actually it's hard to think of something bacon wouldn't go with.

So bacon goes with everything? How about bacon and Hitler? Huh, do they go together well?
Racist.

(sobs)

I thought I was tenured!

perhaps a bacon grease bomb to take out evil doers?

[Krogenar]

perhaps a bacon grease bomb to take out evil doers?

Bacon-of-the-Month Club (ok, it's quarterly, but not bad) -- http://www.belcampomeatco.com/shop/all-products/bacons-of-the-world/

[SpAmRaY]

perhaps a bacon grease bomb to take out evil doers?

Bacon-of-the-Month Club (ok, it's quarterly, but not bad) -- http://www.belcampomeatco.com/shop/all-products/bacons-of-the-world/

Ok so if I ever win the lottery or become independently wealthy I know what I'm going to sign up for

[FreeCopy]

I want to be able to dance and maybe drive NASCAR.

You ever looked into places like this?

http://www.racingadventure.com/

http://www.nascarracingexperience.com/

[SpAmRaY]

I'm getting bored with my job and the wife wants to move far, far away.....but what do to for money! 

[riotonthebay]

I'm getting bored with my job and the wife wants to move far, far away.....but what do to for money! 

Sounds like a fun adventure!

Of course, that's me talking in my early twenties. No clue what I'd say if I had a family to support.

[iri]

I'm getting bored with my job and the wife wants to move far, far away.....but what do to for money! 

Sounds like a fun adventure!

Of course, that's me talking in my early twenties. No clue what I'd say if I had a family to support.

i can say the same thing in my late twenties. ****, i'll be thirty in less than 1.5 years. **** **** ****. at the age of 30, i MUST live in some other country.

[demik]

I would hate to be a know it all (but doesnt know ****) with their head far up their ass.

[baldgye]

I'd like to be asexual... life would be alot ****ing easier

[nubbinator]

I'd like to be asexual... life would be alot ****ing easier

No, if you're asexual, it would make life no ****ing easier.  Only if you were bisexual/pansexual would it make life ****ing easier.

[baldgye]

I'd like to be asexual... life would be alot ****ing easier

No, if you're asexual, it would make life no ****ing easier.  Only if you were bisexual/pansexual would it make life ****ing easier.

why?

[vun]

I'd like to be asexual... life would be alot ****ing easier

No, if you're asexual, it would make life no ****ing easier.  Only if you were bisexual/pansexual would it make life ****ing easier.

why?

Because asexual doesn't mean you don't love, just don't have any interest in sex. Which is all nice and well if you end up falling for another asexual person, but imagine falling in love with a person who will probably want sex, but you know you can't give it to them. Not really what I'd call easier.

[noisyturtle]

I'd like to be asexual... life would be alot ****ing easier

No, if you're asexual, it would make life no ****ing easier.  Only if you were bisexual/pansexual would it make life ****ing easier.

why?

because if you're bi or pansexual that means you can stick your hands down anyone's pants and be happy with what you find

[baldgye]

I'd like to be asexual... life would be alot ****ing easier

No, if you're asexual, it would make life no ****ing easier.  Only if you were bisexual/pansexual would it make life ****ing easier.

why?

Because asexual doesn't mean you don't love, just don't have any interest in sex. Which is all nice and well if you end up falling for another asexual person, but imagine falling in love with a person who will probably want sex, but you know you can't give it to them. Not really what I'd call easier.

hmm perhaps... either way, if you didn't have to deal with **** (like relationships haha) would make life a whole lot less stressful haha... though being attracted to other genders wouldn't solve that problem

[riotonthebay]

Autosexual is easiest.

[nubbinator]

I'd like to be asexual... life would be alot ****ing easier

No, if you're asexual, it would make life no ****ing easier.  Only if you were bisexual/pansexual would it make life ****ing easier.

why?

It was a pun.  If you're asexual there would be no ****ing at all, hence it would make your life literally no ****ing easier.  On the other hand, if you were bisexual or pansexual, you would have many more sexual options, thus making ****ing easier.

Jokes aren't as funny when people don't get them and you have to explain them.  Oh well.

[riotonthebay]

I'd like to be asexual... life would be alot ****ing easier

No, if you're asexual, it would make life no ****ing easier.  Only if you were bisexual/pansexual would it make life ****ing easier.

why?

It was a pun.  If you're asexual there would be no ****ing at all, hence it would make your life literally no ****ing easier.  On the other hand, if you were bisexual or pansexual, you would have many more sexual options, thus making ****ing easier.

Jokes aren't as funny when people don't get them and you have to explain them.  Oh well.

I think the joke was well-executed . But I look for jokes in everything.

[baldgye]

I'd like to be asexual... life would be alot ****ing easier

No, if you're asexual, it would make life no ****ing easier.  Only if you were bisexual/pansexual would it make life ****ing easier.

why?

It was a pun.  If you're asexual there would be no ****ing at all, hence it would make your life literally no ****ing easier.  On the other hand, if you were bisexual or pansexual, you would have many more sexual options, thus making ****ing easier.

Jokes aren't as funny when people don't get them and you have to explain them.  Oh well.

lol yeah my bad I guess