Thanks for the offer, mobbo! I'd really like to get a (off)white pbt space bar to match the rest of the board, though.
So I re-seated the spacebar as you guys described and it marginally helped make it more consistent-sounding, but I'm still hearing a slight click, and now the upstroke seems a bit louder than before. All in all, it's marginally 'better', I re-seated it a few times and got it as quiet as I could that way.
Looks like the next step may be the PBT space bar route route as soon as I can find one. This is at least bearable now, though. If I end up taking it apart and lubing it or installing some sort of pad to help with silencing, I'll explain it here.