Drunk biking.

[tp4tissue]

/TP4  Long Storie

Ok..  So, I went out to get a hair cut this morning, one of those cool ones...

Then I went to get my ID done..

Then I pseudo went to work..

Then I went drinking with the people I pseudo work with....


Middle of the dinner, someone said, they wanted to eat snakes and bear claws..

I'm like.. dude, that's illegal...  this chick calls me a square, (呆板),  I really wanted to sleep with her...

So... I decided, freaking.. I'll call my driver and have him take me to that place in the _middle-of-no-where_  where all the corrupt government people go to celebrate their corruptness..


Of course cuz I was the square, i got to foot the bill...  I'm quite ok with this,  UNTIL the snakes and bear gets onto the table..  And I'm like... I really really don't want to eat this....


So, I make up an excuse that I had some documents to {overnight}...  payed at the front, and went outside.


****,  my driver already left and went home, cuz I told him I'd probably be at that girl's place...


So.... I was like, crap, if I stood out here any longer, someone is going to come out and have a smoke and see me, And I'd have to go back inside to go eat some snake-gall-bladder...


So.. there was this bike chained to this tree....  and I'm like **** it...  so I slammed the chain, it broke some of the spokes, but the wheel's fine..


And... I started to bike in towards the city...   



FFFFFFFFFF.... there's a police check point...    I was still deciding what to do at this point, because I know this bike can't handle the bushy area off the road...


But, Because I was too damn drunk, i kept biking forward, and was stopped at the checkpoint..


At first they thought I was a drug mule or something..  so they sent the dog on me.. clean.. so I thought home free...

but Nooooo....   This fat ugly officer guy was like... [年轻人]  what are you doing out so late...

I'm clearly too tired and drunk to answer at this point.. so I said.. hang on.. Let me call your boss...


I called my cousin who's part of -that-system- and he called my uncle, and my aunt then called the people that needed to be called to get me off the hook..


The cop drove me home and I handed him some money.



Point is...  Don't be stupid...   eat snakes...

[cphead]

10/10 would read again to pass time at work. Also, this story is so 中国 .. where does it take place?

[Lurch]

I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

[tp4tissue]

10/10 would read again to pass time at work. Also, this story is so 中国 .. where does it take place?

I got a few more stories, since I spent 2 months here a month back, and now I've been back here again for almost another month.


but those stories are less appropriate.. so I'll leave it to your imagination..

[tp4tissue]

I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

I got drunk, stole a bike, cop seizes me for peculiar-actions, I get doug-ed, I go home..


/short version..

It was still pretty fun.. but my legs are really sore.. i have no idea how long I biked..  I might look at the map tomorrow.

[osi]

lulz

[dorkvader]

So my friends dragged me to this stupid place to eat food, and I had to bike all the way there. I lock up my bike nice and tight. When we're done, I find that some guy has stolen it. Who steals a bike? I hope the police stop him on his way home.

(just kidding)

I'm like.. dude, that's illegal...  this chick calls me a square, (呆板),  I really wanted to sleep with her...

So... I decided, freaking.. I'll call my driver and have him take me to that place in the _middle-of-no-where_  where all the corrupt government people go to celebrate their corruptness..

I love the way you phrase things.

This was an awesome story, but a little sad, as there was much corrupt police officers involved.

What did you do with the bike?

[tp4tissue]

So my friends dragged me to this stupid place to eat food, and I had to bike all the way there. I lock up my bike nice and tight. When we're done, I find that some guy has stolen it. Who steals a bike? I hope the police stop him on his way home.

(just kidding)

I'm like.. dude, that's illegal...  this chick calls me a square, (呆板),  I really wanted to sleep with her...

So... I decided, freaking.. I'll call my driver and have him take me to that place in the _middle-of-no-where_  where all the corrupt government people go to celebrate their corruptness..

I love the way you phrase things.

This was an awesome story, but a little sad, as there was much corrupt police officers involved.

What did you do with the bike?

LOLOLOL..


you're right .. .Now I feel bad...



it's not an expensive bike.. it probably belonged to some farm-girl/boy that lived around there and works at the restaurant..

sigh.........


damn you DV... why you bring -ethics- into this...  I'm a sucker for ethics..



