Any advice on making and keeping goals?

[SpAmRaY]

I'm trying to be more intentional and happen to life rather than just letting life happen to me.

I've never been good at setting goals much less keeping them.

Anyone have any good advice in this area?

Doesn't have to be keyboard related but that is certainly one example. I've got quite a few projects I've always wanted to start but just let things pile up!

[iri]

What advice is even theoretically applicable here? Just set your goals and stick to them.

[user 18]

Break larger tasks down into smaller and more manageable bits.

Write things down, I find having a physical record increases my motivation.

Work on one or two things at a time, don't try to spread your attention over a bunch of tasks at once.

[SpAmRaY]

What advice is even theoretically applicable here? Just set your goals and stick to them.

Perhaps there are processes that can be shared. Or specific things people have found helpful in the way of tracking goal progress or reminders they use to keep themselves on track etc.

.... don't try to spread your attention over a bunch of tasks at once.

Sadly this is how I do everything....leads to much procrastination which leads to not getting anything done!

[intelli78]

In my opinion it is all about habits. You have to build good ones with consistent effort. By starting with small goals and working up.

This part is ABSOLUTELY KEY: You MUST commit to taking at least ONE small step each day, even if only 15-20 minutes. When you do that, it becomes a habit and gets easier every day.

It's like exercise. you can't just go to the gym and squat 315, you'll get crushed. But if you build up your strength consistently, soon you will succeed.

Also same with dieting. People who try to change overnight, like with a New Years Resolution, almost all fail. People who cut 100 calories at a time and make consistent progress are those who change their lives.

So basically the exact opposite of iri's advice....

[vivalarevolución]

Oh god, I can relate.

[rowdy]

Maybe priorities.

I have at least a dozen projects on the go at any one time, but rarely get to spend time on more than one or two a day.

Sometimes, if external factors come into play, I might not get any hobby time for several days.

But when I do have some time, I know what needs to be done first or soonest, and what can wait until later.

[tp4tissue]

If you look at your life..

What are the most random and disruptive events,  children...

What type of events are unavoidable and is often prioritized ahead of all others, Children...



There was this reddit post a while back,  where men who take on a family commitment run into the same problems and hindrances in their professional/academic life as Most-Women..


If you enjoy or are locked into the family life.. (can't ctrl-z kids)..  the odds say you're pretty much going to work that 40-150k  for the rest of your life..


If we look at the people who exceed 150k..  these people don't spend very much time minding their kids..



So.. there you have it... 

I've defined your problem....


The solution is a choice between  raising your kids, playing the half-mommy role..


OR,


Focus on your career/self advancement, ignore your kids, and roll the larger dice on the fact that they don't turn into serious liabilities..

[pr0ximity]

If achieving goals were easy, you wouldn't need to set them in the first place.

[katushkin]

Tell other people about your goals. Something as simple as a friend going: "So how are you getting on with your X recently?" is enough for you to do it. If only for them to stop bothering you about it.

You could think of the benefits of doing whatever it is you are doing. When I gave up smoking I just thought about all the money I would save. That's pretty much the only reason why I quit. That and the first thing, that my gf was on my back about it all the time.

Put reminders on your phones as well so every day it tells you off for not doing whatever it is you should be doing. Tbf, I did that and still haven't gotten round to plasti dipping my metal keyboard case...

[intelli78]

Tell other people about your goals. Something as simple as a friend going: "So how are you getting on with your X recently?" is enough for you to do it. If only for them to stop bothering you about it.

Actually there is a TED talk about how you are much less likely to achieve your goals if you tell people about them. Apparently it activates reward centers in your brain and decreases motivation because your brain thinks you have already accomplished something.

[katushkin]

Mmmmm.... But if it's a goal that is achieved by you doing one single act, you then have to tell people you've done it, and it's then just like asking for positive feedback.

I prefer to say to someone that you are going to do something, so they can bring it up when it's done, rather than you bringing it up yourself.

It really did help with me when I quit smoking as people would keep asking me how it was going and I would know that I would have let people down if I didn't keep it up.

[tbc]

i really think that completely depends on the person involved and quite frankly, a whole ****load of other factors.

[tp4tissue]

i really think that completely depends on the person involved and quite frankly, a whole ****load of other factors.

the main factor is the allowance of -time-

yea. it takes focus, hardwork, dedication,  etc..   but you have to have the -time-..

[ferociousfingerings]

1. decide what you want
2. defeat everything that tries to stop you

If you don't really Want to do the stuff you tell yourself are your "goals," then that's not really your goals.

[tp4tissue]

1. decide what you want
2. defeat everything that tries to stop you

If you don't really Want to do the stuff you tell yourself are your "goals," then that's not really your goals.

I think it's   the deciding -what you want-  that trips up most people..


Let's look at  the -family-man-...  a part of him most-very-much-likely would like his wife and entangling kids to disappear...


Yet,  while that is certainly an Option,   our social structure and schooled-beliefs forces the guy to stick with it...



So now,  what he truly wants is greatly diminished, because a portion of it is locked away.

[tigersharkdude]

For me, I hit a "plateau" around 1-1-15 with my gym routine, so I decided to start a log to keep track .. it definitely works.

If I write down today everything I need to do tomorrow, then when tomorrow comes I'm more inclined to complete everything so that I don't have any empty spaces on the page.