Married with Keyboards

[KillerBee]

How do you guys cope with the Spouse and the Boards?

I only had one Model M (1390120 Feb. 1986) but then I got the itch for a 1985 board again... 45 dollars (wife alert!! bananas) I was approved for the buy... Industrial Case 30 dollars... (paid with Money Order as a sneaky move to avoid the wife) box-o-parts 15 dollars (told wife free) hahaha

When she was my GF and Fiance I had about 10 Model M's but because of her I sold them all, kept one for sake of hobby and habit...

The 1986 will go to the office the 1985 will go to the house, receive a bolt mod, RGB set and a pretty industrial case and lavender WASD jajajaja

[lightsout714]

Thats some sneaky stuff for a few bucks. I can't say I haven't ordered something on the down low. I'm sure your wife spends money on pointless stuff? Nails, hair?

[fohat.digs]

I do pretty much the same thing as you.

My garage and basement are large enough that multiple boxes can lurk in the clutter.

A Post Office box and Paypal can be helpful.

PS - my wife thinks that the only truly great keyboard is whatever Apple has manufactured in the past 6 months.

[KillerBee]

Thats some sneaky stuff for a few bucks. I can't say I haven't ordered something on the down low. I'm sure your wife spends money on pointless stuff? Nails, hair?

No thing is that purchases must mean something for her... I used to be a COMPUSIVE Buyer... hehehe but now I am more controlled I just ask myself "do I need this?" YES "will I use it?" YES....

[o2dazone]

Sounds like something you need to solve at a higher level. Sneaking stuff in to the house is just a solution for a much bigger problem. If she can't understand you have hobbies, then she needs to. And it's not a matter of "We need to save money." You work for a living, and you need to spend money sometimes to remind yourself why you work. This goes for anything, boutique keyboards, videogames, movies, etc. It seems like she has an issue with you buying stuff in general, which is really easy to combat. Unless she's the breadwinner.

I would NOT mention the "Well you spend money on hair nails etc", because then you've dwindled the argument down to a "he said she said". Additionally, a lot of women who like to spruce themselves up with make up and hair products take serious offense when you put all that in question. Just say, you have a new hobby, and that's how it is. And if money is an issue, then reminder of The Shining. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy

[alaricljs]

Time to explain to her that your purchases don't need to mean **** to her as long as they mean something to you.  Of course, it would help if everything else of any real importance is taken care of first

[lightsout714]

Sounds like something you need to solve at a higher level. Sneaking stuff in to the house is just a solution for a much bigger problem. If she can't understand you have hobbies, then she needs to. And it's not a matter of "We need to save money." You work for a living, and you need to spend money sometimes to remind yourself why you work. This goes for anything, boutique keyboards, videogames, movies, etc. It seems like she has an issue with you buying stuff in general, which is really easy to combat. Unless she's the breadwinner.

I would NOT mention the "Well you spend money on hair nails etc", because then you've dwindled the argument down to a "he said she said". Additionally, a lot of women who like to spruce themselves up with make up and hair products take serious offense when you put all that in question. Just say, you have a new hobby, and that's how it is. And if money is an issue, then reminder of The Shining. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy

Well said.

[hashbaz]

I agree with most of the general advice people are giving you.  Hobbies are important, even if the activities or things involved aren't important per se.  Assuming that you can afford to buy key caps and keyboards periodically, whether or not your wife "gets it" shouldn't be an issue.  She should recognize that it's important to you.

Just remember to keep it reasonable.  I would have waaaay more keyboard junk if my only responsibility was myself.  I actually think my wife's skeptical eye is good for me in that sense.

And also remember that sneaking around implies that you feel constrained, and feeling constrained can lead to resentment, which can ruin a marriage.  So definitely talk about it with her.

[Kamikaze K]

Sounds like something you need to solve at a higher level. Sneaking stuff in to the house is just a solution for a much bigger problem. If she can't understand you have hobbies, then she needs to. And it's not a matter of "We need to save money." You work for a living, and you need to spend money sometimes to remind yourself why you work. This goes for anything, boutique keyboards, videogames, movies, etc. It seems like she has an issue with you buying stuff in general, which is really easy to combat. Unless she's the breadwinner.

