Author Topic: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories  (Read 2797 times)

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Offline badcop

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IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 13:25:30 »
Share your worst, messed up, weird IT stories.  I know I can't be the only one with them.

Year: 2011

I'm working for a company that deploys laptops for a company's sales team throughout the country.  We store, configure, repair their  hardware in our one location.  We get a box in and inside is a laptop covered in some strange substance.  The letter inside stated that the person who was using the laptop had it charging in the front seat of their car when they got into a fatal car accident and their significant other was returning the laptop under request from the company.  the laptop was smashed up, covered in blood and brain matter.  :thumb:
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Offline SpAmRaY

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #1 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 13:28:58 »
I was going to post something but I got nothing in comparison to blood and brain matter. :eek:

Offline boost

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #2 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 13:29:48 »
as/400...When you don't know the system.
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Offline esoomenona

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #3 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 13:32:48 »
Being a Windows user and knowing the definition of IT, I feel obligated to answer this.

Offline JPG

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #4 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 13:37:15 »
A few years ago, I got a call from a client. He was saying he had a problem with one of his HL7 interface (communication standard in the health industry). So basically, he was saying that a part of the communication was not working randomly. But the thing is that the feature he said was in problem was not yet installed at this client (it was still beta and only in 1 place).

So I tell the client that it's impossible that this thing is failing because it's just not installed. But client was convinced there was a problem, so I am polite and continue asking questions. So I ask him if it's totally random or if it happens at a specific hour. Then he tells me it often happens during lunch time.

So, having a good idea of what the problem was, I ask him to go ask if, by any possibility, a clerk would be doing the exact same thing this interface is supposed to do, but manually.

A few hours later, the client call me back, and confirm me that the "interface" was down when it was on lunch break!
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Offline i3oilermaker

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #5 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 13:46:10 »
I don't know if this is the worst as much as the funniest (and keyboard related)

Back in the day I was working the help desk for a large company.  A lot of the calls were passwords forgotten, locked out, or expired.  This one person calls (I don't know what but I feel obligated to mention it was a female) and she was unable to log into her computer.  I went through the usual checks to make sure she was a valid user with a valid account - everything looked fine.  So I reset her password.  She tried to log in and said it still didn't work.  I was a bit perplexed as that has never happened before after resetting the password.  I had her try a again and again, with no luck.  I then remoted into her PC and attempted to log in.  Bingo - works perfect.  So that got me thinking, as weird as it sounds, something must be wrong with her keyboard.  As a last ditch, I asked her to read off the bottom row of her keyboard. "Z X C V B M N"  .... WRONG the it goes N M not M N.  She then started screaming "I KNOW WHO DID THIS!!! I'M GOING TO GET THEM BACK!!!!!"

Morale of the story?  If you hunt and peck, yous gunna get punked.

Offline mr. rampage

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #6 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 13:47:17 »
wow... blood & brain matter.. I think you win.

I had to assess the use of off shore programmers at my last company. I assigned them a simple task to build a basic HTML page with 1 text box right justified. What I get back still blows my mind today. They made 7 text boxes with white borders to push 1 regular text box to right side of the screen. As logic would dictate, my boss ends up hiring these off shore consultants and I get laid off.

Offline badcop

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #7 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 13:51:18 »
I don't know if this is the worst as much as the funniest (and keyboard related)

Back in the day I was working the help desk for a large company.  A lot of the calls were passwords forgotten, locked out, or expired.  This one person calls (I don't know what but I feel obligated to mention it was a female) and she was unable to log into her computer.  I went through the usual checks to make sure she was a valid user with a valid account - everything looked fine.  So I reset her password.  She tried to log in and said it still didn't work.  I was a bit perplexed as that has never happened before after resetting the password.  I had her try a again and again, with no luck.  I then remoted into her PC and attempted to log in.  Bingo - works perfect.  So that got me thinking, as weird as it sounds, something must be wrong with her keyboard.  As a last ditch, I asked her to read off the bottom row of her keyboard. "Z X C V B M N"  .... WRONG the it goes N M not M N.  She then started screaming "I KNOW WHO DID THIS!!! I'M GOING TO GET THEM BACK!!!!!"

