What is this....

[tp4tissue]

Hrrrrrr.......

They're   12inch by 6 inch  by my visual estimate 

[mmmty]

Man purse. I think it's Louis Vuitton. Maybe there's a iPad mini in it??

[sth]

looks like a clutch with a zipper or something. grooming kit? tablet? book cover? cheese storage?

[tp4tissue]

I think mmmty might be right. man-purse sorta thing...   They're popping up all over in the new asian movies.


I blame tight pants...  They don't have cargo pockets.. so that pushes the male fashion followers toward "purses" 

[Halverson]

looks like a clutch with a zipper or something. grooming kit? tablet? book cover? cheese storage?

Yup. It would even hold all your cheese knives very nicely.

[sth]

looks like a clutch with a zipper or something. grooming kit? tablet? book cover? cheese storage?

Yup. It would even hold all your cheese knives very nicely.

maybe yours. i have too much cheese in mine so there's no room for knives.

[keymaster]

87-key w/ puller European carry-all

[rowdy]

Or is he holding the lady's purse?

Or perhaps it is a pencil case?

Or a fancy case for one of those huge Android phones?

[Turbo Slaab]

Looks like a woman's large pocketbook. Probably an apple product.

[tp4tissue]

Or is he holding the lady's purse?

Or perhaps it is a pencil case?

Or a fancy case for one of those huge Android phones?

No, it's a guy thing.. they have other male characters in the film with them too...

[rowdy]

iPad mini?

[tp4tissue]

iPad mini?

pretty much all samsung placements in asian films.

[vun]

LV trying to start a new trend.

[tsangan]

That's a Louis Vuitton zippy organizer in the classic monogram this is in the men's small leather goods section

Nothing wrong with big wallets ;<

[TheQsanity]

They must be at the local...

[mmmty]

That's a Louis Vuitton zippy organizer in the classic monogram this is in the men's small leather goods section

Nothing wrong with big wallets ;<

tsangan knows 'cause he has one : P

[tsangan]

Not a huge zipper fan but nothing wrong with a long wallet you either hold it, jacket pocket, or back pocket

[TheQsanity]

Don't worry, I don't see any problem either.

[tp4tissue]

Not a huge zipper fan but nothing wrong with a long wallet you either hold it, jacket pocket, or back pocket

you guys have HUGE back pockets.. If this thing fits.. I couldn't imagine you'd need it since you'd just load up that pocket to begin with )

[davkol]

Not a huge zipper fan but nothing wrong with a long wallet you either hold it, jacket pocket, or back pocket

you guys have HUGE back pockets.. If this thing fits.. I couldn't imagine you'd need it since you'd just load up that pocket to begin with )

Remember Sony Vaio P?

[TheQsanity]

Not a huge zipper fan but nothing wrong with a long wallet you either hold it, jacket pocket, or back pocket

you guys have HUGE back pockets.. If this thing fits.. I couldn't imagine you'd need it since you'd just load up that pocket to begin with )

Remember Sony Vaio P?

Hot.

[singaporean123]

**** wagon mini

[hashbaz]

Could also be his fancy Bible case, and he's about to drop some eternal truth on her.

[NikoGasm]

It's his protective carrying case for his new KSLIM Mini MX Ultra. The smallest form factor Korean custom 60% board to date.

[TheQsanity]

Who knew.

[Krogenar]

Man purse, murse, "man bag", whatever... best euphemism to date describing it would have to be: "gear bag".

It's not a purse, it's a 'gear bag'.

[hashbaz]

I'm officially tired of prefixing everything with "man-".  "Purse" needs to be reclaimed for dudes everywhere.  If it's a little bag that you carry money and other small items, it's a purse.

[tp4tissue]

I'm officially tired of prefixing everything with "man-".  "Purse" needs to be reclaimed for dudes everywhere.  If it's a little bag that you carry money and other small items, it's a purse.

well, there's a reason for that, but yea purses is one of the few that shouldn't be exclusively feminized, as it is most women who spend mens purses

[hashbaz]

There are two reasons.  (1) It's funny, and (2) men are insecure about participating in things that are seen as feminine.

Well, (1) the joke is getting pretty tired, and (2) really, just sack up and go for the eyeliner if you think it looks good.

[sth]

Man purse, murse, "man bag", whatever... best euphemism to date describing it would have to be: "gear bag".

It's not a purse, it's a 'gear bag'.

if it looks like a purse, quacks like a purse and sheds water like a purse... no shame, haters gon hate

[phetto]

its gay

[hashbaz]

its gay

wp sir, on second thought men should continue being insecure.

[tp4tissue]

its gay

wp sir, on second thought men should continue being insecure.

I think it's only good looking men who are insecure... uglies like myself are accepting of our blight

Also, is "it's gay" allowed on gh now? I got lashes for far less provocative speech


Though I wonder....  Are there any homosexuals on GH? and what do they think about their keyboard that's different. .... hmmmm..

 

[sth]

its gay

do you know that gay people are murdered every day specifically because of their homosexuality? beaten to death with sticks, rocks, bats? ridiculed and heckled and spit on and fired from their jobs specifically because of their homosexuality?
do you know what people are saying when they do this stuff to gay people? they're using 'gay' as a pejorative in EXACTLY the same way you are, and it doesn't matter if you didn't mean it with the same hatred, the same scorn or bile, because when you use that word like that, people that are victims of homophobia feel it the same way.

so will you please, for others' sake, not use that word like that?

