Author Topic: I know I'm new... but want/need to vent...  (Read 5557 times)

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Offline type_dancer

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I know I'm new... but want/need to vent...
« on: Sat, 05 June 2010, 22:43:37 »
I don't know if any of you have dogs, but one of ours went missing 2 weeks ago. I have good days and bad days but between constantly checking shelters, mailing fliers, posting her on craigslist, etc and so forth it is really draining. So the last thing I need are people telling me I should just give up.

Plenty of dogs have turned up weeks and months after being lost. She is a family member and the attitude growing around me is like I'm nuts for trying and why am I not over it all ready. If she was a human I'd get paid leave and there would be a million dollar search and rescue to look for a kid (which is GREAT- I have 2 of those, too) but all I"m asking is patience and support.

What is wrong with society when an animal that is such an integral part OF our society merits only a few days before people don't give a @#*!.

Probably the wrong place to vent this, but I wanted some honest outside opinions on this. There are search and rescue dogs that give there lives to find missing humans, but I'm crazy for wanting to pass out fliers and post my dog on craigslist and not just go... Oh she's dead, what's on TV?

Though I will say my husband is very supportive and misses her, too. At least I have that.
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Offline Nonmouse

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« Reply #1 on: Sat, 05 June 2010, 22:53:41 »
I'm really sorry to hear this>  =(  My pets are members of the family, too, and I wouldn't give up, either.

Good luck with the search.

Offline iMav

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« Reply #2 on: Sat, 05 June 2010, 22:56:07 »
How did she get lost?  Is she a runner?  (i.e., if she gets loose outside, does she typically run away?)

We've had a few dogs over the years.  I take great pains to make sure they stay by my side when outside without a leash (teaching them from a young age).  (I can't tolerate a disobedient dog...the last thing I need is to have my kids freak out because they witness the dog running into the street and getting hit...or having them chase after a dog and put themselves in danger)

I believe you should put as much effort as you want into finding the dog.  Just because others don't value dogs as much as you doesn't mean they should be trying to minimize your feelings and attachment to your pet.  I don't think you should expect others outside of your family to care...but they should at least be respectful of your plight and at least keep an eye out.

Offline type_dancer

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« Reply #3 on: Sat, 05 June 2010, 23:06:10 »
She is not a runner. She has gotten out of our fence before but just sat at the front door until I realized she was there and let her in.

We have two wanderers who are the reason we upgraded our fence, she isn't one of them. She just wasn't in the yard when I went to get her.

Quote from: iMav;190099
  I don't think you should expect others outside of your family to care...but they should at least be respectful of your plight and at least keep an eye out.


Great wording. Exactly how I feel.
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Offline kishy

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« Reply #4 on: Sat, 05 June 2010, 23:21:29 »
Quote from: type_dancer;190102
She just wasn't in the yard when I went to get her.


What breed?

...having a shih tzu, I'm particularly aware of the fact that people can and do steal expensive dog breeds so we don't leave her out for long unattended.

Be very, very aggressive. Newspaper ads in all local papers, if there's any kind of neighbourhood website post there, photo-equipped flyers all over the city.

I really hope you find your beloved pet. I'd be out of my mind if mine disappeared.
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Offline audioave10

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« Reply #5 on: Sat, 05 June 2010, 23:23:30 »
I wish you Good Luck...and hope you find her. I've only had a cat or two but have known many of my friends dogs to be highly intelligent and very important.
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Offline TexasFlood

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« Reply #6 on: Sat, 05 June 2010, 23:25:31 »
My beagle is a bit of a runner.  He tends to take off, but does so much faster if someone is chasing him, and he can easily outrun most of us.  Once someone just left the front door open and we found him just sitting in the yard.

Just last night someone had left the back gate open and he escaped when my wife let him out in the back yard.  Within about 15 minutes someone a few houses down the street got our number off of his tag and called us, before we even knew he was gone.  The same thing happened once when my son was -supposed- to be watching him and left the front door open.  We very often do the same when we see dogs wandering around our house.  

