ANOTHER UPDATE:
Sorry for the double post, but I think circumstances merit this being in it's own post. Yes, it's that bad...
Turns out the reason Drive isn't working: my workplace is BLOCKING it!
*double facepalm*
They're also blocking Imgur, so pretty much all threads with images look like threads of empty/broken images.
Turns out they're blocking all "personal storage" sites, including Google Drive, Imgur, and Dropbox. Which is monumentally stupid, considering that Drive and Dropbox are two services my company used on a daily basis.
*triple facepalm*
GG IT department, GG...