Author Topic: Help me stave off boredom ^-^  (Read 8336 times)

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Offline HoffmanMyster

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Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 17:37:01 »
I'm stuck for the next 92 minutes donating platelets. Cannot move left arm. Pls entertain me, my keyboard brethren.  :)

Offline Lurch

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #1 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 17:37:36 »
hi hoff
Quote from: Flyersfan1
im so glad you've stopped flipping the spacebar

Offline Hexterdude

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #2 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 17:40:21 »
Random Fact Number 1:

Under the law of Mississippi, there’s no such thing as a female Peeping Tom

Offline 1swt2gs

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #3 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 17:42:24 »
Random fact Number dos:

There are 118 ridges around the edge of a Roosevelt dime, 119 ridges around the edge of a quarter, and 150 ridges around the edge of a Kennedy half dollar.
Such artisan, many caps, very keyboard.

Always searching for Bro caps! 

1swt2gs classifieds!


Offline FreeCopy

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #4 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 17:43:19 »
Ready for an amazing joke?

What did Tennessee?
More
The same thing Arkansas


That's probably worse than the time I farted so hard I had to crab walk to the bathroom for a shower and a change of clothes.
Keyboards
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Offline Bromono

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #5 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 17:43:41 »
Make sure to drink some juice and eat a cookie after.

Offline Hexterdude

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #6 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 17:44:24 »
Ready for an amazing joke?

What did Tennessee?
More
The same thing Arkansas


That's probably worse than the time I farted so hard I had to crab walk to the bathroom for a shower and a change of clothes.

That joke gave me cancer

Offline byker

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #7 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 17:47:30 »
Hey hofmeester

Offline Jema

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #8 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 17:47:37 »
HAI


Giving platelets is painful I'm told! I tried to donate but they wouldn't let me  :( Well fine then I'll keep them all to myself!

Offline HoffmanMyster

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #9 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 17:51:43 »
Hiiiii fraaaaaaands

Haha these facts and jokes are amusing.

Offline HoffmanMyster

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #10 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 17:53:55 »
Apparently this machine isn't satisfied with the rate at which I am feeding it.

Neeeed moooooaarrr bloooood

Offline absyrd

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #11 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 17:54:41 »
All ur platelets are belongz to Deztiny
My wife I a also push her button . But now she have her button push by a different men. So I buy a keyboard a mechanicale, she a reliable like a Fiat.

Offline HoffmanMyster

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #12 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 17:54:47 »
It wants 7.3x10^11 of these suckers.  :eek:

Offline HoffmanMyster

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #13 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 17:55:12 »

All ur platelets are belongz to Deztiny

Destiny can have them!  ^.^

Offline Computer-Lab in Basement

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #14 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 17:55:16 »
hi hoff!
tp thread is tp thread
Sometimes it's like he accidentally makes a thread instead of a google search.

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Offline absyrd

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #15 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 17:56:05 »
I wonder... because of your size, do you give extra?
My wife I a also push her button . But now she have her button push by a different men. So I buy a keyboard a mechanicale, she a reliable like a Fiat.

Offline HoffmanMyster

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Offline HoffmanMyster

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #17 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 17:58:18 »
I wonder... because of your size, do you give extra?

I dunno! I am giving what they call a "double". But there are various sizes of "doubles".

* HoffmanMyster wishes he spoke the language of the streets

Offline Lurch

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #18 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 17:58:54 »
hoff hit us with a selfie
Quote from: Flyersfan1
im so glad you've stopped flipping the spacebar

Offline absyrd

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #19 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 17:58:58 »
Make it a double at the bar afterwards.

You'll be extra loopy.
My wife I a also push her button . But now she have her button push by a different men. So I buy a keyboard a mechanicale, she a reliable like a Fiat.

Offline HoffmanMyster

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #20 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:00:11 »
Dis mah machine

It doesn't like me

Offline HoffmanMyster

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #21 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:00:59 »
Make it a double at the bar afterwards.

You'll be extra loopy.

Post-double double for double the double!

Offline absyrd

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #22 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:01:59 »
Why you like getting vampired so much?
My wife I a also push her button . But now she have her button push by a different men. So I buy a keyboard a mechanicale, she a reliable like a Fiat.

Offline Lurch

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #23 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:04:25 »
Dis mah machine

It doesn't like me

looks dreadful but we still like you :D

Quote from: Flyersfan1
im so glad you've stopped flipping the spacebar

Offline HoffmanMyster

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #24 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:05:01 »

Why you like getting vampired so much?

Cause people need the 'lets more than me!

'Lets is the slang for platelets that I just made up, btw.

Offline absyrd

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #25 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:07:41 »
My wife I a also push her button . But now she have her button push by a different men. So I buy a keyboard a mechanicale, she a reliable like a Fiat.

Offline inanis

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #26 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:11:24 »
Why you like getting vampired so much?
The goth me likes this so much. Next time I go to give blood I'm using this line. It is mine now!

Hi Hoff!
Some hearts are gallows, I'm not here for hangin' around

Offline absyrd

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #27 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:12:54 »
Why you like getting vampired so much?
The goth me likes this so much. Next time I go to give blood I'm using this line. It is mine now!

Hi Hoff!

Destiny call the IV team vampires... then she started doing it to any and all nurses and docs that stuck her. I think I taught her a bad thing.
My wife I a also push her button . But now she have her button push by a different men. So I buy a keyboard a mechanicale, she a reliable like a Fiat.

Offline HoffmanMyster

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #28 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:15:11 »
Why you like getting vampired so much?
The goth me likes this so much. Next time I go to give blood I'm using this line. It is mine now!

Hi Hoff!

Destiny call the IV team vampires... then she started doing it to any and all nurses and docs that stuck her. I think I taught her a bad thing.

LOL I think they'll forgive her.  ;)

That is funny though, you're a bad influence!  :P


And hi in-anus!

Offline absyrd

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #29 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:15:34 »
Why the **** are cats so scared of cucumbers?
My wife I a also push her button . But now she have her button push by a different men. So I buy a keyboard a mechanicale, she a reliable like a Fiat.

Offline HoffmanMyster

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #30 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:17:26 »

Why the **** are cats so scared of cucumbers?

:eek:

What are you doing to your cat??



That's not where cucumbers go, absyrd...

Offline absyrd

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #31 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:20:13 »

Why the **** are cats so scared of cucumbers?

:eek:

What are you doing to your cat??



That's not where cucumbers go, absyrd...

Quick change my forum name to mianis.
My wife I a also push her button . But now she have her button push by a different men. So I buy a keyboard a mechanicale, she a reliable like a Fiat.

Offline katushkin

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #32 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:23:09 »
It wants 7.3x10^11 of these suckers.  :eek:

What units is that in? Centimetres?
Can we get them to build the Alps ten feet higher and get Cherry to pay for it?
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Offline HoffmanMyster

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #33 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:26:24 »

It wants 7.3x10^11 of these suckers.  :eek:

What units is that in? Centimetres?

I asked them and they don't know. It's clearly not anything on a visible scale cause I assure you I do not have trillions of cenimetres, millilitres, or anything of that sort in my body. I know I'm big, but not that big!

I can only assume it is literally the number of platelets.

Offline absyrd

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #34 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:28:56 »

It wants 7.3x10^11 of these suckers.  :eek:

What units is that in? Centimetres?

I asked them and they don't know. It's clearly not anything on a visible scale cause I assure you I do not have trillions of cenimetres, millilitres, or anything of that sort in my body. I know I'm big, but not that big!

I can only assume it is literally the number of platelets.

Sounds right.

Pocket a few bags because I'm bout to drink a ton of booze and play with a chainsaw.
My wife I a also push her button . But now she have her button push by a different men. So I buy a keyboard a mechanicale, she a reliable like a Fiat.

Offline inanis

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #35 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:30:00 »
And hi in-anus!