I would NOT mention the "Well you spend money on hair nails etc", because then you've dwindled the argument down to a "he said she said". Additionally, a lot of women who like to spruce themselves up with make up and hair products take serious offense when you put all that in question. Just say, you have a new hobby, and that's how it is. And if money is an issue, then reminder of The Shining. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy

AAAmen.

[warzer0]

Sounds like you need to find a new wife... (jk)

[cactux]

Man, you are not the only one facing this dilemma. I have my whole collection at work ;-)

[isp]

Whatever you do... don't let her see these forums

[demik]

i dont know what's going on in this thread

foreveralone.jpg

[daerid]

I make most of the money, so I decide what I buy when. Never a problem.

[patrickgeekhack]

I am lucky in that I can buy as many keyboards as I want. My wife does not care. I have also spent serious money on fountain pens. One time seeing how much I liked a Sailor fountain pen, she wanted to buy it for me. I did not let her because it was a $400 pen.  It's actually me who tend to ask if I need yet another keyboard. My last three keyboards (2 AEK and 1 AEK II) have been used ones costing about $20 each.

[KillerBee]

Thanks Guys, I really wanted the second board and she allowed me to but the other stuff was extra, the dillema started when a PM notification came in to my email about me wanting to bolt mod my Model M and offering money to others for the service... she defenetely blew a gasket since I had offered a cool 100, she allows me to have my hobbies, one of them saved her life in some way...

Last December she needed her gall bladder removed and I did not have all the funds for it, so I sold my NES and SNES collection and completed her operation, its things like these that I can be happy about... I now have a NES and SNES but no games hahahahaha...

My relationship is fine with her and my hobbies too I cant just go OVERBOARD... 2 Model M's are good and The NES and SNES are good and she even when the time is right is alowing me to go back into the Audiophile game again...

[patrickgeekhack]

Communication is the key. Like O2dazone has said, sneaking things is a sure recipe for disaster. You don't want your relationship to be based on secrets.

[Gawkbasher]

And it's not a matter of "We need to save money."

My rule of thumb here is: "A penny saved is a penny that goes half to her and half to pay for the divorce."

Not to be hostile or nothin'.  With inflation as it is and the current economic situation, saving beyond a 3-6 month buffer doesn't sound like a long-term wealth strategy.  I'd say trading > investing > quality of life spending > saving...but that's a topic for a different thread.

And whatever you do, do it though a manager-managed LLC that has at least one more owner than just you (even at a 2% stake or something...).  

[Bertross]

i do what i want, i get a PC budget every month. I swap and sell all the time.

[furry_angina]

She should be glad it's just keyboards you're into (correct me if im wrong)... and not modding cars, bikes, etc lol.

[Bertross]

Pcs and KBs lol. PC costs a lot. bought about 10 GPUs last year and 2 exp LCds and various cases. Lian Li x900 costed a bit.

[heliar]

keyboard is the actually one of the cheapest toys out there, even cheaper considering how much we use them.

[KillerBee]

She should be glad it's just keyboards you're into (correct me if im wrong)... and not modding cars, bikes, etc lol.

jejeje...

AUDIOPHILE
CAR MODDING (2 AE86's)
KEYBOARDS
VIDEO GAMES
MARETIME BOOKS
CYCLING

jejeje so I think she has reason to bicker sometimes...

[sawedust]

Wife and I compromise.

Granted I may not love my keyboards as much as you guys do, but I have personal expenses that I need to take care of too.  Recently I've invested in a nice set of PBT keycaps (which should arrive shortly!), customized StarCraft II keycaps, new mouse, new gaming surface, new headphones and even a brand new rig that I built myself.

In the meantime, she's bought loads of shoes, bags, and makeup.

We're both happy, both satisfied, and we're living within our means and budget.

The important thing to keep in mind is for both of you guys to know that you have your own hobbies and they should be respected.  While I'm not necessarily a big fan of my wife getting more shoes/bags/makeup (what's wrong with the stuff you have now?!), I understand that for women it's an accessory in the same way new gear is for us.  She probably feels the same way about my computer and gaming gear.

