Author Topic: GAF  (Read 1454485 times)

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Offline YiZZo

  • Posts: 62
  • Location: California
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #250 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 19:32:50 »
in college my wife (then girlfriend) took a big dump. her lincoln log poop wouldn't go down the toilet. so she yelled for help and i got a knife from the kitchen and cut in half. granted this was her apartment with her female rooommates. they were all grossed out, lol

Offline Koala-T

  • Posts: 12
  • Location: Los Angeles, CA
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Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #251 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 19:38:28 »
Definitely Ponyo's ass rice.

You remember well, I'm sure.

Offline EternalD

  • Posts: 13
  • Location: Los Angeles, CA
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Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #252 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 19:39:21 »
In my sophomore year of college, I shared a 3 bedroom apartment with 4 of my friends. What started as a dream come true eventually became a nightmare. They were dirty, unkept, and all around slobs. They all smoked weed though so we managed to numbed our care for cleanliness with a constant fade.

We kept the bong (large and opaque) in the kitchen as to not raise suspicion if someone looked through our windows. Incidentally, the kitchen was one of if not THE MOST dirty places in the house. Uncleaned dishes, various rotting foods, you get the idea. At this point it should go without saying that we rarely changed the water out...

Well one day we are practicing our daily ritual; grab the bong, pack the goods, put in some GoT and chill. We have collectively smoked a couple of bowls and just as the bong is passed to me I hear a light clang come from it. Something like ice knocking up against a glass of water but fainter, softer.

Pouring the water out into the bathroom sink, I see little brown twigs swishing around smooth porcelain in equally brown water. Looking down the bong, past the ice catcher and into the pot, I see the cockroaches. How many were there didn't matter, it was already too late. They weren't moving and the smell indicated that they hadn't for some time.

Sorry the essay but this one needed a full explanation. I still gag thinking about it. Thanks for the giveaway and a reminder of my all time lowest.

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Offline Taeha Types

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Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #253 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 19:40:34 »
I was with my friend and he had to drop it like it's hot, so we went to a public bathroom together once (I had to pee so that is why I accompanied him). It was about a 10 minute walk so by the time we reached the bathroom he had to go REAL BAD. We run inside together and he runs into the closest stall that's open while I walk up to the closest urinal. As I was about to begin my business, I hear a "WTF BRO".

You see, there was a man already sitting in the stall who had forgotten to lock the door. And for my friend, it was one of those poops that drop immediately as you take your pants off. He was in such a rush that he had opened the stall and without even checking that it was empty had turned his back and proceeded to take off his pants and let loose.

Luckily my friend had pretty good control of his sphincter and he only managed to bomb the man's left shoe. 

Offline sleepy

  • Posts: 172
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #254 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 19:40:45 »
When I was younger, I was on a plane flight with my mom. I don't recall where it was going, but I remember this memory vividly. I had gotten a small plastic cup of apple juice, one of those little flimsy cups they give out on airlines. My mom also had a similar plastic cup filled with a similar looking fluid. By the time she got up to get something from her overhead bag, I had already finished my little cup of juice, so I reached over for hers to take a big gulp to try and quench my thirst. I always got thirsty on airplanes for some reason. I thought that was normal. Well, turns out - to my surprise - little sleepy tipped the glass back and was presented with a huge gulp of some vile combination of what tasted to be cleaning solution, cat pee, and hazy summer afternoon-fermented skunk spray. Small sleepy later learned that this was in fact a thing that adults call "wine", and that this "wine" is apparently commonly served on airplanes. After sprinting to the bathroom, I threw up directly into the sink. A murky onrush of green coagulated blobs greeted me, and I was forced to transfer this wondrous prize I had summoned from the tiny sink into the tiny toilet with my hands. This process took probably 5 minutes. I then washed my hands probably 50 times, returned to my seat, and fell asleep instantly.

Offline pr0ximity

  • Posts: 2593
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Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #255 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 19:42:44 »
Had a small gathering at work during lunch, so I grabbed my sandwich from the fridge and a drink and headed over. After sitting down and opening my sandwich, I noticed it was a little soggier than usual, but that's nothing concerning, so I took a bite. It tasted a little weird, but I didn't think much of it. Took another bite and it was definitely not what I expected it to taste like.....

Upon closer inspection, this was not the sandwich I had brought in this morning. It was not the sandwich I had brought in yesterday morning. It was instead some old, long-forgotten sandwich in the back of the fridge that had been rotated back out into the front of the fridge by an innocent coworker rifling through for their own lunch.

I write a date on my sandwiches now.
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Offline DJSwayde

  • Posts: 218
  • Location: Illinois
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #256 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 19:43:25 »
One time I was playing baseball with some friends and I picked up the bat after the previous batter had hit the ball. It landed in a pile of dog poop. Green dog poop. I grabbed the handle and got a handful of green dog poop. It was horrible.
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Offline Justin_aka_OsP_SSJ4

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Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #257 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 19:45:03 »
I was at a Hippy festival in Australia called confest which is held in the good ole Aussie bush.

Late in the night I stumbled into the darkness. I was rummaging around one of the tables for a drink. I grabbed a water bottle and drunkenly took a large couple of gulps.

