How to get from where I am to finding my purpose and doing what I love? Because I honestly have no idea where to even start.
Also how to make friends??
1.
http://www.findyourthingbook.com/2. Be friendly.
On a more serious note, I think TP is incorrect.
I have found myself being frustrated with my life as it stands, with the feeling that something needs to change. I've kind of always been trying to find my "thing" and have a pretty good idea of what it is, but no idea of how to turn it into a living. I think I'm slowly starting to see a possible path to get there, though. It's still going to require doing things that I don't particularly like, even when I've "arrived", but the ratio of stuff that gives me satisfaction doing vs "sucky" stuff that I just have to do will be much higher than in my current work / home life.
It will involve starting a company, which I never really seriously considered before since I've never considered myself good with finance, marketing, sales, logistics, etc. Personally, I think I'm much more of an inventor / designer / prototyper, but in order to have the freedom to make my own ideas into products and get them to the people that want / need them I have to create the infrastructure to support it. So I have taken an entrepreneurship course, read "The Personal MBA", got to know import / export and tax laws and learnt about online selling and international transactions (since my initial products are most likely too "niche" to get enough sales only in Finland). Also watching interviews with Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, etc. It's taking big chunks of my precious free time, but I think it'll pay off in the end.
Your "thing" may not require this level of risk or commitment, though. Could just mean going back to college, learning a new trade / skill or discovering that you're already in the right job / industry. IMHO, it's very healthy to re-evaluate every few years if you're satisfied with the direction you're heading in professionally and make adjustments accordingly (realistically, too, though. In certain markets at certain times, just having a job at all is better than quitting because it doesn't quite match your "direction").
In the book I link to above, the concept of your "thing" is quite well defined (that thing you do well / easily / happily, that others can't or find difficult or tedious) and the book has pretty good advice on how to find out what it is. Often the people around you already know it more clearly than you do. As in: "I always ask SpAmRaY to do xxx for me, 'cos he's just a boss at doing that, I suck compared to him and he doesn't seem to mind". If you do something well, enjoy doing it and others are willing to pay you to do it, that's a pretty good way to make a living.
I made the mistake of allowing myself to get slotted into a job that I do reasonably well, but don't particularly enjoy. It only partially overlaps my skillset and doesn't overlap my interests. In my case, my ideal job doesn't exist, so I have to create it. Fortunately for many people, their "thing" matches an existing job / career path, but they still have to find the right company / people to work with. Also "ideal" is a bit simplistic, there are usually a range of jobs / tasks that are sub-"things" of your main thing and are quite acceptable, at least for a while.
And in the end it's also important to recognise that while external influences can help / hinder this, ultimately you're responsible for your own happiness. I think you know this already, that the internal is more powerful than the external and you can be "happy" in any circumstance, but it certainly helps if you're doing something that at least feels like the thing you are meant to be doing, what you specifically were made to be doing right now where you are. In other words, being more "completely" yourself.
In my own mind I have a "superhero" analogy for this: What makes any superhero special? It's their unique abilities and the way they use them. Everyone has unique abilities. Therefore everyone is a potential superhero. you just have to find your abilities and use them the right way.
Actually, I think I can summarise the answers for both your questions into:
1. Be yourself.
2. Be yourself.
Good luck and Godspeed on your quest, super-SpAmRaY!
