Leave town and move to country... drop this life and start a new one...

[phinix]

I thought I would share some of my thoughts with you guys.
In last around 5 years i've been very busy at work - working a lot, like 24/7. I was losing time with my family, giving 110% of myself at work etc.
After around 18 years of work in total I feel like I'm fed up with all those jobs, fed up living in a city and want to change soemething in my live. I want to move out and l live somewhere in a country.
I don't want to keep going in this stressful live anymore, I want peace, I want to do something that will make me happy and keep me healthy, mentally and physically.
I'm tired of this overall stress. In last years I noticed I've been developing a nice little depression and started to physically feel it all. I haven't gone to doctor with this, but in last year I started to have these weird panic moments, when I couldn't breath and felt like elephant was sitting on my chest, just driving down to work. It goes bad in evenings and mornings. I fell better during the day. I started to have weird fears, like don't want to go out, see people, do anymore projects at work. So I decided to quit my job and I did it...
Now, after 2 weeks of sitting at home I started to feel better a bit, fears and panic moments stopped, I think... Thing is, now I need to look for a new job, so new stress started;)

Anyway, in last 2 years I kept telling my wife that I want to change something in my life, want to get a job, where I won't feel stressed all tthe time. I've been IT my whole life and I loved it, but lately my last two jobs in last 10 years changed my feelings towards computers and IT in general, I started not to like it. This is weird as since I was a little kid I loved them som much, I knew that I will be IT and wanted to work with computers my whole life. I kept telling my wife I would like to move out from the city, even something that radical like drop everything and live in a small log house in the middle of nowhere, just to stop seeing all those fake people at work, listen to their crap and pretend we are all "family" and working together for something better...
I never thought that sitting in front of computer for 10-15 hours a day will make me sad...

Funny. I've been looking at houses in Sweden, Denmark, Canada. Far from cities, like in small villages. Search for ways to work from home, something I could do, not going out etc
Oh, and this is not middle age crisis!:) I just turned 39 2 weeks ago, but still have that funny 18 year old guy inside who loves computer games... and keyboards!

I don't know... just sitting at home and trying to find something I could do and thought I would type something up here to see what my fellow geeks would say...

Does anyone have the same feeling? That would like to drop the life you've been having and move to some quiet place?

[clasicks]

I don't have the appropriate time for an appropriate response.

You are not alone - I resonate strongly with much of what you wrote. I think you have done the right thing in looking for an alternate employer and that is a great step to make changes that better suit you and your life.

One thing to consider as always: Are there OTHER ways that you could manage the stress of the working enviornment? I find that no matter what "job" or "work" you are currently undertaking will always cause you stress - maybe not on the first day, but surely something will pop up that pushes you right to that personal limit.

Also, The grass is ALWAYS greener...

[Sintpinty]

All i can say really is do your best at work. Save up for that cash so eventually you can get more keyboards and retire.
Canada is a nice place for rural farms, however housing is really expensive in the Great Lakes Area. I live in a neighbouring city near Toronto, Ontario.  I would say that it's nice and crowded downtown however there are some peaceful suburbs uptown.

[tp4tissue]

It's rarely  any  1  thing..   that creates depression.


Most often, it's a combination of  Environment,  Personality,  Occupation,  DIET, Sleep, Stimulant use (caffeine, tobacco) ..

So, while you're thinking about making a shift, it's a good idea to slow down and analyze more accurately what it is about -the current- lifestyle which has culminated in your distraught state of mind.

Similar to peeps who have rapid serial relationships, never pausing to assess why the previous one ended.


Do not neglect diet, it's one of the major causes of depression.  There are no reasons too small, and also no reason which is the sole cause.

[pixelpusher]

Is it possible to live a stress-free life?  Because I don't think that's possible.  I wish you luck, but I think you are seeking a mythical treasure.

[tp4tissue]

Is it possible to live a stress-free life?  Because I don't think that's possible.  I wish you luck, but I think you are seeking a mythical treasure.

Never outside = no more stersss... hahaha jk.. tp4 = some stress.

[iri]

Funny. I've been looking at houses in Sweden, Denmark, Canada.

If you are a European or Canadian citizen, good for you!

[phinix]

All i can say really is do your best at work. Save up for that cash so eventually you can get more keyboards and retire.
Canada is a nice place for rural farms, however housing is really expensive in the Great Lakes Area. I live in a neighbouring city near Toronto, Ontario.  I would say that it's nice and crowded downtown however there are some peaceful suburbs uptown.

