Most calories Per CAN Competition

[tp4tissue]

Brain is much much fattier than those though. Maybe if you mixed the tofu 50/50 with jdcarpe's can of manteca before making your custard you could get a bit closer.

mm... if you smudge the tofu, then it loses the custurd like property, and will just be watery.. and it may not mix with lard unless at cold temperatures because of all the water..

and cold tofu + lard.. idk... my trained sensibilities say this will end badly..  but My Tp4-ness says, fvk it, let's do this...

[ConscienceDrop]

you cant eat a whole thing of lard/butter/ultra high fat content in one go.

people who do high fat eating challenges get diarrhea within an hour, and you basically sit on the toilet and oil drips out of your ass until you learn your lesson and your body is done flushing calories it literally cant deal with

IMO that disqualifies it. but some might disagree. IMO it should be something you can actually eat and keep down/inside you while it runs its natural course

[noisyturtle]

I wonder if the calories in human waste varies depending on what they ate, or does the body absorb most of that leaving all poop pretty much the same?

[ConscienceDrop]

really depends. your body is going to try and extract as much as it possibly can from what you eat before you poop, so what you flush will vary on how anabolic you are, how much you ate at the same time and probably everyone is different.

if you are eating very little you will probably absorb most of the nutrients. but if you drink a whole bottle of olive oil it will be so much that your body cant even process it all and you will end up ****ting out essentially intact olive oil presumably with all its calories intact. 

[Bromono]

Does a MRE count? Crap has about 2500 calories in that pouch.

If I never have to eat another MRE, it will be to soon.

[engicoder]

Mmm, pig's brains and scrambled eggs for breakfast and a cow tongue sandwich for lunch and livers and onions for supper.. "Southern Living"

Where are your collards?

[smknjoe]

Greens (I prefer turnip or mustard), cornbread (WITHOUT SUGAR YANKEES!), and grits go without saying.

[jdcarpe]

really depends. your body is going to try and extract as much as it possibly can from what you eat before you poop, so what you flush will vary on how anabolic you are, how much you ate at the same time and probably everyone is different.

if you are eating very little you will probably absorb most of the nutrients. but if you drink a whole bottle of olive oil it will be so much that your body cant even process it all and you will end up ****ting out essentially intact olive oil presumably with all its calories intact. 

Then you could at least burn your poop to keep warm. That's a smelly fire, though.


It's probably better to consume the lard a little at a time. Eat a big spoonful of it, let that settle, then eat another spoonful some time later when you need more calories.

[tp4tissue]

really depends. your body is going to try and extract as much as it possibly can from what you eat before you poop, so what you flush will vary on how anabolic you are, how much you ate at the same time and probably everyone is different.

if you are eating very little you will probably absorb most of the nutrients. but if you drink a whole bottle of olive oil it will be so much that your body cant even process it all and you will end up ****ting out essentially intact olive oil presumably with all its calories intact. 

Then you could at least burn your poop to keep warm. That's a smelly fire, though.


It's probably better to consume the lard a little at a time. Eat a big spoonful of it, let that settle, then eat another spoonful some time later when you need more calories.

Thx captn obvious..