I was bringing Christmas decorations in through the front door last January when some power cords got tangled in an odd way & distracted me just long enough for him to make a break out the door.  It was right at dusk and he outran me & I lost sight of him before long.  Went back and got my car and drove the path we typically walk him but no sign of him.  I went across the main street dividing our neighborhood from the next but didn't see him there either.  I saw a lady walking a poodle and asked her if she'd seen him but she had not.  Was getting worried because it was dark, cold, streets were icy and I'd seen some folks intentionally sliding their cars around corners, for fun, but it wouldn't be fun if they hit a dog or person due to intentionally losing control of their vehicle.  Anyway, I was a big panicked but after another loop found the lady with the poodle in our neighborhood holding my dog at a corner.  She had seen him and come over and been able to grab his collar when he came to say hi to the poodle.

Guess I'm luck that I live in a pretty dog friendly area.  Good luck type_dancer, those of us who have dogs know how attached you can get to them.

Offline Input Nirvana

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« Reply #7 on: Sat, 05 June 2010, 23:55:50 »
Tigger understands.

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Offline kriminal

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« Reply #8 on: Sun, 06 June 2010, 00:11:55 »
i had a rottweiler named Zues that was stolen from me, so i know how you feel.
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Offline 1839cc

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« Reply #9 on: Sun, 06 June 2010, 00:30:21 »
Hope you find her. What is her name?
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Offline bitflipper

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« Reply #10 on: Sun, 06 June 2010, 00:52:46 »
Best of luck finding her, type_dancer.

My cats are a part of my family and I would go to great lengths to find them if they went missing. People who don't understand this are lacking something - like empathy. I always learn something about a person by they way they treat animals.

Offline TexasFlood

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« Reply #11 on: Sun, 06 June 2010, 00:52:58 »
Quote from: type_dancer;190096
Plenty of dogs have turned up weeks and months after being lost. She is a family member and the attitude growing around me is like I'm nuts for trying and why am I not over it all ready. If she was a human I'd get paid leave and there would be a million dollar search and rescue to look for a kid (which is GREAT- I have 2 of those, too) but all I"m asking is patience and support.

Still had this thread up and read your post again.  Jogged my memory.  When I was a teenager, our cat disappeared during one of the worst torrential storms I'd even seen.  She didn't show up and we found no evidence of her fate, dead or alive.  A looonnnnngggggg time later, seems like it as almost a year, my mom was driving through a neighborhood across town and saw her sitting under a tree in the mayor's yard.  We never discovered how she got there.  I was even sceptical that it was even her but it was.  She barely seemed to know us at first but after not long at all it was like she'd never left.  This was quite a while ago and he's since left us for good but she lived a good long life after this happened.  I'm sure there are lots of hopeful stories out there, this is mine.

Offline EverythingIBM

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« Reply #12 on: Sun, 06 June 2010, 02:48:07 »
Quote from: TexasFlood;190127
Still had this thread up and read your post again.  Jogged my memory.  When I was a teenager, our cat disappeared during one of the worst torrential storms I'd even seen.  She didn't show up and we found no evidence of her fate, dead or alive.  A looonnnnngggggg time later, seems like it as almost a year, my mom was driving through a neighborhood across town and saw her sitting under a tree in the mayor's yard.  We never discovered how she got there.  I was even sceptical that it was even her but it was.  She barely seemed to know us at first but after not long at all it was like she'd never left.  This was quite a while ago and he's since left us for good but she lived a good long life after this happened.  I'm sure there are lots of hopeful stories out there, this is mine.


That is quite hilarious. Wow. Well, I guess the mayor is too cheap to buy his own pets!

I never used a leash for my cat, he'd just tag along with me through long walks. The interesting thing is that the cat would only go so far of a distance without me: but when I was there, he'd follow me for any distance really. I guess one time when I was walking, I didn't give him time to catch up with me, so, he stayed where he was hiding. When I got home realizing he was missing, after a few hours I went back to go find him; came jumping out of a bush and followed me back.
 
When we went on a vacation and came back, he was scared to go outside, so, I had to wait outside with him until he got used to it.

If you know your neighbourhood very well, I'd suggest you walk around and try calling your dog. I had a special whistle for my cat: although he'd go crazy when I'd whistle to music haha. When we moved to our new area, I couldn't find my cat because... I didn't know where to look! So knowing the area helps a lot.
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Offline Rajagra

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« Reply #13 on: Sun, 06 June 2010, 04:09:29 »
Quote from: type_dancer;190096
She is a family member


True. Dogs (and cats) may not be people, but they have real feelings and show more genuine affection and loyalty than some people. I've always found it traumatic when I've lost pets, and in a way it's even more upsetting when they go missing for a few days and you don't know what's happened. You feel it's your responsibility so however much you do you feel guilty for not doing more.