[davkol]

its gay

do you know that gay people are murdered every day specifically because of their homosexuality? beaten to death with sticks, rocks, bats? ridiculed and heckled and spit on and fired from their jobs specifically because of their homosexuality?
do you know what people are saying when they do this stuff to gay people? they're using 'gay' as a pejorative in EXACTLY the same way you are, and it doesn't matter if you didn't mean it with the same hatred, the same scorn or bile, because when you use that word like that, people that are victims of homophobia feel it the same way.

so will you please, for others' sake, not use that word like that?

Metrosexual. Better?

[jcrouse]

its gay

do you know that gay people are murdered every day specifically because of their homosexuality? beaten to death with sticks, rocks, bats? ridiculed and heckled and spit on and fired from their jobs specifically because of their homosexuality?
do you know what people are saying when they do this stuff to gay people? they're using 'gay' as a pejorative in EXACTLY the same way you are, and it doesn't matter if you didn't mean it with the same hatred, the same scorn or bile, because when you use that word like that, people that are victims of homophobia feel it the same way.

so will you please, for others' sake, not use that word like that?

While I agree with your comments and think you were VERY gentle, remember that people from many cultures visit this forum and some underdtandings and political correct statements in one country may mean absolutely nothing to others.

I remember when my wife first came to the US from Mexico. We were in Walmart looking at dishes. They were black in color. There were a bunch of african americans right next to us and my wife said, "I hate negro", which translates to black in Spanish.

My point, there have been quite a few times on gh when I have seen non native English speakers use what we may term politically incorrect comments and they had absolutely no idea.

Again sth, I think you made your point very well and gently. I just wanted to use this as a personal platform.

Thanks,
John

[sth]

its gay

do you know that gay people are murdered every day specifically because of their homosexuality? beaten to death with sticks, rocks, bats? ridiculed and heckled and spit on and fired from their jobs specifically because of their homosexuality?
do you know what people are saying when they do this stuff to gay people? they're using 'gay' as a pejorative in EXACTLY the same way you are, and it doesn't matter if you didn't mean it with the same hatred, the same scorn or bile, because when you use that word like that, people that are victims of homophobia feel it the same way.

so will you please, for others' sake, not use that word like that?

While I agree with your comments and think you were VERY gentle, remember that people from many cultures visit this forum and some underdtandings and political correct statements in one country may mean absolutely nothing to others.

I remember when my wife first came to the US from Mexico. We were in Walmart looking at dishes. They were black in color. There were a bunch of african americans right next to us and my wife said, "I hate negro", which translates to black in Spanish.

that must have been... fun

However, you, I, phetto and everybody else here knew EXACTLY what phetto meant, and it was not 'lost in translation'.

[rknize]

Yes, he meant that the purse is happy.

[jcrouse]

Actually, it is funny looking back. At the moment I was quite embarassed.

Personally, I don't know how that translates to English. I believe he is in Sweden and things are just different. He has actually sent me pm's where people reply to his posts with slang asking me what they mean.

[Krogenar]

Gentlemen, PLEASE -- stop fighting over man purses!

Also, you betrayed Shiva.

[hashbaz]

[TheQsanity]

Show Image

Lets get even simpler, It's a ****ing BAG!

Why do we gotta show our ignorant side so often, just to seem like we have a harder shell?

Just because you make fun of gay people doesn't mean your penis shrinks any less.

[rowdy]

Hey,    TheQsanity - you just passed 1000 posts!

[Lanx]

i still use gay and retarded, i'll be hanging with friends and if i see a neon yellow car go down the street, i'll be like "that's gay and retarded", i guess in a way it's pretty southern like, most of us grew up just calling things gay or retarded, oh yea i'm sure now i could replace retarded with stupid, like "oh that conservative republican is acting mightly stupid(retarded)", it doesn't have the same gumption, i guess it works, but man, what's a good replacement for gay?

[sth]

i still use gay and retarded, i'll be hanging with friends and if i see a neon yellow car go down the street, i'll be like "that's gay and retarded", i guess in a way it's pretty southern like, most of us grew up just calling things gay or retarded, oh yea i'm sure now i could replace retarded with stupid, like "oh that conservative republican is acting mightly stupid(retarded)", it doesn't have the same gumption, i guess it works, but man, what's a good replacement for gay?

what are you trying to get across by saying something is gay? you obviously don't mean the car is homosexual. you mean that it doesn't fit your aesthetic preferences and is therefore worthy of scorn or disgust. when you say something is gay in that context, you're saying homosexuality is worthy of scorn or disgust.
the point is not that gay is a bad word, it's that it's a loaded word, and when used pejoratively it reinforces the pejorative effect.

[hashbaz]

If you need a generic term of disdain, may I suggest "lame" or "weak".  Or, you know, maybe just try to be more descriptive.

[Lanx]

well some ppl, just use a word to use a word, some ppl use a word to get a reaction, these are idiots, like these guys

a year ago jeremy lin was hot, and of course dumb sportcasters were just salivating over using "chink" in some funny way
http://www.opposingviews.com/i/sports/nba/jeremy-lin-%E2%80%9Cchink-armor%E2%80%9D-culprits-fired-suspended-did-punishments-fit-crimes

how are ppl this stupid? it's not like i'm actively trying to fit niggardly into a conversation when i'm around black friends.

and that's the thing when i'm around my gay friend i'm pretty sure i haven't said, "wow that murse is gay" even tho he'd probably understand i'm not calling an inanimate object a homo-sexual, i'm just saying this thing about ppl being freedom fighters for words, is silly. (and gay)

[hashbaz]

It's not silly for the reasons sth outlined.  Words are arbitrary, but they exist to communicate meaning.  Some meanings cause emotional pain.  And words can communicate things even beyond their denotations (literal meaning) and connotations (what they imply).  When you use the word gay in a lazy and derogatory way it legitimizes the abuse that gay people continue to suffer.