We still respect each other's decision, and we don't knock each other for buying new stuff.  We each see how getting these new toys make us happy, and isn't that what we want for each other?

Always communicate with your spouse and let them know what's up.  If you're planning on a purchase, let her know.  No need to be sneaking around as that could cause trust issues and lead to bigger problems.  There needs to be a mutual understanding of you both having your own thing, and the other should respect that.

tl;dr - Compromise.  Respect.  Communicate.

[mrbonk]

You know what they say......"Marriage is betting someone half your sh!t that you will love them forever."

[Rumudiez]

You know what they say......"Marriage is betting someone half your sh!t that you will love them forever."

and that they'll stay with you, too! haha. this thread has some pretty kickass quotes, i must say

[furry_angina]

Compromise.  Respect.  Communicate.

^ this

Well I'm **** out of luck because I love technology/gadgets, have a nice purse collection going, and buy pricey make up--but hey at least I'm not into shoes, although 10 pairs of boots are a bit much lol.

[mrbonk]

this thread has some pretty kickass quotes, i must say

Heh....yeah, well, I know whereof I speak.  Divorced once already and round 2 isn't looking that great either :doh:

[FKSSR]

Personally, I think it's this easy: Budget

Create a budget both of you agree on.  Then, whatever money you have to spend, you spend it on whatever you want.

There may be a lot of discussion when creating a budget, but I think that is necessary.  As others have said, you have to prioritize what you spend money on.  If you can only afford to spend $100 a month on stuff like keyboards, you probably shouldn't spend more than that...  If you can, then she shouldn't be complaining what you spend it on.

I think it's immature to spend whatever you want without thinking about necessities and savings, et cetera.  However, like others have said, there needs to be money for hobbies and entertainment.  Even the most strict budgets out there say that!

P.S.  For anyone that is not married yet, you NEED to discuss stuff like budgets during marriage counseling.  I'm 100% serious about this, because this is one of the things that causes divorces.  Ask any marriage counselor, and he/she will tell you that budget/money is almost always the top concern for couples.  Personally, my wife and I did a money budget very easily...but "time budgeting" was much harder.  It was hard for her to understand the amount of time I like to play video games.  We worked that out, though.

[Daniel Beaver]

You guys are further convincing me that I should never get married.

[alaricljs]

You guys are further convincing me that I should never get married.

Well, my situation is completely the opposite of what's being expressed here.  I didn't think it was necessary to pipe in with 'this is how a healthy relationship works' but if it makes you feel better it's not impossible to find someone and develop a healthy relationship from the start rather than try to hammer a healthy relationship out of something that's not as close as it should be.

My wife encourages me to spend money on my hobbies.  She frequently brings up the possibility of going back to work (she's a mom taking care of our kids @ home) so that she can 'contribute.'  She has no issue spending money on her own hobbies but knows that frivolous spending is a bad idea.

This is how our relationship has been from the start.  We combined our personal lives (aka banking/credit) well before we married.  We cooperated to pay down both our debts that much faster.  Then we also paid for our dream wedding (well hers, but that's what it's about) since there was no chance our parents could do anything to help.

We've been married for 10+ years and I have never doubted my choice in the slightest.  I trust that she feels much the same way because we talk about everything.

[cactux]

^ Congratulations, sounds like you found your other half ;-)

[furry_angina]

Mind PMing me some pics?

Videos OK too.
[video=youtube;JzJhAHvyW6Q]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzJhAHvyW6Q[/video]

[video=youtube;8lmom4FHbBY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lmom4FHbBY[/video]

What is this...I don't even... well at least they're not kittens *vomit*

[drsauced]

You might also not want your wife to do the taxes.  I am fortunate enough to be able to expense my keyboard purchases (it's job-related, loosely), but then the wife asked how much I've spent in the last year on keyboards.  It wasn't as much as my wife spent on shoes and bags, though, but it was pretty close.