I always loved Calgary and Banff - Banff is amazing, Calgary as well. I liek the weather there. I miss snow. Here is Glasgow it rains most of the time...

Is it possible to live a stress-free life?  Because I don't think that's possible.  I wish you luck, but I think you are seeking a mythical treasure.

Well, I know its not possible to find stress-free work, but I'm sure I could find a job that won't be on same level of stress I had in the past.

I don't have the appropriate time for an appropriate response.

You are not alone - I resonate strongly with much of what you wrote. I think you have done the right thing in looking for an alternate employer and that is a great step to make changes that better suit you and your life.

One thing to consider as always: Are there OTHER ways that you could manage the stress of the working enviornment? I find that no matter what "job" or "work" you are currently undertaking will always cause you stress - maybe not on the first day, but surely something will pop up that pushes you right to that personal limit.

Also, The grass is ALWAYS greener...

Yep, I know what you mean. That is something I need to find out - how to deal with stress - at least with this amount I was having. I have a feeling that I passed some mental point that any, even a low stress is scaring me off, putting me off work. I don't know how can I deal with this, how can I push those thoughts away when it is happening. I'm a bit scared to think that I really may have a depression. Don't want to speak with doctor as I don't think drugs will help. I'm trying to find my own way to fight with this...

It's rarely  any  1  thing..   that creates depression.


Most often, it's a combination of  Environment,  Personality,  Occupation,  DIET, Sleep, Stimulant use (caffeine, tobacco) ..

So, while you're thinking about making a shift, it's a good idea to slow down and analyze more accurately what it is about -the current- lifestyle which has culminated in your distraught state of mind.

Similar to peeps who have rapid serial relationships, never pausing to assess why the previous one ended.


Do not neglect diet, it's one of the major causes of depression.  There are no reasons too small, and also no reason which is the sole cause.

Hey, tp4! I knew you gonna jump in:) Happy to see you here.

Ooft, please don't even start the diet subject - this is one of my biggest problems during my whole life. Struggling with obesity is like my second hobby;)
But yes, diet may have something to do with my depression as well. Something to look into...

Funny. I've been looking at houses in Sweden, Denmark, Canada.

If you are a European or Canadian citizen, good for you!

European. You see, 14 years ago I closed one chapter in my liofe and moved to different country. It's a really big move, so doing it again would be harder than before, now, being 39 years old and having a child. I would love to move, but main problem is what would I do there, what kind of job could I do to provide for my family. That is the problem.

[noisyturtle]

I've often thought about dropping everything and leaving it all behind to move to Hokkaido, but then I quickly reason that I don't speak Japanese and couldn't find a good job outside of Tokyo.

Maybe if I ever win the lottery I'll buy a nice chateau in the mountains where everyone can leave me alone.

[tp4tissue]

I've watched tons of van-life videos.. That's the dream.. I just can't get 1080gtx and gigabit in the van..

[algernon]

I've been in similar shoes: I've been working in IT for the past 20 years, often pulling all-nighters. I worked for a lot of different companies, on wildly different things (anything from 8-bit embedded hardware to 100+ node data processing clusters), and most of the time, ended up feeling the world's ****, and we should just blow it all up, and see which religion was right (discordianism, of course).

So I switched jobs, and am working remotely, from home. This is a million times better: no stupid commute, no idiotic open plan office, no office with people in it at all, meetings are considerably fewer, shorter, and more useful, because time zone differences and a whole bunch of other reasons. I get to arrange my day much better: we can  go to the playground with the kids in the morning, and I'll work a bit more in the evening when they're asleep. Since I was never a people-person, I don't miss being able to talk to colleagues. Even when I was working in an office, I talked to the person sitting right beside me over the 'net, with whatever communication app the company used that day.

This was step one of re-architecting my life. The next step is to move from the city to a much smaller town (from 3 million population to... 7 thousand), into a green area, with far better air, water, and so on. We're very close to moving, looking forward to it.

Step three is improving my health: I need to loose a good few kgs, and get in shape. Moving out of the city will help immensely with that, and with working remotely, mostly with folks 6+ hours away from me timezone-wise, I can afford to go for a run / bit of cycling / etc in the morning, after the playground (or instead, once the kids are old enough for kindergarten).