[Lanx]

there's no reason to police a word, how i use a word affects different ppl for the intended purpose. if i see my wife watching a makeup tutorial on youtube, by a guy, i'mma gonna say "that's pretty gay". And she'll say "yeah, but he's a good make-up artist" i'll be like "yea probably". I don't think our A and B conversation drummed up all the pain and injustice homosexuals have had to face in the world because of idiots that believe in god.

I mean sure, if i have a kid and he/she is gay, i'm pretty sure the second they come out to me i've already banned that word from my head, just like ever calling my wife ****, or some other bad word. Otherwise there's no need for ppl to become part of the voluntary word police force.

[hashbaz]

You're missing the point.  It's not just the pain that gay people feel when they hear you say it; it's that when you use it in that way you're projecting to everyone who hears it that it's ok to make fun of gay people.  Including your wife.  Including your straight buddies.  Including yourself.

[Lanx]

I'm not "missing the point", it's that i don't believe there is a point to be made, legitimize what? to my wife and myself who believe that when we use the word gay, we're just describing something, cuz we both grew up using it in that usage. i mean, for our honeymoon we went to italy, it was hot, and she's allergic to the sun, so she has to wear those woman sombero's (sun hat's?) one her head was just hot, and she was in the shade, so she just took it off and put it on my head to rest. she looked at me and said "wow that's pretty gay" and our friends laughed too (we went with friends).

I don't believe between the four of us using and hearing that word, that a homosexual was stoned that day because of it. And it's not like the bunch of us are intolerant either, 5 multicultral atheists on their way to the vatican, commenting on how gay i looked with a woman's hat on cuz my wife used me as a hat rack, isn't the worst way the word could be used. Heck our destination is more anti gay, than our use of the word gay.

[TheQsanity]

Hey,    TheQsanity - you just passed 1000 posts!

Thanks! I Was going to stay at 999 and save the 1K, But I forgot!
haha.

i still use gay and retarded, i'll be hanging with friends and if i see a neon yellow car go down the street, i'll be like "that's gay and retarded", i guess in a way it's pretty southern like, most of us grew up just calling things gay or retarded, oh yea i'm sure now i could replace retarded with stupid, like "oh that conservative republican is acting mightly stupid(retarded)", it doesn't have the same gumption, i guess it works, but man, what's a good replacement for gay?

I have been using "gay" or "retarded" since I was a kid. I mean since I was like three or four. I probably learned it from online gaming. I used to get mad when more and more kids used that word. It was my word.

But now I know better. I use terms like "suck" and "dumb" or "not cool". I may on occasion use "retarded" but I know when I use it. It get a weird felling when I use those words. It is a habit that I built for myself.
It sure will be awkward at first, but once you get used to it, people that use the terms that you used to use are the weird ones. It is kind of a moral thing. One has to choose to make the small effort.

I'm not "missing the point", it's that i don't believe there is a point to be made, legitimize what? to my wife and myself who believe that when we use the word gay, we're just describing something, cuz we both grew up using it in that usage. i mean, for our honeymoon we went to italy, it was hot, and she's allergic to the sun, so she has to wear those woman sombero's (sun hat's?) one her head was just hot, and she was in the shade, so she just took it off and put it on my head to rest. she looked at me and said "wow that's pretty gay" and our friends laughed too (we went with friends).

I don't believe between the four of us using and hearing that word, that a homosexual was stoned that day because of it. And it's not like the bunch of us are intolerant either, 5 multicultral atheists on their way to the vatican, commenting on how gay i looked with a woman's hat on cuz my wife used me as a hat rack, isn't the worst way the word could be used. Heck our destination is more anti gay, than our use of the word gay.

Okay, some things can be considered gay. I think it is also the tone. If you are using it in a more friendly tone. Also it is how accurately and often you use it. When seeing mature adults use the term, it is a little more cute, yet awkward. When you see hooligans use it for everything they see and two times a sentence, it is annoying in more than a couple ways.

[hashbaz]

I'm not "missing the point", it's that i don't believe there is a point to be made, legitimize what? to my wife and myself who believe that when we use the word gay, we're just describing something, cuz we both grew up using it in that usage. i mean, for our honeymoon we went to italy, it was hot, and she's allergic to the sun, so she has to wear those woman sombero's (sun hat's?) one her head was just hot, and she was in the shade, so she just took it off and put it on my head to rest. she looked at me and said "wow that's pretty gay" and our friends laughed too (we went with friends).

I don't believe between the four of us using and hearing that word, that a homosexual was stoned that day because of it. And it's not like the bunch of us are intolerant either, 5 multicultral atheists on their way to the vatican, commenting on how gay i looked with a woman's hat on cuz my wife used me as a hat rack, isn't the worst way the word could be used. Heck our destination is more anti gay, than our use of the word gay.

Sorry, but you're still missing the point.

