Keyboards with terrible names

[Findecanor]

Kul is pretty bad too. Also means something terrible in another language.

It is actually the word for "fun" in Swedish. Yet they they don't make any keyboards in Swedish layout. *hint*

Ducky Shine just sounds like a carwash for ducks.

I associate it with toilet cleaner products. Because of WC Duck.

[jamster]

(Attachment Link)

Lolita by itself is kinda funny, but I see that they have a model called "spyder". Which is highly unfortunate as "rock spider" is prison slang for paedophile.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rock+spider

Noopoo Lolita Spyder. So many thing wrong in that name.

[davkol]

Actually, Spyder (spelled like that) is also a luxury brand of sport fashion wear, as well as a couple of other things.

[jamster]

Weird double posting thing

[davkol]

Are you worried that someone would find out?

[ander]

When I lived in Japan, we saw goofy product names all the time. A few that come to mind:

Homely Cookies (with a picture of a home on the package)

Creep coffee creamer (contraction of "creamy" and "powder")

Pokari Sweat (a popular soft drink)

Keyboard-wise... I understand what Topre was thinking with Type Heaven, but it makes me think of dead people.

[GL1TCH3D]

I always thought of the type heaven as typing heaven.

JD40 ALWAYS makes me thing of WD40

Ducky Shine really does sound like some kind of car wax or polish

From Wikipedia: Lolita, a slang term for a sexually attractive, seductive or precocious young girl

I understand blackwidow because you want to kill yourself with all the buyer's remorse.

[Findecanor]

All the thermaltake tt esports keyboards have pretty dumb names too.

Hmmm..

Knucker Plunger Gaming Keyboard

From Urban Dictionary:
knucker: A "whigger", a white person who acts all gangster and stuff
knucking: Inserting the index finger two knuckles deep

[JaccoW]

Kul is pretty bad too. Also means something terrible in another language.
Cooler master is also a terrible name because that just makes you think OEM pc fans.
Leopold makes me think of a leotard or some kind of weird royalty.

"Kul" is a mild way to say something is bull**** in Dutch.
Leopold was/is a king.

[jamster]

"Kul" is a mild way to say something is bull**** in Dutch.
Leopold was/is a king.

Yep, I read a biography on Leopold II (the better known of the two Leopolds), the king took and colonised the Congo as a private holding, and set it up in a way that guaranteed the country would be a clusterf*ck for centuries to come. Kind of put me off the boards a bit when I was looking at them tbh. Yeah, I know that's weird.

[techy1]

I think the KULs have terrible names. It doesnt flow. Kuuhl?

[berserkfan]

Really can't stand the branding on most of these Chinese products, keyboard or not. They think that inventing a Western name /any name not in Chinese characters is cool. Usually it is not.

Lots of people in China nowadays learn English, and a good number DO have good English skills. It really annoys me that most Chinese businesses haven't learned the importance of good branding, and start patronizing professional writers and ad agencies to get their product right.

The Jizz, for instance, comes from Jizi - the two characters you see on their box. In Chinese that means Extremely Brainy. And no, it is not a good name for a gaming keyboard in Chinese either. It's a totally nerd name. I wouldn't have branded it Jizi in Chinese either.

[faceyourfaces]

"Kul" is a mild way to say something is bull**** in Dutch.
Leopold was/is a king.

Yep, I read a biography on Leopold II (the better known of the two Leopolds), the king took and colonised the Congo as a private holding, and set it up in a way that guaranteed the country would be a clusterf*ck for centuries to come. Kind of put me off the boards a bit when I was looking at them tbh. Yeah, I know that's weird.

That's all I can think about whenever I hear of Leopold: that Belgian king that forced millions of Congolese people to collect rubber; cutting their hands off as a punishment if they did not meet their quotas.

[jacobolus]

liquor in the rear.

Don’t try this at home folks: http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-13.html

(21 May 2004, Texas) Michael was an alcoholic. And not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor, well, rectally. His wife said he was "addicted to enemas" and often used alcohol in this manner. The result was the same: inebriation.

The machine shop owner couldn't imbibe alcohol by mouth due to a painful throat ailment, so he elected to receive his favourite beverage via enema. And tonight, Michael was in for one hell of a party. Two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry, more than 100 fluid ounces, right up the old address!

When the rest of us have had enough, we either stop drinking or pass out. When Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out) the alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed. The next morning, Michael was dead.

The 58-year-old did a pretty good job of embalming himself. According to toxicology reports, his blood alcohol level was 0.47%.

In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment." Three litres of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding. Unsurprisingly, his neighbors said they were surprised to learn of the incident.

[fohat.digs]

"astounding misapplication of judgment."

Wow!

And I used to think that I occasionally had "kind of a bloated feeling" after overeating.

[berserkfan]

"astounding misapplication of judgment."

Wow!

And I used to think that I occasionally had "kind of a bloated feeling" after overeating.

You don't try to consume your food by putting it in your butt and letting them get absorbed, do you?

That's really a very interesting way of eating though... I wonder if I should give the kids milk enemas the next time they refuse to eat their dinners.

[lucaslink]

The Royal Kludge thread reminded me of this board which I came across a couple of weeks ago.

Perhaps it's waterproof and is marketed towards teenage males.

it.. it actually is.

