Welcome to geekhack.
To answer your question, you've already tried MX blues which have an actuation force of around 50cN and a peak force around 60cN. So one of the questions you need to ask is, should I go lighter or heaver? Since you know that the "click" isn't going to appease your significant other, clicky is out, tactile and linear force are in. Since you're a gamer, linear is probably more your style. Linear is like a straight through push vs tactile which offers resistance mid stroke (much like cherry blues). MX Brown is closer to your blues but without the click. I like MX brown, but they're so boring compared to the blues.
If you like a heavier feel then go MX Black 60cN if you want a lighter feel MX Red 45cN.
Topre switches are tactile in nature, but the key stroke is very smooth. This resistance changes depending on your key weight. Variable is a unique beast that has a love/hate relationship but is a good typing board. If you want a more uniform feel Realforce does come in different 30g/45g/55g keyweights, some of these are hard to come by though depending on location and availability.
And if you're set on a 45g key weight (close to MX Red) consider a Realforce or HHKB Pro ("not" Lite).
Lastly with sound being an issue. You can lower the sound when the keys bottom out by adding o-rings or foam dampers to a cherry switch, or foam dampers to Topre. Realforce and HHKB do sell "silent" models that already have these included, so that's something to consider.
Any of these options will put a nice dent in your wallet, but that's the price you pay for a great input device.