Turns out the bottle I grabbed was the make shift bong and I had 2 mouth fulls of heavily used bong water.

Good times.
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Online phorx

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Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #258 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 19:45:42 »
I’m relatively new to the scene.  My first GAF experience was seeing a Zero1 Trash Panda and asking if it was painted, because I didn’t think it could have been cast, and being mercilessly laughed at  :p. Grimey way to treat somebody.
« Last Edit: Thu, 24 January 2019, 21:48:07 by phorx »

Offline mattp

  • Posts: 29
  • Location: NC
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Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #259 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 19:47:20 »
During a Halloween party in high school, a friend of mine and I found another friend of ours that we came with (let's called him Fozzy) naked on the bathroom floor covered in **** and vomit. It's probably important for your visualization to add that Fozzy is a 6'5" Samoan dude with a ponytail. A classmate's parents were chaperoning and were pissed (they were the ones who found Fozzy in the bathroom). They told us to get him out of their house now so we had to wake him (difficult) and help him get cleaned up (more difficult). Nothing quite like hoisting your naked, wasted friend with **** oozing down his leg into a bathtub. Thankfully when we flipped the shower on he was more cooperative and we were able to gtfo pretty quick

Offline Rumblehotep

  • Posts: 463
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #260 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 19:47:27 »
My sister favors frivolous aesthetics over functionality in her housewares, case in point her fancy electronic kitchen garbage can she got last year. 
It drives me nuts every time I cook at her house because the motion sensor lid is less than accurate. 
Regardless, she is also an insane neat freak who will constantly try tidying up around you as you try to cook.  So, she prides herself on how clean the garbage is with its double layered catchpan and suspension bag frame. 
This holiday season I would notice an odd smell which she would say coming from the garden outside the window.
Trying to prep food while everyone was out shopping one day I noticed the smell was especially strong despite closing all the windows, even emptied her garbage and it still lingered. 
Then I had a thought, and dismantled her garbage can.  It turns out the bags hang especially tight on their frame and the tight corners can easily rip holes in the bag... underneath the spotless catchpan was what I'd say a few centimeters of pulsating maggots feasting on god knows what escaped down there over time.
Trying to lift the heavy frame out dumped a good couple handfuls of maggots everywhere.  Luckily her pomeranian was on the case!

Offline Lndefinite

  • Posts: 40
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #261 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 19:53:13 »
Thanks for the giveaway!

My grimey story happened to me while I was taking the BART from Freemont to Oakland a couple weeks ago. It's a Saturday afternoon, so there are just a couple other people on my train. We stop at Union City, and some homeless looking guy gets on and sits a couple seats in front of me. The guy smelled a little sour, but not much worse than the ambient air in the BART. I don't think too much of it and I go back to browsing dank memes on my phone. Suddenly, the guy grabs a needle out of his pocket and sticks it into his arm. He pushes down on the plunger and after 10 seconds, he takes the needle out of his arm and sticks it into the upholstery of the seat in front of him. The guy proceeds to slump in his seat with his head tilted towards the window and starts moaning softly. The moans get louder and louder until he let out a final shriek that sounded like naasfu after realizing he was one-off from winning a clack. The entire train is silent. After a few stops, the guy peels himself out of his seat, pulls the needle out of the seat in front of him and stumbles out of the train.

I think I missed the ETF sale that day as well...

Offline Deathcaps

  • Posts: 4
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Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #262 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 19:54:40 »
Here's a short little story about a Tattoo artist Colleague from years ago.

 I was working at a tattoo shop for a few years. A new artist started at the shop, he was a scrawny 40 year old dude that had been tattooing for like 20 years. he kept to himself, had his own clients and for the first few months things were fine. Then one early morning, he came in and looked a little under the weather. I asked if he felt ok, and he just grumbled and went to his office. Later, a young female client of his came in to get work done and after a short while, i heard some commotion and then some shouting. I stopped what i was doing and went to investigate.

 I walked down the hall to his office and the girl ran out cursing, angry and taking off her shirt and went into the bathroom. I peak into his office to see him throwing up into a small trash can. There was also a huge smeared puddle on the massage table and the floor. Apparently, he had thrown up all over this poor girl whilst tattooing her, and when she jumped up off of the massage table, she slipped on some and fell into the puddle. Apparently, he had been drinking all night, forgot that he had an appointment and had already rescheduled on the girl once before. It smelled so bad, we had to clear out the building and had it clean professionally. The massage table had to be thrown out.

He was immediately fired, and the girl ended up suing him, but i don't know if anything came of that. Surprisingly the tattoo came out pretty decent, it just wasn't finished.
« Last Edit: Thu, 24 January 2019, 19:56:27 by Deathcaps »

Offline mbsurfer

  • Posts: 110
  • Location: South Carolina, USA
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #263 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 19:55:07 »
The Baptism

About 4 or 5 years ago, we had a close encounter with the lord at a house I used to live at. This was an average sized house in a very wealthy neighborhood. We were at the very front of the neighborhood, and our house was the eye sore for everyone. It was an ugly eggshell white, and made out of pure cinder blocks. The outside of it looked like the inside of a public school. Just hideous. It was on a golf course, and the driveway connected to a golf course's service road. Just a dirt road that's a back entrance onto the golf course, for trucks and mowers to get onto the course. Along this service road was a deep, muddy, ditch that was infested with mosquitoes. It always looked like my toilet does after a heavy night of drinking.

