Dear Santa,
I want a new job - I know how to write java code (I used to program in C and asm but I'm not proud of it - most times when I mention it they call me "dinosaur"), I know how to wash dishes, I can teach Portuguese to your dwarfs, I can teach your deers to play football, I can kill your neighbor's cat (or the neighbor) and I can do your wife too (just in case).
I swear that you will never ever will have to listen to me complaining about my country's politics, my poor mother or my drunk junkie father. I can sing any rap music you like (although I don't have any idea of what I'm singing yo).
I can work assembling iPhones to your rich childrens (no more than 20 hours per day, please, plus odonto if possible) ...
I'm 42, married without child, dogs, cats, pleas, home, car, insurance, health care and social life.
Don't worry about my wife - she will send her wishes up to Friday and she does accept to travel via USPS.
Thanks Santa!
PS: I've already tried google but they don't want me, something related to ADD