I'll call the place and send the person a new bike tomorrow..

[dorkvader]

it's not an expensive bike.. it probably belonged to some farm-girl/boy that lived around there and works at the restaurant..

Oh man that story is even sadder.

Dear family. Thanks for the bike you saved up for to get me. I can now get to work very easily. I made sure it was locked properly, but somebody broke the lock and stole it. Walking home, I thought about how many months it'd be until I can get a new one.

What's worse, some guys were being loud and made me cook up a snake.

sigh.........


damn you DV... why you bring -ethics- into this...  I'm a sucker for ethics..



I'll call the place and send the person a new bike tomorrow..

Show Image

I didn't bring up ethics, you did. I just hinted around the issue and then wiggled my eyebrows suggestively in it's direction. But I'm glad you responded well! I see that image and I think: "TP4! Man on a mission!"

Also, I hear chicks dig honourable stuff, so maybe you can still date that girl or whatever.

I'll have to ask Dad if he's had snake and what it tasted like. 'Can't be that bad or people wouldn't eat it' <- famous last words.

[osi]

So my friends dragged me to this stupid place to eat food, and I had to bike all the way there. I lock up my bike nice and tight. When we're done, I find that some guy has stolen it. Who steals a bike? I hope the police stop him on his way home.

(just kidding)

I'm like.. dude, that's illegal...  this chick calls me a square, (呆板),  I really wanted to sleep with her...

So... I decided, freaking.. I'll call my driver and have him take me to that place in the _middle-of-no-where_  where all the corrupt government people go to celebrate their corruptness..

I love the way you phrase things.

This was an awesome story, but a little sad, as there was much corrupt police officers involved.

What did you do with the bike?

LOLOLOL..


you're right .. .Now I feel bad...



it's not an expensive bike.. it probably belonged to some farm-girl/boy that lived around there and works at the restaurant..

sigh.........


damn you DV... why you bring -ethics- into this...  I'm a sucker for ethics..



I'll call the place and send the person a new bike tomorrow..

Show Image

Why not take back the original bike and drop it off? The owner may be none-the-wiser.

Maybe get the spoke repaired if you really want to :D

[Findecanor]

The real point of the story is: If you are going to be drunk and stupid in China, have connections and tip the cops generously.

I already knew that ...

[tp4tissue]

So my friends dragged me to this stupid place to eat food, and I had to bike all the way there. I lock up my bike nice and tight. When we're done, I find that some guy has stolen it. Who steals a bike? I hope the police stop him on his way home.

(just kidding)

I'm like.. dude, that's illegal...  this chick calls me a square, (呆板),  I really wanted to sleep with her...

So... I decided, freaking.. I'll call my driver and have him take me to that place in the _middle-of-no-where_  where all the corrupt government people go to celebrate their corruptness..

I love the way you phrase things.

This was an awesome story, but a little sad, as there was much corrupt police officers involved.

What did you do with the bike?

LOLOLOL..


you're right .. .Now I feel bad...



it's not an expensive bike.. it probably belonged to some farm-girl/boy that lived around there and works at the restaurant..

sigh.........


damn you DV... why you bring -ethics- into this...  I'm a sucker for ethics..



I'll call the place and send the person a new bike tomorrow..

Show Image

Why not take back the original bike and drop it off? The owner may be none-the-wiser.

Maybe get the spoke repaired if you really want to :D

I have no clue where the bike is.. last I saw it was at the check point.. they probably threw it out..




@DV..

I've decided that female's bad for me, and has already landed me this much hassle in a very short time..

it's really Not as bad as my written abstraction of the events would lead you to believe hahahaha.. That area isn't exceptionally impoverished, it's not a hick-valley type place.. it's just on the outskirts a bit...

probably 95% of the farm girls/boys around cities do not farm anymore, they all pick up jobs in the city.

boys, typically manual labor, girls, well, manual labor too, but there's quite the influx of special services, at least by the statistics I've been handed...


there was a crackdown on the premiere special services territory a while back.. so that lead to a boom in Other areas.. specifically where I am currently,   it has become the unofficial New Capitol of the-sort.. 

so much so, that you can't go to bars anymore.. too much soliciting...

the expensive ones are a little better and behaved, but it's still a nightmare imho,  Don't ever bring your wallet in, always pay at the entrance with someone who's still sober watching+counting..