There were 4 of us living in this 3 bedroom house. We had recently just moved in, and it was our first place that we all lived in outside of our parents' houses. You may be asking, "Well if there is 4 guys, and only 3 bedrooms… where does the last guy stay?" Wow, great question! Well we converted the tiny ass dining room into a room. And no, I wasn't the guy living in there. We made the Brazilian stay in there. The dining room was connected to the kitchen and the living room without doors, there were just wide open archways. We put up curtains over the archways to add some "privacy." Mind you, curtains do not block any sort of noise. His girlfriend didn't appreciate the curtains, but it didn't sound like she minded if you know what I mean :lenny:. The other 2 guys and myself played rock, paper, scissors to see who got the other rooms. The master bedroom and large guest bedroom went to the other 2 guys, and the tiny bedroom went to me. I only had about 4' x 4' of space after my bed, furniture, and desk were all in it. Just enough space for some Rock Band drums, so I was fine. At least I wasn't the Brazilian.

We all settled in pretty fast to the place. The guy that had the master bedroom had his 21st birthday 1 week after we got into this place. He had the bright idea of throwing a kegger at the house for his birthday. He was the oldest out of all of us, so we had no way of getting a keg. Luckily, I was dating a girl that was a few years older than me, so she got us the keg, but she kept saying that she had a bad feeling about this whole situation. We were new in the neighborhood, new to renting a place, and kind of dumb, but we still decided to go through with the plan anyway.

We had a buddy of ours come over and he offered to DJ, so sure whatever. His name was Gal, and we came up with his DJ name to be DJ Seagal. That has nothing to do with the story, but I still think that name was funny. We made a **** ton of jungle juice, had the keg, and made a bunch of jello shots. We ended up spending close to $700 on alcohol, and realized that we couldn't really afford that, so we decided to charge for cups. $5 all you can drink, and you get a cup. You can drink the jungle juice, keg, or whatever. We had our sober friend that doesn't drink handle the money, and then we drew ****s on everyone's hands that paid in Sharpie. It was silver Sharpie too, so no one can fake it because who the hell has a silver Sharpie? Apparently I did. We had everything set up, and we started making the calls for invites.

People started showing up. Then more people. And more people. There was probably 100 people in our living room, and 40-50 more out in our backyard. We had people underage, people in their 30s and higher. We had locals, tourists, and even J1 workers that were from other countries. There were a lot of workers on Visas from Ireland that year. They were out back chanting Irish drinking songs. They weren't just chanting though, they were SCREAMING and CHEERING at the top of their lungs. It was probably all the coke that they brought... They also taught us about dragoning.

Dragoning is apparently an Irish tradition where you have to act like a dragon when you're about to puke. So when you know you're about to puke from drinking, you have to scream "A DRAGON IS COMING!!!!" This then causes a chain reaction of people yelling "DRAGON!!!!" which notifies everyone that the tradition is about to take place. Once everyone is watching and is circled around the person that is about to puke, that person must begin flapping their arms like wings. Then they must puke while flapping their arms like they are breathing fire. It's meant to shame the person from drinking too much, and not being able to handle their alcohol. But that night, people saw it as a challenge.

So let's take a moment to have an overview of how this night is going: There are probably 150 people at this small, ugly house in a rich neighborhood, cars are everywhere, the front yard is a parking lot, people are tailgating, trash everywhere, you can barely move in the living room, people are shoulder to shoulder, there are dozens of Irish guys chanting in the backyard, and everyone is trying to drink so much that they puke so that they can Dragon for everyone. It's an utter **** show.

Naturally there were more dudes than girls, so the testerone was heavy that night. Guys were trying to impress girls, and the beer pong table was packed for that. Guys apparently think that winning at beer pong means they're going to get laid, so arguments started to erupt over rules and cheating and whatever else. Cue the first fight of the night. One guy decided to jump over the beer pong table, and sock another guy in the face over an argument. I don't know what the argument was over, but it ended up in one dude bleeding profusely from his nose. Blood all over the beer pong table and then on to the tile floor. People were trying to get away from the fight, and they were all stepping into the blood. Shoe prints of blood all over the house now. Great. Cue the second fight.

Another guy got pissed that his all white Air Maxes were now blood stained, so he starts fighting with the beer pong player who threw the first punch. Chaos ensues. Irish guys out back notice fighting, and they are like flies on ****. They all start climbing through windows to get inside to start fighting. Conor McGregor could have been at the house that night for all I know. So I start to look for my roommates so we can start telling everyone to get the **** out. All my roommates are TRASHED, and can't even talk. I expected it from my roommate who was having his 21st birthday party, but not from the other two. I'm the only somewhat coherent one, and start telling everyone to get the **** out. Party's over.