So if you don't like the city: move out! It helps. Working remotely, likewise. You can even stay in IT, because moving out and working remotely will lift your spirit high enough to counter the trashfire that is our field.

[iri]

The next step is to move from the city to a much smaller town (from 3 million population to... 7 thousand), into a green area, with far better air, water, and so on.

Leaving Paris will certainly help

[Nerd]

All i can say really is do your best at work. Save up for that cash so eventually you can get more keyboards and retire.
Canada is a nice place for rural farms, however housing is really expensive in the Great Lakes Area. I live in a neighbouring city near Toronto, Ontario.  I would say that it's nice and crowded downtown however there are some peaceful suburbs uptown.

I agree.

[phinix]

Leaving town would need to start with finding a job outside, I think.
I guess I Would need to pick a place and try to find a job there. Go there first, then get family moved after I'm settled.

[xtrafrood]

Just a thought: the further you move from the city the closer you are to angrier and less intelligent raccoons.

Which I guess only becomes a problem when you find yourself in front of a raccoon's exit.

In which case you might become part of the raccoon's exit. 

So, basically free acupuncture.  Nice.

[tp4tissue]

Just a thought: the further you move from the city the closer you are to angrier and less intelligent raccoons.

Which I guess only becomes a problem when you find yourself in front of a raccoon's exit.

In which case you might become part of the raccoon's exit. 

So, basically free acupuncture.  Nice.

Tp4 would like to order 2x racoon for shoulder pains.

[JP]

Just a thought: the further you move from the city the closer you are to angrier and less intelligent raccoons.

Which I guess only becomes a problem when you find yourself in front of a raccoon's exit.

In which case you might become part of the raccoon's exit. 

So, basically free acupuncture.  Nice.

So when life gives you raccoons trap them and make coon skin caps?

[tp4tissue]

So when life gives you raccoons trap them and make coon skin caps?

HIV (AIDS), from  Simian Immunodeficiency Virus (SIV),  Bush meat trade (Monkey meat, Africa), 25 Million human deaths

Measles,  from, Rinderpest virus,  (Domestication of Cows), 200 Million human deaths

Small Pox, from, Camel Pox, 400 Million human deaths

Whooping Cough, from, Domesticion of Pigs, 90,000 deaths

Typhoid Fever, from, Chickens,  15 million deaths

Influenza, from, Ducks,

Leprosy, from Water Buffalo,

Common Cold, from Horses

RACOOONS ??

[iri]

coon

When I see this word, it reminds me how difficult it is to be an open source maintainer.

http://erlang.org/pipermail/erlang-questions/2018-February/094769.html

[Signature]

Let me know if you need any info on Sweden etc. 

[xtrafrood]

coon

When I see this word, it reminds me how difficult it is to be an open source maintainer.

http://erlang.org/pipermail/erlang-questions/2018-February/094769.html

When the wiki description of the language has the word 'garbage' in it, it's got to be good 

Apparently this thread has become a raccoon thread.

Please keep in mind that creating a raccoon farm will systematically deplete the behaviors that lead to raccoon acupuncture.

[tp4tissue]

Let me know if you need any info on Sweden etc. 

Sweden females = skinny ?

[Signature]

Let me know if you need any info on Sweden etc. 

Sweden females = skinny ?

More skinny than North America 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_body_mass_index

[tp4tissue]

Let me know if you need any info on Sweden etc. 

Sweden females = skinny ?

More skinny than North America 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_body_mass_index

oooo... Indeed..

Mean bmi

north america..  28.8 fem,  28.8 mal
sweden..           24.9 fem,  26.7 mal


But this is 2014 data,  we need a live update.. has user -Signature- seen any changes over the last 5 yrs.

[SBJ]

Let me know if you need any info on Sweden etc. 

Sweden females = skinny ?

More skinny than North America 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_body_mass_index

oooo... Indeed..

Mean bmi

north america..  28.8 fem,  28.8 mal
sweden..           24.9 fem,  26.7 mal


But this is 2014 data,  we need a live update.. has user -Signature- seen any changes over the last 5 yrs.

If the stats are good will you consider moving to Sweden?

[tp4tissue]

If the stats are good will you consider moving to Sweden?

Here's the thing..