It's a great feeling when they turn up, trotting along as if nothing happened. I hope she turns up soon.

Offline hyperlinked

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« Reply #14 on: Sun, 06 June 2010, 04:55:11 »
Quote from: TexasFlood;190127
 A looonnnnngggggg time later, seems like it as almost a year, my mom was driving through a neighborhood across town and saw her sitting under a tree in the mayor's yard.

My wife and I kinda went through this story in reverse. There was a cat that hung out in our back yard a lot that we thought to be feral because she was so malnourished and afraid of people so we took care of her and one day she didn't show up for breakfast or dinner and so we got worried. By the next day of not showing up, we started to ask around and we found out that our neighbor was missing her cat too. What a coincidence!

We had already made up missing pet posters and started locating animal shelters by the time we realize it was our neighbor's cat. She actually was missing and we continued to do most of the looking because our neighbor had difficulty getting far from her house at the time.

We found her at our local Humane Society a day after we went there and didn't see her in any of the cages. We really weren't expecting to hit the jackpot because she should have been there the last time we looked, but by blind luck they must have taken her for some medical evaluations the last time we were there looking so she wasn't in her cage.

We were sure she was gone and we made a return trip to the shelter just because we didn't know what else to do. We were just going through the motions when we see a familiar looking cat suddenly start crying at us very loudly when we approached her cage.

We got our neighbor's cat back... and she still more or less lives in our back yard. Our neighbor has a bunch of other cats and she likes having her own yard. :)
« Last Edit: Sun, 06 June 2010, 04:57:57 by hyperlinked »
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Offline ch_123

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« Reply #15 on: Sun, 06 June 2010, 05:54:37 »
My family cat of 10 years died around this time last year... can't remember being as miserable at any other time as when that happened.

Offline hoggy

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« Reply #16 on: Sun, 06 June 2010, 07:36:18 »
Hey, hope you find her.
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Offline type_dancer

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« Reply #17 on: Sun, 06 June 2010, 08:11:02 »
Quote from: kishy;190106
What breed?

...having a shih tzu, I'm particularly aware of the fact that people can and do steal expensive dog breeds so we don't leave her out for long unattended.

Be very, very aggressive. Newspaper ads in all local papers, if there's any kind of neighbourhood website post there, photo-equipped flyers all over the city.

I really hope you find your beloved pet. I'd be out of my mind if mine disappeared.

Thank you everyone!

She is a mutt, a priceless one. We have her on craigslist and add a new one everytime hers gets low on the page. In l&f and pets. We did newspapers but we can't afford it anymore. They are like 40.00 a week here per paper.

We distributed around 500 fliers in mailboxes and posting at intersections.

I am a wreck. The not knowing is killing me.

Appreciate the hopeful stories, they are why I keep going.

Her name is Annie. My daughter named her. Needless to say she is not doing to well either over this.

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Offline type_dancer

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« Reply #18 on: Sun, 06 June 2010, 08:13:57 »
Quote from: input nirvana;190114
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Offline Input Nirvana

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« Reply #19 on: Sun, 06 June 2010, 09:54:29 »
Also, something that maybe you need to hear right now.

For all of the possible bad endings, there are an equal number of possible good endings (and a few neutral ones). Please try to not be consumed by the rampant emotions that can come with loss, it can become an ugly needless cycle that has no benefits. Try to stay focused on the joy and good of your families relationship with Annie, and the facts of your search and the not knowing as a job. Something you can approach in a somewhat clear and logical method so it doesn't consume you, or tarnish all the good you've had with Annie.

I hope this makes sense.
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« Reply #20 on: Sun, 06 June 2010, 19:59:06 »
10 years ago, my cat ran away from home. We all thought he was dead but he came back over a month later, all hungry and bedraggled. That cat is still alive and well now, and he's 12.
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Offline Voixdelion

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« Reply #21 on: Sun, 06 June 2010, 23:11:09 »
I feel for you.  I too have furry family members who lack opposable thumbs.