No one even budges. Half the people there don't even know I live in the house. My girlfriend had left earlier because she was pissed about so many underaged kids there drinking from a keg that was being rented in her name. So I come to this realization that I'm alone in a sea of ****. I have a bright idea. I quickly go to each of my close friends, and tell them that I'm going to yell the cops are coming and for them to stay. Then I go ahead and start yelling about the blue lights and the cops are coming. Chaos turns into panic and people immediately start jumping out windows, climbing fences, peeling out of the front yard. Some girls start crying and everything. I'd say about 80% of people left. Good start. Bad thing is the 20% left are made up of my close friends and all of the fighters.

I start gathering my close friends and I ask them about the guys that are fighting. They're all guys from a rival school, that just go to parties to start fights. They're just *******s in general. Basically the only way to get them to leave was to physically make them leave. There are about 10 of us inside, all of my close friends, trying to get 8 or so *******s to leave. We shove them outside out of garage. One of our close friends walks out to get in their face. Poor Charlie got sucker punched. Dropped cold in one shot. A couple of us run out, shove the guys and drag Charlie back in. And I slam the garage door shut. One of the *******s begins to DROP KICK our door. I can see it starting to cave in from it being dented so far in. He knows we can't call the cops because we're underage, so he's just wreaking havoc. Girls inside heard these noises and thought they were gun shots. So they started screaming inside, and run outside to see what's happening. They see Charlie knocked out in the garage, and immediately think Charlie is shot. The neighbors have to hear all of this commotion by now..

One of my drunk roommates is over in the corner of the garage, drunkenly trying to crank start our chainsaw to scare them off. He couldn't get it started, so instead he picks up the turned off chainsaw, and then proceeds to walk to the garage door and yell "LET'S **** THEM UPPPP!!!" On that cue, we flung the door open.

My roommate starts running around with the chainsaw yelling. He's just swinging the chainsaw all around. The rest of us start fighting. I start seeing some of my friends drop, some the *******s drop, and then I notice one of my friends pick up an ******* over his shoulders and carry him over to the toilet ditch next to the house. I **** you not, he threw the kid like a barrel over his head into the ditch. He wasn't done yet. He climbed into the ditch after the kid, and continued to hold his head under the water. Essentially giving him a baptism. He wasn't trying to drown him, just scaring him. At least that's what he told us after. The other *******s thought that kid was getting murdered, so they turned around to help him. My friend so that as an opportunity to run back out of the ditch.

He climbed back up with us, and smelled AWFUL. The kid he threw had his Vans fall off when he picked the kid up. When he saw the shoes, he threw them at the kid. The first shoe missed, but the second hit him directly in the mouth. It was the best throw I've ever seen. Eventually the *******s got their friend out of the ditch, and then they wanted to really kick my friend's ass. So they started to charge. Well my friend climbed into his truck right next to the garage, and pulled out a gun. Of course we all were like "NO WHAT THE ****!" The *******s started running, and thank god my friend didn't pull the trigger. The *******s finally left. Then the friend with the gun started laughing, and we were not happy with him. He pointed at the ground, and pulled the trigger. It was a squirt gun.

We started to look over the damages. Charlie finally came to, and only had a black eye. Didn't remember anything. Another friend of mine dislocated his shoulder while fighting. He couldn't move. We took a whole box of popsicles and wrapped it around his shoulder. Then someone drove him to the hospital. No one got cut by the chainsaw miraculously, and my roommate couldn't start it because he didn't know what choke meant. A few bruises on everyone else, but no serious injuries. Girls inside still crying because they think Charlie was shot and killed. They looked like they saw a ghost when he walked in. All-in-all everyone was fine. The house was a WRECK though. Bloody shoe prints everywhere, a few couch arms were crooked from people standing or sitting on them, chairs were broken, beer cans everywhere, puke all over the backyard from Dragons, and the handle of the front door was ripped off when people thought the cops were coming.
Once I started gathering my thoughts, about what just happened, I started thinking the cops were for sure on their way. There was no way in hell that any of the neighbors didn't call the cops, between the chanting, the yelling, the fighting, and the screams of "HE'S SHOT!" and "HE'S GOT A GUN!" I got really ****ing nervous, and just went into my room without the light on and sat there. I started thinking about what I was going to tell my mom for my 1 free call for jail, I started thinking about losing my scholarships, and I started thinking about the night being my fault for letting it happen.

For some strange reason the cops never came. No one called the cops. All my roommates like to think it was because our friend gave that one ******* his baptism that night. He appeased god. Our house was also christened with blood and puke. If it wasn't for all of our religious sacrifices that night, I'd like to think I wouldn't be where I am today.

Offline keykaboo

  • Posts: 34
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #264 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 19:55:49 »
My grimmest experience happened when I was in school. I was from a sport club and one day after a workout, my friend/teammatewho had a flu/running nose decided to take my cup of water and drink it. We were all extremely thirsty and everyone was drinking quickly.