[Lanx]

I'm not "missing the point", it's that i don't believe there is a point to be made, legitimize what? to my wife and myself who believe that when we use the word gay, we're just describing something, cuz we both grew up using it in that usage. i mean, for our honeymoon we went to italy, it was hot, and she's allergic to the sun, so she has to wear those woman sombero's (sun hat's?) one her head was just hot, and she was in the shade, so she just took it off and put it on my head to rest. she looked at me and said "wow that's pretty gay" and our friends laughed too (we went with friends).

I don't believe between the four of us using and hearing that word, that a homosexual was stoned that day because of it. And it's not like the bunch of us are intolerant either, 5 multicultral atheists on their way to the vatican, commenting on how gay i looked with a woman's hat on cuz my wife used me as a hat rack, isn't the worst way the word could be used. Heck our destination is more anti gay, than our use of the word gay.

Sorry, but you're still missing the point.

what? that i'm not in agreement with you? no i understand what these word police ppl are trying to get across, i understand it just fine, and while i believe the point is silly, i understand it. Just because someone doesn't agree with your point doesn't mean they don't understand.

[funkymeeba]

I'm not "missing the point", it's that i don't believe there is a point to be made, legitimize what? to my wife and myself who believe that when we use the word gay, we're just describing something, cuz we both grew up using it in that usage.

So if I grew up in the South when it was common to drop that colorful name for those of African descent, it would be okay for me to keep on going around saying that, because that's just how things were back then?

[TheQsanity]

I'm not "missing the point", it's that i don't believe there is a point to be made, legitimize what? to my wife and myself who believe that when we use the word gay, we're just describing something, cuz we both grew up using it in that usage.

So if I grew up in the South when it was common to drop that colorful name for those of African descent, it would be okay for me to keep on going around saying that, because that's just how things were back then?

Good point.

[hashbaz]

what? that i'm not in agreement with you? no i understand what these word police ppl are trying to get across, i understand it just fine, and while i believe the point is silly, i understand it. Just because someone doesn't agree with your point doesn't mean they don't understand.

Kindly restate it then.

[keyboardlover]

All you fa***ts really need to stop making fun of gay people.

[Lanx]

I'm not "missing the point", it's that i don't believe there is a point to be made, legitimize what? to my wife and myself who believe that when we use the word gay, we're just describing something, cuz we both grew up using it in that usage.

So if I grew up in the South when it was common to drop that colorful name for those of African descent, it would be okay for me to keep on going around saying that, because that's just how things were back then?

Good point.

i was waiting for this, that's entirely different, nigger (and i'm not being crass, that's the word in question, what am i gonna say n-word and make you think it in your head?) was always used as a way to catagorize a specific ppls, heck just watch django unchained. whereas gay was just used as a term to describe something silly or just not quite right.

i mean, are we going to go to the point of saying that everytime a british person asks for a ***, and lights it up, it's just like the old salem witch trials and they're burning gays at the stake, just like the injustice that the witches felt? cuz their word for cigs is ***?

what? that i'm not in agreement with you? no i understand what these word police ppl are trying to get across, i understand it just fine, and while i believe the point is silly, i understand it. Just because someone doesn't agree with your point doesn't mean they don't understand.

Kindly restate it then.

i already did, you just seem to want to have the last word at the dinner table.

[sth]

I'm not "missing the point", it's that i don't believe there is a point to be made, legitimize what? to my wife and myself who believe that when we use the word gay, we're just describing something, cuz we both grew up using it in that usage.

So if I grew up in the South when it was common to drop that colorful name for those of African descent, it would be okay for me to keep on going around saying that, because that's just how things were back then?

Good point.

i was waiting for this, that's entirely different, nigger (and i'm not being crass, that's the word in question, what am i gonna say n-word and make you think it in your head?) was always used as a way to catagorize a specific ppls, heck just watch django unchained. whereas gay was just used as a term to describe something silly or just not quite right.

i mean, are we going to go to the point of saying that everytime a british person asks for a ***, and lights it up, it's just like the old salem witch trials and they're burning gays at the stake, just like the injustice that the witches felt? cuz their word for cigs is ***?

what? that i'm not in agreement with you? no i understand what these word police ppl are trying to get across, i understand it just fine, and while i believe the point is silly, i understand it. Just because someone doesn't agree with your point doesn't mean they don't understand.

Kindly restate it then.

i already did, you just seem to want to have the last word at the dinner table.

it sounds like you're trying really hard to defend bigotry even after being told that it's not about your own perception of the effect.

[jcrouse]

I agree with lanx here. Everyone here is looking at things from their own perspective and thinking that is just how it is. Words just don't mean the same thing to everyone.  It's that simple. Don't think thst just because in this freaking liberal country that we live in where people get offended and go overboard that it is like that everywhere.

Also, I think hash kinda brought it up, the non verbal part of communications has stronger meaning than the words themselves. You may think that because you have studied a foreign language and can communicate a little that you understand. Well, you don't and never will, completely. Without growing up in that culture and environment you simply will NEVER understand all the non verbal communication.

[sth]

I agree with lanx here. Everyone here is looking at things from their own perspective and thinking that is just how it is. Words just don't mean the same thing to everyone.  It's that simple.

if it's that simple, then why is it so hard to avoid using words that mean much more offensive things to others than they do to you? what is the point of holding on to that language?