Morale of the story?  If you hunt and peck, yous gunna get punked.

bahaha i did this to the new guy at work.  its so subtle, we (probably) wouldn't even notice it.  he typed out some huge 4 page long email with all m and n reversed.  it was so satisfying.
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Offline badcop

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #8 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 13:52:07 »
wow... blood & brain matter.. I think you win.

I had to assess the use of off shore programmers at my last company. I assigned them a simple task to build a basic HTML page with 1 text box right justified. What I get back still blows my mind today. They made 7 text boxes with white borders to push 1 regular text box to right side of the screen. As logic would dictate, my boss ends up hiring these off shore consultants and I get laid off.

its because they can hire them for .30 an hour.  who cares if it takes 10 of them to do your job, its still cheaper.
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Offline kenmai9

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #9 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 13:56:12 »
wow... blood & brain matter.. I think you win.

I had to assess the use of off shore programmers at my last company. I assigned them a simple task to build a basic HTML page with 1 text box right justified. What I get back still blows my mind today. They made 7 text boxes with white borders to push 1 regular text box to right side of the screen. As logic would dictate, my boss ends up hiring these off shore consultants and I get laid off.

its because they can hire them for .30 an hour.  who cares if it takes 10 of them to do your job, its still cheaper.

Anyone who wants quality programming?

Offline mr. rampage

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #10 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 14:00:00 »
its because they can hire them for .30 an hour.  who cares if it takes 10 of them to do your job, its still cheaper.

Yeah, I was laughing a few months ago because this company was on the news. They outsourced way too much causing a ton of unemployment. Since they were a national organization and somewhat tied to the government, they got a ton of flak from the government and the people.... let alone allowing tons of personal private information to reside in a foreign country. It was pretty hilarious. Still they made 2 billion in a single quarter, so I guess money trumps quality.

Offline Tym

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #11 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 14:27:02 »
I like that story  of the bloke who outsourced his job to china and spent the whole day surfing the Internet and watching youtube.

I also like this story although Its old and "Legit"

Quote
Actual dialogue of a former Word for Windows Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: 'Computerperformance assistance; may I help you?' Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word for Windows.'

Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'

Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'

Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'

Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'

Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

Operator: 'Are you still in Word for Windows, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'

Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'

Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'


 ∞

Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'

Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'

Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'

Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window'.

Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'

Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power cut.'

Operator: 'A power......... A power cut? Aha, Okay, We've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the attic.'

Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the shop you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'

Operator: 'Tell them you're too ****ing stupid to own a computer!'
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Offline uzoc

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #12 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 14:30:21 »
Back in the days...
Working for this consulting company, they sent me to this doctors office he had 3-4 computers networked and just wanted to upgrade the memory.
Didn't have to research what memory or anything the guy had the memory and had talked it and bought with my companies consent.
When I get there the computers were ancient! Even by over a decade ago they were very old, he had Win 98 and ME and maybe a Win 2000 (had like 512MB upgrading to 2GB).
I was like OK, no problem it's just a memory upgrade.
Make sure that the computer shuts down and disconnect the power cable and open the case and swap out/upgrade...
OK, done, restart the computer... nothing. Check power, good. Put old memory in, try again... nothing...
Goes without saying, I did not ground myself, computer got zapped, dead computer!.
They did not give me time to troubleshoot anymore...
I could not get fired (I was consulting) so they just stopped giving me work.
Moral of the story: Ground yourself (SPECIALLY if working with OLD computers).

Offline uzoc

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #13 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 14:33:48 »
as/400...When you don't know the system.

True, I dreamt once, being in front of one and trying to fake troubleshoot it!

Offline funkymeeba

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #14 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 14:35:49 »
Worst story:

I went to work.
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Offline Computer-Lab in Basement

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #15 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 14:54:24 »
This is by no means a glorious story, but it's worth a share...