Friend X was drinking so fast that he choked on it. Instead of coming out from the mouth, it went through his nose. I think you can guess what came along with it. Thick and disgusting green mucus. Somehow he managed to catch it in his cup, and he paraded it around. Following this, the most disgusting punishment for a contest happened

The loser will have to drink it. This is the worst **** ever

Offline FunTyme

  • Formerly known as Edrylle
  • Posts: 41
  • Location: Nevada, USA
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #265 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 19:56:14 »
Actually I have casually walked by a random hobo who was doing his toilet business (#2) on one of those overpasses at the Las Vegas Strip. The Strip really brings out the best in people  :thumb:
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Offline metatronix

  • Posts: 0
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #266 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 19:56:24 »
Yikes. My grimiest experience?  :blank:

In my early teens, I came down with something in the middle of the night and I woke up with an urge to toss my cookies. It is coming fast.

So I am sprinting to the bathroom, but I am about 2 seconds too late. I grab my mouth to seal the contents, but it's got way more force than I was capable of holding back. My fingers are forced apart and I am now a multi-spouted fountain. The floors are made of linoleum and --still sprinting-- slip in my own grime and landed super hard on the floor. But the beast has been loosed and I am on the floor like a fountain. Crying from the pain. Letting loose like a cannon. It was everywhere.

That is by far, my grimiest story.

Offline RyuDragoon

  • Posts: 97
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #267 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 20:02:29 »
The first time I ever went to a Golden Corral was nightmare fuel. I witnessed the man cutting the meat wipe his nose on his bare hands and continue cutting the meat and a small child dunked their entire head (hair and all) into the chocolate fountain. I went to go to the restroom, walked in to see a small bathroom with a urinal in a small hallway with the toilet on the opposite side of the wall. The entire hallway to the urinal, ceiling, walls, floor and urinal itself were drenched in puke. I heard a man moaning in the stall and then the most inhuman sound rip out from him. The sound of someone puking and ****ting themselves at the same time. I literally watched the vomit roll out from under the stall.

Offline lovechan

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Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #268 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 20:03:30 »
Let me tell you one of the most horrible stories:  One day of each year,open your eyes, getting older.
What day was it?

Yeah actually I am afraid of that day!

 ;D


Offline Sissy

  • Posts: 453
  • Location: Australia
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #269 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 20:05:28 »
I suppose it would have to be the time I found out I had a Sebaceous Cyst on my shoulder while rubbing it, It ruptured and my hand was quickly covered in some of the thickest smelliest puss. I went and showed my Mum who I was living with at the time and she tried to squeez it ending up with it firing off into her face.
She spent about a hour just squeezing it till just chalky stuff was coming out and eventually just blood, the amount of puss that was in there was truly wondrous and I one day hope my body can create something as amazing.

Offline inosint

  • Posts: 72
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #270 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 20:07:26 »
This one time, I fell on the ground.

Offline ziptyze

  • Posts: 243
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Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #271 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 20:09:12 »
When I first went to college, I didn't have a car. This meant a 16 hour round trip from Pennsylvania to Rhode Island for someone to pick me up or drop me off. Consequently, on the breaks I would fly home from Providence to Baltimore, which was a more palatable experience for my family.

When I came home for Thanksgiving that year, it had been a long day of traveling for me, and those 45 minute trips on Southwest didn't offer much in the way of an in-flight meal (I think I had pretzels and a Bud Light), so we stopped at Berder King before making the drive home. As we stopped in the drive through, there was one car in front of us stopped at the window waiting for their food. An old gentleman who appeared to be very inebriated and homeless, albeit not necessarily in that order, disembarked from the vehicle, stumbled a bit, turned to us and issued a slurred apology, and then proceeded to take a wizz on the Home of the Whopper. The other occupants of the car, who all appeared to be twenty somethings who were in no way related to the gentleman, seemed to think this was hilarious. I always assumed they put him up to it for a free chicken sandwich or something.

Well, the car departed and we got our food. I had ordered a fish sandwich. I was famished, and hadn't eaten since breakfast that day. With the first bite of that sandwich I immediately noticed something off. It was ketchup. Ketchup on a fish sandwich. Grimiest experience of my life. But at least I got to see a homeless guy pissing.
"we didn't choose the furt life, the furt life chose us"

Offline Jaimcat

  • Posts: 7
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #272 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 20:09:25 »
About a couple years ago my girlfriend had a pimple on her back that was really bothering her. She couldn't get to it on her own so being the good boyfriend I told her I'd help her out. I check her back and that thing is ready to POP. There was no way I was not going to pop it. So I decide to go for it. I did not think it was going to pop that fast but as soon as I put my fingers to squeeze it pops and goes all over my face and a bit in my mouth. I did not have time to brace. Was rather salty and GAF.

Good luck to everyone, trying to win my first GAF!  :p

Offline Olitender

  • Posts: 70
  • Location: Rainbow Lane.
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #273 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 20:14:20 »
I lived in San Francisco all my life. I've seen the homeless people giving and getting blowjobs, ****ting on the sidewalk, shooting up, snorting coke on a fire hydrant. Saw a guy go up to some pigeons,  grab one, and seemingly break its neck.
Going into heat.

Offline Gerfunkle

  • Posts: 8
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #274 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 20:15:32 »
Grimiest experience? First one that comes to mind is the time this girl decided to use the bathroom with me in it. So, I'm done in the bathroom and am washing my hands. As I'm doing this, this girl come busting in and pops a squat on the toilet. She then proceeds to make conversation, and keeps asking me questions. In my slightly inebriated state, and polite disposition, I found it rude to simply walk out ending the conversation. We ended up leaving that bathroom at the same time and I knew exactly which number she dropped in that porcelain throne.

Offline neojonathan

  • Posts: 74
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #275 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 20:22:26 »
Grimiest Experience would be cleaning my friend's room when he moved out. His apartment, was really filthy, tbh I don't know how my friend lived there. When he moved out, he asked me to clean some parts of the room that may have been missed. Well, that was the kitchen and it was just a mess !!! Had to clean from the floor, fridge, sink, stove, microwave..Ugh...I can't believe I cleaned that ****. Anyways, my friend bought me a dinner in the end..(a fancy one).

Offline Doluded

  • Posts: 189
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Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #276 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 20:22:52 »
I peed and pood my pants as a baby

Offline aubthedrummer

  • Posts: 40
  • Papa Bless^
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #277 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 20:23:19 »
There was this one time I was at a potluck.

 This older lady with long dirty looking fingernails proceeds to pickup the serving spoon, hold it by the head of the spoon,not the handle, and scoop food up with the spoon's head while having her thumb and index finger dig into the food as well.

Why didn't she use the spoon's handle? Why did she even use the spoon if she was going to run her fingers into it either way? Why did she have dirty ass nails? I will never know.

Offline Sorachi.Ace

  • Formerly CaptRobo
  • Posts: 41
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Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #278 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 20:24:57 »
My most memorable grimey experience is cleaning out the basement of a flooded house. The house was sitting there for a few weeks after the flood before work was started. The basement still had about 1.5 feet of water in it.
I guess that doesn't sound too bad. But the water was basically dark brown muck and contained the corpes of a dozen or so small rodents and fish. I used a bucket since we didn't have a pump or anything. It smelled horrible and it just got worse as the water level want lower and more of the nasty mud and rotting fish were exposed. Also I ended up getting the muck all over myself so it stank for the half hour car ride home.

Offline Crushader

  • Posts: 34
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #279 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 20:30:55 »
Saw a crazy person just start stripping outside pancake parlour and took a dump in front of everyone  :-*

Offline Mattheuk9

  • Posts: 30
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #280 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 20:36:22 »
When I was in 1st grade there were these big metal doors that probably weighed around 20 pounds to go to the bathroom inside the classroom, not only did I smash one of my fingers in the door once, but I did it a second time, near the hinge of the door and ended up pulling it the wrong way which made the door close even more. My finger was smashed so bad it was significantly thinner than the other tips of my fingers. Now that finger is bigger than the rest.

Offline Helldrop

  • Posts: 149
  • Location: South Hell
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #281 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 20:39:00 »
It was 6 years ago that I experienced a grimey situation. I had severe enteritis, but I had to take a bus for 3 hours to go on a business trip. Despite my bad condition, I decided to leave the trip because it was very important for my business. After an hour, I started to have a splitting stomachache and felt I should go to the bathroom, so I asked the driver to stop for a while, but he refused my cry for help due to safety consideration. I was seriously worried about whether I would **** on the bus. I can’t tell you the tragic end, but now I live happily, it’s “what is important.”

Offline dollartacos

  • Posts: 5
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #282 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 20:39:29 »
The main access to our neighborhood's sewer lines was through a manhole in my front yard. One evening I noticed a public works crew were out there working in my yard. There were constant water issues so I didn't really think anything of it. That is, until it started to smell. They somehow managed to damage something in the sewer lines that caused sewage to back up into my basement. It was was as grimey as you might imagine. We had it professionally cleaned. Twice. And sent the bill to the city.

Offline Puddsy

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Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #283 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 20:49:30 »
rats in the subway

eugh
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Offline johngodsmith

  • Posts: 52
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #284 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 20:55:41 »
I work part time at a grocery store, in the meat department. This was when I first started.
Every Sunday you’re supposed to clean the fresh meat counters. But, it slowly became apparent to me that it hasn’t been done for awhile.

They gave me a little scraper and I ran that under the crevices that had build-up. I was knocking out so much gunk outta there it was ridiculous. It was a combination of dried up and congealed blood mixed together with dirt and what-not, that smelled so rancid it was crazy. If you know how rotten chicken smells you can sorta picture it but a tad worse. Probably been accumulating for months lol


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Offline SleepIsAllINeed

  • Posts: 46
  • Location: Toronto, Ontario
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #285 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 21:00:02 »
When I was small I was coming down with a fever or something. Told my parents and they're like LUL here's some tylenol. Later in the night, I wanted to throw up but my delirious train of thought was stuck between going to the toilet to spew or telling my parents. I eventually decided on rushing to the toilet and ended up spewing everywhere but the toilet and when I tried to move I slipped in my own puke. That was my grimiest experience.                                                                                                                       

Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #286 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 21:01:41 »
In high school, we knew a cheerleader that would (for some reason) pop a squat and pee outside of parties. One time she took a ****. Yeah.

