I'm in the same boat as you (minus the machette wounds). I just really want a MS-4K equivilent, but with mechanical switches. (But to silence the critics... yes, I'm going to try the ErgoDox... got one on order...)
Since it doesn't look like anyone is inclined to make one commercially, I'm starting to figure out how to do it myself. I just got a big box from Mouser this morning with a couple hundred switches, and thousands of diodes and such.
I figure this will take me a few months to figure out, but I'll certainly be sharing anything I come up with here on GH, including PCB/plate layouts, firmware, case-designs, etc.