Yesterday I proved that I am smarter than half the IT department at my new workplace.  It took them three attempts to connect my laptop to the WiFi.  If I had admin privileges, it would have only taken me one...

Oh, and this:

Boss: "That keyboard sounds like a typewriter."
IT Guy: "It must be mechanical. Cherry switches?"
Me: "Cherry Blues."
IT Guy: "Nice. I have a Razer Black Widow with Browns."

One of those moments when you're like "oh cool, another keyboard geek" but then you're like "oh wait, it's just a Black Widow..."
« Last Edit: Wed, 04 September 2013, 15:09:14 by Computer-Lab in Basement »
tp thread is tp thread
Sometimes it's like he accidentally makes a thread instead of a google search.

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Offline microsoft windows

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #16 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 15:15:21 »
I GOT A CALL THE OTHER DAY FROM A  LADY AT THE SCHOOL SYSTEM WHERE I WORK. SHE CALLED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE NEW COPIERS, AND HOW SHE COULDN'T "ZEROX" THINGS WITH THE CANON COPY MACHINES.
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Offline badcop

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #17 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 15:33:44 »
I have another one. The one guy sends his laptop in to be fixed and on desktop was a folder with someone woman's first name and the guys last name so one can only assume its his wife, sister or daughter. Either way it was filled with naked pictures of a woman. Keep in mind, this was his work computer. The manager gets wind of it and reports the guy and he ended up getting fired.

Another short one was one guy got called into a VPs office and was told to bring his laptop. The vp hands him a DVD with a PowerPoint on it to review. So the guy pops open his DVD drive and out comes a porno. Again... Fired.

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Offline SpAmRaY

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #18 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 15:36:20 »
^^ On that note, people seem to not realize when you ask them to help with problems on their computer and they have never, ever deleted their IE temporary files that all those cookies left behind often highlight some not so glamorous internet browsing.....the VP had been to some really weird places....I politely deleted his temp files for him......

Offline thebeargentile

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #19 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 15:42:34 »
It never ceases to amaze me how poorly some people take care of their things, and then play it off like it's not their fault.  Years back, when I worked retail, I had a customer try to return a desktop computer that she had for a year because it "stopped working."  Opened it up, it was coated in so much nicotine and dirt that the PSU fan couldn't spin any more, and there were two dead roaches stuck between the blades of the northbridge heat sink.  She demanded that it considered normal wear and tear. 

A couple years later, had a student walk up with a "defective" computer, who looked guilty as hell.  Before I would take the computer, I asked him what was up, and he ended up admitting that he *might have* spilled something on it.  I pressed a little further, and it turns out by "spilled" he means that he got drunk and "accidentally" pissed all over his laptop.  Classy.

Offline badcop

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #20 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 15:47:10 »

^^ On that note, people seem to not realize when you ask them to help with problems on their computer and they have never, ever deleted their IE temporary files that all those cookies left behind often highlight some not so glamorous internet browsing.....the VP had been to some really weird places....I politely deleted his temp files for him......

You can learn so much about your relatives by spending a few seconds in their browsing history. lol
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Offline SpAmRaY

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #21 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 15:51:24 »

^^ On that note, people seem to not realize when you ask them to help with problems on their computer and they have never, ever deleted their IE temporary files that all those cookies left behind often highlight some not so glamorous internet browsing.....the VP had been to some really weird places....I politely deleted his temp files for him......

You can learn so much about your relatives by spending a few seconds in their browsing history. lol

What's really fun is when you have people over and later check the logs in your router.....

Offline tp4tissue

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Re: IT People - Share Your Worst Stories
« Reply #22 on: Wed, 04 September 2013, 16:52:42 »

^^ On that note, people seem to not realize when you ask them to help with problems on their computer and they have never, ever deleted their IE temporary files that all those cookies left behind often highlight some not so glamorous internet browsing.....the VP had been to some really weird places....I politely deleted his temp files for him......

You can learn so much about your relatives by spending a few seconds in their browsing history. lol

What's really fun is when you have people over and later check the logs in your router.....

this is why I turn logging off on my router