My Ergo Pro had the same multiple keypress issue as yours out of the box, and over the months it started spreading to other keys as well, so...I understand the feeling!
Some things I did to try to alleviate the problem:
1) Slot a card under the keycap and press a few times so as to "straighten" it out (suggested by Matias helpdesk when I emailed them about this issue).
Efficiency: Didn't work at all, so I don't think it was a misalignment problem.
2) Use petroleum jelly on the stems (also suggested by Matias helpdesk).
Efficiency: Nope!
3) Jiggle the switch around (my own invention out of desperation)
Efficiency: Worked...but only for a while before it came back with a vengeance.
4) Find the right angle to press the key so that it only types once!
Efficiency: Quite good, as long as you can remember to press the key exactly at that angle all the time!
Maybe one of the methods will work for you, I'm not sure, but maybe give it a go if you're feeling up to it! I'm not handy at all, so I didn't try to take the keyboard apart or anything like that.
As for the phantom keypresses, I've never been able to solve those either.
My faulty key is 3 and it recently spread to the w row. Also, the keyboard sometimes inserts a 6 or 7 without my fingers being anywhere near the number row. Also also, my \ key died (completely unresponsive) a few months ago without any reason whatsoever. I thought hey, I can live without that key! and continued using the board. Finally, just last week, my ; key died as well. Alas, since I cannot live without that key, and the keys on this board cannot be programmed, I've had no choice but to retire my dearly beloved Ergo Pro and switched to another board, because, like you, I simply could not justify paying that price (plus international shipping in my case) again for the possibility of a repeat of this.
The typing experience was soooo goooood though. How I wish I could continue using it!
@Fleat
Completely understood your rant as well! Now that you've popped your post cherry so to speak, join us in the other forums too!
You've gotta have a lot to share with those 20 mech boards of yours!