JiZZ-GX16-Waterproof-LED-Backlight-Mechanical-Handfeel-Gaming-KeyboarD

[Findecanor]

JiZZ-GX16-Waterproof-LED-Backlight-Mechanical-Handfeel-Gaming-KeyboarD

Is that a title off an eBay auction? Have you heard of "keyword spamming" before? ...

[jameslr]

No Logitech "Orion spark" yet? On the flip side - I think Duck's keyboard names are pretty good: Viper, Eagle, Lightsaver, etc.

[sethk_]

LZ-CP is pretty bad

[Snarfangel]

Of course, it's not just keyboards...

 

[0100010]

liquor in the rear.

Don’t try this at home folks: http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007-13.html

(21 May 2004, Texas) Michael was an alcoholic. And not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor, well, rectally. His wife said he was "addicted to enemas" and often used alcohol in this manner. The result was the same: inebriation.

The machine shop owner couldn't imbibe alcohol by mouth due to a painful throat ailment, so he elected to receive his favourite beverage via enema. And tonight, Michael was in for one hell of a party. Two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry, more than 100 fluid ounces, right up the old address!

When the rest of us have had enough, we either stop drinking or pass out. When Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out) the alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed. The next morning, Michael was dead.

The 58-year-old did a pretty good job of embalming himself. According to toxicology reports, his blood alcohol level was 0.47%.

In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment." Three litres of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding. Unsurprisingly, his neighbors said they were surprised to learn of the incident.

Ah - I misspoke.

Liquor up front, Poker in the rear.

[lucaslink]

Is that a title off an eBay auction? Have you heard of "keyword spamming" before? ...

no it isn't. and yes i have. is there an issue with my post? OP said "Perhaps it's waterproof" and I discovered a version of it that actually is water/jizz proof from a less than reputable vendor, not at all to do with ebay.

[berserkfan]

Is that a title off an eBay auction? Have you heard of "keyword spamming" before? ...

no it isn't. and yes i have. is there an issue with my post? OP said "Perhaps it's waterproof" and I discovered a version of it that actually is water/jizz proof from a less than reputable vendor, not at all to do with ebay.

Pray tell, how did you realize that version was water/ jizz proof? I hope that less than reputable  vendor did not pee and jizz on it to demonstrate that it was indeed proof against these fluids? 

Isn't it funny if you receive a filthy keyboard in the mail, and the slimy vendor claims it was intentional to prove to you the quality of the board?

[Data]

Anything Ducky.

I have an Octagon but I'll be the first to admit there's nothing remotely octagonal about it.  It's a damn rectangle.  Still not as bad as Ducky though.

[flamf]

SteelSeries 6G & 7G. Apparently solid boards, but 6.000$ ? And for 1.000$ more you get the 6G with a wrist rest...

[lucaslink]

Pray tell, how did you realize that version was water/ jizz proof? I hope that less than reputable  vendor did not pee and jizz on it to demonstrate that it was indeed proof against these fluids? 

Isn't it funny if you receive a filthy keyboard in the mail, and the slimy vendor claims it was intentional to prove to you the quality of the board?

LOL

[Hyde]

^  LOL what keyboard is that?

Ducky Shine just sounds like a carwash for ducks.

Not exactly the same but close enough.

Ducky All Purpose Cleaner

[Data]

I think the KULs have terrible names. It doesnt flow. Kuuhl?

It's Keyed Up Labs. So... the name is an acronym. I don't think you're supposed to pronounce it that way.

[hwood34]

I think the KULs have terrible names. It doesnt flow. Kuuhl?

It's Keyed Up Labs. So... the name is an acronym. I don't think you're supposed to pronounce it that way.

pronounced like "cool"

[berserkfan]

I think most people would not think of banggood as less than reputable... it's perfectly ok.

[MajorMajor]

"Das Keyboard Silent"

Anyone who has ever used a keyboard knows it won't be anything close to silent! I'm guessing they had too many returns for that reason and re-branded it "Model S".

[janvkn]

How about Cougar Attack 2

No that's not the name of a porno...

http://www.cougargaming.com/products/keyboards/cougar_attack_2.html

[lucaslink]

^  LOL what keyboard is that?

It's the Jizz Waterproof Mechanical Handfeel Keyboard!

[kernel]

-

[superhostile]

if we count something off keyboards.. Banggood?

BANGGOOD RUBBER O-RINGS always looks unassuming on my credit card statement

[jerue]

Razer's Blackwidow and Blackwidow Ultimate.

It's not a great keyboard to begin with, but they have some strange names for their products. Ouroboros. Tartarus. Why does it all have to be so greek?

[jamster]

I would have said that Razer's naming is pretty good from a branding perspective. They sound 'cool' to the target market (impressionable gamers) and are generally taken from various mythologies (Not just Greek- Naga is Indian, Anasai or whatever it is is African) or named after spiders.

[sethk_]

Razer's Blackwidow and Blackwidow Ultimate.

It's not a great keyboard to begin with, but they have some strange names for their products. Ouroboros. Tartarus. Why does it all have to be so greek?

Most, if not all, are from reptiles, and I think all are spiders/snakes. It goes along with what they have previously done, and would be a retarded thing to just suddenly stop it. IMO the naming system they have is better than most companies in the similar market, like Corsairs is a good naming technique in a technical sense, but has no appeal to the name, and logitechs as far as I can tell doesn't make much sense at all.