The only near-term critical vulnerability for humanity is -Influenza- pandemic, similar to 1918's Spanish Flu, which eliminated 75 million humans in less than 1yr.

So, nearing old age, Tp4 would probably want to go somewhere that's Fairly COLD or snowbound often..

That way, a log cabin in a snow field, away from OTHERS, with plenty of Rice in barrels + shotgun..   = Survival.

[SBJ]

If the stats are good will you consider moving to Sweden?

plenty of Rice in barrels + shotgun..   = Survival.

What about your interwebs?
Aren't you going to need that in your golden years?

[tp4tissue]

What about your interwebs?
Aren't you going to need that in your golden years?

Well, if it's pandemic times, the intreweb wouldn't do much. dem' game serverz gonna be down

and all the players would be dying AFK, so who'd u play with.

I'll just be watching movies and tv shows.

[SBJ]

What about your interwebs?
Aren't you going to need that in your golden years?

Well, if it's pandemic times, the intreweb wouldn't do much. dem' game serverz gonna be down

and all the players would be dying AFK, so who'd u play with.

I'll just be watching movies and tv shows.

Assuming no pandemic happens, what will you be doing then?

[tp4tissue]

Assuming no pandemic happens, what will you be doing then?

Hrrrrmmm....suppose, still preparing for the pandemic..

[phinix]

If the stats are good will you consider moving to Sweden?

...
That way, a log cabin in a snow field, away from OTHERS, with plenty of Rice in barrels + shotgun..   = Survival.

Perfect, I would love to do that, but need money to live there.

[tp4tissue]

Perfect, I would love to do that, but need money to live there.

might be down for civilization reboot..

3x males, 21x females

6x nintendo gamecubes. 12 copies of smash melee



10kg rice per day, 3yrs to effectively resume agriculture,

11,169kg of rice.

Surprisingly this only costs ~$11,000,   probably less, if we buy all at once.

Something equivalent to this amount in assorted dried beans, another ~$11,000..

Main hurdle will be genetic diversity problem,  but that's impossible to solve at this scale, you need thousands of people.

[phinix]

Perfect, I would love to do that, but need money to live there.

might be down for civilization reboot..

3x males, 21x females

6x nintendo gamecubes. 12 copies of smash melee



10kg rice per day, 3yrs to effectively resume agriculture,

11,169kg of rice.

Surprisingly this only costs ~$11,000,   probably less, if we buy all at once.

Something equivalent to this amount in assorted dried beans, another ~$11,000..

Main hurdle will be genetic diversity problem,  but that's impossible to solve at this scale, you need thousands of people.

...but you only calculated rice. What about females? These are expensive:)

By the way, you must love rice, do you?

[tp4tissue]

...but you only calculated rice. What about females? These are expensive:)

By the way, you must love rice, do you?

Everyone loves rice.. 

The only thing in the way has been that quack doctor atkins, who covered up his heart disease from eating his own damn diet, then dying, his wife paying to alter medical records, finally his company filing for bankruptcy..

[phinix]

...but you only calculated rice. What about females? These are expensive:)

By the way, you must love rice, do you?

Everyone loves rice.. 

The only thing in the way has been that quack doctor atkins, who covered up his heart disease from eating his own damn diet, then dying, his wife paying to alter medical records, finally his company filing for bankruptcy..

Not a fan of keto diet I see..

[atarione]

anyone that lives in a city and doesn't wish for the country life is super insane in my view..


I grew up in the country side... living in small towns / villages etc..   I hate the city... work / career demands my presence in the city.. right now i live in the most abhorrent city of Los Angles.. I absolutely hate it...   

I'm working on it... the day I can fly a huge middle finger to the city and move to a nice small village I'd be well pleased...   

one thing one must remember if abandoning a city for a small town / village... the anonymity that a city provides is lost.. so be careful / aware of your own behavior .. because you can't say get away with dating a girl and treating her badly because every girl in the area with be aware of what went down... you have to not be a **** living in the country because word will get about and you'll be stuck with the consequences...   

a ton of upsides... you can form meaningful friendships , enjoy a great sense of community but people are going to be aware of your business so you have to keep your nose clean and not f*ck up.   

[iri]

I lived in this city back in the day. Winters were a bit chilly, but otherwise, wasn't bad at all.

[tp4tissue]

one thing one must remember if abandoning a city for a small town / village... the anonymity that a city provides is lost.. so be careful / aware of your own behavior .. because you can't say get away with dating a girl and treating her badly because every girl in the area with be aware of what went down... you have to not be a **** living in the country because word will get about and you'll be stuck with the consequences...   

Wow, dating a girl and treating her badly is the first -to do- which comes to mind, when atarione gets some anonymity?

Hahahaha.. atrarione , ur a monster , hahahahaha.

[phinix]

anyone that lives in a city and doesn't wish for the country life is super insane in my view..


I grew up in the country side... living in small towns / villages etc..   I hate the city... work / career demands my presence in the city.. right now i live in the most abhorrent city of Los Angles.. I absolutely hate it...   

I'm working on it... the day I can fly a huge middle finger to the city and move to a nice small village I'd be well pleased...   

one thing one must remember if abandoning a city for a small town / village... the anonymity that a city provides is lost.. so be careful / aware of your own behavior .. because you can't say get away with dating a girl and treating her badly because every girl in the area with be aware of what went down... you have to not be a **** living in the country because word will get about and you'll be stuck with the consequences...   

a ton of upsides... you can form meaningful friendships , enjoy a great sense of community but people are going to be aware of your business so you have to keep your nose clean and not f*ck up.

Daim, dude, what did you do? 

[xtrafrood]

Oh golly, word gets around regardless of where a person lives

[tp4tissue]

Oh golly, word gets around regardless of where a person lives

Atrione = Stud,    but will treat badly ?

[noisyturtle]

Do we have any GH'ers from Mongolia?

[tp4tissue]

Do we have any GH'ers from Mongolia?

Yurt mode activate !!

[iMav]

You need to move to Valley City, ND (USA).  We can start a tech consulting firm together. 

[Leslieann]

Make sure the city is the problem, not the job, the people you are surrounded by or some other factor.

You can adapt to varying living conditions much easier than you think, but the people you are surrounded by can absolutely make you miserable.  I don’t necessarily mean urban vs rural, local culture can play a serious part in how happy you are.

[tp4tissue]

Make sure the city is the problem, not the job, the people you are surrounded by or some other factor.

You can adapt to varying living conditions much easier than you think, but the people you are surrounded by can absolutely make you miserable.  I don’t necessarily mean urban vs rural, local culture can play a serious part in how happy you are.

What if OTHER people, including in that (All People) is the problem... 

[xtrafrood]

Make sure the city is the problem, not the job, the people you are surrounded by or some other factor.

You can adapt to varying living conditions much easier than you think, but the people you are surrounded by can absolutely make you miserable.  I don’t necessarily mean urban vs rural, local culture can play a serious part in how happy you are.

What if OTHER people, including in that (All People) is the problem... 

Show Image

chmod 700

[Leslieann]

Make sure the city is the problem, not the job, the people you are surrounded by or some other factor.

You can adapt to varying living conditions much easier than you think, but the people you are surrounded by can absolutely make you miserable.  I don’t necessarily mean urban vs rural, local culture can play a serious part in how happy you are.

What if OTHER people, including in that (All People) is the problem... 

Then you move.
It's a hassle but not insurmountable, I've moved more than half way across the country multiple times and getting ready to do it again.

[noisyturtle]

Make sure the city is the problem, not the job, the people you are surrounded by or some other factor.

You can adapt to varying living conditions much easier than you think, but the people you are surrounded by can absolutely make you miserable.  I don’t necessarily mean urban vs rural, local culture can play a serious part in how happy you are.

What if OTHER people, including in that (All People) is the problem... 

Show Image

The dream is to have a house in the woods or mountains away from all people and isolated enough that it's a pain for anyone to come to where you are. The problem with that dream is all the work and conveniences are where people tend to cluster. You are giving up things like short commutes, things to do, and local conveniences for the luxury of quiet solitude and privacy. The way I see it is you need '**** you money' to realistically and comfortably live in a remote place.

[Leslieann]

The dream is to have a house in the woods or mountains away from all people and isolated enough that it's a pain for anyone to come to where you are. The problem with that dream is all the work and conveniences are where people tend to cluster. You are giving up things like short commutes, things to do, and local conveniences for the luxury of quiet solitude and privacy. The way I see it is you need '**** you money' to realistically and comfortably live in a remote place.

No good internet.. I'm out.
There are a lot of people still on dial-up and satellite.