[Input Nirvana]

Well, my situation is completely the opposite of what's being expressed here.  I didn't think it was necessary to pipe in with 'this is how a healthy relationship works' but if it makes you feel better it's not impossible to find someone and develop a healthy relationship from the start rather than try to hammer a healthy relationship out of something that's not as close as it should be.

My wife encourages me to spend money on my hobbies.  She frequently brings up the possibility of going back to work (she's a mom taking care of our kids @ home) so that she can 'contribute.'  She has no issue spending money on her own hobbies but knows that frivolous spending is a bad idea.

This is how our relationship has been from the start.  We combined our personal lives (aka banking/credit) well before we married.  We cooperated to pay down both our debts that much faster.  Then we also paid for our dream wedding (well hers, but that's what it's about) since there was no chance our parents could do anything to help.

We've been married for 10+ years and I have never doubted my choice in the slightest.  I trust that she feels much the same way because we talk about everything.

You are my hero. Living the dream. This is EXACTLY how it can be, I have no idea why people don't put more effort into being with the right person...it changes every day of your life. Your best friend relationship.

Ripster posted some heavy-hefties dancing on keyboards. I exercise my right not to watch. Ick.

[patrickgeekhack]

Ripster posted some heavy-hefties dancing on keyboards. I exercise my right not to watch. Ick.

I still don't understand why someone would make a video of keyboard trampling.

[patrickgeekhack]

does anyone ever need any reason to have a fetish?

Nope:whip:

[Encryptor]

No thing is that purchases must mean something for her... I used to be a COMPUSIVE Buyer... hehehe but now I am more controlled I just ask myself "do I need this?" YES "will I use it?" YES....

If its something you're going to use, don't feel bad about it!  I can kind of understand your wife's concerns regarding your purchases.. my husband collects record albums.  We live in a tiny apartment.  There are record albums everywhere.  But they are easy to store away so it's not that big of a deal.  If he was collecting bulkier items, like if he had piles of keyboards everywhere, I might freak out a little bit.

[Deverica Wolf]

My wife never see or hears my keyboard because she is always in the kitchen or bedroom. BOOYA! :rapture:

[Input Nirvana]

My wife never see or hears my keyboard because she is always in the kitchen or bedroom. BOOYA! :rapture:

Funny ****!

[FKSSR]

I just want to second everything that alaricljs said.  You could combine that with my post to get an even more complete picture of my thoughts!

[eth0s]

My advice:  don't keep secrets from your wife.  (Unless you have a feet-on-keyboards fetish, that is.)  

But seriously, unless you are spending the rent money on keyboards, your wife needs to be more understanding that a man needs something in his life besides work, eat, sleep.  And $45 for a keyboard is hardly a budget buster.  

Now with that said, spending money on keyboards is still a tricky situation for two reasons:  (1) the "He doesn't really love me" problem:  women hate it when you buy something for yourself, because they think, for some irrational reason:  "If he really loved me, he would have spent that $45 on me."  Now you can try to talk to her reasonably and calmly about this, and she may even admit that she knows her feelings are irrational, but she will feel it anyway.  It's just how women perceive the world.  I have no idea why.  (2)  The "clutter" problem:  simply put, your wife thinks that your house is hers.  And so everything you bring home is just clutter in HER house.  Everything that she brings home of course, is an essential item, that your home cannot do without.  I'm no anthropologist, but I'll bet the first caveman had a problem in that first cave when he brought home a few extra hunting clubs, and then he caught bloody hell, when his cave-wife saw that pile of clubs in her cave.  

And finally, I have to LOL @ whoever said when women spend money on makeup, hair and nails, it's wasteful.  I sincerely hope you guys are gay, or willing to experiment, because you are never going to have a relationship with a woman, until you realize that spending money on makeup, hair, nails and shoes (and handbags), are necessities, not luxuries, to a woman.  If you keep your girl-friend/ wife well-stocked with that stuff, you can do almost anything.  Oh you should learn to buy jewelry too, preferably Tiffany.  Just my advice.   You can continue to do it your way, because spending time with men is fun too.  Personally, I like having sex with women, but everybody has to make up their own mind about that, I guess.

