Author Topic: Life Pro Tips Thread (Read 3677 times)

njbair · « **on:** Tue, 22 September 2015, 14:46:11 »

Share your life pro tips here!

njbair · « **Reply #1 on:** Tue, 22 September 2015, 14:47:04 »

I'll start.

EASY RANDOM STRING GENERATOR:

1. Place left side of head on left side of keyboard.
2. Rotate head.

SpAmRaY · « **Reply #2 on:** Tue, 22 September 2015, 14:47:18 »

Always wear socks you never know when you might not have toilet paper.

nubbinator · « **Reply #3 on:** Tue, 22 September 2015, 14:49:47 »

Always take a couple shots of vodka before a job interview. This makes you more relaxed and friendlier and the interviewers like that. If you're worried about the smell of alcohol on your breath, offer them a shot as well.

njbair · « **Reply #4 on:** Tue, 22 September 2015, 14:54:54 »

Tied your tie too short? Sweater vest!

digi · « **Reply #5 on:** Tue, 22 September 2015, 15:01:13 »

Make sure theres TP in the bathroom before droppin' a deuce.

nubbinator · « **Reply #6 on:** Tue, 22 September 2015, 15:02:08 »

Forgot a condom? A Ziploc bag will do in a pinch. Also, if you prefer going bareback, a mouthwash douche is a great alternative to the morning after pill and has the added benefits of a fantastic tingling feeling and leaving you feel minty fresh.

Lurch · « **Reply #7 on:** Tue, 22 September 2015, 15:02:56 »

If you drop a soldering iron, do not attempt to catch it.

digi · « **Reply #8 on:** Tue, 22 September 2015, 15:03:01 »

Mind as well lock the thread now, think we pretty much got it figured out!

nubbinator · « **Reply #9 on:** Tue, 22 September 2015, 15:06:07 »

Quote from: Lurch on Tue, 22 September 2015, 15:02:56

If you drop a soldering iron, do not attempt to catch it.

If you're in a pinch, soldering irons make for great curling irons.

If you have two soldering irons, they make great practice swords for your kids. If you turn them on, they have the added benefit of letting you definitively know when contact is made so you don't have to listen to your kids arguing about who got who.

azhdar · « **Reply #10 on:** Tue, 22 September 2015, 15:31:55 »

* When you're looking for a job, post a fake offer for similar job to see competition and adjust CV

* be terrible for little lies, people will think you can't lie. Lie on bigger thing

njbair · « **Reply #11 on:** Tue, 22 September 2015, 15:39:10 »

Family needs money but your life insurance policy has a suicide exemption? Suicide by cop!

tp4tissue · « **Reply #12 on:** Tue, 22 September 2015, 16:28:02 »

Quote from: njbair on Tue, 22 September 2015, 15:39:10

Family needs money but your life insurance policy has a suicide exemption? Suicide by cop!

Njbair, writer of Korean Dramas

HoffmanMyster · « **Reply #13 on:** Tue, 22 September 2015, 16:35:44 »

* geekhack does not approve of this thread or explicitly condone any behaviors discussed herein.

tp4tissue · « **Reply #14 on:** Tue, 22 September 2015, 16:48:53 »

Always have internet..

Always have a computer..

NEVER leave the house..

Always have a backup generator

Always have MULTIPLE backup generator

Always have Gasoline, or whatever you need to feed backup Generator.

Learn to hack satellites so you can stay online whenevers...

digi · « **Reply #15 on:** Tue, 22 September 2015, 16:51:32 »

Quote from: tp4tissue on Tue, 22 September 2015, 16:48:53

Always have internet..

Always have a computer..

NEVER leave the house..

Always have a backup generator

Always have MULTIPLE backup generator

Always have Gasoline, or whatever you need to feed backup Generator.

Learn to hack satellites so you can stay online whenevers...

LOL, yes, good information here.

Maybe add - stock up on groceries to reduce any possibility of having to leave home.

tp4tissue · « **Reply #16 on:** Tue, 22 September 2015, 16:56:20 »

Quote from: digi on Tue, 22 September 2015, 16:51:32

Quote from: tp4tissue on Tue, 22 September 2015, 16:48:53
Always have internet..

Always have a computer..

NEVER leave the house..

Always have a backup generator

Always have MULTIPLE backup generator

Always have Gasoline, or whatever you need to feed backup Generator.

Learn to hack satellites so you can stay online whenevers...

LOL, yes, good information here.

Maybe add - stock up on groceries to reduce any possibility of having to leave home.

Key ingredient, CANNED CORN.. Literally, the USA is like giving this stuff away, not to needy countries, but to itself @ your local food store..

You can get 6 cans sometimes for 25cents.

digi · « **Reply #17 on:** Tue, 22 September 2015, 17:17:33 »

Quote from: tp4tissue on Tue, 22 September 2015, 16:56:20

Quote from: digi on Tue, 22 September 2015, 16:51:32
Quote from: tp4tissue on Tue, 22 September 2015, 16:48:53
Always have internet..

Always have a computer..

NEVER leave the house..

Always have a backup generator

Always have MULTIPLE backup generator

Always have Gasoline, or whatever you need to feed backup Generator.

Learn to hack satellites so you can stay online whenevers...

LOL, yes, good information here.

Maybe add - stock up on groceries to reduce any possibility of having to leave home.

Key ingredient, CANNED CORN.. Literally, the USA is like giving this stuff away, not to needy countries, but to itself @ your local food store..

You can get 6 cans sometimes for 25cents.

Yea, it's 25 cents because it's literally pig food. Canned corn is disgusting but probably efficient at supplying nutrients while surfing the web.

njbair · « **Reply #18 on:** Tue, 22 September 2015, 23:55:25 »

Rice and corn each have incomplete amino acid chains, but together they form complete proteins.

This one is actually true BTW.

Melvang · « **Reply #19 on:** Wed, 23 September 2015, 00:04:56 »

Don't sweat the petty stuff, and don't pet the sweaty stuff.

Seriously though, if it is out of your control, don't worry about it. Just deal with it and move on.

sth · « **Reply #20 on:** Wed, 23 September 2015, 00:27:50 »

lpt: give me topre blanks

katushkin · « **Reply #21 on:** Wed, 23 September 2015, 00:35:38 »

People are stupid.

tp4tissue · « **Reply #22 on:** Wed, 23 September 2015, 05:37:06 »

Quote from: njbair on Tue, 22 September 2015, 23:55:25

Rice and corn each have incomplete amino acid chains, but together they form complete proteins.

This one is actually true BTW.

Problem is , rice goes bad, because it's not actually completely dry..

I wonder if they make dehydrated canned rice powder.. or maybe just canned wheat flour..

but.. u know,, rice for the gluten free crowd.

Jokrik · « **Reply #23 on:** Wed, 23 September 2015, 05:41:23 »

Quote from: katushkin on Wed, 23 September 2015, 00:35:38

People are stupid.

Okkkk...
People are not stupid, stupid people are stupid not people

Make love not hate

iri · « **Reply #24 on:** Wed, 23 September 2015, 05:48:44 »

If you are stressed and need to drive for long, drink some alcohol to relax.

henz · « **Reply #25 on:** Wed, 23 September 2015, 06:30:02 »

Drink alcohol and smoke weed

FreeCopy · « **Reply #26 on:** Wed, 23 September 2015, 06:58:50 »

Quote from: iri on Wed, 23 September 2015, 05:48:44

If you are stressed and need to drive for long, drink some alcohol to relax.

About 10 years ago I had a friend like this. He would show up at my place(~40min drive) with a 6-pack minus two and a nearly empty beer in his other hand.

I'd all ask him, "what the hell is this ****?!"

"Well, It's a long drive. I gotta do something to pass the time."

He would drive out to my place and hang out for up to 30mins, then suddenly stand up and exclaim, "Welp! I'm outta here!" and walk out the door.

He finally stopped that stupid **** and was luckily able to avoid accidents during those days. Did finally pick up that DUI though. haha.

Pro tips:

Play with matches. It can be just as exciting as the news depicts.

Quote from: henz on Wed, 23 September 2015, 06:30:02

Drink alcohol and smoke weed

At the same time in large quantities for best results.

Lurch · « **Reply #27 on:** Wed, 23 September 2015, 08:27:31 »

Stay hydrated.

swimmingbird · « **Reply #28 on:** Wed, 23 September 2015, 08:49:43 »

when you're cold in winter put your head in the oven as you lose 90% of heat from your head

iri · « **Reply #29 on:** Wed, 23 September 2015, 10:38:50 »

my best advice to young people

livingspeedbump · « **Reply #30 on:** Wed, 23 September 2015, 10:56:43 »

Quote from: SpAmRaY on Tue, 22 September 2015, 14:47:18

Always wear socks you never know when you might not have toilet paper.

Hahahahahhaha. I live this. Brilliant.

Binge · « **Reply #31 on:** Wed, 23 September 2015, 11:12:03 »

If you feel sick in the car, put ice packs (cubes in plastic wrap if on a budget) in your pants.

The sensation will calm your body and relieve motion sickness.

Alternatively this method is great for clearing your head on awkward dates, job interviews, and weddings!

jerue · « **Reply #32 on:** Wed, 23 September 2015, 13:14:33 »

Just watch Nick Offerman's American Ham and revel in the glory of the best life advice ever.

Spoilers if you don't have Netflix:

More

1. Engage in romantic love
2. Say “please” and “thank you”
3. Carry a hanky
4. Eat red meat
5. Get a hobby
6. Go outside
7. Don’t look in the mirror. Avoid the mirror.
8. Maintain a relationship with Jesus Christ if it’s getting you sex
9. Use intoxicants
10. Paddle your own canoe

/thread

digi · « **Reply #33 on:** Wed, 23 September 2015, 13:23:25 »

Life Pro Tip - Think for yourself.

swimmingbird · « **Reply #34 on:** Wed, 23 September 2015, 16:48:38 »

Quote from: Binge on Wed, 23 September 2015, 11:12:03

If you feel sick in the car, put ice packs (cubes in plastic wrap if on a budget) in your pants.

The sensation will calm your body and relieve motion sickness.

Alternatively this method is great for clearing your head on awkward dates, job interviews, and weddings!

l

Not sure if serious but sort of want to try this now

njbair · « **Reply #35 on:** Wed, 23 September 2015, 21:14:58 »

If you're committing a crime, call in a phony major crime on the other side of town first. This will put the cops as far away from you as possible.

azhdar · « **Reply #36 on:** Thu, 24 September 2015, 01:16:16 »

Quote from: digi on Wed, 23 September 2015, 13:23:25

Life Pro Tip - Think for yourself.

To add to that, it's not because media and school told/learn you something that it is necessary true.

baldgye · « **Reply #37 on:** Thu, 24 September 2015, 04:25:15 »

If you work in a small-ish office and you need a big poo, when you go to the toilet gently place some folded up toilet paper in the toilet to break its fall and mitigate the 'shock and awe'.

azhdar · « **Reply #38 on:** Thu, 24 September 2015, 04:27:23 »

Quote from: baldgye on Thu, 24 September 2015, 04:25:15

If you work in a small-ish office and you need a big poo, when you go to the toilet gently place some folded up toilet paper in the toilet to break its fall and mitigate the 'shock and awe'.

Or stand on the bowl to poop, let all the office hear the almighty turd you released, and scream victory.

swimmingbird · « **Reply #39 on:** Thu, 24 September 2015, 04:29:53 »

Quote from: azhdar on Thu, 24 September 2015, 04:27:23

Quote from: baldgye on Thu, 24 September 2015, 04:25:15
If you work in a small-ish office and you need a big poo, when you go to the toilet gently place some folded up toilet paper in the toilet to break its fall and mitigate the 'shock and awe'.

Or stand on the bowl to poop, let all the office hear the almighty turd you released, and scream victory.

I approve of this

vivalarevolución · « **Reply #40 on:** Thu, 24 September 2015, 05:46:00 »

Don't take any advice in this thread.

tp4tissue · « **Reply #41 on:** Thu, 24 September 2015, 05:47:52 »

Quote from: vivalarevolución on Thu, 24 September 2015, 05:46:00

Don't take any advice in this thread.

except the things said about corn..

Seriously ,, YOU NEED CORN

iri · « **Reply #42 on:** Thu, 24 September 2015, 05:52:57 »

Quote from: baldgye on Thu, 24 September 2015, 04:25:15

If you work in a small-ish office and you need a big poo,

squat on the toilet seat. It is a much more efficient posture for defecating than just sitting.

News:

Author Topic: Life Pro Tips Thread (Read 3677 times)