You're lucky I like you...
Some hearts are gallows, I'm not here for hangin' around

Offline HoffmanMyster

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #36 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:30:28 »


It wants 7.3x10^11 of these suckers.  :eek:

What units is that in? Centimetres?

I asked them and they don't know. It's clearly not anything on a visible scale cause I assure you I do not have trillions of cenimetres, millilitres, or anything of that sort in my body. I know I'm big, but not that big!

I can only assume it is literally the number of platelets.

Sounds right.

Pocket a few bags because I'm bout to drink a ton of booze and play with a chainsaw.

Nooooo, the lil 'lets will die before they get to you anyway! 

Offline HoffmanMyster

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #37 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:31:14 »
Well apparently I suck cause now the total time is up to 115 minutes.  :(

Can't push em out fast enough!

Offline absyrd

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #38 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:32:19 »
Don't push too hard.

You don't want your 'lets to give you a 'roid.

Then your 'roid won't clot because you don't have 'lets.
My wife I a also push her button . But now she have her button push by a different men. So I buy a keyboard a mechanicale, she a reliable like a Fiat.

Offline katushkin

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #39 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:33:19 »
Don't push.

Make sure you ask for a lollipop when you are done :P
Can we get them to build the Alps ten feet higher and get Cherry to pay for it?
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Offline HoffmanMyster

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #40 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:33:55 »

Don't push too hard.

You don't want your 'lets to give you a 'roid.

Then your 'roid won't clot because you don't have 'lets.

Pushing gives me steroids??

Offline absyrd

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #41 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:34:51 »
Damnit.

I meant 'rhoids.

My wife I a also push her button . But now she have her button push by a different men. So I buy a keyboard a mechanicale, she a reliable like a Fiat.

Offline HoffmanMyster

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #42 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:35:38 »

Damnit.

I meant 'rhoids.

Ah. Sterhoids.

Offline HoffmanMyster

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #43 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:36:43 »

Don't push.

Make sure you ask for a lollipop when you are done :P

Don't worry I've already gotten two cookies and a cup of juice. 

Offline absyrd

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #44 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:38:03 »
I'm ****ING SORRY. I've never had to spell out hemorrhoids in my life. Forgive me. And the best part was just typing in "h-e-m" it was the first result in google.
My wife I a also push her button . But now she have her button push by a different men. So I buy a keyboard a mechanicale, she a reliable like a Fiat.

Offline katushkin

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #45 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:38:51 »
So how come you are donating so much blood?
Can we get them to build the Alps ten feet higher and get Cherry to pay for it?
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Offline HoffmanMyster

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #46 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:39:30 »

I'm ****ING SORRY. I've never had to spell out hemorrhoids in my life. Forgive me. And the best part was just typing in "h-e-m" it was the first result in google.



It's all your fault

>:D

Offline HoffmanMyster

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #47 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:41:55 »

So how come you are donating so much blood?

I'm donatin' platelets, son! Read da OP.  >:D

And because I don't need 'em and there's a shortage right now. But I'd donate regardless.

Offline katushkin

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #48 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:50:53 »

So how come you are donating so much blood?

I'm donatin' platelets, son! Read da OP.  >:D

And because I don't need 'em and there's a shortage right now. But I'd donate regardless.

Only platelets? Why don't they just take blood instead? =/ Why would you need one and not the other anyway?
Can we get them to build the Alps ten feet higher and get Cherry to pay for it?
Katushkin's Clearout | Twitter | Steam | Instagram| Discord - katushkin

Offline HoffmanMyster

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Re: Help me stave off boredom ^-^
« Reply #49 on: Mon, 16 November 2015, 18:53:22 »


So how come you are donating so much blood?

I'm donatin' platelets, son! Read da OP.  >:D

And because I don't need 'em and there's a shortage right now. But I'd donate regardless.

Only platelets? Why don't they just take blood instead? =/ Why would you need one and not the other anyway?

I believe that to get this quantity of platelets would be more blood removed than is healthy. Yknow?

Plus this allows you to donate more frequently.