[alaricljs]

And finally, I have to LOL @ whoever said when women spend money on makeup, hair and nails, it's wasteful.  I sincerely hope you guys are gay, or willing to experiment, because you are never going to have a relationship with a woman, until you realize that spending money on makeup, hair, nails and shoes (and handbags), are necessities, not luxuries, to a woman.  If you keep your girl-friend/ wife well-stocked with that stuff, you can do almost anything.  Oh you should learn to buy jewelry too, preferably Tiffany.  Just my advice.   You can continue to do it your way, because spending time with men is fun too.  Personally, I like having sex with women, but everybody has to make up their own mind about that, I guess.

Well, this is not universally true.  My wife has not bought or received jewelry from anyone since I gave her the wedding ring.  Her shoe budget is smaller than mine (I do enough labor to destroy shoes faster than I would like), she has no purse collection.  She goes to the salon for hair and what-not once or twice a year.  She buys makeup with even less regularity but she does wear it for special occasions.

Let me just clear up your likely first impression having said all that... the only reason she doesn't get hit on a whole lot more is because I'm one intimidating MF.

[Bertross]

Wives.  Just don't understand my Keyboard Science.
(Attachment Link) 40398[/ATTACH]

i tried to get my misses to have a tappa tap on my new Filco MX brown. told me to **** off and she don't care lol. Made her a hot chocolate then was all good. Hmmm browny points.

[patrickgeekhack]

My advice:  don't keep secrets from your wife.  (Unless you have a feet-on-keyboards fetish, that is.)  

I disagree. If he has taht kind of fetish, maybe they can work out some kind of compromise :-)

And finally, I have to LOL @ whoever said when women spend money on makeup, hair and nails, it's wasteful.  I sincerely hope you guys are gay, or willing to experiment, because you are never going to have a relationship with a woman, until you realize that spending money on makeup, hair, nails and shoes (and handbags), are necessities, not luxuries, to a woman.  If you keep your girl-friend/ wife well-stocked with that stuff, you can do almost anything.  Oh you should learn to buy jewelry too, preferably Tiffany.  Just my advice.   You can continue to do it your way, because spending time with men is fun too.  Personally, I like having sex with women, but everybody has to make up their own mind about that, I guess.

I am lucky financially in the sense that my wife does not care a lot for jewelry. Besides the wedding right and the engagement ring, she only asked me to buy her another ring once, and that was because we were able to get it duty free.

I like her buying shoes, make up, etc because I love seeing her well dressed. She is the most important woman in my life after all.

Every couple is different. It's up to each to find what works best.

[Encryptor]

Well, this is not universally true.  My wife has not bought or received jewelry from anyone since I gave her the wedding ring.  Her shoe budget is smaller than mine (I do enough labor to destroy shoes faster than I would like), she has no purse collection.  She goes to the salon for hair and what-not once or twice a year.  She buys makeup with even less regularity but she does wear it for special occasions.

Let me just clear up your likely first impression having said all that... the only reason she doesn't get hit on a whole lot more is because I'm one intimidating MF.

Your wife sounds similar to me.  I don't have much face-to-face interaction at my job so I don't wear much makeup, just moisturizer (men should wear that too) and lip stuff.  If I am fancying-it-up, I put on mascara.  Some women, on the other hand, were raised to have like a 20-step leaving-the-house makeup process.  My mom takes about an hour to get ready.  Eye liner, lip liner, etc etc.  She cannot understand why I would ever leave the house without mascara!  Gasp gasp gasp

[Encryptor]

Perfume is nice, too, if you have a good sense of smell.

[Deverica Wolf]

I buy tons of jewelry for my wife.  Trust me, it works very, very well. Especially if you have good taste like I do.

So then, they are all little keyboard chains and earrings?

[Roguemaster8]

So then, they are all little keyboard chains and earrings?

[ Attachment Invalid Or Does Not Exist ] 40446[/ATTACH]

My Valentine's Day conundrum is now solved, thanks Ripster and Derverica!

[Encryptor]

(Attachment Link) 40446[/ATTACH]

My Valentine's Day conundrum is now solved, thanks Ripster and Derverica!

haha I would love that.  :rofl: