Dating Apps

[noisyturtle]

I just started using Hinge on a coworker's suggestion. Last time I tried was on Tinder over 5 years ago, and I deleted my profile after 2 weeks of pure ****show.

Anyone else in their 20-30s use these things successfully for more than just hookups and finding local 'workers?'
Is it even possible to date normally anymore? 

This forum is probably the worst place to ask, but at least I know I'll get some answers from people likely equally as dating defunct as I am 

[CaesarAZealad]

[Darthbaggins]

The one I tried was Plenty of Fish, that was 8-9yrs ago, and that's how I met my wife - one of the rare instances where it worked out for someone.  There is a ton of trash on dating apps and gets tiring sifting through it.

[chyros]

I've had decent results with Tinder tbh.

[tp4tissue]

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The main hurdle isn't the initial ramp up, it's maintaining interest.

[noisyturtle]

Tinder seems to be the very worst one. Just a notch above Adult Friend Finder in terms of the bottom rung quality of animalistic horny meaningless bull****.

So far Hinge seems to be the most realistic in terms of relationship goals and matchmaking.

Have not tried Bumble or others yet.

I hate this, it sucks. I cannot be witty or sharp over text. They very process of texting means you linger on the words so long you inevitably put too many fingers in the pie and butcher whatever opener or joke you had. Talking face to face is the way to go for me, that's where I shine. I have no chance meeting anyone like this.

[chyros]

Tinder seems to be the very worst one. Just a notch above Adult Friend Finder in terms of the bottom rung quality of animalistic horny meaningless bull****.

So far Hinge seems to be the most realistic in terms of relationship goals and matchmaking.

Have not tried Bumble or others yet.

I hate this, it sucks. I cannot be witty or sharp over text. They very process of texting means you linger on the words so long you inevitably put too many fingers in the pie and butcher whatever opener or joke you had. Talking face to face is the way to go for me, that's where I shine. I have no chance meeting anyone like this.

Tip; just advertise that you'd like to meet physically as soon as possible. Works for me too. I'm not great over text either.

[TomahawkLabs]

I met my spouse at work. We worked in different departments but in tandem. Asked them out and the rest is history. I never had luck on dating apps. Good luck.

[mohawk1367]

i think its better to meet people in places where dating isnt the first priority, like chat rooms (way more viable back in the early days of the internet before they started getting spammed by onlyfans bots)

or just meet people IRL lol

[TomahawkLabs]

i think its better to meet people in places where dating isnt the first priority, like chat rooms (way more viable back in the early days of the internet before they started getting spammed by onlyfans bots)

or just meet people IRL lol

When the source of connection is finding a mate vs finding a friend it puts undue pressure on the situation that otherwise wouldn't be there. My spouse is 100% my best friend and I think the mindset should be shifted from "finding mate" to "finding a best friend" may offer a better starting platform. Best way to find friends is social events where the activity is the main focus. I did intermural volleyball with some coworkers who then would bring their friends to watch, so you meet more people in the process.

[noisyturtle]

So by this point I am coming up on nearly 20 years of being alone. Gone are my 20's, gone are my 30's, supposedly the prime time for finding love and getting laid. I honestly don't know how normal humans do it. Not a clue.

Something must be super wrong with me.
Sometimes I wish I could hire a scientist to just follow me around silently for a week taking notes, then deliver a presentation on everything I'm doing wrong/not doing.

[mohawk1367]

i think its better to meet people in places where dating isnt the first priority, like chat rooms (way more viable back in the early days of the internet before they started getting spammed by onlyfans bots)

or just meet people IRL lol

When the source of connection is finding a mate vs finding a friend it puts undue pressure on the situation that otherwise wouldn't be there. My spouse is 100% my best friend and I think the mindset should be shifted from "finding mate" to "finding a best friend" may offer a better starting platform. Best way to find friends is social events where the activity is the main focus. I did intermural volleyball with some coworkers who then would bring their friends to watch, so you meet more people in the process.

yeah this is pretty much what i mean. I think everyone knows what Tinder is *really* for... and its not marriage and fulfilling lifelong soulmates. if you try to find that on a platform where everyone is trying to  then thats the only thing you will find. i know like 2 people (both of which i dont know IRL) who are in good relationships from Tinder

[mohawk1367]

So by this point I am coming up on nearly 20 years of being alone. Gone are my 20's, gone are my 30's, supposedly the prime time for finding love and getting laid. I honestly don't know how normal humans do it. Not a clue.

Something must be super wrong with me.
Sometimes I wish I could hire a scientist to just follow me around silently for a week taking notes, then deliver a presentation on everything I'm doing wrong/not doing.

Are you diagnosed with anything that would affect you mentally/socially?

[TomahawkLabs]

So by this point I am coming up on nearly 20 years of being alone. Gone are my 20's, gone are my 30's, supposedly the prime time for finding love and getting laid. I honestly don't know how normal humans do it. Not a clue.

Something must be super wrong with me.
Sometimes I wish I could hire a scientist to just follow me around silently for a week taking notes, then deliver a presentation on everything I'm doing wrong/not doing.

Are you diagnosed with anything that would affect you mentally/socially?

I would also suggest looking into that. You are clearly self aware enough to know there is something off, but you lack the tools/understanding/etc to identify the root issue. More and more are adults being diagnosed with Autism who went their whole life feeling "different" or "weird" and never knowing how to cope and build the skills they need.

[noisyturtle]

So by this point I am coming up on nearly 20 years of being alone. Gone are my 20's, gone are my 30's, supposedly the prime time for finding love and getting laid. I honestly don't know how normal humans do it. Not a clue.

Something must be super wrong with me.
Sometimes I wish I could hire a scientist to just follow me around silently for a week taking notes, then deliver a presentation on everything I'm doing wrong/not doing.

Are you diagnosed with anything that would affect you mentally/socially?

Nah, that's why it ****s me up so bad. I've asked many people over the years, they always say I'm a catch and should 'put myself out there more', then I do that and nothing happens. Maybe they mean I need to date more? But that's the issue, so that advice makes no sense to me.
Life is just unfair. Some people are simply unlucky.

[mohawk1367]

So by this point I am coming up on nearly 20 years of being alone. Gone are my 20's, gone are my 30's, supposedly the prime time for finding love and getting laid. I honestly don't know how normal humans do it. Not a clue.

Something must be super wrong with me.
Sometimes I wish I could hire a scientist to just follow me around silently for a week taking notes, then deliver a presentation on everything I'm doing wrong/not doing.

Are you diagnosed with anything that would affect you mentally/socially?

Nah, that's why it ****s me up so bad. I've asked many people over the years, they always say I'm a catch and should 'put myself out there more', then I do that and nothing happens. Maybe they mean I need to date more? But that's the issue, so that advice makes no sense to me.
Life is just unfair. Some people are simply unlucky.

i feel like theres no way you dont have something that could be diagnosed if you feel you're that abnormal. i dont see how thats even possible if its affecting your life that much