[TheQsanity]

I agree with lanx here. Everyone here is looking at things from their own perspective and thinking that is just how it is. Words just don't mean the same thing to everyone.  It's that simple.

if it's that simple, then why is it so hard to avoid using words that mean much more offensive things to others than they do to you? what is the point of holding on to that language?

Both of yall are right. In some way. It is a big grey zone. It is only grey because one says all white, others say all black. Black + White?   = Grey. Grey always wins!!!!

[jcrouse]

I agree with lanx here. Everyone here is looking at things from their own perspective and thinking that is just how it is. Words just don't mean the same thing to everyone.  It's that simple.

if it's that simple, then why is it so hard to avoid using words that mean much more offensive things to others than they do to you? what is the point of holding on to that language?

I still don't think you are seeing it from their percpective. You are saying it is offensive, don't use it (and I agree, for me) but in their culture and daily communications it could be totally acceptable. They may not even understsnd your perspective and if you told them they would seem ignorant to you and say, why not, it is ok for us and we always say that, it means something else here.

I guess I just can't explain well what I want to say.

[sth]

I agree with lanx here. Everyone here is looking at things from their own perspective and thinking that is just how it is. Words just don't mean the same thing to everyone.  It's that simple.

if it's that simple, then why is it so hard to avoid using words that mean much more offensive things to others than they do to you? what is the point of holding on to that language?

I still don't think you are seeing it from their percpective. You are saying it is offensive, don't use it (and I agree, for me) but in their culture and daily communications it could be totally acceptable. They may not even understsnd your perspective and if you told them they would seem ignorant to you and say, why not, it is ok for us and we always say that, it means something else here.

I guess I just can't explain well what I want to say.

i think i understand what you're saying but are you implying that we need to respect aspects of other cultures that are homophobic? this is clearly not a case of 'that word just means something different round these parts', it's a vilification of homosexuality.

[funkymeeba]

Words just don't mean the same thing to everyone.  It's that simple. Don't think thst just because in this freaking liberal country that we live in where people get offended and go overboard that it is like that everywhere.

You're right. Words don't mean the same thing to everyone. That's why when I want to make offensive jokes, I make it in my circle of friends who I have known for many years. If I'm walking around and make a casual joke about rape, and it triggers a bad memory for someone who was a victim of such a heinous crime, is that person being too sensitive? No. How about someone who is homosexual and has been beaten for it, and had their traditional-family-values family abandon them as if they were nothing? Is "gay" still okay to joke about there?

[keyboardlover]

I've said it before and I will say it again:

There are two types of Geekhackers. Those who want to be left alone, and those who simply will not leave them alone.

Peace comes when you learn to just let things go and leave other people the **** alone.

[Lanx]

Words just don't mean the same thing to everyone.  It's that simple. Don't think thst just because in this freaking liberal country that we live in where people get offended and go overboard that it is like that everywhere.

You're right. Words don't mean the same thing to everyone. That's why when I want to make offensive jokes, I make it in my circle of friends who I have known for many years. If I'm walking around and make a casual joke about rape, and it triggers a bad memory for someone who was a victim of such a heinous crime, is that person being too sensitive? No. How about someone who is homosexual and has been beaten for it, and had their traditional-family-values family abandon them as if they were nothing? Is "gay" still okay to joke about there?

then that's why, you are a mindful person, as most are in circle of friends. no one is gonna "force the issue" or at most someone will quip up and say, "hey this might be a touchy subject for so and so,"and then ppl will be like "oh yea that's right! how careless of me".

[phetto]

Haha, guys chill out.
First of all, I know many homosexuals and I think they are fantastic persons.
Most gays are way nicer in general then straight people.

I'm sorry if you guys got offended by my comment.
I sometimes forget that this is a international forum.

I'm from a different culture, similar to USA but still not quite the same.

People here usually don't get upset with these kind of things here.

Yet again I'm sorry.

[hashbaz]

When you use words like ***got and gay in a derogatory manner, you participate in and strengthen the culture of abuse of gay people.  The more public the forum, the more people are affected.  But even if you mutter it under your breath, you are still affecting at least yourself.

It's ugly in any context, in the same way that jokes about rape are ugly.  If you're not a homophobe or a racist or a misogynist, why do you choose to participate in their culture?

[phetto]

I tried to make a couple of readable sentences above, please try to understand. If not I will be out of this "community" for good. I'm tired of this ****

[hashbaz]

I tried to make a couple of readable sentences above, please try to understand. If not I will be out of this "community" for good. I'm tired of this ****

Sorry if it seems like I was responding to you directly, I was actually talking mainly to Lanx.

[Lanx]

i can use the word gay, in any manner i choose, cause the word police can't enforce it, it's not like the word gay, belongs to homosexuals, when did they take ownership of the word?, but in a negative manner? Heck as far as i remember, i sang gay every day of my life when i was a kid, who didn't watch the flintstones? at the very end when they all rush in to the house "we'll have a gay old time". I mean saying that gay in a negative tone, is the same as throwing a stone at a homosexual.  What the heck, who invented this weird rule?

i mean if we say that, why don't we start with like, not treating them like third class citizens?, why are debating about them over the dinner table? why is it that legalizing weed, is more of a reality than letting homosexuals get married? Maybe that should be the subject, rather than saying something superfluous like everytime the word "gay" is mentioned, a baby dies in heaven.

then you're trying to strengthen your stance by throwing around rape. yea just throw that word around, rape. why? you don't have to whip out the big guns to argue your point.