 Also though, I can offer this advice:  Check shelters from surrounding towns as well as those local (and vet clinics and dog parks and pet stores are a great place to put flyers since other pet owners often take in strays).  My moms dogs went awander one day and none of the local shelters had them and they hadn't turned up at the door whining for dinner either.  Oddly enough, after several days of futile searching, I had a dream that showed me both of them sitting in a kennel at a shelter after discarding the notion that they could be at a shelter that was over a 45 minute drive away.  

The next day I drove down there; sure enough that's where they were, and almost ready to be adopted out since the hold time was over on that day.   I didn't realize the shelter could be so far from where they were actually picked up, but the way the county/city zoning is drawn, they fell under the other jurisdiction and got schelpped pretty far after getting picked up pretty close to home.    If someplace is too far to drive to easily you could also call, but it's better to check it out first-hand if you can, though I wouldn't have found them at all were it not for that prophetic dream. ( and  I'm convinced it was my pal who passed on who sent me the 411 - great dog, he was.  Lassie had nothing on him; never heard of her barking out "Timmy's in the well" from the great beyond!)

Good luck.  (and I'll send a mental message to my buddy to send you some inspiration if he knows where to find her =D)

Afterthought:  My boyfriend lost his rottie once when he was still a pup and managed to locate him by talking to the local "rent-a-cop" security patrols that do rounds through the neighborhood doing drive by checks on subscribed houses (Westec, or what have you, you know the kind I mean?)  Since they are already making the rounds, he figured it wouldn't hurt to ask them to keep an eye open for his dog and it proved to be a winning strategy.  After a bit, one of the guys drove back and told him he might have found the dog, but he wouldn't come to him.  He had to take Chad over to where he saw him and he was there hiding in the bushes all scared and timid, but even Chad didn't see him at first.  He came bounding out with much relief after Chad peered in and called him, though.   Good call on Chad's part, though.  Those guys might not think anything of a dog they see unless someone has brought it to the front of their mind with something specific to associate, and they cover a lot of ground.  Its worth a shot.

Also how old is she?  You mention that there are other dogs also who remained behind and only she was gone? Not to be a downer, but we had a couple shepherds who both took off when their time came, and I understand that it is common for dogs to try to leave when they feel death is imminent.  One we never did find (he was notorious for escaping anything, but usually turned up after not too long on his own except for the last time). The other only made it as far as the neighbors lawn before succumbing to old age, leaving a legacy of a number of holes dug in the yard sometime during the night when he had never been a digger before.  With that in mind, we tried to honor what we assumed to be his last wishes and buried him in the yard despite the laws which prohibit it.  If she was not usually a runner, this might be her way of sparing you the pain of her death.  Don't give up hope, though.  I do hope she turns up no worse for wear, it was just something that bears mention.
« Last Edit: Sun, 06 June 2010, 23:40:46 by Voixdelion »
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Offline type_dancer

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« Reply #22 on: Sun, 06 June 2010, 23:24:58 »
So glad it worked out for you guys. We checked all the shelters and left fliers with the ones who would take them and check the other one daily. Ones up to an hour away.
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Offline Voixdelion

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« Reply #23 on: Mon, 07 June 2010, 00:00:52 »
Here's some additional links that may be of use.  I would try the online databases of postings first and check out some of the tips pages for additional ideas

tips for search that you may not have considered with links to other tools for listing/posting lost pets:

http://www.lostmydoggie.com/tips.cfm
http://www.catsinthebag.org/
http://www.missingpetpartnership.org/recovery-lostdog.php
http://www.petfinder.com/after-pet-adoption/find-lost-dog.html

online search/databases of lost and found pets (mostly free -  plus a couple paid services for hire)

http://www.fidofinder.com/?gclid=CLu-o_2XjaICFQ8bawodGiNnVA
http://www.pets911.com/services/lostandfound/?set_postalCode=zip%20code
http://www.missingpets.com/
http://www.missingpet.net/index.html
http://www.lostmydoggie.com/

http://www.lostapet.org
http://www.findfido.com/
http://www.petamberalert.com/

http://www.electrapetdetective.com/index.htm
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Offline type_dancer

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« Reply #24 on: Mon, 07 June 2010, 00:38:07 »
I've done a lot of those but some I haven't heard of. Thank you!
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