[tp4tissue]

The real point of the story is: If you are going to be drunk and stupid in China, have connections and tip the cops generously.

I already knew that ...

No...? I already said at the end of the OP... just man up and eat what's on the table,  to prevent stupid things in the first place..  )

[Novus]

草泥马

[dorkvader]

草泥马

google translate says "mud horse".

[dustinhxc]

Whoa.. That was a very cool read man. Felt like I was watching a movie. Since I'm in US, that all sounded very unique to me and was not expecting any of it. Very cool story. Snakes? Whoa!

[tp4tissue]

Whoa.. That was a very cool read man. Felt like I was watching a movie. Since I'm in US, that all sounded very unique to me and was not expecting any of it. Very cool story. Snakes? Whoa!

China operates under very different laws in practice due to a severe lack of enforcement personnel..  So, while the written rules are strict,  they must leave a very large overhead to smooth out typical police to public interactions, because if they went and processed every damn thing,  they'd be overwhelmed with years and years of paperwork.

Justice is NEVER and has NEVER been swift...


So, when it comes to Freeedom, and they say, communism is oppression, while there exist an element of that position which increases class gap,   at least in China itself,  individual freedom on a whole is rarely processed by said authorities.. so  OVERALL,  China is significantly more free than our beloved democracy.

[Novus]

Whoa.. That was a very cool read man. Felt like I was watching a movie. Since I'm in US, that all sounded very unique to me and was not expecting any of it. Very cool story. Snakes? Whoa!

China operates under very different laws in practice due to a severe lack of enforcement personnel..  So, while the written rules are strict,  they must leave a very large overhead to smooth out typical police to public interactions, because if they went and processed every damn thing,  they'd be overwhelmed with years and years of paperwork.

Justice is NEVER and has NEVER been swift...


So, when it comes to Freeedom, and they say, communism is oppression, while there exist an element of that position which increases class gap,   at least in China itself,  individual freedom on a whole is rarely processed by said authorities.. so  OVERALL,  China is significantly more free than our beloved democracy.

法克鱿
这不是自由

[tp4tissue]

Whoa.. That was a very cool read man. Felt like I was watching a movie. Since I'm in US, that all sounded very unique to me and was not expecting any of it. Very cool story. Snakes? Whoa!

China operates under very different laws in practice due to a severe lack of enforcement personnel..  So, while the written rules are strict,  they must leave a very large overhead to smooth out typical police to public interactions, because if they went and processed every damn thing,  they'd be overwhelmed with years and years of paperwork.

Justice is NEVER and has NEVER been swift...


So, when it comes to Freeedom, and they say, communism is oppression, while there exist an element of that position which increases class gap,   at least in China itself,  individual freedom on a whole is rarely processed by said authorities.. so  OVERALL,  China is significantly more free than our beloved democracy.

法克鱿
这不是自由

Show Image

Hahahahaha...


you have to understand 1wolf..  your freedom is absolute..   whether or not anyone says you're free..

BUT as a society, we clip our wings for the sake of social order...


Because the Chinese Society in PRACTICE (outside of what's written)  has far more Disorder and border lines Chaotic....     IT is indeed more free...

Because  the reality of freedom is that which can be FELT...    America might sell you a paper that says one thing..  but go and try some **** in real life.... boom,  the power that be will corner you and oppress you because they OWN the law.


In China That fascist power is also there, but it does not have the reach to touch everyone's life..


So... I iterate again,  China is (on average) much more Free..

[Novus]

TeePee, I think you've been missing the point of my nonsensical posts.

[katushkin]

So, the policeman takes you home, then you bribe tip him?

[rowdy]

And this is something that actually happened to you?

[tp4tissue]

And this is something that actually happened to you?

I can't be the first drunk person to steal a bicycle..  for cereal !!

[dustinhxc]

And this is something that actually happened to you?

I can't be the first drunk person to steal a bicycle..  for cereal !!

The story is just too damn good man.. I want to hear more!