[hashbaz]

It feels like you're intentionally misunderstanding me.  It's not the word, it's the idea behind the word.  It's the trivialization and mockery of human beings that's damaging.

[Lanx]

no, i understand just fine, i just don't acknowledge it. again i don't have to agree with you, in order to understand you.

[hashbaz]

Clearly you disagree with me, and that's fine.  But the things you write lead me to believe that you're not grasping it.

[sth]

i mean if we say that, why don't we start with like, not treating them like third class citizens?, why are debating about them over the dinner table? why is it that legalizing weed, is more of a reality than letting homosexuals get married?

why not all of this AND we don't throw around gay as a pejorative?

[hashbaz]

Lanx, just ask yourself why you would choose to use this language in a derogatory way.  Why not just be respectful of others?  Why perpetuate stereotypes?  Why are you doing it?

[Lanx]

Clearly you disagree with me, and that's fine.  But the things you write lead me to believe that you're not grasping it.

here, in the simplest way, you want me to grasp a famous quote

"Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” yoda

This is how i feel about vegans, fine go do whatever, you don't eat redmeat cuz you're either all nature like and don't want to kill, cool. Don't lecture me when i'm eating a steak. See, vegans are fine ppl, however they become unbearable when they decide to preach their religion of vegetable murder.

[hashbaz]

I'm vocal about this because it harms human beings.  Sorry if it's annoying.  But seriously, give it some thought.

[Lanx]

Lanx, just ask yourself why you would choose to use this language in a derogatory way.  Why not just be respectful of others?  Why perpetuate stereotypes?  Why are you doing it?

whoever said i used it in a derogatory way?, i've always used it as descriptive. I don't go all westboro baptist on the word gay.

[litster]

Lanx is ___ and ___________.

[RougeR]

This thread is gay.

[hashbaz]

whoever said i used it in a derogatory way?, i've always used it as descriptive.

You did -- that's how this conversation started.

i still use gay and retarded, i'll be hanging with friends and if i see a neon yellow car go down the street, i'll be like "that's gay and retarded", i guess in a way it's pretty southern like, most of us grew up just calling things gay or retarded, oh yea i'm sure now i could replace retarded with stupid, like "oh that conservative republican is acting mightly stupid(retarded)", it doesn't have the same gumption, i guess it works, but man, what's a good replacement for gay?

[Lanx]

I'm vocal about this because it harms human beings.  Sorry if it's annoying.  But seriously, give it some thought.

maybe that's the issue at hand, is it more harmful to shove and force your view unto someone, in the misguided thinking that it will lead enlightenment? this sounds like those crazy door to door jesus ppl, jehovah witness', i listened to them when i was 10, i told my mom about it that night, she said, why! they're crazy, ignore them next time, and she's right, what kind of crazy nutjob goes door to door preaching about a zombie, and when a 10 year old answers the door, tries to convert him!

[litster]

... but man, what's a good replacement for gay?

Lanx?

[Lanx]

whoever said i used it in a derogatory way?, i've always used it as descriptive.

You did -- that's how this conversation started.

i still use gay and retarded, i'll be hanging with friends and if i see a neon yellow car go down the street, i'll be like "that's gay and retarded", i guess in a way it's pretty southern like, most of us grew up just calling things gay or retarded, oh yea i'm sure now i could replace retarded with stupid, like "oh that conservative republican is acting mightly stupid(retarded)", it doesn't have the same gumption, i guess it works, but man, what's a good replacement for gay?

yea, sounds descriptive, i was describing the neon yellow car as not the most masculine option, i don't think i was being derogatory to the car.

[hashbaz]

maybe that's the issue at hand, is it more harmful to shove and force your view unto someone, in the misguided thinking that it will lead enlightenment? this sounds like those crazy door to door jesus ppl, jehovah witness', i listened to them when i was 10, i told my mom about it that night, she said, why! they're crazy, ignore them next time, and she's right, what kind of crazy nutjob goes door to door preaching about a zombie, and when a 10 year old answers the door, tries to convert him!

Are you against discussing this at all?

[RougeR]

all joking aside though, i dont see what the issue is with what phetto said....this is something often used by gay men...he called it gay, straight men have an issue with being seen as gay or effeminate...ergo this bag is not a good thing for straight men who feel this way to wear or use.
why would they defend something as being not gay if not, if they were indifferent they would not defend it.

Furthermore, phetto did not use the term derogatorily or even out of context. This bag is a bit gay, you would see a gay man with it.
Its different to him saying click clacks are gay or, that oak tree is gay.

- i do think it is silly and misinformed to call something completely random gay  i.e a click clack or an oak tree.
and i do think it can lead to stigma, i do not think it is worth getting this worked up about, especially with language barriers in the way

[Lanx]

maybe that's the issue at hand, is it more harmful to shove and force your view unto someone, in the misguided thinking that it will lead enlightenment? this sounds like those crazy door to door jesus ppl, jehovah witness', i listened to them when i was 10, i told my mom about it that night, she said, why! they're crazy, ignore them next time, and she's right, what kind of crazy nutjob goes door to door preaching about a zombie, and when a 10 year old answers the door, tries to convert him!

Are you against discussing this at all?

i thought i was, i pointed out what the ulterior motive might be, and related a story when from i was a child (much like what i've been doing, since that's just what i've been doing.)