Offline the-slunk

  • Posts: 47
  • Location: Florida
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #287 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 21:02:03 »
I was driving downtown once where I live, and I saw a man running across the street with a fire axe. A police car stopped on one end of the block and shortly after 2 more cop cars pulled up. The cops all got out of their cars guns drawn and yelling at him to drop the weapon. He charged the cops with the axe and they put 7 bullets in him. Dead.

Florida prime grime-time.

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Offline radical_usa

  • Posts: 1
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #288 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 21:13:28 »
College spring break story inbound:

Not too long ago, several of my college friends and I took a road trip from the cold north to a popular, warmer spring break destination. Being the college kids that we were, much partying ensued during the five days that we were there. This particular town had a tourist area that functioned as a family friendly area by day and nightlife hotspot by night. Every night we went there, debauchery and grime ran rampant (including women old enough to be my grandmother pouring shots down my throat, but that's a different story). One particular night we were in a club that is filled with people. I had decided that I needed to step out to get a little bit of fresh air. I stepped out, and walked through the nearby pavilion to come across a bridge. This bridge crossed a man made pond where you could feed the fish in it by purchasing food from coin operated dispenser. On this bridge, a woman who had too much to drink was hunched over the railing. I then witnessed the most grimy event of my young life. She proceeded to vomit over the railing into the pond, where the fish came up to feed in the spotlights. All the while a man in her group of friends decided it would be the perfect time to put the moves on. Luckily this was quickly stopped. This grime will forever be seared into my brain, both grimy event and grimy people.

TLDR: Drunk girl fed the fish with her vomit while being hit on by another dude. Spring break was fun :cool:.

Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #289 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 21:15:44 »
I'd always dealt with clogged sink and shower drains the same way I would a clogged toilet; take the plunger from next to the toilet, run some water through the drain, and try to blast it away.  This time the shower drain wasn't giving up.  I figured it was time for the next step - I went out and bought some drain-o to wage chemical warfare on the clog...  No dice, shower still wasn't draining.

At this point, I knew it had gotten real.

I bought a pack of drain cleaners- they're thin flexible plastic rods with barbs that are meant to go about a foot into your drain and snag anything in their path.  Before I could even get it halfway in, it hit the obstruction and wouldn't go any further, so I twisted it around a bit and started backing it out.  What came out was a massive amalgamation of splooge and hair, kept wet from daily showers where the water would slowly strain through on its way to the sewer.

TLDR: Shower fun times are great, but you're just delaying the inevitable clean-up.

Offline Elth

  • Posts: 373
  • Location: California
  • Easy now fuzzy little man peach
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #290 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 21:16:38 »
This didn't happen directly to me, but I was there to witness it.

Basically what happened was our office was called to do a welfare check on a house after reports of unsafe living conditions for the minors in the house. At the time we had a few interns and one came with our group. Now this poor college student (we'll call her Stephanie) was dressed for a business casual office attire and was not expecting to be brought along on a home visit. This house was something out of Hoarders. Animal feces everywhere on the floor, bags full of garbage, you name it. We're all carefully dodging things on the ground, then out of nowhere we hear a scream. Poor Stephanie was wearing some open-toed shoes and a cockroach runs right across the top of her toes. I've never seen somebody run while dodging poop/garbage landmines so fast in my life. When her Summer internship was over and we had a lunch party, we played the La Cucaracha song in her honor.

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Offline naasfu

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Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #291 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 21:19:44 »
there was someone in a previous office who would regularly bring snacks into the toilet stalls and eat.  there would be bits of fritos and cookies or whatever around the toilets.  who tf eats while pooping?
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Offline glack23

  • Posts: 80
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #292 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 21:20:01 »
Preparing to shower baby and baby poo without warning. Use one hand to hold some of poo in my hand & I have the option of wiping it on the towel or wiping it on the basin. Chose the basin and guess what .. it will not go down. End up just smash it on the basin

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Offline ricrackem

  • Posts: 50
  • Location: US-CT
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #293 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 21:21:48 »
When I was in high school, a bunch of friends and I thought it would be a great idea to ditch school and go tubing in a local river. It was probably the first day of the year where it was warm enough to actually do something like this, so we were having a great time enjoying the weather. We probably stayed out there for 8 hours straight, we were tubing so we were all shirtless or in tank tops. Later that night, I definitely felt some sunburn coming on. No biggie, I thought. I was really pale, so I have had sunburn before, this won't be any different.  Just a little sunburn.

The next morning I woke up and instantly felt the heat and pain on my shoulders. I'd never had sunburn that hurt this bad so I went to check it out in the mirror. I was absolutely mortified with what I saw. HUGE yellow bubbles all over my shoulders and about halfway down my back. It looked like I had thin ziploc bags of flat beer were resting on top of my shoulders. And to top it all off, they HURT. They hurt so bad that I could barely stand wearing a shirt, so my backpack was a definite no-go. I didn't show my parents because I thought they'd make me go to the hospital, so I just grabbed my backpack and decided to just carry it with me, I knew I could just drop it off at my locker anyway.

Every morning once we got to school my group of friends would always meet up and hang out at the same spot until it was time to go inside. I make my way over to the spot, carrying my backpack, and plop it down on the ground and join my friends. All of them are wearing their backpacks. My best friend (still to this day) notices I'm not wearing my backpack and asks why. I told him I got awful sunburn on my shoulders yesterday and leave it at that. I was genuinely afraid of anyone seeing my dark, disgusting secret so I was hoping that was the end of it.