[Lanx]

all joking aside though, i dont see what the issue is with what phetto said....this is something often used by gay men...he called it gay, straight men have an issue with being seen as gay or effeminate...ergo this bag is not a good thing for straight men who feel this way to wear or use.
why would they defend something as being not gay if not, if they were indifferent they would not defend it.

Furthermore, phetto did not use the term derogatorily or even out of context. This bag is a bit gay, you would see a gay man with it.
Its different to him saying click clacks are gay or, that oak tree is gay.

- i do think it is silly and misinformed to call something completely random gay  i.e a click clack or an oak tree.
and i do think it can lead to stigma, i do not think it is worth getting this worked up about, especially with language barriers in the way

actually that's about it, was it in good form to use a term, that's currently commonly known to describe a group of ppl, and apply it to a description situation.

[hashbaz]

I didn't take offense at phetto's original remark.  That said, in context it was a rebuttal to what I had just finished pointing out which is that it's ridiculous that straight men are so terrified of appearing feminine in any way.

I took Lanx's original post about gay and retarded to mean that he uses both to mean stupid or lame.  Both gay and retarded were commonly used in that way where I grew up, and I'm sure it's the same where Lanx is from regardless of whether he himself uses gay to mean lame.  In any case, that is the context in which we have been arguing.

[Lanx]

I didn't take offense at phetto's original remark.  That said, in context it was a rebuttal to what I had just finished pointing out which is that it's ridiculous that straight men are so terrified of appearing feminine in any way.

I took Lanx's original post about gay and retarded to mean that he uses both to mean stupid or lame.  Both gay and retarded were commonly used in that way where I grew up, and I'm sure it's the same where Lanx is from regardless of whether he himself uses gay to mean lame.  In any case, that is the context in which we have been arguing.

yea, i'm using it in the way that it has descriptive properties, i didn't have nor do i, or probably will ever have harmful intent towards a group of ppl. But i don't need to be told, that if i use it in my way, some other person, that thinks in their way of it, means that it leads to condemnation, being forcefed or preached to, this is your type of thinking, i don't have to believe in your way.

[sth]

I didn't take offense at phetto's original remark.  That said, in context it was a rebuttal to what I had just finished pointing out which is that it's ridiculous that straight men are so terrified of appearing feminine in any way.

I took Lanx's original post about gay and retarded to mean that he uses both to mean stupid or lame.  Both gay and retarded were commonly used in that way where I grew up, and I'm sure it's the same where Lanx is from regardless of whether he himself uses gay to mean lame.  In any case, that is the context in which we have been arguing.

But i don't need to be told, that if i use it in my way, some other person, that thinks in their way of it, means that it leads to condemnation, being forcefed or preached to,

you clearly do, bro.

[phetto]

I agree with lanx here. Everyone here is looking at things from their own perspective and thinking that is just how it is. Words just don't mean the same thing to everyone.  It's that simple.

if it's that simple, then why is it so hard to avoid using words that mean much more offensive things to others than they do to you? what is the point of holding on to that language?

I still don't think you are seeing it from their percpective. You are saying it is offensive, don't use it (and I agree, for me) but in their culture and daily communications it could be totally acceptable. They may not even understsnd your perspective and if you told them they would seem ignorant to you and say, why not, it is ok for us and we always say that, it means something else here.

I guess I just can't explain well what I want to say.

i think i understand what you're saying but are you implying that we need to respect aspects of other cultures that are homophobic? this is clearly not a case of 'that word just means something different round these parts', it's a vilification of homosexuality.

So sth, you are implying that my culture are homophobic just because we say things like, damn that lamp looks gay or something like that?

I'd say that it's the other way around, the American culture or your  tree hugging, underground death metal culture are the homophobic one, since you are the one getting offended.

Or like the other day when you clearly knew that my joke in the GH shoe thread was a joke. (I have a lot of shoes)

Think about what you are saying, really.

[TheQsanity]

Guys, guys, guys,

Lanx, when your mom tells you to stop saying gays and you want her to effectively stop nagging and just say okay. (not "I don't need to be told". What happens when you tell your mom that)

Guys, you guys forgot the point. You guys are arguing just for the sake of arguing. You clearly don't think so now, but this really has gotten out of hand.

Lanx, please just be the bigger man and just say something along the lines of "okay, I respect gay people and all that jazz"

sth and hasshbaz, I get the feeling Lanx really isn't that harsh to gays, just you guys.

I am not a buddhist, but their teachings actually mean more than just fancy ideas or catchy words.

His first teaching is tolerance. No matter your religion, or moral code, tolerate the ones you conciser "intolerable". Why teach the ignorant when they are not ready to understand. Might ass well throw a rock at a wall. I believe when you come to terms with another's beliefs and speak to them eye to eye; that is when work gets done. It helps make life so much easier.

 Think of your idea as if it was the top of a rock wall. When you are explaining your idea with reasons that only makes sense to you. It is like you getting on one side of a pulley and just pulling the recipient up to your idea. They will touch your idea but they will not grasp the stones as tight on the way up. If you want to teach, you have to come down to their level and show them every stone on the wall as if you were their eyes, not just the guy at the end of the pulley. When teaching there must be tolerance. There will be questioning and there will be backlash. If anyone of you are right, the teacher, you should tolerate the other's ideas.

 I believe things should be done by example. Somehow people pick up on that more than words.

sth, Lanx, hashbaz, if someone doesn't respect a certain action let's not antagonize them by repeating it.

Anyways, too deep.

It is the Internet. The internet is pretty ****ed up. Let's just accept each other for who we are and suck each other's ****s.
I just hope you guys don't teach kids to say words like "gay".
 You may understand what it may and may-not mean, but that doesn't mean the youth you use them around do.

phetto: gay is not to descriptive. I do use the term when I am around mature family members, but I don't like it when youth's use them. They do not value vocabulary and they use terms that should not be use in such a way. When there is no definite meaning to a word people misinterpret things more often. A lot of assuming is going on. It is not very clear in my book.

It is not your culture because of were you are from but more of just the type of people you guys are and age group you guys are in.
I am not sure if you believe what you said in the second line but I know in my environment, there are "fresh, new, flexible, liberal"  as much as "conservative, old-fashioned".
I noticed it right away when sth mentioned you and pushed you away as if you were an outsider, but what you said is quite ignorant also.
There are a lot of people here in America, and there is not just one culture. There are sooooo many. I will not assume how it is where you are because I really don't know. I have not been there and I will try to not let what people say about another country influence me. In my eyes, I don't see people in color or dressed in their homeland's color. I see people for people. Please, I am genuinely interested in how it is like in Sweden. I do love Swedish music.
I am eighteen. My family was from Asia, they are quite conservative. I grew up more recently, and far from Asia. I have been in apart of many culture-groups. I have been apart in Asians, Mexicans, Caucasians, African-Americans, Rich, Poor, Internet, Gaming, Stoner, Partiers, Skaters, Nerds, Jocks, Elderly, little kids, big kids. They are all very vast and polar at times. The one thing I am not entirely exposed to is the European culture. I can only assume that I know nothing at all.

It is getting late here, Good night all.

[davkol]

You're missing the point.  It's not just the pain that gay people feel when they hear you say it; it's that when you use it in that way you're projecting to everyone who hears it that it's ok to make fun of gay people.  Including your wife.  Including your straight buddies.  Including yourself.

To honest, even my gay friends don't mind, only politically-correct pseudohumanists do, but hey! I'm not in the USA (and I'm glad to be somewhere else exactly because of this stuff).

[keyboardlover]

My gay friends call me (and themselves) a f****t all the time, and I'm straight. Lol.

Seems like nobody liked my idea of just leaving people alone and moving on with their lives. And now you understand Geekhack in a nutshell.

[davkol]

IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

[keyboardlover]

War is peace. Freedom is slavery.

[Krogenar]

SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!  )

My opinion is that people should be allowed to say whatever they like, so long as it does not cause someone else physical harm. Emotional harm? Eh, not so sure -- that would allow the most sensitive among us to become the language police, and I don't want to live in that world.

I think it's enough that if someone uses a derogatory, insulting word, the larger (more polite) society exacts a cost on that person's social standing. Said another way: if you say something that makes you sound ridiculous, homophobic, stupid, etc. -- your social standing drops accordingly.

This only holds for communities that are not already stupid and homophobic.

An interesting discussion from my younger years. Someone was complaining that the various Gay Parade's in NYC were getting out of hand. They said (perhaps correctly) that they would 'never' take their child to that particular parade, so as to avoid answering questions like, "Mom, why does that man's pants have no bottom?" and so on. This sounded rather reasonable to me at the time. This person's point was that there are a lot of gay people who don't wear their sexuality on their sleeve. You wouldn't know they were gay unless they told you. I work with a designer in my business who could walk into my factory either in a perfectly tailored business suit that should put him on a magazine cover... or hot pink boy shorts that are nearly inside him.

Krog: "Hey, how are y--    Aww, man!! C'mon!" (averts eyes) 
Designer: (laughs)

So it made sense to me that being so overtly gay during the Gay Parade was a good enough reason to be 'against it' in some way, or to put the people who walk in dressed that way into some other category, away from 'normal' gay people. But then it occurred to me -- Carnivale and Mardi Gras are very, very overtly heterosexual parades/celebrations, aren't they? Women wear pasties and crystals and feathers and not much else. So really, is it so wrong for gay men and women to parade about in bondage gear? It seems to me that no one should be forced to hide who they are. America is about exulting in who you are, without fear.

I'm still against people in parades having sex in public (hetero- or homosexual sex, makes no difference), which is (rightly) illegal.

I do however, get very irked when some gay rights organizations try to make it illegal to openly disagree with them. (ala the Chik-Fil-A incident from last year). Disagreement is not the same as acting against someone else, or infringing upon their rights.

So, say what you like and pay (or reap) the consequences.

[iri]

do you know that gay people are murdered every day specifically because of their homosexuality? beaten to death with sticks, rocks, bats? ridiculed and heckled and spit on and fired from their jobs specifically because of their homosexuality?

are they ever sodomized with retractable batons?

[tp4tissue]

My gay friends call me (and themselves) a f****t all the time, and I'm straight. Lol.

Seems like nobody liked my idea of just leaving people alone and moving on with their lives. And now you understand Geekhack in a nutshell.

Why are you so "sure".. maybe you are a f**got, and only a full f**got could tell, because you're in denial.

Enough. -JwaZ

[Krogenar]

My gay friends call me (and themselves) a f****t all the time, and I'm straight. Lol.

Seems like nobody liked my idea of just leaving people alone and moving on with their lives. And now you understand Geekhack in a nutshell.

Why are you so "sure".. maybe you are a f**got, and only a full f**got could tell, because you're in denial.