There's something about being a 17 year old dude and finding it absolutely hilarious when your friends are in non-life threatening pain. I was definitely guilty of it, seeing your friend trip and fall is always a good time. I should've known what was coming next. Like Eazy-E, my best friend reaches back like a pimp and slaps the back of my shoulder as hard as he can. The pain was absolutely awful and I definitely didn't keep that a secret. My friends are cracking up, of course, so I figured it was time to show them what I meant by awful sunburn. So I yell out "DUDE, I THINK YOU POPPED IT!" Everyone stops laughing. They're all questioning me about what I mean, what popped, etc.

So I lift up the back side of my shirt and show them. He did pop it, a bit at least. There was still a huge blister, but yellow fluid had started to leak out....They're all shocked and disgusted. Some of them can't even stand to look at it. I heard a few gags, some had to actually walk away. Some are curious, and the friend who actually smacked me is probably the most grossed out of all of them. They are also all telling me they've NEVER seen anything like that and that I should get it checked out. For some reason all of this advice went in one ear and out the other and I just decided to try to stick it out and make it through the day of school. I do, I get home, and decide to take another look. The fluid that had started leaking after the smack has left a yellow crusty trail on the inside of my shirt. It also smelled VERY bad.

For about a week I would just aloe myself up, not wear white shirts and dealt with it as best as I could. The pain went away after a few days, but the blisters/bubbles persisted for much longer. BUT I realized, the area where it was leaking when I got smacked was significantly less compared to the rest of it. So I made the totally irresponsible decision to drain it on my own. As soon as I started squeezing it out, I could see the results happen in real time. I watched that nasty ass fluid drain out and the bubbles deflate. It was honestly SUPER satisfying. It didn't take me that long, and by the time I was done, my back and shoulders pretty much were back to normal.

At the time, I thought I had sun poisoning. But now I think it was just REALLY bad sunburn. So...yeah. That's the story about my back bubbles.

Offline bthezebra

  • Posts: 446
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #294 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 21:25:58 »
A few years ago, I was out at a sports bar with some co-workers after work on a Payday Friday. We decided it would be a good start to the weekend to have some beer and wings. I had no recommendations so I went with the group choice. A couple of the guys had been there before and said it was good and chill. I figured "Why not?", I am open to trying new places and it will a cool way to try a a different spot.

The waitress comes over and flirtatiously takes our order. I am in a relationship at the time so I leave the banter to others and just say "Hot wings and a Hieneken" when she asks my order. We all order various wings, some drinks, and a large order of fries to share. Right after the waitress leaves a couple of my coworkers quickly get to commenting on their opinion on the waitresses' appearance. While this conversation is taking place, I spot an adult roach scurrying across the table. It is so big and so slow moving that I am beyond shock (can't stand roaches) and think I am being pranked. Another one of my coworkers promptly grabs a cup and flips it over capturing the roach. He proceeds to let me know it's not a big deal.

I am left wondering what types of "hole in the wall' places must he frequent for this roach not to big a big issue and share my disgust with the table. While we are going back and forth ,with me loosing my appetite even while I am drinking, the waitress arrives with our fries. I immediately get her attention and let her see the trapped roach, her facial expression is unaffected. Immediately, guy who said "no big" deal lets her know he's seen worse and the roach doesn't bother him. He quickly changes the topic to how cute he finds the waitress. I am left questioning if I am still going to eat here and wondering what is causing the red bumps situation surrounding her lips since she is now delaying the fries being placed on the table.

After the very awkward flirty banter, the waitress places the large plate of fries on the table and I quickly grab what looks to be a hot glistening french fry. As the waitress is leaving the table she turns around, smiles, and says "By the way, I licked one of your fries". It was a horrible attempt at being flirty and I immediately left.

I have never been back to that grimy AF bar.

Thanks for the giveaway :)

Offline ikarus214

  • Posts: 7
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #295 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 21:26:13 »
This one time when I was in primary school, one of my classmate pooped in his pants and pretended like nothing happened until his poop actually fell out of the pants tube.

Offline dugihk

  • Posts: 28
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #296 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 21:29:29 »
My college roommate getting so drunk and projectile vomited in the middle of a hallway, it was something similar to the scene from The Exorcist.  :'(

Offline dantambok

  • Posts: 892
  • Location: Philippines
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #297 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 21:35:45 »
Not that grimey but when i was a little kid i was holding up my turtle and it peed on me.  :))
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Offline shabarhagen

  • Posts: 2
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #298 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 21:41:50 »
Thank for the GA event!!!

Offline biograf

  • Posts: 9
Re: GAF - Keep it Grimey Giveaway Contest
« Reply #299 on: Thu, 24 January 2019, 21:45:29 »
I once stepped in human hobo poop in Barcelona when I was there on vacation. There weren't many places where I could actually wash off the brown substance, so I had to just walk around with it for hours while smelling like litereal feces. I was gagging throughout that whole trip, and I was close to simply throwing those shoes out when I was back at the motel.